might end myself this halloween

But That's Just A Dream

stāysæf.

(have you ever had, like, a serious relationship?)
i'll miss her
she means a lot to me
pretty cute
she was, but she wasn't
and i was sad 
'cause i know she won't feel it
kickin' rocks, from school
to my bedroom

damn mean girl
she's still hooking up
in front of my face
i don't know why she does it
it's not my fault
she's good at lying
to pretend
that girl’s got talent

won't miss her
she meant a lot to me
pretty cruel
for now and forever
and i was sad 
'cause i know she won't change it
but i don't care
go forward 'n go forever
(eww, i'm sorry i asked)

that girl kills my mood

No one will ever find me
8x
Im running from myself
too scared to face it
All of the monsters
Hid in my basement
I cannot face it
So i just erase it
Nothing can hurt me
If it never existed
I love your face and
I love your essence
You are so precious
Are you a saint sent?
Im just a devil
Who use to be up in heaven
But my wings were torn
And i was thrown to the floor
Left to scorn all my pain was ignored
No one will ever find me
No one will ever find me
Find me from where im hiding
I hope that you can find me
Find things in me that are good
Figure out im misunderstood
I just wanna be good
I know that you are good
You make me feel so good
Finally feel understood
By someone who is so good
I wanna treat you so good
Make you forget all the things
That make you think your no good
You make me wanna be
The best person i can be
I hope you can see clearly
How much that you mean to me
You and me at the movies
We got blue and red slooshies

Meaning
“No one will ever find me” (8x)
	•	Feels like both a curse and a wish.
	•	You’re hiding on purpose but also deeply hoping someone comes looking.

⸻

“I’m running from myself / Too scared to face it”
	•	Self-avoidance. Trauma. Denial. afraid of what’s inside your own head 

“All of the monsters / Hid in my basement”
	 metaphor. The subconscious (“basement”) holding fears and past pain.

⸻

“I cannot face it / So I just erase it / Nothing can hurt me / If it never existed”
	•	logic of dissociation. numbs their pain or rewrites their own memories to survive.

⸻

“I love your face and / I love your essence / You are so precious / Are you a saint sent?”
	•	Soft transition from self pain to anothers light. Romantic, admiring — reverent.
⸻

“I’m just a devil / Who used to be up in heaven”
	•	metaphor. Self-blame, fall-from-grace theme. like you were once good, pure — but something made you fall.
	•	trauma, depression, being punished for something that was never meant to happen.

“But my wings were torn / And I was thrown to the floor”
	•	betrayal, feeling discarded. The idea of being punished for existing authentically.

“Left to scorn / All my pain was ignored”
	•	rage mixed with grief. Like: “They hated me for hurting, then ignored the pain they caused.”

⸻

“Find me from where I’m hiding / I hope that you can find me”
	•	original chorus — but now like a plea instead of a mantra.
	•	quietly hoping someone sees through the hiding.

⸻

“Find things in me that are good / Figure out I’m misunderstood / I just wanna be good”
	•	inner child lines. tender. Vulnerable. 
“Please see the soft parts inside the armor. Please know I’m trying.”

⸻

“I know that you are good / You make me feel so good / Finally feel understood”
	•	turning point. Finding safety in another, helping you forgive yourself.

⸻

“You and me at the movies / We got blue and red slooshies / Our tongues are purple / And we didn’t even watch the movie”
	— of a pure, simple moment.
	•	this person gives you something soft and human, a sense of bittersweet hope

im tired of this (prod by sickboi)

Googl3sex

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