I drive a tesla x
have missionary sex
new balance on my feet.
church on sunday
work on monday
not much to my week.

cuz I'm vanilla baby
white as snow
yeah I'm vanilla baby 
howdy ho
I'm vanilla baby
got good credit
I'm vanilla baby
hope that's your fetish

I never get in a mood
I never season my food
but I make a mean cheese sandwich
collect Pokemon and Magic Cards
I've got great wi-fi bandwith.

my favorite movie is 
Jack and Jill
no heroin i get prescribed my pills

VANILLA

girls can be the meanest
when you live life with a teenis 
they can say some nasty things
and I think they really mean it

But it don't bother me none
since my daddy said son,
if she won't give you ass
you don't need it!

Yeah it may look
kind of funny
it's really short
and really ugly
somehow skinny 
yet also chubby
but I still love my teenis

yeah my girl
she don't mind
when I tickle her 
from behind
she rubs it like a clitoris 
every time 
she loves my tenis.

TEENIS

Does she have hershey kisses?
or some gumdrops?
i'm lookin for a nice titty for the bum drops!
 
lI ove your booty but your titties got more
now drop your titties make em sag to the floor

now jump a little bit
jump
jump
jump
make your titties hit your knees grandma
jump
jump
jump
make your titties hit the floor

GRANNYS GUMDROPS

I'm pretty sure my wife is a bull dike
she doesn't like the stuff that other girls like
she only wears jeans 
and you know what that means
I'm pretty sure my wife is a bull dike

She tries to shave her head 
every other day
i saw her watching Oprah
so i'm pretty sure she's gay
she loves to go fishing
and crack a couple brews
sundays always football
but it's never with the dudes

she's got an attitude
she screams just like a dude
and if i had it my way 
my wife wouldn't be gay
but i guess that's just my luck

PRETTY SURE

you can't be too careful these days
when going on a date
not as simple as it used to be
finding a mate
you can swipe and pray
but they'll come a day
when it's time to pay the price
so don't let those titties blind you
take heed of my advice

check that girl for an adams apple
before you call her back.
some ladyboys are out to trick 
and treat you to a snack
if she can palm a basketball,
she probably has massive balls.
you better check that girl for an adams apple
before you call her back.

they scheme and cut and paint and tuck
and almost fooled me twice
but if a hottie was born with what i got 
then sorry my guy no dice.
so don't let that booty blind you
take heed of my advice
ladyboys are on the prowl and look just like your wife

CHECK

pills!
pudding.

tapioca
Percocet.

Swiss chocolate oxys?!?!

put the pills in the pudding and the pudding in the pills
call me Bill Cosby pulling up with pudding for your bitch
put the pills in the pudding and the pudding in the pills
call me Bill Cosby pulling up with pudding for your bitch

You bitch

PUDDING

I don't wear no raincoat
I don't like hats
I like to ride free and clear 
no strings attached

if you make me wrap it up...
then we can just wrap it up!

Can I go raw?
Will you let me go raw?
 I want skin to skin 
or I'm not going in
Can I go raw?

Cuz there aint no way in hell
I'm tryna suffocate myself
that's not the way God made a peen to be

Santa... 


Please


Please






PLEASE






...Leave us alone.

Santa, Leave Us Alone

DAY DRINKING!
EGGS AND BOURBON
DAY DRINKING!!
BACON AND KEGS!
DAY DRINKING!
GOOD MORNING BABY!
DAY DRINKING!!
LET’S GET WASTED AGAIN!!!


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ANGEL

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Santa, Leave Us Alone

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