pain

thoughtform collective - June 2021

Sad boy vibes 4

new shit 2

Sad Songs: Volume 3

Songs with Vocals

thank u

prod xmichaelwarren and remghost 
mixed feelnum 
cover oliver miller

sorry to ask (prod. xmichaelwarren & remghost)

he said it, i'm too damaged

w/ @scapexgoat


i'm trying my best 
i swear i am 
tryna show you i need you 
i wanna hold your hand 
i've been hurt so fucking badly i forget who i am 
this was never part of the plan 
so can you promise you won't run from me 
cause i'm so scared i'm fucking shaking
it gets hard to breathe
n i'm not used to someone wanting me 
god, it feels so fucking comforting

so pour me a drink
and i'll sing you to sleep 
n he said it
i'm too damaged 
bleed through the bandages
i'm so gone, god
i wish i never met him
n just to go sleep
have to be off fucking sedatives
i'm so gone, god
i wish i never met him

[scapegoat] 
i was in the backseat 
looking at my phone
why you never text me
i feel so alone
i just wanted you to stay 
tell me when the fuck you're coming back
i know i'm so bad
hate to see you like that
tell me why the fuck it hurts so bad
i wish i could save you but i know i can't
how the fuck can i help you,
i can't help myself

bleed through the bandages (w/ scapegoat)

lyric video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jdcl3lW-KXU&ab_channel=ghosthands

SPOTIFY + APPLE

intuition

Conversations

prod. metlast

i try to pretend this shit
is not fucking real
cuz theres no, way in hell
i could ever deal
with all the shit u say to me
and all things that ppl think
and i dont need to let u know
i dont need ur apathy 
i would rather die 
then take that shit anyway 

cuz everydays a living hell
but i still deny every ounce of help
that is offered to me 
cuz i dont...
feel like i dont deserve it
ppls affection....
makes me nervous... 
woah

just toss me out to sea...
it would probably be more efficent
cuz i have dreams of swimming with these fish
and all i do these days is reminisce

nervous [+metlast]

By @carlby & @horoshamusic
Production & additional vocals by Horosha

I swear that you don't have to go
I thought we could wait for the fireworks
I thought we could wait for the snow
To wash over Georgia and kill the hurt
I thought I could live in your arms
And spend every moment I had with you
Stay up all night with the stars
Confess all the faith that I had in you (I had in you)
Too late, I'm sure and lonely
Another night, another dream wasted on you
Just be here now against me
You know the words
So sing along for me, baby
For heaven's sake I know you're sorry
But you won't stop crying
This anniversary may never be the same
Inside I hope you know I'm dying
With my heart beside me
In shattered pieces that may never be replaced
And if I died right now you'd never be the same
I thought with a month of apart
Together would find us an opening
And moonlight would provide the spark
And that I would stumble across the key
Or break down the door to your heart
Forever could see us not you and me
And you'd help me out of the dark
And I'd give my heart as an offering, an offering
Too late, I'm sure and lonely
Another night, another dream wasted on you
Just be here now against me
You know the words
So sing along for me, baby
For heaven's sake I know you're sorry
But you won't stop crying
This anniversary may never be the same
Inside I hope you know I'm dying
With my heart beside me
In shattered pieces that may never be replaced
And if I died right now you'd never be the same
And I will always
Remember you as you are right now to me
And I will always
Remember you now
Remember you now
So sleep alone tonight
With no one here just by your side
Sleep alone tonight
How does he feel, how does he kiss? (Let's sleep alone tonight)
How does he taste while he's on your lips? (With no one here just by your side)
How does he feel, how does he kiss? (Sleep alone tonight)
How does he feel, how does he kiss? (Let's sleep alone tonight)
How does he taste while he's on your lips? (With no one here just by your side)
How does he feel, how does he kiss? (Sleep alone tonight)
How does he feel, how does he kiss? (Let's sleep alone tonight)
How does he taste while he's on your lips? (With no one here just by your side)
How does he feel, how does he kiss? (Sleep alone tonight)
I can't forget you (How does he feel, how does he kiss?)
I know you want me to want you, I want to (With no one here just by your side)
I can't forget you (How does he feel, how does he kiss?)
So when this is over don't blow your composure, baby
I can't forget you (Let's sleep alone tonight)
I know you want me to want you, I want to (With no one here just by your side)
I can't forget you (Sleep alone tonight)
So when this is over don't blow your composure, baby
I can't forget you
I know you want me to want you, I want to

Carlby - Three Cheers For Five Years by Mayday Parade

Sequel dual single to "From The Dead"!

