Star

Today, I realized I've been letting myself down.

Jan 17 (Excuses)

written by Lxst Boy, Cavasoul, and soku
produced by Riddiman and oldboyy
mixed and mastered by Lxst Boy
cover art by futoh
out on all platforms

-lyrics-
(Hook: Lxst Boy)
finish up my homework then I write another song
why does everybody hate me I swear that I did nothing wrong
got like 20 messages everytime I check my phone
but i will never answer them, I hate this feeling its getting old

(Verse 1: Lxst Boy)
try to tell me that im not ok
but cant you see the smile thats plastered on my face
like come over sometime and find me dead at my place
im sipping on this coffee praying that this pain would go away
the solitude is nice but I'm sick of being alone
walked a million miles on a path they call the lonely road
pondering my consciences, the deepest part of my soul
but hey im just a kid so what do i really know

(Hook)

(Verse 2: Cavasoul)
i hate this feeling, feeling horrible
is getting old
im losing meaning, meaning everything is seeming horrible
I'm conceited, seated at a table undesirable
I know that she could ruin me because shes so adorable
I fall asleep and I see images of violence
I see a side of me incite a riot
swear my head is never quiet
I'm craving death, it tries to overtake my fear of dying
I'll just go to bed so hopefully I can stop fucking crying
i hate this feeling that I feel whenever I open up my eyes
and now my lungs have started hurting as result from getting high
it gets tiring when you always just feel like you could die
now I'm breaking down again, just for today is the third time

(Hook)

(Verse 3: soku)
it's getting old, I'm growing old and I don't know if i could stay
every time you look my way I just turn and look away
I don't know if I could stay in this place
with this feeling that I hate and it won't go away yeah
yeah my voice is sounding stupid and my grades are going down
everybody else around hating me I feel the frown
on my face yeah I'm a waste yeah
telling everyone I might just take a break yeah
I finish up my homework then I go and cry alone
everybody hating me  and so I walk the lonely road
got like 20 messages every time i check my phone 
but that's not quite reality I hate this feeling it's getting old

(Hook)

@cavasoul
@soku_music
@prodriddiman

S T R E A M

i hate this feeling w/ cavasoul & soku (riddiman x oldboyy)

half of my life been apologies
whether it’s earned or not
i know the people that stay in my life are the only ones that i want
man i’m so sick of apologies
the feeling of letting you down
the feeling that i’ll never rest even the day that i lay in the ground
i’m sorry
i’m sorry
i’m starting to lose composure
i’m trying to write
but the tears in my eyes
make it harder to see what i’m holding
i’m never sober
not that i wanna be
i never drink i just smoke marijuana tree
i just kill my emotion 

what am i hoping for
maybe an open door
a sign
an answer or something
i’m always fine and then i’m not
i never know when it’s coming
i’m out of touch with my senses
i got mistakes that replay in my mind
filled with anxiety built around time it don’t matter the tenses
it don’t matter the tenses
whether it’s past present or future i see it ending
i feel stupid
talk to my therapist you never cared n shit
i was the one that was there n shit
i never thought i could talk because pointing out flaws always felt like a heresy

half of my life been apologies
whether it’s earned or not
i know the people that stay in my life are the only ones that i want
man i’m so sick of apologies
the feeling of letting you down
the feeling that i’ll never rest even the day that i lay in the ground
i’m sorry
i’m sorry
i’m starting to lose composure
i’m trying to write
but the tears in my eyes
make it harder to see what i’m holding
i’m never sober
not that i wanna be
i never drink i just smoke marijuana tree
i just kill my emotion 

when i blow up
when this shit done
imma be myself
not for anyone
but that old me
that you knew way back
well he not the same
now he bout this cash
imma bring it back
only for my fam
if you used to know me
then you just a fan
i don’t give a fuck
this ain’t no luck
i put in the work to get out the mud
i don’t give a fuck what you think
i can’t put my mind to it if i ain’t making bands with it
not too long fore i look at my wrist and diamonds dance with it
i been way too modest now i’m just being honest
pay attention to the profit
and now my new girl a goddess

my new girl a goddess
i feel like i'm dying
i feel like i'm dying

half of my life been apologies
whether it’s earned or not
i know the people that stay in my life are the only ones that i want
man i’m so sick of apologies
the feeling of letting you down
the feeling that i’ll never rest even the day that i lay in the ground
i’m sorry
i’m sorry
i’m starting to lose composure
i’m trying to write
but the tears in my eyes
make it harder to see what i’m holding
i’m never sober
not that i wanna be
i never drink i just smoke marijuana tree
i just kill my emotion

apologies (prod. jabarionthebeat x shah x jelly x alek)

Im Losing It w/Matego (prod. moon)

new song with Lxst Boy
check him out - https://soundcloud.com/lxstboymusic

@TheMarkerFlipper x @Lxst Boy - just the two of us (prod. Con)

