💔iusetohavefeelings💔

haunting from the inside

April Drops #1 !!!

IBleedIcare Favorite songs

uhhhhh

Guest what

55depths

when you awake
i wont be there to give in
i take whats left of the day
sorry days
when i go away
i hope the memory stays
or will the memories fade
different day 
sorry days
ill be 
in a pool of your makeup
ill drown
when you awake
i wont be there to give in
i take whats left of the day
sorry days

sorry days

https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/rouri404/open-water

Watched you fall right back into
Know I don't wanna do this again
I watched you fall right back, you know I
Watched you fall right back into
Know I don't wanna do this again
I watched you fall right back, you know I

Don't wanna hear you scream my name
We're going down in flames (we're going down we are, we're going down)
Don't say I'm not the same when your to blame
We're going down we are, we're going down

Cause things never go the way you wanted (way I wanted you)
And I feel stupid waiting for this (know I'm not waiting on you)
Cause things never go the way you wanted (way I wanted you)
And I feel stupid waiting on someone who never cared or gave a shit
Wish that I could take a hint, shoulda known I'd never fit
Always falling right back in
Yea don't think we'll ever win (don't think that we'll ever win)
But I ready for my end, I been ready to watch you

Fall right back into
Know I don't wanna do this again
I watched you fall right back, you know I
Watched you fall right back into
Know I don't wanna do this again
I watched you fall right back, you know I
Watched you fall right back into
Know I don't wanna do this again
I watched you fall right back, you know I
I watched you fall right back, you know I
I watched you fall right back, you know I
I watched you fall right back, you know I

spotify link<3

open water (WLVSKY)

@55depths

thx @silentcxbin for hopping on this with me.

I feel it
(I feel it)
she's coming
(she's coming)
she's bringing hell with her
I'm wrapped around her finger

do you feel it
(do you feel it)
your linger
(your linger)
it's been a hard few months
i can only take so much

[CXBIN]

and it's 
not obvious that

I can only take
so much 

I can only take
so much

I got 3,4,5
tylenol
in my hand
I'm take them 
shit

agh hold up

I don't wanna pass out
I don't wanna black out
I don't wanna another
fucking hundred at my head now

and you're gon say that
you're alright 
every time that
you hit my line
and you're gon say that
you're alright 
every time that
you hit my line

it goes, on and on
hell rains down upon

(chorus)
hell rain down on me
in the form of all your burdens
I only end up hurting
I only end up hurting

hell rain down on me
in the form of all your burdens
I only end up hurting
I only end up hurting

</3

hell rain down w/ silentcxbin (deathright + 93FEETOFSMOKE)

prod. deville
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gv0E2LYaE8U

metalstar

shoutout @makeangelscry for being on this!! he carried the shit outta me.

prod. @nickp3tro
mix n master. zonex

running with the pack ft. makeangelscry [prod. p3tro]

prod by wxrst
w/ @quizofspitshak
mixed & master by @silentcxbin

###LYRICS###
{@silentcxbin}
Oh hey hi 
How you doing 
Oh don’t mind that!

The weather always cold 
Ya know I cannot change 
The climate 

I stay in combat but 
I’m never fighting 

I want to go but 
It’s not the right timing

They want me dead 
Cuz the public target rising

Aim for head 
Pussy blow the led
Or bite it

Forever 
Ain’t forever 
Make believe 
Is timeless 
I know that your loveless 
It’s okay I’m heartless 

So you can 
Steal my heart a million 
Times I don’t want it 
Take me 
to the bounty hunter 
I know that I’m wanted 
I’m never honest 
But most days
Stay cautious
Cant take a breath 
Or a break 
There’s no stopping

Pins and needles 
In my back 
I can't feel a thing
Why the fuck
You talking like 
you know me 
You don’t know 
My name

stay back pussy 
yeah I come alarmed 
Get your shit dragged boy 
You ain’t come prepared 
I’m with my monsters 
In here so it’s dead or dare (x2)

{@quizofspitshak}
Yeah
No matter 
where my head will lie
I'll try 
my hardest to live this time 
I'd thought 
you'd know better than criticize 
All I ever wanted was a simple life 
And I'm still trying my hardest, 
I turned heartless, 
dead regardless, 
too many things that 
I want to get started,
paint the picture on my back 
and I'll be the target 

Chasing hope, 
I'm chasing love, 
I'm chasing lust 
chasing us, 
breaking us, 
making up, 
pretend to be sad 
you not shaken up, 
damn yeah you fake as fuck! 

