after a week ive decided this this my fav track off the EP

featuring @nothomex

i let that shit get the best of me 
now i be rockin on therapy 
i do this shit all so carefully
the weight on my neck is just killin me 
pour down sleeve 
i can't fucking sleep
watch my eyes close
yeah 
this shit like 3d
i like her nose ring 
lil bitch got tagteam
her love like bad dream
i pour my once all alone now
i whip it like green and i lay out
all of my boys trynna hang out 
but i'm just trying to smoke till i black out

It’s weird when I have future in my head 
Because before 21 I see myself dead 
I can’t see any color , how can I not be mad 
I don’t have an expectation for the start of my life only for the end
I can’t see anything I cannot blend 
In between the society , I’m on a deep end 
Will I be able to stand ? 
Find myself in this shitstorm 
Did they already know my end before I was born

Last summer I was more lost than found 
Was left picking up the pieces scattered on the ground
Couldn’t talk couldn’t sleep 
Couldn’t walk couldn’t eat
Lost some pounds I lost some weight 
Now all pants fall from my waiste 
Scars on my wrist tears on my face 
The deepest wounds are the ones you can’t see
I’m the only one who can feel
All the pain they reveal 
I hope I’ll get better this year 
Sometimes I stand still 
I tried i tried i tried i tried 
i cried i cried I cried i cried
I tried i tried i tried i tried 
i cried i cried I cried i cried

dead b4 21 (ft.not home.) prod.nadiak & marlas dreams

Stars w/ residential. [+ sogimura]

lyrics

we're falling out of love
u just want to break my heart
n "find someone to trust"
u just went too far

whyd u have to say that u could love me again
while u were busy putting all those fucking marks on his neck
i could name a lot of things that i really regret
n theres not a single day i didnt wish i was dead
ive lost a lot of blood, like im still on the mend
so im stitching up my wounds with some needle n thread
despite all of the time u still live in my head
and i think ive gotten lost on this path that i tread

and if u say u love me ill respectfully decline 
girl, i dont wanna fuck u i would rather just get high
cause, love is like a spiders web and i am just a fly
and i just wanna overdose and stare unto the night
ill see u all in hell when im on the other side
u dont really know me u just bought into the lies
i dont really blame u, u just tryna do whats right
but the people that u love would be the people u despise
if u knew the things that i knew
if u saw the things that i saw
falling to the floor
drowning me once more

too far

i see the moon shining on this dark night
that wont damp my mood babe im alright
it use to but now im really different
all for the better
i wouldnt change it at all
no fucking chance
ive spent alot of nights in this room
and ill spend alot fucking more
ask me "how many more?"
and ill just say; "until im on the billboard"
so i asked what that bitch have
and he couldn't answer me
cause he hated me
and i dont know why
in the midst of these dark cold nights
nights add up and i see him
in my future i really wanna be with him
i can see now
am i finally see thru?

drk, cld, nghts. (kuboi)

luv yall <3
prod. ztope

lyrics
-----------------
long nights on the patio
its getting cold, girl i gotta go
7/11 stop down by the road
long drive, but im walking home
long nights on the patio
its getting cold, girl i gotta go
7/11 stop down by the road
long drive, but im walking home

all already alone
so it shouldnt make any difference
but why cant u pick up the phone
n why is everyone distant
i speak and its hurt in the tone
i just wanted u to listen
this blunt really got me in thoughts
inside of my mind is a prison

long nights on the patio
its getting cold, girl i gotta go
7/11 stop down by the road
long drive, but im walking home
long nights on the patio
its getting cold, girl i gotta go
7/11 stop down by the road
long drive, but im walking home

follow spotify!

nites

5/31/22
the song that introduced me to 9tails
@sewerperson

9TAILS - leaves (cover)

u cannot tell me 
different at all
im livin a cycle
i js wanna ball
i dnt wanna fall 
so im tryna crawl
away
☆
been standin still
thats js how them bitches livin
yeh
blacked out
fucked up
in a cold kitchen
yeh
im tryna whip a cayman one day, so
i can give back to my family, hoe
cus they aint deserve that shit
all my family are fake as shit
im gonna be that bitch
im gonna be the shit
even more so
☆
yeh yeh
even more so
hows it feels to have pills in ur torso?
really bad.
when im out of my room doin tours n shit
i rly need my god damn milli back
im use to havin snakes in my friends list
if they hold me close 
imma hold em closer
godspeed
i dont want that to be likely
but if a bitch try me one more time 
they gon have to fuckin fight me
☆
im growing up
unlike u 
ur throwing up
gang signs 
n throwin bands
even tho they fake as hell
u just doing this for the clout
no one even likes u 
but ill shut my mouth
ur a sore to be around
i dont love u.
☆
been standin still
thats js how them bitches livin
yeh
blacked out
fucked up
in a cold kitchen
yeh
im tryna whip a cayman one day, so
i can give back to my family, hoe
cus they aint deserve that shit
all my family are fake as shit
im gonna be that bitch
im gonna be the shit
even more so.
☆

sampled comfort chain by instupendo
this song is entirely non profit on Spotify and soundcloud 

thank you

im trying everything possible.

