The feeling that she had never really lived in this world caught her by surprise. It was a fact. She had never lived. Even as a child, as far back as she could remember, she had done nothing but endure.

She had never lived

The Upload 5/3/22

Can't Keep My Cool

THE WAY A FRIEND WOULD

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It's really me, and I really do reply to everyone.

Written by Kai Straw
Produced Kai Straw
Engineered by Fred Sorenson
Artwork by KloudM

LYRICS:

No one gave me shit
I worked for this
At this point I’m just
done with encouragement
You say talented
I say calluses
I’m tasting my blood just pronouncing it
Since Fairfield days
The beats I made
I may have quit drinking but dream the same

I was told this the moon
Like good luck, Mr. Rocket Shoes

And they ask me why you workin’
All days of the week
To get somewhere you’ll never reach

I’ve been wishin’ for better so long
I guess I’m sick of wishing in by bed alone
If those wishes were weapons
Their full metal jackets are stuck
So fuck wishin’, I’m here with a gun
Jiminy Cricket never made me anyone
All my clips are full of bitterness
And I’m coming for you
I’ma bloom like a wicked magnolia

I’m not stoppin’ this
Just the opposite
I won’t drop when most people need oxygen
Since the green Lexus
Since the weed excess
Since the drink was my treatment for depression
Man, my lips been blue
Fuck what stitches do
I’ll put red on this mic like it’s ’92

I was told this the moon
Like good luck, Mr. Rocket Shoes

And they ask me why you workin’
All days of the week
Toward something you’ll never be

I’ve been wishin’ for better so long
I guess I’m sick of wishing in by bed alone
If those wishes were weapons
Their full metal jackets are stuck
So fuck wishin’, I’m here with a gun
Jiminy Cricket never made me anyone
All my clips are full of bitterness
And I’m coming for you
I’ma bloom like a wicked magnolia

Until I’m taken by weeds
My will is my leprosy
Instead of wounds that scrape the sheets
I’ve got no turn back in me
So set glass beneath my feet
Take the last breath that I need
To meet what glows beyond my reach
I’ll become a tragedy

There’s is no hell that spells retreat
Fuck your gravity
This to the grave
This to the grave

Stream

Mr. Rocket Shoes

FACETIME (feat. han.irl<3)

As well as the previous one, i wasn't able to finish this track as my apartment was burglarised on October 2020.
Around July 2020, i've randomly sent some music to a dear friend of mine: Simon Heah, because he wanted to hear it.
Here is what's left, as well as other lo-fi recordings that i will only share on Soundcloud.
The thieves stole my musical equipment, my computer and the usbs where i kept the projects at the time, gladly i was able to send some audio files to Simon.
There is no reason for me to holding on to it, so here it is...

Sky Blue Skin was recorded mainly around July of 2020, in my home studio.

Sky Blue Skin (Unreleased Track)

2 Bed, 2 Bath (and a Ghost)

covered one of my favorite bands, definitely listen to the original if you haven't already


When you told me you were leaving, 
well I couldn't feel my mouth, 
because all I'll ever be is someone else. 
As I watched you walk away, 
I felt something in me change. 
My heart froze over, all emotion dripped away 

So I drove home, 
at a hundred miles an hour, 
just to see what it feels like to fly. 
I crashed my car, 
into someone else's backyard, 
just to see what it feels like to die. 

When you told me that you missed me, 
well i couldn't close my eyes, 
because I realized what it felt like to die. 
'cause all you'll ever be 
is a nightmare and a wet dream, 
a reason to smile from six feet under ground. 

So I drove home, 
at a hundred miles an hour, 
just to see what it feels like to fly. 
I crashed my car, 
into someone else's backyard, 
just to see what it feels like to die. 

So bathe me in pale flesh, 
promise that I'll never be good again. 

I hope you miss me when I'm gone, 
because I can't hold on for too long. 
and I'm so scared of dying alone, 
that I'll kill myself right here, right now. 

and i'll die.

2 Bed, 2 Bath (and a Ghost)

Bug Hunter