perfection in the scream, pure ear candy mate

since ur last message - one take

the second single off my upcoming album 'dearly departing' coming out on 9/9
featuring @betweentheveinsandi
produced by @jolst
art by @/ashleydhe on instagram
hope u enjoy <3

lyrics:
its finite, reactive bullshit
that got us here
and i dont mean to laugh or joke
but i see it clearly how
time takes lives in the cruelest way
and im fucking exhausted
so i wont pray for calmer waves
im better off in a coffin 

or when its half mast
think about what i’ve passed
will i be forgiven?

or when im undone
will i run
or is this a new beginning?

i think i saw your star sign
projected in the night sky
i look out to the ocean
and then im back to your eyes

veins:
I don't give a fuck anymore
I would let her drown me in a low tide
these decisions assault my eyes
I brace for the waves that drag me back into the deep tide

yuh,
it gives a deep high
I guess it feel right
underwater with no sunshine
I heave a deep sigh
I'm filled with sea brine
all of my bones will rest in deep lime

but it's been nice
I hope u feel right
I hope he never leaves ur fucking side
I pray u both live long and happy lives
most of all, importantly, I hope u feel alive

its finite, reactive bullshit
that got us here
and i dont mean to laugh or joke
but i see it clearly how
time takes lives in the cruelest way
and im fucking exhausted
so i wont pray for calmer waves
im better off in a coffin

dearly departing

low tide (ft. betweentheveinsandi) [jolst]

spotify & apple music!

IV. low tide (ft. betweentheveinsandi) [jolst]

i can make something out of everything i see...
prod. @jolst & @sainttomorrow
art by @/ashleydhe on instagram
love u all, album next week
from the bottom of my heart, i hope u enjoy <3

lyrics:
i need help
could u lend me a hand?
cuz the foam on the waves
just threw me into the sand

i need time more than anything
i can make something out of everything i see
but i just want to breathe for once
i don’t think thats asking much

to take, to give, to love
living is hard enough
im so used to the brace before the impact
that when i sleep i just wake before the contact

and now i wander
and i wonder
if its over, dead and gone
if my memory takes too long
are u someone i can rely on?

i need time more than anything
i can make something out of everything i see
but i just want to breathe for once
i don’t think thats asking much

i think i waited too long 
i know the damage is done
im moving mountains just to solve
all of the problems i’ve caused
i’d rather take it all in
than try to fix what i broke
cuz every time i step a foot in
i just slip and then choke
i think im losing whats in front of me
and whats in front of me
is the ocean and some company
but what is company
when im all alone
i’ll try to cope 
but i dont wanna know
what’s really gone now

the weight is heavy on me
and i’ve been falling backwards
i cant stay steady i just
pray for better days when i think i need you
more than i’d admit
i wanna cry and fucking quit
my stomach pulls and shakes and twists
take me back to those i miss

i need time more than anything
i can make something out of everything i see
but i just want to breathe for once
i don’t think thats asking much

VII. mountain mover [jolst x saint tomorrow]

Big thanks to @carlby for being on this one. Mixing this was hard, because no matter what I did, everything I did to my mix made it sound worse. It got to a point where I basically just said "screw it, it's never gonna be good enough, I'm gonna drop it just how it is" so I hope you guys enjoy my suffering xD

Like A Forest Fire(Feat. Carlby) | Prod. HeyRick

All of the time that i just wasted
Spending all of my days intoxicated
So isolated i need sedation 
Tryna get her out of my head is so brainless

Tear drops on her face 
And She Tellin me she made a mistake
I don’t really know what I’m gonna say 
I guess It was going so good till it just fuckin didn’t 

I’m lyin when I say im ok 
Cuz You keep Poppin up inside of my brain
And All the shit you said don’t hold any weight
Yeah She tell me that she me love me till she just fuckin didn’t 

With the eyes like diamonds 
Mesemerizin
Youre the one I think of when I close my eyelids
Can I kill the silence I’ve been feelin lifeless
Messin with my head and my heart she a white bitch
All you do is type but the words not vibrant 
She keep pullin me in she hot like a siren
Belive me when I tell you that you help me ease my mind its 
Kinda fuckin crazy that i had you by my side bitch

But now it’s all over 
And I can’t stay sober 
I’m poppin the pain away
And thinkin of better days 

This that drive me to the grave
And our love was just a phase
You treat me like shit most days 
It’s just gonna break me

But now you’re gone 
Every thought feels wrong 
Idk what’s going on 
lately I been so jaded 

She look me in the eyes she could tell that I’m faded
Spreadin nothin but lies you petty and faceless 
I guess Her laugh was a disguise she was plotting my demise 
I can’t tell what’s wrong could you please get me right 
Good sex forgot all the shit that went wrong
I could never speak my thoughts so I put em in a song 

Next thing that I know everyone singin along
And I swear I try my best but I can’t keep holding on 
She knows she was the first that i brought up to my mom 
Try to tell you how I’m feeling but the words are all wrong 

And i miss you even more with the time spent apart 
Said that you need healing coz your thoughts been dark
But she really scared of feeling so she told me let’s part
I hope that you get better cuz youll always have my heart 

Gotta stop scrollin on the feed
Just so I can write on a beat 
But you know he gonna spit some heat
I made 4 racks just last week what you call for
Always on my phone in case it beeps
And your face so pretty in my head repeatin 
I wish i didn’t love her for all the wrong reasons 
She say she gotta go our love was just a season 

Tear drops on her face 
And She Tellin me she made a mistake
I don’t really know what I’m gonna say 
I guess It was going so good till it just fuckin didn’t 

verse again)

this was a love story (prod. gage oakes)

what you'd do

Featuring @sideviewdriveca, @neondion & @decksmusic
Produced by @pekarot_161
Mixed by @decksmusic
Mastered by Bryan Shortell @shordeli
Art by BunillaBunz

LYRICS
(Carlby)
Ain't got a dollar to my name but I'm so wealthy
And when I feel out of place my friends tell me
That I'm right where I'm supposed to be
But I'm afraid to open up
Don't get too close to me

No doubt
Wouldn't be here without you
Shout out to the homies
It's about you
I'm slowly finding my way
I'm hoping you do the same
Because we've got a lot to celebrate

Listen on Spotify!

Wealthy Pt. 2 w/ Sideview Drive, Neon Dion & decks (Prod. Pekarot)

scrap from learning to lose
+ alternate art i did not end up using
prod. @wisssery
much love, enjoy <3

i wrote the lyrics in a notebook so i will not be putting them here my bad guys hope u can understand

middle ground [wisssery]

Pretty Bird

7. Letters from Home

A quiet hymn for living with absence. “Missing” holds space for the ache without rushing it away—small breaths, soft courage, and the simple practice of carrying love forward. If you’re grieving, this one is a hand on your shoulder and a light in the next room.

since ur last message - one take

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