Mixed and Mastered by ThoughtformWI

https://www.thoughtformwi.com/p33

cemeteryflowers

* https://soundcloud.com/cemeteryxflowers
* https://twitter.com/cemeterybb


Logan Kade

*https://www.beatstars.com/logankade/feed
* https://soundcloud.com/logankade
* https://twitter.com/LogankadeLK
* https://www.instagram.com/logankade.lk/



ThoughformWI

* https://www.thoughtformwi.com
* https://soundcloud.com/thoughtformwi
*https://twitter.com/thoughtformwi

Lyrics

Summer nights and drunken fights
Cutting off those toxic ties
Young and full of hell
Too many things to see
With the world at my feet
No regrets wet cigarrettes 
Smoke and drink away our cheques
I never thought that this could end
But on these memories i depend

Fog is lifting and i see clearly
Oh i hope how you can see me
My actions speaking loud
I hope i make you proud

Wasted nights and fluorescent lights 
I’m seeing the world now with my brand new eyes 
Have i been sleeping all day long
Tryna figure out where i went wrong
The clock is ticking, i did my time
The dust will settle, i’ll be fine
You’re out of reach i was too far gone
From the dead singing i don’t belong

Live for the moment until it’s gone
So you got things you can look back on
Hold on tight and don’t let go
Cause one day you’ll be the last to know

So here’s a toast to the living 
You don’t know the gift you’ve been given
Pour one out for the dead
And all the words left unsaid 
You never know when life will end
But you never know when it begins
Take everyday with what you got
And never think of what is not
So here’s a toast to the Living 
You don’t know the gift you’ve been given
Pour one out for the dead
And all the words left unsaid

P33 X cemeteryflowers - To The Living (prod. Logan Kade)

lyrics:

Lay me down I can take the pain
Beds of nails honestly I wait
Turn me on abuse me while I say
Baby I love u I would never stray
When hope is gone will will lead the way
Ive been fucked over and I pray
You dont take advantage of my state
When im gone ill protect u from the grave
Weekends I would spend stuck on you I regret
Still Id save for the death of me I feel u in my chest
Id give u my breath and
I would carry u on my back
But I settle for the worst fate yet
Alright
No matter my path I swear im alright
Right over my head she’s burning all ties
Thank me when im dead when I expire

Watch her Mutalate My open eyes
She Evisercates The last of us
Our human brains Could not comprehend the reasoning
But I await her reckoning
Request the help and ill spit in ur face
This does not feel how its suppose to feel
I feel lonely right now good time to break the seal
So I drink till im big numb
Its the only time I could say something with confidence
After that call I cant help but wonder how the morning went
Dont say sorry cause I know u’d cave and do it again
Id rather be alone than to make amends At this cross roads

Check the time Im sorry that im not sober tho
I put big bucks in this bottle so imma put that down my throat
Im tryna dodge this ash that’s falling I cant let it hit my clothes
Im not tryna fuck im just tryna get lit then go home
 I fell I left planet earth
I need to think with my feelings first
Part the crowd up cause I walk thru turnt
Take me on my word I cannot be burnt out right now
Cause I do not care if u were feeling me right now
Im in that zone u dont glue to me right now
Im thinking about the shit they put me thru before right now
Let me be the proof they will never choose for me right now

Watch her Mutalate My open eyes
She Evisercates The last of us
Our human brains Could not comprehend the reasoning
But I await her reckoning
Request the help and ill spit in ur face
This does not feel how its suppose to feel
I feel lonely right now good time to break the seal
So I drink till im big numb
Its the only time I could say something with confidence
After that call I cant help but wonder how the morning went
Dont say sorry cause I know u’d cave and do it again
Id rather be alone than to make amends At this cross roads

mutilate (branwen)

Thank you for listening <3 
Follow the bestie @imnotenvy ! <3 

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/5CO6e1i2Oaxb0ADNZb2U6x
Also up on iTunes and Apple Music!