7/28/22
prod. @everythingmackk

i've sent too many sorries
and my phone is gonna die soon
i should've learned something
at least more than a thing or two
like what is worth to a person
who cherishes the dirt on their shoes
do i turn a blind eye to my own cries?
or fear the rest of my youth

cause i don't wanna force who i am
as i pour another cup, with trembling hands
over half of my life's being made without plans
i get it; if i made a choice, 
i'd surely regret it
but most of all my worries,
i can't fit them in the pensmanship
you simply wouldn't get it
even if you really listening
the center of my soul don't only glow
it's also glistening
my demons start to part as i'm
pouring the nitroglycerin

it only feels like i'm here when i'm
stun-locked in third gear, and a 
dozen million miles away from reality
i hope forever ain't forever
unless it has to be
cause i don't wanna go out in misery
let go, of whatever this meant to me
fuck that
imma go on a killing spree

emma, i'm sorry for everything.

it's my fault you let me go
met in the seventh grade
we went separate roads
cause of some stupid shit i'd say
i just tore up all my clothes
courtesy of missing your face
if i finally break this mold
i'll thank you some day

i've sent too many sorries
and my phone is gonna die soon
i should've learned something
at least more than a thing or two
like what is worth to a person
who cherishes the dirt on their shoes
do i turn a blind eye to my own cries?
or fear the rest of my youth

this ain't just a knack
it's a passion
double shame on you 
for thinking all i do is actin'
part of me is straight
the rest is being held captive
living in a cavern where arachnids and bats been
constantly refracting

yeah, but i'm not worried about it
i'm entangled in this string
tryna gnaw my way out it
you had liked a post of mine 
a while back when i doubted
if i was truly good for nothing
based on how low the clouds been...

clouds to crows

clouds to crows [prod. mackk]

i forget the prods i'm sorry :/ but this is nonprofit and i used 2 dif prods

lyrics:

constantly calling me
honestly, i been a product of problems
arisen from prodigies
flop in my music so often i thought below all them was never an option for me
mixing the vox on a screen
i been missing you calling to me
say she falling for me
i couldn't know what that mean
shawty gon nod to the beat
she just nod to the beat-
woah, slow it down, there you go
if you spit it too fast they lash out at the flow
if you spitting facts, they wont spaz at the show
you got a bag needing cashed for the low

when i pop off
sipping top notch
hop off
this aint hopscotch
"fuck around get notched, no mc,
better stop"
nah
i got plans for yall
dancing around you, flow feast, no tabletop
snow fleece, she take it off

~~beat switch~~

been searching for a better me
n lurking on my tracks
i think they split me like anenome 
to break it down n say im better off a enemy
u better off alone than look along the road ahead of me
woah
burn scars
cigarettes
snowstorm, skin torn
tell me r u living yet
feel like a silhouette 
wit all the effort i put in it just for little checks
couldnt give a shit
imma grind until my timepiece a little drip
audemar the slits
jus a little bit
<3

nod//jus a little bit

w/ @fleshgolem

first single off of the ep, 
happy bday fleshy

lyrics

[mæsk]
im worn, im worn
been wearing and my skin is all torn
but i feel alive, when in eye of a storm
i tip my hat off to those that can move on

she said lets go
well ur just going home
ima be drifting slow

she paddles out to sea to see i see her halo
i cant allow it, need to escape 
ill fuck u up, 
please just go back to where u came

depression i just battle it
im sinking on this battle ship 
steer till i cant battle shit
this is my own settlement
until im old, thats if im old

im holding on to rafts with no sign of a life boat
i know on this 1 i wont have time to grow

she sent a signal to me that i wasn’t alone
now urs to take 
all my flesh, yeah my skin and my bone

im outta time in this world im outta time 
and its just me by myself on this grind
and its time to let the pen down
write my final words coz im just out of time

[flesh]
so why is there still time to waste?
i'm still disoriented from the time the tidal wave came thru
cause i've been washed up, cleansed all the way thru
and i'll be damned if i'll be drowning cause of you
it's a process, that's what i tell myself 
inside my head its saw traps, i run with reason 
but i always tend to talk back, it's changing seasons
nearly autumn guess i'll fall apart in my room

i said let's go but i'm just going home
i wish that you'd come too, lay my fantasies out on the table
high seas, pulling me away
i went too far the tide is tryna steal my shame
i try to battle it, i swim but i'm just paddling
there's water in my lungs and i don't think i can handle it
i'll tip my boat, that i'll do
before i ever admit defeat to what i knew
before the life before me ever became true

signal w/ flesh golem (flesh x sunshowers)

produced by: @remghost
mixed & mastered by me 

lyrics:

on this bed i feel lonely
please baby just call me
my phone forever is on loud
but i can’t help but feel like
you just do not want me 
eventually i know you will 
on this night will you miss me?
i stare up at the sky
and pray i’m forever filled
with love, validations so hard when the person
u want don’t want u around 
u want don’t want u around 
that u want don’t want u around 

hands pressed to my head
i fucked up again
i can’t believe i just never learn
but the human function 
of learning love is 
so hard to understand
so i’ll just wait my turn 
i’ll just wait my turn 
like the rest of these punks
i over appreciate
these very pills that fuck me up
she don’t know what love means
baby u should look it up
i feel my hands sweating
heart stops
when i’m talking to you 

on this bed i felt lonely
and she didn’t call me 
so my phone on silent now ): 
i just couldn’t shake the feeling
that she did not like me
for once, guess i’m right, right now
and the sky looks the same
as it did before u took my heart
and just stomped it out 
i’ll just stop fuckin trying
and give you a smile
if i ever see you around .. 

i just pray i see u around 
i really hope i see you around

see u around (remghost)

(mostly) songs i wrote about a girl i no longer know

too far

betweentheveinsandi

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