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II Atmospheric/Depressive Suicidal Black Metal II

Another day, I rise in my dark cloud
Enveloped by blinding mist
Destroying my heart
Destroying my will
I try so hard
To spread beauty
To those I love 
I'v tried so hard...

When will my effort produce worth?
I lack the strength to believe
I am worth it, for I am not
Little do they know
The agony that screams within
Being another shadow in their lives
Speak to me, so I may breath
Rest my solemn mind
And give me assurance
That I am the one
To hold your hand
Through our lives 
Until the end

Am I good enough?
For who can prove this to me?
Left in my lightless pit
Where my thoughts run
In a spiral
Towards oblivion
Walking through clouds
Surrounded by pain
My failure chains me
Like the dog I am
My failure defines
Of my worthlessness

I am so sorry
I will change; for you I will change
For you I would walk one thousand miles
Over broken glass
Just to see your beautiful face
And to take your hand
Forever, as the future unravels 
Right before our eyes
Never leave my side
Eternity awaits us
Look at me
As the moon veils our love
Enveloped by achromatic mist
You are my sunshine

You said you would always be here
Amidst the darkness 
You would have my hand
resting firmly in yours
I crave this
Show me 
Please, God please
Show me that I matter
Change for me
And I will change for you
I love you
But I am lost
I would sacrifice everything
Just to see you laugh
Just to see you smile
Would you do the same?





I'm the type of girl is when I'm with you I'm only with you your my first and last thought of that day and night I try and help you when ever I can big or small if I see your mad or sad all I wanna do is be there for you and try to make things better or laugh or if you do anything bad to me hurt me or use me or play me I will forgive you no matter what you do I will forgive you cause all I want is for to to be happy I'm here for you when ever you need me I'm here threw the good times and bad times you could treat me like crap but I would not care idn why I like this I just am all I want is for the person I'm with life to be a little more easy and better it sucks being single cause I got all this love I wanna give and help even if they can't see it I just wanna be that one person they can run to or know im here no matter what even if it just for a little I'm that girl who cares for others more then my self and that's never going change no matter how bad my life gets I just want to make others people life better if you don't like who I am then please don't talk to me cause really I'm not some toy or game you can use and play when ever I am who I am I'm a girl with a lot of love to give take me as who I am or watch me walk away.. All I ever want is the one bf who will love me for me I hate being single I really do sigh...........and I'm the type of girl who will remember the small things like how you like you coffee the food you like toys games what ever ill even try and get you something for your birthday or any Holliday that's coming up any small thing ill try to remember cause the small things do count even if you can't see it at that point of time they do to me ♥ one day ill find a person who will want to date me till then it's just going be hard with all this love I want to give <\3. ♥...........no matter how much pain I'm in or if I'm in tears all I wanna do is help or when your sick help you get feeling better sigh I got to much love to give but no one to give it to :( <\3




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..., cause the most important things are the hardest to say.

-

Shine your light my golden son, and moments may last for eternity.
You have been my dream for such a long time.
In my life you're dead, but in my heart you're still alive, I'll never forget about you, my golden son ...
-
Solfeggio, binaural beats - very interesting, we'll try.
Cats purring at 20-50 Hz, my favourite healing frequency!
-
Hey ... are you dreaming? -Yeah, I'm dreaming, too.
Can you hear me? -Yeah, deep in my heart, it's always you...
-My dear, I see, you are walking the path of spiritual truth, I appreciate that. To me, you are the most precious person in the world, there's so much wealth inside yourself. Open your heart, we are connected within our souls. You are within me. Shine your light, my golden son, my Child Divine.
Yeah, consciousness is quite a strange thing,
the past is present and the future's right here
- that's mental reality.
We'll share our thoughts telepathically, there's no oblivion: I'm always with you - and you are here. 

-
We meet in the clouds because you choose it,
pouring drops of love and music in our ears.
But what's reality? I'm higher in you,
and you are livin' with me - in the dark 
spirits of consciousness.
Ah darling, I'm sad... today
Leaving the cave - just one step beyond,
my garden is blooming just for you,
I chose every blossom to bloom just for you 
because I love you - in the sun and in the rain. 

- dedicated to my deep dark God 
of my own Self, my Child Divine...
(I just wanted to say thank you, cause no other one 
inspired me the way you do - for all those years! )
Hey, I got your picture, the one with the most beautiful smile in the world, and I want you to know, I love every wrinkle around your eyes - you're the one, I knew from the start ... may I say: I've been loving you for so long, you're the one and you've always been  
-
Shanti means inner peace.
Shanti is enlightment.
You are my light.
-

