the song the hook is  from is me and my ex's song so this kills me on the inside 💔💔 still really good though

bro your mixing has improved so much! amazing

Bruuuh, i got a song over the same beat, it just aint out yet 🤣
This shit fire bro ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️

Star

written by Lxst Boy, Cavasoul, and soku
produced by Riddiman and oldboyy
mixed and mastered by Lxst Boy
cover art by futoh
out on all platforms

-lyrics-
(Hook: Lxst Boy)
finish up my homework then I write another song
why does everybody hate me I swear that I did nothing wrong
got like 20 messages everytime I check my phone
but i will never answer them, I hate this feeling its getting old

(Verse 1: Lxst Boy)
try to tell me that im not ok
but cant you see the smile thats plastered on my face
like come over sometime and find me dead at my place
im sipping on this coffee praying that this pain would go away
the solitude is nice but I'm sick of being alone
walked a million miles on a path they call the lonely road
pondering my consciences, the deepest part of my soul
but hey im just a kid so what do i really know

(Hook)

(Verse 2: Cavasoul)
i hate this feeling, feeling horrible
is getting old
im losing meaning, meaning everything is seeming horrible
I'm conceited, seated at a table undesirable
I know that she could ruin me because shes so adorable
I fall asleep and I see images of violence
I see a side of me incite a riot
swear my head is never quiet
I'm craving death, it tries to overtake my fear of dying
I'll just go to bed so hopefully I can stop fucking crying
i hate this feeling that I feel whenever I open up my eyes
and now my lungs have started hurting as result from getting high
it gets tiring when you always just feel like you could die
now I'm breaking down again, just for today is the third time

(Hook)

(Verse 3: soku)
it's getting old, I'm growing old and I don't know if i could stay
every time you look my way I just turn and look away
I don't know if I could stay in this place
with this feeling that I hate and it won't go away yeah
yeah my voice is sounding stupid and my grades are going down
everybody else around hating me I feel the frown
on my face yeah I'm a waste yeah
telling everyone I might just take a break yeah
I finish up my homework then I go and cry alone
everybody hating me  and so I walk the lonely road
got like 20 messages every time i check my phone 
but that's not quite reality I hate this feeling it's getting old

(Hook)

@cavasoul
@soku_music
@prodriddiman

S T R E A M

i hate this feeling w/ cavasoul & soku (riddiman x oldboyy)

half of my life been apologies
whether it’s earned or not
i know the people that stay in my life are the only ones that i want
man i’m so sick of apologies
the feeling of letting you down
the feeling that i’ll never rest even the day that i lay in the ground
i’m sorry
i’m sorry
i’m starting to lose composure
i’m trying to write
but the tears in my eyes
make it harder to see what i’m holding
i’m never sober
not that i wanna be
i never drink i just smoke marijuana tree
i just kill my emotion 

what am i hoping for
maybe an open door
a sign
an answer or something
i’m always fine and then i’m not
i never know when it’s coming
i’m out of touch with my senses
i got mistakes that replay in my mind
filled with anxiety built around time it don’t matter the tenses
it don’t matter the tenses
whether it’s past present or future i see it ending
i feel stupid
talk to my therapist you never cared n shit
i was the one that was there n shit
i never thought i could talk because pointing out flaws always felt like a heresy

half of my life been apologies
whether it’s earned or not
i know the people that stay in my life are the only ones that i want
man i’m so sick of apologies
the feeling of letting you down
the feeling that i’ll never rest even the day that i lay in the ground
i’m sorry
i’m sorry
i’m starting to lose composure
i’m trying to write
but the tears in my eyes
make it harder to see what i’m holding
i’m never sober
not that i wanna be
i never drink i just smoke marijuana tree
i just kill my emotion 

when i blow up
when this shit done
imma be myself
not for anyone
but that old me
that you knew way back
well he not the same
now he bout this cash
imma bring it back
only for my fam
if you used to know me
then you just a fan
i don’t give a fuck
this ain’t no luck
i put in the work to get out the mud
i don’t give a fuck what you think
i can’t put my mind to it if i ain’t making bands with it
not too long fore i look at my wrist and diamonds dance with it
i been way too modest now i’m just being honest
pay attention to the profit
and now my new girl a goddess

my new girl a goddess
i feel like i'm dying
i feel like i'm dying

half of my life been apologies
whether it’s earned or not
i know the people that stay in my life are the only ones that i want
man i’m so sick of apologies
the feeling of letting you down
the feeling that i’ll never rest even the day that i lay in the ground
i’m sorry
i’m sorry
i’m starting to lose composure
i’m trying to write
but the tears in my eyes
make it harder to see what i’m holding
i’m never sober
not that i wanna be
i never drink i just smoke marijuana tree
i just kill my emotion

apologies (prod. jabarionthebeat x shah x jelly x alek)

