a project that was unfinished, I wanted many more songs. unfortunately my mind isn't vast enough to hold that many thoughts.

don't wait for me at the pearly gates

(p. elujjin)
lyrics, mix and master by me

your so selfish and you know it
everything that you do is just for your self
no wonder why
no one wants to be around you 
why do you decide to push everyone away 
why do you decide to give up on the things you love
isolated you can't leave your room
smoked a bit too much
now your feeling blue
tryna chase that high that you felt years ago
but it cant be the same cus your smoking alone
all your friends moved on with their lives 
but your tryna find out how to survive
in this cruel cruel world 
you don't wanna have to be here

im talking about my self in third person because its quarky

(the things which used to distress you will become inconsequential)

[lyrics]
do i have a meaning like you say?
or do you give me false hope ever day?
just give it to me straight 
i wanna bloom someday
and be beautiful like everyone else
but its too late im gushing blood out of my stomach
i took the cowards way out
no one will ever forgive me :(
for doing this to my self
mom walks through the door sees my body on the ground 
oh what did you do to your self?
didn't care how it would effect everybody else
i made a selfish decision 
the first one in a while
keeping all my secrets hidden cus
if anybody knew who i used to be
they would look at me with disgust 
leave me behind leave me in the dust 
without a care, without, without, without a care

(be careful how you use the skill of a expert)

blood gushing out of my tummy

prod miercoles
lyrics, mix and master by me

ill close the curtains for you
ill make sure you're comfortable 
when your laying in bed
as long as you do the same for me
look out for me
look out for me 
oh please love me like no other
no other
I wanna be your #1
I wanna feel like no other
treat me like I'm so very special to you
look out for me
look out for me ill look out for you
look out for me ill look out for you

look out for me (oh please)

prod. everestdidthis
lyrics, mix and master by me

don't wait for me at the pearly gates
cus I wont be showing up
I tried to get a invitation
but they ripped it up
they know I'm not a good fit
they know all the things i did
this is my long term consequence
I'm gonna stay in hell
cus I can not redeem my self
I wronged so many people
it makes sense why
no one has empathy for me
c'mon give me a break I'm human
haven't you made mistakes before
or am I really
or am I really
or am I really

that fucking imperfect
I'm doing my best and you don't care
so just lay me to rest
don't believe in god
but I do when I pray for him to take my life
don't give me a second chance
I don't want it
if I was so great then I would've never
done all the things I did before
oh how unfortunate it is
for me to be born into this rancid body
I got my hands real dirty and I can not clean them up
oh what a shame I am to my family tree
oh what a shame I am to everyone that ever knew who i was

prod neverforever
lyrics, mix and master by me

fear of what I've become 
a monster behind my skin
one you couldn't get rid of by carving
its getting bad again
I feel abnormal 
I don't feel whole anymore
how can somebody live this way
so paranormal
how can somebody live this way
I'm so insufferable
unpleasant to be around
the cuts I gave my self are in my brain
I'm the only one to blame

paranormal skin

I am not sure who prod this if you know dm me or comment I gotchu, I apologize for no credit as of now
lyrics, mix and master by me

I see my self getting bitter
I see the blood getting fucking thicker
take one hard look at me
tell me now do I really seem like I'm really worth saving
am I really worth saving at all
cus I don't hold any value at all
I don't remember the last time I was told I was worth anything at all
I don't remember the last time I was told I was worth loving at all
so why should I even have a care in the world
why should should I care about what's going on in the world
why should I care about what anybody has to say at all 
cus I don't remember the last time I was told that my mom was proud of me
I just wanna be congratulated for doing things I thought I never could be
is it really that hard?

growing to be simply bitter

i scream and sing into a microphone during the day

bleedingcomputer is my discord
bleedingcomputer is my instagram
bleedingcomputer is name