If this a nightmare 
when am I waking up 
Working 9 to 5 jobs 
don't get paid enough 
Smoking all day no god 
imma pray for bud
Selling blood for money, 
needle in the vein and suck

{@silentcxbin}
stay back pussy
yeah I come alarmed
Get your shit dragged boy
You ain’t come prepared
I’m with my monsters
In here so it’s dead or dare (x2)

STREAM! ୧(⇀‸↼‶)૭

dead or dare. w/ quiz (wxrst)

@55depths
@softbite666

</3

i've been tryna get it goin'
get it moving
but i'm stuck in the past tense
like who the fuck i wanna be now?
cause i don't wanna go back to him
fucked it up from the start
thought i knew you
but when i look into the mirror
i see right through
i don't need help
i need to get out
i'll do it myself
even if i drown out

yeah, yeah
even if i drown out
yeah, yeah
even if i drown out

i'm looking for a reason just to quit, yeah
cause lately i don't really give a shit, no
same thing different day
live in make believe
i wonder if i'll ever get used to me
imma get mine
it just takes time
55 that's the gang
no rewinds
so we gon do it
and push through it
did it on our own
with no co-signs

yeah, yeah
even if i drown out
yeah, yeah
even if i drown out

</3

drown (softbite)

prod @silversxo x @april211k

elle me dit qu'elle voudrait partir loin d'ici mais qu'est ce qu'il l'en empêche ? 
j'étais down bad toute la journée maintenant jregarde l'averse
j'ai pas pensé à la suite et ça fait 3 semaines
jsuis dans la nature j'trace ma route c'est si réel
jme sens comme un arbre quand il a perdu ses feuilles
j'ai fait l'deuil de ma relation avec ces fake hoes
quand elle veut me call jlui dit pas maintenant
X X 0
shawty j'm'enfuis loin d'ici
X X 0

peut être que jsuis trop sentimental
jpourrai pas te dire, pour être honnête avec toi ouais j'm'en tape
dans mon crâne, c'est un vacarme
j'ai trop tiré de lattes maintenant elle s'efface de ma mémoire
j'ai le grimoire dans la main
jme raconte l'histoire mais ouais j'ai fais des efforts
mais après j'ai fais l'mort
mais est ce que t'en veux encore ?
jveux parcourir son corps
jveux trouver des trésors

[maintenant elle s'efface de ma mémoire]

l'averse (silver x april21)

HIVE

WHITEWALL (feat. WHOKILLEDXIX)

my first track of many with bleaky ! <3 love you brother :) so proud to be a part of 55 depths

love is a disaster w/ bleaky (p3tro)

GYAAAAAAHFHDAFHADLFJALF

prod tigrstar *kills maself*

would you swear you’re not dependent on whoever else is out there?
(if only you were mine)
you should come to me instead
took a while, but i’m starting to get there
messing around a lot before things get serious
gotta hide my eyes they’re a little too dilated

you didn’t hear it from me, but it’s appearing
here before you even know
hours inside, overhead is too bright
how can you expect me to sleep?
after all you did, come on

must be so far gone, always seeing things wrong
play it play it off, lemme play it play it off
i know we never dealt with it, i really felt that 
we could’ve gone further to
(be in love)

reminisce, try to admit, have willingness
to think out loud and accept what i’m feeling 
cus i wanna talk to you all the time, yeah
and i’m so far gone, do or you can die
you can do or you can die

if you wanna, wanna, wanna
play this out right, out right, out right,
say if you wanna, wanna, wanna
say it outright, outright, outright

i want you, what would you wanna do?
i want you, what would you wanna do?
we could talk all night, but if it’s silent i don’t mind
lets just lay down side by side

i’m not too sure but i feel so useless… she’s gonna miss

would you stay, if i asked you would you stay with me?
what do you say when you’re, when you’re speaking bout me?
would you stay, if i asked you would you stay with me?
until I realize that it’s better when
the truth’s in the corner, so i guess i’ll do it alone
decide what you want from me
(so sad on my own)

hours inside, overhead is to bright like
how can u expect me to sleep alone?
hours inside, overhead is to bright like
how can u expect me to sleep alone?

if you wanna, wanna, wanna
play this out right, out right, out right,
say if you wanna, wanna, wanna
say it outright, outright, outright
if you wanna, wanna, wanna
play this out right, out right, out right, 
say that

heartburst

https://open.spotify.com/track/0bqdZ25dWQ6LgEV3G8J9fu?si=0c6142c1cf9e46a0

biteki vid vvvvvv
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zmOMzIdftbo

lov u fern <33 @x1fern

mix and master by me

Vocals
https://soundcloud.com/kryst4n/lovely-ft-fern-p-king-theta-184-bm-vocals/s-5c5ywlaA5qq?si=ba41921996cf453f851b8906a4d4068a&utm_source=clipboard&utm_medium=text&utm_campaign=social_sharing

lyrics ~

(me)
paint me darling
make me important
cuz id do anything just for a glimpse of ur attention
tell me ur sorry said don't even worry
u couldnt mess up anything if u tried tried
my dear ur perfect
ur so lovely
I was drowning in hurt until u came beside me
cuz u lighten my mood and there's stars all around me
cuz u make it so bright when its raining and cloudy