Follow on Social Media!
I'm Geist
Instagram: www.instagram.com/hidinginplainview
Spotify: open.spotify.com/artist/3RBbPmeuOZUZK0xtR32fHy
Twitter: twitter.com/imgeist
Facebook: www.facebook.com/imgeist

NotEnvy
Instagram: www.instagram.com/reallynotenvy/
Spotify: open.spotify.com/artist/2FG8ej88kwm05ia80G5xgD

Lyrics:
// envy chorus
waking up i cant fall asleep like i used to
dead of night, feels so right
do you need me like i need you?
oh, shes so cold couldn't see through
please tell me that you care i need a breakthrough
i, i've been dead for a long long time and i
oh, i’m hanging by a thread if only you knew
you’ll change your mind see my eyes through a new hue

// geist verse 1
yeah too much thoughts in my head
of all the things that you’ve said
now there’s too much space on my bed
oh, another night in this dread

you showed all the signs, you only wanted to feel
why put my heart in the matter, if it wasn’t for real
i took all the time, i only wanted to heal
but constant reminders, got me stuck in ordeals

i wish you could see me how i see you
but love our eyes don’t see the same hue

// envy verse 2
hearts so twisted in my chest
guess its probably for the best
and my voice is so suppressed
after all that ive confessed
she still ate up all my time
such a classic paradigm
fuckin takes up my whole life
smile sharper than a knife
and i've been hurt for the last time
and all my friends keep begging me to switch sides
i’m afriad this pain will last a lifetime
i’m tired of being here i just wanna feel right

// envy x geist chorus
waking up i cant fall asleep like i used to
dead of night, feels so right
do you need me like i need you?
oh, shes so cold couldn't see through
please tell me that you care i need a breakthrough
i, i've been dead for a long long time and i
oh, i’m hanging by a thread if only you knew
you’ll change your mind see my eyes through a new hue

Spotify

i'm geist x notenvy - hue (prod. mcx)

Prod. Ryini Beats

https://open.spotify.com/album/6g99YaIkXS9B1iBeMWE0q2?si=f734407593734aa7

[Chorus]
How can I feel okay
When I am so afraid
That you come back and I think of you

And how can I get you back
When all I see is you with someone else that's not me

[Verse 1]
I don't wanna feel like I'm okay anymore
Writing bops when I'm sad
Feeling like I'm men in back
Trynna rap, i got no flow
And I dont wanna feel like this
Cuz I know that you dont really love me anymore

And how can I feel okay
When I am so afraid, that you'll come back and I think of you


It's hard to love me, yeah baby i know
I got no one that I call my own
Just need somebody to hold me more close

How can I feel okay
When I am so afraid
That you come back and I think of you

And how can I get you back
When all I see is you with someone else that's not me

how can i feel okay?

prod by me and soundcloud.com/cay2o

shoutout to soundcloud.com/heylog , soundcloud.com/nothomex , and soundcloud.com/lilskeleskrrt for hoppin on this with me they're all goated and rly cool ppl show love to them if u arent already

hope u all enjoy :)

lyrics:

me:
i dont think I can keep on livin like shit
close my eyes, feel the tension 
im stressin bout it 
cause no ones the same, and I cant feel nothin 
im feelin strange, but I cant care cus its nothin 

please dont leave yet, I can see you frown when im bleedin.
please ima be there, anytime u need me ill be close so u can see me 