Lyrics

What do I do when you leave me here bleeding
How do I cope when my pasts not receding
How can I start to rebuild up my heart when you said to my face I’m a joke and your leaving

What do I do when you leave me alone
What do I do when you blow up my phone
How i text back when I know all the facts 
And You put up an act cause I know bout the cheating

Now your screaming that I hate you I hate you
No one really wants to date you yeah date you
Now Im hesitant to pick up the pencil 
Cause I’ve lost all the people that I relate to

Now your screaming that I hate you I hate you
No one really wants to date you yeah date you
Now Im hesitant to pick up the pencil 
Cause I’ve lost all the people that I relate to

Forget the times when you gave me a meaning
Fell for your laugh fuck I fell for your breathing
Then you switched up like leaves in the seasons
Running away and I rot into pieces
Fuck with my mental not feeling enough
Feeling the pain and I’m taking a puff
Playing the victim like what have I done
I see through the lies I see through the bluffs

I’m hating my person
Thinking bout life and I guess I deserved it
Could have been better I was just a burden
Wouldn’t care right now even if the world end
World end 
World end
thinking right now and I’m wishing the world end
And if it did I would save you a spot yeah you hurt me a lot but your my favorite person

You were there for me so why did you lie
I fucking loved you and I felt alive
My only friend and you stuck at my side
But I guess that’s convenient cause you stuck a knife
And I fell for you once nah I fell for you twice
But I fell to the bottom it’s dark there’s no light
And I know I sound petty I don’t wanna die
But just thinking of you I don’t wanna live life

What do I do when you leave me here bleeding
How do I cope when my pasts not receding
How can I start to rebuild up my heart when you said to my face I’m a joke and your leaving

What do I do when you leave me alone
What do I do when you blow up my phone
How i text back when I know all the facts 
And You put up an act cause I know bout the cheating

Now your screaming that I hate you I hate you
No one really wants to date you yeah date you
Now Im hesitant to pick up the pencil 
Cause I’ve lost all the people that I relate to

Now your screaming that I hate you I hate you
No one really wants to date you yeah date you
Now Im hesitant to pick up the pencil 
Cause I’ve lost all the people that I relate to

Cognitive Distortion (prod. tennis player)

Im Losing It w/Matego (prod. moon)

written by Lxst Boy & Giovanni
produced by Boyfifty & Ayleen Valentine 
mixed and mastered by Giovanni
out on all platforms

thanks for all the support on the old version 💙
shoutout Matthias, love u bro

-lyrics-
(Hook: Ayleen Valentine)
I'm sorry that I let you down
it's probably cause I sleep too much
and every time that you're around
there's always something wrong

(Verse 1: Lxst Boy)
late nights and talks with my conscience
lately i been feeling nauseous
I write songs so call me off topic
lowkey wanna tell them to stop it
I'll just get walked on
I'm feeling that way like non-stop
I'm sorry I'm an outcast wait no I'm not
but I let you down whenever I talk
I'm feeling like a 9tails knockoff
I came from the sewers then the time stopped
im running around in circles in my thoughts
the clock winding down, hear the tick tock
when I'm locked in my room
I'm feeling the tension
record at my desk
these lyrics unscripted
writing these songs
that you'll never listen
cause you never cared
I'm a solo mission woah
uh I wanna talk
without feeling guilty
I need a shower
you making me filthy
blood stains the wall
you know that you killed me
its cold in my room
and at night it gets chilly
I wanna talk
but every time I do my heartstrings in a knot
in getting tired of writing these songs
and day by day 
you wouldn't tell me what's wrong
yeah

(Hook: Ayleen Valentine)
 
