Departures

Trapped

Flight Mode

Drowning (feat. Teorstan)

Drowning feat. Teorstan

Signs

Distant

Coasting (feat. Fletcher  James)

Coasting feat. Fletcher, James

Trust

Lyrics video out now: https://youtu.be/PEyuo49yeno

------

released for World Mental Health Day

written when I was at my lowest
released when I'm at the best I've been in as long as I can remember

mental health is a universal human right.
there is strength in vulnerability.
there is always someone to talk to.
you are worth talking about.

resources:
www.findahelpline.com
www.throughlinecare.com

Album artwork: BIG MOTH (https://instagram.com/bigmothonline)
P-line: ℗ NTHN
C-line: © NTHN

The Meaning

artwork by BIG MOTH
(@BIGMOTHONLINE on IG)

Lyrics:

Don't leave me alone
Don't leave me alone

Been this way for a long time
Been a while since I felt fine
Still tryna keep myself in line
And I’m still fighting with my own mind
And I've come long way, believe me
But sometimes it's deceiving
Don't wanna go back to the old me
But ignoring the signs isn't easy
Some days I wake up with a nosebleed
Body aches, feeling so weak
Makes me only wanna sleep in
Instead, I'm trying to find the meaning

I’m looking for reasons to keep hope
I’m looking for reasons to stay in control
Just don't leave me alone
Don't leave me alone

Don't leave me alone
Don't leave me alone (yeah, yeah)

Friends ask if I'm doing okay
But sometimes I don't know what to say
When thoughts of the night help me get me through the day
But nightmares got me lying awake
And it's getting far too familiar
Ask myself "what am I doing here?"
Cause I'm never thinking ‘bout giving up
But this routine's been testing my resilience
So I pick myself up again just like before
Telling myself that there's gotta be more
More to this life than just repetition
I don't wanna exist, wanna feel like I'm living
So gimme a reason to keep hope
Gimme a reason to stay in control
Just don't leave me alone
Don't leave me alone

Don't leave me alone
Don't leave me alone

Don't Leave Me Alone

Lyrics video: https://youtu.be/bBhw94HhJCc

Artwork by BIG MOTH
(@bigmothonline on IG)

Lyrics:
Tell me where did you go?
I don't wanna be strangers
We used to be so close
(Can we go back to before?)

Feels so long ago
It's like you're a stranger
I miss the person that I used to know

What changed? Can we go back to basics?
Tell me, how's your day been? Where've you been lately?
Never see you around, hope you're doing okay
Cause it's been so long since our last conversation 

Feels like we only ever talk on occasions
We say we need to make plans but we never arrange them
Days go by, no explanation 
And then it's
No reply and we go back to strangers


Tell me where did you go?
I don't wanna be strangers
We used to be so close
(I don't know if we can go back to before)

Feels so long ago
It's like you're a stranger
I miss the person that I used to know

Strangers

Running

Sometimes / Lost

Ground Control

Riverside

Fallen Leaves

Missing (feat. Kerem Goral)

Home

Touchdown

Searching

Here (feat. Teorstan)

Suitcase

Contact

Duty Free (feat. M477X)

Continental

Out of Reach

Boarding Call

Lyrics:

Yeah, it's days like these, I'm moving with no contemplation
It's days like these, probably welcome the confrontation
It's days like these
It's days like these

Yeah, it's days like these, that I can never get away from
It's days like these, I know I'll never escape from
It's days like these
It's days like these

Trying to make the most of the life I was given
Trying to do the best with this life while I'm living
Good days, bad days, hard to tell the difference
How'd I get here, was it even my decision?
Feeling like I'm cruising but I'm fighting for control
Cause I don't wanna lose it all and crash like before
Can't go back to before, when I couldn't find a purpose
I know I seem alright but it's only on the surface

Yeah, it's days like these, I'm moving with no contemplation
It's days like these, probably welcome the confrontation
It's days like these
It's days like these

Yeah, it's days like these, that I can never get away from
It's days like these, I know I'll never escape from
It's days like these
It's days like these

But I hate when it's controlling me
And when it takes a hold of me
Although I seem okay the feeling's probably hanging over me
I said it all before, I'm not new to this
It's been years now, I'm far too used to this
Cause I've been holding out for change but I fear it's neverending
Been this way for years, still, I can't comprehend it
Wanna make the most of my time, so I spend it
Trying not to show it but today I'm not pretending

Cause it's days like these, I'm moving with no contemplation
It's days like these, probably welcome the confrontation
It's days like these
It's days like these

Yeah it's days like these, that I can never get away from
It's days like these, I know I'll never escape from
It's days like these
It's days like these

