My expectations for myself are too high for me to ever achieve
I tell myself I'm not to blame but always find it hard to believe
I might look like I've got it all together
But underneath I still deal with the pressure
Despite my best intentions, still question my abilities
Trusting in myself is not as easy as it seems

My confidence is growing but cracks in my self-esteem are still showing
Knowing how to cope doesn’t mean I'm not going through it all in my head
Thinking about everything I should have done instead

But here I go
Apologising for what's out of my control
I've never been the best at letting go
I blame myself when anything goes wrong
When in reality I never could have known
'Cause this feeling never goes away
(Even though I know it's not my fault I still feel the same)
I don't know what makes me feel this way
But it always ends in apologies

I overanalyse my actions way more than I should
And if I ever let you down just know that I did all that I could
'Cause I might not get it right the first time
But trust me when I say that I tried
Most of my time's spent
Trying to keep this up
Trying for those I love
'Cause all I've ever wanted is to feel enough

My confidence is growing but cracks in my self esteem are still showing
Knowing how to cope doesn’t mean I'm not going through it all in my head
Thinking about everything I should have done instead

But here I go
Apologising for what's out of my control
I've never been the best at letting go
I blame myself when anything goes wrong
When in reality I never could have known
'Cause this feeling never goes away
(Even though I know it's not my fault I still feel the same)
I don't know what makes me feel this way
But I'm done with making apologies

Artwork by BIG MOTH (@bigmothonline)
© & ℗ NTHN / eighteenSAINT 2021

Apologies

prod. slade kovacs x UNORDINARYBEATS

lyrics:
hollup baby, i been crazy since the motherfuckin first day
favor my .380, give a fuck about ya birthday
unmedicated, know they finna have a cursed day
ill in my behavior, do them niggas in the worst way

i’m why these missiles outta stock
keep a stizzy in my sock
i get busy with them glocks
keep my pistol, know i got it on me

you a sissy, not a dog
double 50 in the mop
not an issue, you a fraud
just a product of me

keep a cutter on my waistline
ain’t about a dollar? do not holla
i don’t waste time
everybody mobbing ‘til we caught em outta state lines
they gon find his rotten bloated carcass by the bayside
everybody squawkin, not a talker
i’ma take lives
she a little older, never find me on the dateline

said he want the smoke, then roll it up and i’ma face mine
roll it up and i’ma face mine

heavy metal rocking, heavy stomping in my boots
rezzy like a god, i send down lightning like i’m zeus
feeling like a zombie, brain be rotting from the boof
got me talking all that nonsense, i’ma prophet in the booth
never caught up, keep a rifle and a sniper on the scene
bullet hit his noggin, saw it exit through his spleen
rezzy been about it, keep a weapon with a beam
holographic for the static, with a matted lmg
i’m as petty as can be

hollup baby, i been crazy since the motherfuckin first day
favor my .380, give a fuck about ya birthday
unmedicated, know they finna have a cursed day
ill in my behavior, do them niggas in the worst way

i’m why these missiles outta stock
keep a stizzy in my sock
i get busy with them glocks
keep my pistol, know i got it on me

you a sissy, not a dog
double 50 in the mop
not an issue, you a fraud

heavy metal rocking, heavy stomping in my boots
rezzy like a god, i send down lightning like i’m zeus
feeling like a zombie, brain be rotting from the boof
got me talking all that nonsense, i’ma prophet in the booth
never caught up, keep a rifle and a sniper on the scene
bullet hit his noggin, saw it exit through his spleen
rezzy been about it, keep a weapon with a beam
holographic for the static, with a matted lmg
i’m as petty as can..

cryptkept

WHERETHEWINDBLOWS

https://soundcloud.com/ytd40oz
prod EraWmb

lyrics

Ain’t no try when I did it
Ain’t no lie boy I’m with it
Ain’t no side when I’m winning
Ain’t no down when I finish

Ain’t no try when I did it
Do not got a minute
Ain’t no lie when I’m with it
Know I’m riding in it
Ain’t no side when I’m winning
Issa fight I’m hitting
Ain’t no down when I finish
I ain’t got a limit

I ain’t got a limit
Bitch I’m bouta handle business
Working in the back
In a dream I ain’t sleeping wit it

Ima need minute
Shit I’m moving independent
Running all the game
Behind the scene I’m the real menace

I ain’t get no credit
For the - shhhhh
I get ain’t no mention
For the movement I invented

Ima diamond in the mud
These labels tryna get it
Bitch I done create what they ain’t, kept it all authentic

Caffeine in my styrofoam
Feeling numb in my frontal lobe
I hate life an its petty ways gotta get drunk to get away 

Fucking with me got me killing my insides insides
Fuck it I need a new enzyme enzyme
Making money for the mortgage
Hoping everything will flourish

I'm wide awake and its just another take off
I feel engraved in the stone of the lost cause
An I know its hard to ignite when u feel alone
I know u need another soul u can call home

Hidden

NO TALK - Bumboi w/ Y$57 (prod. evileaf)

Leave It All Behind

Visualizer : https://youtu.be/-XmifovWxBI?si=8UF8egN5KFvJwEq3
Lyrics:
I Can’t feel it feel it feel it
Coming down down down down 

I just make her sad every time that come around round 

I Light it up and take hit
Im faded in this cloud cloud 

Shawty the brought the party favors told her break it down down 

X2

I Woke up body frigid I can’t get up out this bad dream 
 rain clouds following me 
Don’t tell me what’s happening 