(fern)
tell me a secret 
cuz i cant believe it
i've been thinking bout you at my 9 to 5
and how i wanna spend my whole life
shawty in my head got me kinda fucked up
sitting in my room wanna say i love you
tryna be cool but im burning up inside
baby if u have me im here for the ride
im here for the ride

(me)
paint me darling
make me important
cuz id do anything just for a glimpse of ur attention
tell me ur sorry said don't even worry
u couldnt mess up anything if u tried tried
my dear ur perfect
ur so lovely
I was drowning in hurt until u came beside me
cuz u lighten my mood and there's stars all around me
cuz u make it so bright when its raining and cloudy

lovely feat 1fern prod king theta

love you both so much!! <3 :3 this song really means alot to me. 

lyrics:
(p3tro)
human life can feel so baseless,
the human body is a spaceship,
i swear to god its just a matrix,
i think i got the mind to break this

its all about perspective,
life can't bring you down unless you let it,
hearts under attack but the damage is in-effective,
your worth so much more, just don't forget it,
I think that's the point of a collective

don't forget yourself,
I know that your hurting and your stuck,
I just hope this helps,
I hope that you know that your enough,
every single person is worth it to love,
pushing past the voice in your head is so tough

not just you - cause its all of us,
i hear the voices they're calling us,
your more than you know, 
and more than you thought,
I hope your not lost but its all of us

(tiger)
once i'm third person bound
getting too into it
detaching the ligaments from my limbs
as if I don't exist 
Overloaded unethical thoughts to urself
d-digging in
If there's nobody else 
to stop ur spin

keep it up
why u down
not another frown cus
thats so silly uh
Really, aw
My friends major tripping out

im not biased, I can feel it
talk it out and then lets leave it
i just try to help u see it
u should trust my gut believe it

i get ur stuck, gonna go ghost
i cant ignore it and leave u alone
hearing it wrong, said we should talk
why dont we sit down 
cus its official, my life almost had no light like
i could owe it all to convos staying up all night
just chilling, vibing
love u bruh

(p3tro)
its all about perspective,
life can't bring you down unless you let it,
hearts under attack but the damage is in-effective,
your worth so much more, just don't forget it,
I think that's the point of a collective

don't forget yourself,
I know that your hurting and your stuck,
I just hope this helps,
I hope that you know that your enough,
every single person is worth it to love,
pushing past the voice in your head is so tough

not just you - cause its all of us,
i hear the voices they're calling us,
your more than you know, 
and more than you thought,
I hope your not lost but its all of us

perspective w/ tigerstar (1fern)

thanks so much for the guitar patrick your amazing <3 :) https://soundcloud.com/pat00000

lyrics:
pressure,
tension,

art is my bodies extension,
conquer my mind and divide my attention, 
skirting the line of neglect and obsession,

stressor,
lesson,

boredoms a human invention,
I know we usually aren't used to  connection, 
magic is language imbued with intention,

I believe in you,
and I see myself in your eyes,
so that's how I know ill be fine,
and every time that,

i think about you,
i realize that's why I'm alive,
my family's saving my life,
and i know

human invention (prod p3tro + patrick o'neill)

go follow kryst3n ! :3 https://soundcloud.com/kryst3n

countless thoughts w/ kryst3n (p3tro)

shout out kitz and the clones ! <3 :) and of course dante red. surprise drop w/ 47negus! love you brother

seeing red w/ 47negus (prod. gayshop + moonshop)

so glad this one finally came out! <3 love ya'll. big moves :)

stress test w/ DZO DIGITAL + Dylan Lotus (prod. RVRHIV)

I Hate This Body-Mccafferty

YUNG BRATZ

Prod:
https://soundcloud.com/fats_e
https://soundcloud.com/keeper92

MERCH: http://lilxlotus.storenvy.com/products/18507607-lil-lotus-noose-longsleeve