heylog:
everyday i'm feelin awful
6 feet, horizontal
i recommend u give me space
cause i'm close to hostile
she compliment me on my eyes
said, "i love the way they sparkle"
i'm lookin like some trash
while she's looking like a model
i want you
ur irish changes from green to blue
i love you
but why u gotta leave so soon

not home. :
they told me im too gone 
green packed in a new bong
I told her put her bra on, I wont be here too long 
left your thraxx in a baggy
bad bitch ripped jeans, cincinnati 
im your boy so call me shaggy
at the house now her lips speakin nasty

skele:
go ahead and just leave now
won't be here when i break down
keep cutting me i wont feel it
but i love when you bring the knife out
n babe i think that u ruin me 
not numb but god how i wanna be
look in my eyes if you want i feel the blood in the back of my tongue
say love, 
i really think you're a bad one
i think you like how my hearts gone
i think you just wanna have fun 
play around till it kills me 
till i hang from my ceiling 
getting close to no feeling
will u stay here if im willing

ima be there

spotify

ima be there w/heylog, residential, & skele

PRODUCER: YUSEI
PRODUCER: YDD MATT
CO. PRODUCER: ENZO GRAN

TOKYO DREAMING

spotify out ☕
Artist: pon-marsh https://www.pixiv.net/en/artworks/54966231

Spotify! [Stream]

cupofcoffee

sweet ki$$

feat. 
@anthonysidoti
@imgeist

death wish

death wish feat. Anthony Sidoti & I'm Geist

Produced by @horoshavibes
Additional guitars by @sainttomorrow

LYRICS
Still fit into my varsity jacket
Class of 68’
But I don’t fit in in this place
Two kids on their bikes
Yell as they pass by
Hey man get the hell out of our way
I guess that some things never change

Always felt out of place but I’m
Outstretched
Hands across state lines
Can’t seem to recognize
My glory days
Until they pass me by

And when I’m weak
It’s you I wanna lean on
Remembering all the times I did you wrong
Thought you were right for me
Thought you were family
You were the only one 
To understand me
And now you’re gone

So it seems
That I’ll never get to tell you how much
The time we spent
Really meant to me

Faded memories
Brushed across these streets like fallen leaves
So silver screen
Like some cliché played out movie scene

I'm still standing on your front lawn

Listen on Spotify!

Class of '68 (Prod. Horosha)

Mixed and Mastered by @xo_jalen

Way too high offa love always

Go bump @xo_jalen that's my brother
I love you all, I hope you're enjoying your experience

Live ft. XO.JALEN (Prod. Sachy)

no one's understanding

Juno (Le play X Cøzybøy)

always strive to be better. don't do it for others, do it for yourself, because at the end of the day. when they're gone, and you're the only one left, it's up to you if you want to keep fighting.

Queen Of The King Sized Bed (Prod. by Taha)

[verse]
What if I still miss you
Would you come back?
I will give you my everything
Will you give it back to me (to me)
All the night long
Spending it together
Go along with my life
Would you make it even better? (even better)

[chorus]
I'm feeling so hopeless
Inside my room
Losing my mind 
What should I do?
Live my life
Or end it right now 
I can't feel anything
I'm getting every fucking day worse
Nobody next to me but the illusion of a friend
Nobody texts me, Nobody really cares
Maybe I should kill myself
Maybe this world is not meant for me

[Verse]
Lonely nights 
Talking to myself
Every time
Lying on my bed
I think about you
I think about us
Held to each other
We don't give a fuck about
What people think
What's going on

[chorus]
I'm feeling so hopeless
Inside my room
Losing my mind
What should I do?
Live my life
Or end it right now
I can't feel anything
I'm getting every fucking day worse
Nobody next to me but the illusion of a friend
Nobody texts me, Nobody really cares
Maybe I should kill myself
Maybe this world is not meant for me

STREAM

Hopeless [prod. micco]

"running back to u.."