Produced by: Gio
Engineered by: Gio
Written and performed by: Gio

Lyrics:

(Chorus)

Breath, slow down
It’s only one road you can go down
Only one path you can take now 
Like breathe, oh wow
Finally see the light, watch it go down
Friday night dancin in the sun now 

(Verse 1)

I feel stuck in my awareness, I’m not tryna sound arrogant 
It’s just that I feel like there’s so much goin’ on 
around me 
They expect me to be hard as iron, and that’s word to robert downey 
Watchin’ it slowly surround me, everything is cloudy

I look deep into the mirror
And I see me frowning 
I wish everything was clearer
So the rain won’t fuckin drown me
Started pickin up the slack 
For all the people that’s around me 
Started pickin up the pieces
So they’re not upset like I be

And maybe that’s the real issue
Need to do it for myself and not because I fuckin’ miss you 
If I get back in that story I’m gon’ need a fuckin tissue
Hopefully you understand why I no longer fuckin need you

Sorry everybody for my language 
Lately I’ve been so upset that i start causin hella damage
I’m not violent, just depressed and it’s a never-ending cycle
I just hope that I can be at peace when my eyes close 

(Chorus)

Breath, slow down
It’s only one road you can go down
Only one path you can take now 
Like breathe, oh wow
Finally see the light, watch it go down
Friday night dancin in the sun now 

(Verse 2)

See nowadays I don’t even worry ‘bout what
could’ve been
It’s taken me so long to finally figure out where I fit  in
They wanna smoke up and get high and wanna be a kid
I can’t even blame ‘em cause nobody listens 

No one hears me, hears you
Here is me, what am I supposed to do 
I don’t get no fuckin sleep
What the fuck I’m goin through 
Tell me, I need answers please
what the fuck I’m goin through 
Tell me, tell me, honestly 

“Just, tell me what’s wrong
I wish that you would talk to me”
I said you better go home
I know you’d rather try to help because that’s better for your conscience
Bur if I’m being honest
I’d rather you feel guilty
Than talk about what I’m lost in
Than talk about my nonsense
I just need to process
the concept I’ve forgotten

Lately I’ve been locked in
Or maybe just a bad friend
Depends on where you’re watchin
Maybe I should stop and -

(Chorus)

Breath, slow down
It’s only one road you can go down
Only one path you can take now 
Like breathe, (woo), oh wow
Finally see the light, watch it go down
Friday night dancin in the sun now

When do we settle?

on Spotify!

Breathe, slow down

written by Lxst Boy
produced by spencer hunt
mixed and mastered by Lxst Boy

-lyrics-
(Verse)
take me back to the old days
don't get no wiser in my old age
fall down then melt like a snowflake
I'm never fine but that's ok
yeah lay me down when I'm at peace
I cant sleep, you haunt my dreams
I'm not that fun whenever I drink
but it helps write songs so I can sing
like what, taking it back
all of the lies, I'm taking them back
what was the price of hating me back?
the look in your eyes says you don't mean that
like how did you leave like that?
taking my heart making it relapse
yell at me but I'm not your dad
so I don't really care if you hate these tracks
you never cared to listen

(Break)

(Refrain)
take my soul, I
don't care baby
break my bones, I'm
never resting
x6

i stopped caring a really, really long time ago (spencer hunt)

NVR/MND x Thomas Reid x Nü - Something's Not Right

this song means a lot to me,  so hope yall enjoy<3
also last release for a while since ill be super busy
love yall<3

written and performed by: @futoh
mix and mastered by: @futoh
produced by: @boyfifty

lyrics:
i didnt care, you were showing off,
yea no wonder we never blasted off,
you went with him with no care in the world,
but didnt look back to see what had unfurled,
dont look at me with those eyes and those curls,
you were my world,
but now i sit back cause i know that its over,
and through it all, yea i kept my composure,
tried so hard just to work it out, yea,
but you didnt want that,
you needed a reason to leave cause i wasnt special to you, and you got that,
but now that you want that,
what others cant give you,
but hey i was on that,
i gave you the world when you would wake up, 
dont say you forgot that,

(vocalize)

i didnt care, you were showing off,
but now it has come back to haunt me,
wish i could sleep with the ceiling off,
instead the memories surround me,
make it so hard to breath,
my sweat is soaking my sleeve,
i wont lose the fight to my conscious,
the next time she ups and leaves,
beat myself up for no reason,
i know im worth something,
but when im misused i just cant see it,
think im worth nothing,
you used to say i was pure gold,
but now where are you that ive been told,
that you didnt care a bit,
so ill find somewhere my heart will fit

no wonder (prod. boyfifty)

find a new hue (prod. jxsie beats)

my main ig has been hacked. new ig @imstillawakeidiot

apologies (prod. jabarionthebeat x shah x jelly x alek)

cavasoul

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