I can't do this (Prod. fats'e x keeper)

nothings gunna change [prod color hue]

luna coming soon

lyrics:

i lie here awake at night

so stressed out cant shut my eyes

cry about how fast time flies

forever after

heartless im hollow inside

tears shine bright like the night sky

i cant stay im just passing by

forever after

theres nothing left
dont love that bitch i just wanted the neck
no money no hoes got no reason to flex
remember all that fuckin time that i spent
tryna get that bitch out of my head

i still hate myself yea not that much has changed
im wondering why nothing has been the same
since back in the days
when life wasnt grey

i cant do this anymore
might pass out on the floor
please dont knock on my door
when you dont hear from me anymore

days are passing by and things will be alright
the darkness is alive i cannot find the light
with blood shot eyes i stay inside
im hoping i can stay the night

holding on to nothing
hoping i can make it something
i waste my time by chasing ghosts
and its me i let down the most

all i am is skin and bone

rather stay in bed alone

restless legs i shiver cold

and lie awake forever after

we hope our sorrows end and that our hearts will blend
im hoping everything works out before the end
so here i lie under the night
maybe our paths are intertwined

<a href='https://theartistunion.com/tracks/329a0b'>Download for free on The Artist Union</a>

Download

forever after 💜

Ｉ　ＷＡＳ　ＳＯ　ＬＯＳＴ　ＩＮ　ＹＯＵ
ＴＨＡＴ　Ｉ　ＬＯＳＴ　ＭＹＳＥＬＦ

//私がいなくなったら後悔するよ//

i wanted to release a lil' something for you guys as a thank you for everything you've done for me. a year ago, i was just a kid in my bedroom trying to figure out himself. fucking around with beats all day, smoking weed all night. i was depressed. hell, i'm still depressed & sometimes it feels like i don't know myself anymore, but this music has been the only thing that has made complete sense to me since the start & to know i'm helping you guys all whilst you help me is beyond beautiful. i'm so lucky to be where i'm at today. to be alive with all of you in my life. don't ever tell yourself that you won't amount to anything cause you're worth much more than you'll tell yourself & i promise once you find something you're truly passionate about and you dive deep into it, you'll feel a sense of purpose. there you'll find happiness. don't ever give up on yourself. i won't give up on you.

i love you

follow hateful

trafalgar (prod. by hateful)

prod. by @partysmartie

lyrics
--------
lie to me 
i think i finally 
struck a chord violently
ripped it right out the seams
hide and seek
they found another body by the creek 
the killers out on a spree
i'm afraid of everything i see

there's a ghost inside my bedroom 
at least i'm not alone but i can just pretend to
be awake with everything that i attend to
or sleep the day away & probably offend you 
i don't wanna waste another minute 
i can see the voices in your head don't wanna listen
the light reflects the glass you turn to dust & start to glisten 
kissin' you inside your bed is something i've been fuckin' missing
 
at night I turn my fears into my art 
crept inside my chest & ripped my beating heart apart 
i'll be wheezing coughing up their blood my demons will depart
imma add em up & drag em to the basement where i start
fix myself with bandages and roaches from last week
i've been searching for a purpose in some sugar coated sweets 
take a swisher & i crack it in the middle of the street
i could spark another thirty i'm not leavin' till i peak

lie to me 
i think i finally 
struck a chord violently
ripped it right out the seams
hide and seek
they found another body by the creek 
the killers out on a spree
i'm afraid of everything i see

follow partysmartie

by the creek (prod. by partysmartie)

ＴＵＲＮ　ＡＲＯＵＮＤ　＆　ＷＡＬＫ　ＡＬＯＮＥ

//私は十分に話していない//

lyrics
--------
when she goes i kiss her on the nose
tell her i love her so
turn around and walk alone
when she goes i smoke till i implode
coughing till i'm a ghost
i'm swimming to the coast 
where am i going
full of disgrace and self loathing
i cannot sleep without you in my sheets
so i stay up all night just hoping
that you come back but there's nothing
i guess i'm wishing for something
lost in a love with a girl whose a dove
and a crow of a boy that's been bluffing

i am just nothing
i am just nothing

when she goes i pick another rose
rip petals till i don't
that's just the way it goes 
when she cries i write another note
put it inside her coat
start clearin' out my throat

i never talk enough baby
trip over words like i'm crazy

follow taurusmoon

when she goes (prod. by taurusmoon)