I DO NOT OWN THE VOCALS
The Kid Laroi. Too Much With Drums produced by myself
Original Song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QnBGKfMQr2Q

Lease Beats: https://zainibeats.beatstars.com/

The Kid LAROI - Too Much (With Drums) (prod. Zaini)

pls check out the actual track and follow luvlxckdown <333

https://soundcloud.com/luvlxckdown

luvlxckdown - cant believe im gone (remix) w/ poorbryan [northeast lights x odece]

prod. Morin x Miracle

Lyrics:
[hook]
Got a gun to my head
Keep my eyes close
Take a breath
Last time they will see me alive
People crying at your funeral but just because
Everybody care about you just the day you die 
x2

[verse]
Till the day you die
You will be alone
With the hug of the drugs
Making you feel loved
Making you feel something
But you know that's nothing
Cause those feelings have no meaning
Bottle up the screams in a heartache
Nobody helps they only care about their own sake
You're a prey in a world of vultures
Feeling hopeless and seeing no future

[hook]
Got a gun to my head
Keep my eyes close
Take a breath
Last time they will see me alive
People crying at your funeral but just because
Everybody care about you just the day you die 
x2

MUSIC VIDEO

Last Day [prod. Morin x Miracle]

lyrics:
cuz i been down bad 
i been lonely 
why does everybody think they know me
all these fucking thoughts and i been thinking that im useless
dressed up in designer and i still feel like im worthless
got lost in the wake 
i feel im deserted 
u left as of late 
i feel i deserve this
caught up in these days 
dont know if its worth it
im stuck in my ways 
wont open the curtains
oh my god its the same
rip me down to the core 
swear to god i wont change 
let the tears hit the floor 

Wat3r:
watching all the things i care about fall by the wayside
said i wouldnt care about this life and i should take mine 
(i should take mine)
you always say it too
but you dont know 
you could never understand 
just go home 
you’re so fuckin selfish and i hope one day you wake up 
vanity and greed that you hide behind all your makeup 
(fuckin worthless)
and its like you never shut up 
ruined everything i loved and its fucked up 


follow @yungxwater <3333

damn that's crazy, anyways i'm sad w/ 💕Wat3r💕 (prod. discent)

prod. Beverly Valley (pierce the vegan on youtube)

im low on gas and u need a jacket (pierce the vegan)

Lyrics:

[hook]
I've been longing for your lips to kiss mine
I've been longing for your heart to be mine
I've been longing to get you closer
Give you thousand roses
Two friends, too friends
Now I'm lost hey 
You took my broken heart
And then you threw it away
Much pain girl, when you want me to stay
Give you all my love, reject me anyway

[verse]
Reject me in any way
I don't think that I can stand another day
Always hanging with another one that is never me
I've been trying to become the way you  want me to be
I've been trying to give you my all
But I know it's never enough
I love you, you hate me
I want you, you blame me 
No, No, I can live no more
No, Girl without your love

[hook]
I've been longing for your lips to kiss mine
I've been longing for your heart to be mine
I've been longing to get you closer
Give you thousand roses
Two friends, too friends
Now I'm lost hey 
You took my broken heart
And then you threw it away
Much pain girl, when you want me to stay
Give you all my love, reject me anyway

Mine [prod. Jody & Jkei]

it gets hard to breathe
https://soundcloud.com/crackxlizard
https://soundcloud.com/hellahaunted
mastered by: https://soundcloud.com/trechorboy


so is he everything
wanna fall in love
get a wedding ring
taking back all the memories you got from me 
when i look at the past yeah, it gets hard to breathe
i bet he's giving you everything
it's killing me

wake up, i don't wanna wake up 
don't wanna live another day feeling the fake love
and they like wait up, i don't wanna wait up
i keep breaking apart
i'll take the pain, love

do you treat him like me now
say he's the worst now
sending heart eyes while he's falling asleep now

i don't wanna wait till i break down
haunt me like a ghost until i'm bringing the knife out

i bet he's giving you everything, it's killing me (prod. cracklizard & caspr)

Carlby is an alternative pop artist from the Midwest. Working alongside producer, @horoshavibes, his music is a blend of pop, emo rock and hip-hop.

Contact - carlbymusic.com/contact