inspired by you & your music :D

Just let your soul fly
like the birds
high up in the sky.
My feelings will surround you
like butterflies.
No need for falling
- we'll meet in the clouds.
-
You hate that you love, oh darling!
I am far away, but I'm close to your heart.
I always tried to be by your side
Though you pushed me away.
I'll kiss your heart in all my dreams and
I'll keep on doing till it's mend again.
Don't you miss me like I do?
-
Falling (and calling for you)
I believed in you from the start, the first moment I saw your eyes.
I couldn't stop myself falling for you, heard every whisper in the air, spoken from closed lips, silent screams that crashed my head.
Now I am here, strong for you, for your heart to be brave!
But I know, birds have to feel free, high up in the blue sky
- birds flying high, never fall into place.
Now all these years have gone, and all the things that I've done are missing in my head. When I'm thinking of you,  I'm still sitting here under the old whitering tree, watching thee, like an old movie in black and white where my heart is bleeding within your melodies. But every summer sunday tune is burning pictures from that big old dream, that lost key of you comin' home, finally. My heart is empty without you.
All doors are open, feel free, you may come and go
- just like the cats through the backyard door.
-
I always love listening to the songs you like, gives me chills. And I know you are brave, you've always been, it's only a matter of time. Feels so good to be here with you.
-
You are not alone - I will always be by your side.
You'll be my Child Divine forever, beloved like 
no one else before, come back, let's taste the blue sky together - always in love with YOU!

Hey, soon I'm going to be Grandma ... hohoho :)
This Baby will grow up in peace, with good music, beloved by a great family and a house full of cats - happy baby, hm? :D

A 21 year old dj playing with records. Lets see what production has in store. I don't hope you like it, I want you to love it. My goal as a dj: the bass had me like... send me props don't be afraid. I will do the same i just don't sugar coat, i have a certain taste, but I like all music. SoaD, to Sonora Dinamita, Ramon Ayala, to Eminem, to Dion & the Belmonts. I don't know how to read music, don't know what notes on a piano are, when is a guitar tuned, drums? I can barely play the forks on norms' tables. I don't have any degrees in music, nor do i attempt to go out and seek a school, even though that would be the ultimate experience. I like many, have a passion for music... some say djiing is a disgusting taste in music, "not playing actual instruments" or "what do you do when the cord is unplugged". So some acoustic instruments have a slight edge... I say since everything, and I mean everything is slowly going digital, electricity will be there and when black outs come, well, I'm investing in a generator. Lets fucking party. My music will of course be my music.. but enough chatter i like to let my work speak for itself. -Dj OG 

P.S. Fear is like an illusion, its all in your head. -MJ... according to a picture i saw on google. Great quote no matter what.

Out of my friends hot me is are you know one unit which is something you can do you know if you could say ass your cell you know I love you I you ask for your and I find that works really well and each oh my goodness we're just got this questions there is similar to what I just asked from Danny thank you Danny fish saying asking if you have really hungry in our depressed would you suggest are if you because I was can relate release here really hungry hard-pressed you not and she says also hey if you are depressed or overwhelmed what you have what kind of self-love tips do you have okay had any it’s me on Alex thanks for joining us nice I'll it might be a good friend of mine okay yes if I really depressed and well must provide.
Asked whether ranches for sale overwhelmed and then you're hungry so what do you do and then what kind of self tips do you have I no love tips okay so if I'm right just totally depressed I want to just let me squished I usually go to that link all the alternates %uh eat a lot <a href="http://maxmuscleleanadvice.com/">max muscle lean</a>select I'll take an apple and I'll cut it out it's pretty cool as evinced keen on being any just like me or you know thirty-seconds and then got like a delicious lunch happily email records apples oh my goodness yeah I would now warm apples that sounds like a good mother did that doesn't even somewhere to go to put it all it sounds like a its eat little turned a great see half-truths you know you go crazy on Apple's it needs to be your I because a lot of paper you go-ahead sir yeah or on something that is it doesn’t change grandparents just let justice stay and I like the last thing you wanton. 
Do your region might get walkout here see and right you know you know get out of the house I'm anytime just changed Iraq minutes in new perspective move mouse just get outside basically yeah pk am so if you're hungry can you the lotto Apple's and Google's you from the same awesome tips thank you Danny okay but there's also what is your philosophy we’re all such different individuals and everybody you know it's not like there's one size fits also how do you help women strategic with <a href="http://maxmuscleleanadvice.com/">max muscle lean</a>particular plan works for them loll I some for me like I said you know I've been on me yes it is after many years check many different things you know right now and smaller what’s working for me is a stand-in so I E primarily ace for the past three years I was even you know our are sixty her diet which is.

İstediğim her şarkıyı ve aradığım her sanatçıyı bulamasam da... 

One good thing about music, when it hits you,you feel no pain.
Bob Marley

I was born with music inside me. Music was one of my parts. Like my ribs, my kidneys, my liver, my heart. Like my blood. It was a force already within me when I arrived on the scene. It was a necessity for me-like food or water.
Ray Charles

Without music, life would be a mistake.
Friedrich Nietzsche

It is cruel, you know, that music should be so beautiful. It has the beauty of loneliness of pain: of strength and freedom. The beauty of disappointment and never-satisfied love. The cruel beauty of nature and everlasting beauty of monotony.
Benjamin Britten

Music is my religion.
Jimi Hendrix

Music is the strongest form of magic.
Marilyn Manson

There are more love songs than anything else. If songs could make you do something we'd all love one another.
Frank Zappa

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