ＨＯＷ　ＤＩＤ　ＷＥ　
ＤＥＳＴＲＯＹ　ＥＡＣＨ　ＯＴＨＥＲ？

//私たちは病気です//

tysm to @jvbeats666 for creating this beauty with me
go show him some luv 

lyrics
--------
whiskey pour another cup
nothing like the feeling of getting so fucked up
off the last lost breath of a lover that you once
had but she ran with a man much better than yourself
i think i need help
i think i can touch the sky & grip orion's belt
taking off my vans full of sand and some shells
heaven ain't the place for me but i can hear the bells

they say that an angel is self defined 
so when i describe
the girl that lost her mind
the sky will probably cry
but the rain won't mind
if you cry too
feel alive when the sky makes the clouds move
raindrops fall but i fall harder 
light reflects off the water in the harbor
i don't care to compare what i'm told
to what i believe cause i'm still all alone


i've been tryna get back home
but i don't know which road
to take before i can awake from this nightmare
i'm cold
all alone
got the wind straight blowin' in my face i can feel it in my bones
if i smoke
will the clouds lift my body from this place cause i don't feel at home

what's a home without a lover
what's a road without another
how did we destroy each other
how did we destroy each other

follow jay vee

all alone (prod. jay vee)

ＹＯＵ＇ＲＥ　ＴＯＯ　ＦＵＣＫＩＮＧ
ＧＯＯＤ　ＦＯＲ　ＭＥ

//あなたのために欲望//

lyrics
--------
lust always a problem
you could never solve it
i can never get the fuck away from what i think 
if she tryna come though
i could make her cum so
baby is it him you really want or is it me? 
this ain't ever work nah
this'll never work out
don't you know that you are way too fucking good for me?
if she ever calls back
i hope that she knows that
i could never see all of the good she sees in me (x2)
you're too fuckin' good for me (x3)

let's kiss up on eachother 
biting on your neck while you're thinking about another
love is lost in lust and girl you know we crave eachother
when the time we have is gone the memories will cluster 

lust always a problem
you could never solve it
i can never get the fuck away from what i think 
if she tryna come though
i could make her cum so
baby is it him you really want or is it me? 
this ain't ever work nah
this'll never work out
don't you know that you are way too fucking good for me?
if she ever calls back
i hope that she knows that
i could never see all of the good she sees in me (x2)
you're too fuckin' good for me (x3)

follow tothegood

lust (prod. tothegood)

The third Studio Album from McCafferty. 

I am so blessed to have had this opportunity to make such an incredible CD with my wife, and my friends. Thank you for listening and making this possible. 

The album will release everywhere November 16, 2019 with a full vinyl and merchandise run. 

Follow nickhartkop_mccafferty for updates about the band.

Fentanyl

****music vid :..)****
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XRFS_aVCJHw&list=LL3LaZlYVsBqvGfNMzTtNPwg&index=2&t=0s

@oaf1
omg b--
imso off it
i b pouring up grl u never catch me coughin
kiss me while i count it :*
she dnt rly like me but she rly like my outfit
i jus smoked a bat 2 the face 0.0
i am walking with my bros in da rain
grl u look just like aghost thru the screen
i dnt think u ever kno what i mean 😪

Aha im so gone
imon my phone
i hate this song
i do it wrong
x2

@dreamcache
imspillin it on my shirt
im fuckin everybodys night up :)
im gettin2 work
i cannot show out if its light out 
y is she tryna flirt
rly not feelin it rn
im steady sippn on dirt
me n my bros tryna die ε/̵͇̿̿/’̿’̿ ̿(◡︵◡)
fuckin rox onmy jeans hurt n its weighing me down
fuckin heavy w that leisure i stay sleepn on em 💤
mixin liters of seizure im jus tryna stay calm
christian™️ im rockin clean i dont fw this song🖕 

@oaf1
me n dreamcache
smokin out the fiend pack
its like a movie u shuld go n see that
swag at the imax™️
i dnt check the price tag
i kno u like that


prod me

doing it wrong

doing it wrong w/ @dreamcache

@me
do u know where we are
what were on
dnt look back
just move on
i think abt it alot
though im young
life is fast
almost done
cant think abt it enough

@gangppg
gimme
1 pill
do this shit again
ican not feel
u been in my head
so real
can u tell me wat u said
and my
heart racing
molly what she facing
im on drugs lik a patient
i won talk like a basic
i dnt want no conversation
do drugs
jus to wake up on the pavement

love lost
love cross
n i found it again
wont stop 
cant stop
ima do it again
im addicted to my old ways
take me bak to the old days

prod me :(

think abt it

think abt it w/ppgcasper

I listened to the cure 
And then I cried 
I watched Videodrome 
And lost my mind 
I tried to write a song 
I think you'd like 
But no one gives a shit 
About my life 
Until I die 
Its DIY 

I have nightmares 
All the time 
So I stay awake 
All night 
I say I'm gonna leave 
But I think you're right 
I'm gonna stay right here 
Until I die 
Its DIY

dead or dare. w/ quiz (wxrst)

cabby