It Feels like I’m a ghost 
These days 
When she pass me 

Why does it feel like the good times 
Never lasting

And Why does it feel like I’m in this battle of attrition 

Against my mind and addictions 

And all these awful decisions 

I make

What do you do when it all 
Just crash down 

Feel lost I crash out 

These days so fast now 

 I cauldnt  catch up 
Don’t know  if ima come around 

I face it 
Fall flat
It’s why I woke up on ground 

I Can’t feel it feel it feel it
Coming down down down down 

I just make her sad every time that come around round 

I Light it up and take hit
Im faded in this cloud cloud 

Shawty the brought the party favors told her break it down down 
X2

Lately isn’t me 
Just a persona 
In a skin suit 
Disassociation
Couldn’t tell you what I been though

Every day a maze hellscape

Where I’m missing you 

Missin me 

You could see me wallow in my misery 

I feel like I’m broken how I’m always coming 
Down down 

You gave and then I took 
It’s why I always wear this frown frown 

Broken by the book 

These pills don’t ever help me level out 

My Heart is racing too fast 

Gas push the pedal down 

I Can’t feel it feel it feel it
Coming down down down down 

I just make her sad every time that come around round 

I Light it up and take hit
Im faded in this cloud cloud 

Shawty the brought the party favors told her break it down down

#clamscasino
#cloudrap


can't/feel/it

can't/feel/it (Prod. sogimura)

Featuring: @loat66
Stream: https://vyd.co/NikkoCreep
Lyrics:

(LOAT!)
Fuck, marry, kill and im doing all 3 
I don't even want the bitch if she aint crazy bout me 
Ill leave a hoe hanging if she complain around me 
Its the real underwxrld in this bitch how I creep
Creep
They all know im hot 
Hotter than a twat 
Got these bitches taking shots 
Its liquor on her tongue 
Its liquor on the rocks 
And im finna find a plug and we finna open shop 
What you want? This a rock 
Baby that's a Glock 
Put it in your name cause im running from the cops 
She don't look away when im shooting at that opp
Now im beating up that box 
Pussy boy you just a bot
Get chopped 
You a poser
Real bi-polar
You don't got no masters you already sold it
You left in the past bruh its over you no one 
Your bitch made a bag off a link and you broke huh?

Creep
How I creep through the trees
Slide on a bitch finna creep through the jeans 
30 round clip on my piece on my beam
This aint no vision it’s G what I see
Creep
Im a freak on a leash
Text from her Ex, he a creep in the scene 
I don't play that she can keep it from me 
Bon appetit boy you cheaper than cheese

(NIKKO)
Grrtttaaa aye
Shawty knew I loved her when I dropped a body bout her 
She wanna be my sacrifice I put her on the alter 
Oh shit its motion now, my dick out and they all suck
Choke on it lick it bitch get my tip swolled up 
Only want it if it’s toxic 
Put my kids on it 
Show me you really bout this 
And I got a switch too (Switch 2) 
Fuck if her ex box (Xbox)
Promise if that pussy pull up on me his head poppin mami 
We hot droppin bombs im too popular 
Where yo thot went? 
Prolly toppin us 
Down there head bobbin
Balls  gargling and all 
She want fuck with the dogs all because you miss shots 
I hit buzzers 
Ha muhfucker 
Knows I would slide for her name and would die for my brothers 
What you gonna do? Love her? 
Boy you so lame she wan’ fuck with a thug and im thuggin
Bitch run it , watch opposition moving legs and kicking dust up 
Freaky as he’ll way im getting this cheese 
Creep in the dark he got hit with a beam 
Money buss out my jeans 
But ion trip on it 
Nah, ion trip bout it 
Lead the feds outta state just so I don’t get the clique caught up 
Don’t get it twisted tho, put heads on ya 
Said she hear voices all the time…
Ain’t no wonder bitch you always swallow 
Heart hollowed-out by the bottom of an Rx Percocet bottle 
Now you drownin in your thoughts and don’t even wan’ see tomorrow 
Wondering if anybody else got a soul that you could borrow 
On the other side 
Is the grass greener on the other side 
NIKKO is there dead bodies in this house or not? 
Don’t test me, I’m not with a quiz bitch 
They’ll find your body carved up outside with the ribs missing 
Gangsta

(LOAT!)
How I creep through the trees
Slide on a bitch finna creep through the jeans 
30 round clip on my piece on my beam
This aint no vision it’s G what I see
Creep
Im a freak on a leash
Text from her Ex, he a creep in the scene 
I don't play that she can keep it from me 
Bon appetit boy you cheaper than cheese
Creep
How I creep through the trees
Slide on a bitch finna creep through the jeans 
30 round clip on my piece on my beam
This aint no vision it’s G what I see
Creep
Im a freak on a leash
Text from her Ex, he a creep in the scene 
I don't play that she can keep it from me 
Bon appetit boy you cheaper than cheese

Buy CREEP by NIKKO

CREEP (prod. LOAT!)

FIRST AID KIT (PROD. SAURXN & Y$57)

ITS MY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!

Halloween is my fave time of year for this reason, that and the fuckin horror vibes on crack

I dont have anything new to share, so im uploading this track I made a few months ago but forgot to upload. I will dig up the lyrics.

Hope you guys have a great halloween, got a few more things up my sleeve this year

YEAH SCRIPTZ

HOME AWAY FROM HOME (PROD. SORROW BRINGER)

BRUTAL W/ PAPKE (PROD. HOODS)

CLOUDED NORTH ☁️
UK Cloud/Emo Rap Artist & Producer