(Verse 2: Giovanni)
where am i goin, what do i got 
i feel so lonely, everyone stop
want you to hold me, damn i forgot 
what it was like, i feel distraught 
i let you down and watched you depart
now everything’s loud and i’m caught in the dark
like i’m in the dirt, buried with the worms 
and that is the funniest fuckin part
cause what did we say together
all of those times, that you let me down
tell the words that we sang together
everything’s fine, we’ll be alright 
we’ll fuckin stand in the rain together 
i don’t mean to cry, but why did you lie
remind me again why stayed together 

(Hook: Ayleen Valentine)

Let You Down w/ Giovanni & Ayleen Valentine (boyfifty)

feature: matego // produced by: caps ctrl & xsus

my last goodbye w/ matego (Caps Ctrl & Xsus)

i ripped out the pages that reminded me of her
i know that i hate myself don’t need to see the words
i remember i had blamed myself for every time she hurt herself
it happened with the first but with the second it was worse
the deeper cut 
my feet are stuck and sink into the earth
i’ll never be good enough that’s something i have learned
crazy how the coldest person left me with these burns
and then in my time to heal it’s like there’s people taking turns
just to slow down my progress
i convinced myself that everybody is dishonest
i am no exception 
broken hearts and broken promises
follow me
traumatic memories are always haunting me
don’t pick up the blame to pour it onto me
like i always do
i’m not mad at you
because i been moving on and showing gratitude
i been smoking tryna fix my shitty attitude
numbing any feeling in my body through and through
and my memories are lacking any detail so i know that it’s working
i got a woman that i love and treats me better for certain
but the anticipation of finding what’s under the surface
it fucking kills me
but more because she doesn’t deserve it

so love me
tell me that i’m pretty know i’m needy but i need it cause i feel so god damn ugly
i hate the attention
then as soon as it is gone i feel like not a single person cares about me
i fucking hate the way that i ruin everything
cause i can’t control my anxiety
i’m selfish but i’d do anything that you need me to oh the irony

oh the irony
oh the irony
oh the irony i wanna live with you
but will you die with me
i spend this time with you and if it’s wasted
then that’s fine with me
i wanna cherish it
i wanted you to know that you can cry to me
and i hope you stay for a little while take your time to leave
oh the irony i wanna live with you
but will you die with me
(will you die with me)
i spend this time with you and if it’s wasted
then that’s fine with me
(that's fine with me)
i wanna cherish it
i wanted you to know that you can cry to me
and i hope you stay for a little while take your time to leave

so love me
tell me that i’m pretty know i’m needy but i need it cause i feel so god damn ugly
i hate the attention
then as soon as it is gone i feel like not a single person cares about me
i fucking hate the way that i ruin everything
cause i can’t control my anxiety
i’m selfish but i’d do anything that you need me to oh the irony

please love me, i’m trying my hardest (prod. 4lexf)

Rxseboy - Not Alright

not official, just a remix, i really loved this song that rxse made and 
i really wanted to make som to it

official song https://soundcloud.com/feelingmysorrow/two-way-street

@TheMarkerFlipper x @Sorrow - two way street (prod. underwood)

this song means a lot to me,  so hope yall enjoy<3
also last release for a while since ill be super busy
love yall<3

written and performed by: @futoh
mix and mastered by: @futoh
produced by: @boyfifty

lyrics:
i didnt care, you were showing off,
yea no wonder we never blasted off,
you went with him with no care in the world,
but didnt look back to see what had unfurled,
dont look at me with those eyes and those curls,
you were my world,
but now i sit back cause i know that its over,
and through it all, yea i kept my composure,
tried so hard just to work it out, yea,
but you didnt want that,
you needed a reason to leave cause i wasnt special to you, and you got that,
but now that you want that,
what others cant give you,
but hey i was on that,
i gave you the world when you would wake up, 
dont say you forgot that,

(vocalize)

i didnt care, you were showing off,
but now it has come back to haunt me,
wish i could sleep with the ceiling off,
instead the memories surround me,
make it so hard to breath,
my sweat is soaking my sleeve,
i wont lose the fight to my conscious,
the next time she ups and leaves,
beat myself up for no reason,
i know im worth something,
but when im misused i just cant see it,
think im worth nothing,
you used to say i was pure gold,
but now where are you that ive been told,
that you didnt care a bit,
so ill find somewhere my heart will fit

no wonder (prod. boyfifty)

the breeze will blow
and i will go with it.

no wonder (prod. boyfifty)

futoh

Recent comments

tsuki kaneki

aime

gxthic.

Swittch

Related tracks