2024 eighteenSAINT / Clouded North

Days Like These

Stream here:
https://nthn-evergreen.sbmt.to/

Lyrics:

I've been trying to learn to put myself first
But it's kinda hard to do without the self-worth
Never felt deserving so it's taking some time
It's a journey in itself, learning how to live with my mind

Gotta make it out the other side
No matter the cost
I spend a lot of days feeling like I'm watching the clock
I know sometimes I get a little lost
But I'm still the same person that I ever was

And I'm doing way better now than I've ever been
Never keep me down
Stick around like I'm evergreen
Happiness has never been something I could depend on
So I make the most of every moment cause I know it might end

In the back of my mind, I wonder if I need some therapy
But that's just a side of myself I don't think I'm prepared to see
So I just write the way I feel and hope it heals me
Now there's thousands of people round world who know the real me

That I'll probably never see but that don't make a difference
We got a lot in common if you feel it when you listen
And I'm just being honest cause there's nothing to romanticise
Writing's just my way of getting by

When my mind's Clouded
Find me in the North with my close ones round me
Keep a small circle, I ain't trying to be surrounded
Ain't looking for fame, I'm just trying to stay grounded
Still, I wanna prove wrong anyone who ever doubted

2024 eighteenSAINT / Clouded North

Evergreen

Lyrics:

I don't have to remember cause it's still my everyday
Living with the same problems that I thought would fade away
Self destruction on my mind
Self esteem is hard to find
Self reflection seems to be my only way of getting by
I ain't even chasing highs, keep my expectations low
As my mind, trying to fight the feelings as they come and go
See the signs of decline but I never let them show
Cause now it's all that I know
It's all that I know 


Tell me what my future holds
If this is becoming all that I know
Help me not to lose my hope
Cause this is becoming all that I know 


Seems to be my affliction has become my addiction 
Been a while since I gave in but my time is still wasted
Contemplating if it really ever solved anything
Or if I was just distracted by the pain that it brings
Ain't ashamed to admit that it remains how I think
But even if I had the choice I wouldn't change anything
I'm still the same as I was, only difference is
I'm in control
Cause now it's all that I know
It's all that I know


Tell me what my future holds
If this is becoming all that I know
Help me not to lose my hope
Cause this is becoming all that I know

2024 eighteenSAINT / Clouded North

All That I Know (Alt Version)

All That I Know

Lyrics:

I don't have to remember cause it's still my everyday
Living with the same problems that I thought would fade away
Self destruction on my mind
Self esteem is hard to find
Self reflection seems to be my only way of getting by
I ain't even chasing highs, keep my expectations low
As my mind, trying to fight the feelings as they come and go
See the signs of decline but I never let them show
Cause now it's all that I know
It's all that I know

Tell me what my future holds
If this is becoming all that I know
Help me not to lose my hope
Cause this is becoming all that I know

Seems to be my affliction has become my addiction
Been a while since I gave in but my time is still wasted
Contemplating if it really ever solved anything
Or if I was just distracted by the pain that it brings
Ain't ashamed to admit that it remains how I think
But even if I had the choice I wouldn't change anything
I'm still the same as I was, only difference is
I'm in control
Cause now it's all that I know
It's all that I know

Tell me what my future holds
If this is becoming all that I know
Help me not to lose my hope
Cause this is becoming all that I know

2024 eighteenSAINT / Clouded North

All That I Know - Alt Version

Lyrics:

Too much on my mind, I had to learn to keep it out of sight
Soon as I let my guard down, they're asking me if I'm alright
“Yeah I'm fine”, I reply as I fake a smile
From time to time, it's real but in reality it's been a while
Since I had some peace of mind
You wouldn't want a piece of mine
Trying to find solutions for emotions that I can't define
Or should I say I can't recall
Barely feel anything at all
I find I'm always waiting for the fall

It's gonna be alright
Take care 
When it's all too much to bear
Everything you wanted
Don't you know you've got it right there 
Long nights
Nightmares
Life don't fight fair
Look inside my mind
You might not like what you find there

Yeah, yeah
Lost myself one day and I'm still trying to find my way
Try to explain it but I never find the words to say
Searching everyday for ways to take my mind away
From the darkness, now I figure that it's here to stay
But it's okay
Honestly I'm quite acquainted
I learned from my mistakes, it takes its toll when I fake it
Used to think I'd never make it
Now every chance, I take it
If this is the hand I'm dealt then I'll play it

It's gonna be alright
Take care 
When it's all too much to bear
Everything you wanted
Don't you know you've got it right there 
Long nights
Nightmares
Life don't fight fair
Look inside my mind
You might not like what you find there

Alright

Letting Go

NTHN

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