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Chasing Shadows

حبيب عينيا .. حبيب احلامي !

متاخده من الايام وخايفه اشوفه صدفه 
اجري عليه اخاف مابقتش عارفه 
ظلمني ولا ظلمته ؟ انا مابقتش شايفه
غير ان البعد كان اريح اريح من البعد
جو الحاجات الحلوه ميه مليون وجع
كان طبعه قاسي لكنه برضو كان جدع
ومتاخده من الايام 
في حضنه قولت كلام 
لايمكن اقولو تاني 
متلخبطه والف حاجه مخوفاني
اروحله ؟ ولا اسيبه ؟ ولاافضل مكاني؟
مخدناش منه ياقلبي الا وجع القلب 


Shereen-Metkhda_Men 2014 شيرين متاخده من الايام

I didn’t sleep I just paused the noise
Every thought’s got a voice, and it don’t sound like mine
I don’t scream I just spit to stay awake
One more line keeps the dark away


Snap when the rhythm don’t land in the chest
Breath too short and the world’s compressed
Click-clack beat like a pulse I fake
Rap too fast just to block the ache
No crowd, no light, no “you got this” talk
Just me and a track when the nerves all lock
Hands don’t shake when I match that pace
But I fall through silence like dead air space


She’s gone but her silence still burns
Every song I write just twists and turns


I breathe through noise ‘cause the still ain’t safe
Write too hard, like I’m dodging fate
Say I’m fine with a mic in hand
But the pain leaks through like a kicked-in stand
No fix, no rest, just keep that tone
She left, and I broke like a feedback drone
If I stop this verse, I don’t survive
Music don’t heal it just keeps me alive


Can’t fake joy, so I rap like math
Stack each bar like a therapy path
Lines get sharp when the hands won’t lift
Still trace her name when the beat goes stiff
Buried my son in a verse I hid
Still play his laugh in a kick and skit
The grief don’t stop, it just shifts and loops
So I rhyme like blood with a reverb boost


She said “You never came back from that”
I said “This pen’s all I got to react”


I breathe through rhythm I don’t pray
This mic holds more than I can say
Love won’t land where the beat won’t break
So I stay where the silence aches


Mind don’t rest, just spins in shards
Chop these thoughts into rhythm cards
Snap that breath like a snare in chains
Every step’s got teeth in the phantom pain
Too fast to feel, too sharp to fake
Write like the world got hands on my face
Bleed in lines ‘cause the pulse don’t show
Still here ‘cause the beat said go


It ain’t therapy it’s triage
Every bar I write is gauze
I’m not strong I’m just too wired
To let go before the beat expires


She holds me close I barely move
Still wired to the ones I lose


I breathe through verses I stall, not speak
Hope don’t rise it sinks in deep
Can’t hold joy it leaks in sound
I wrap my truth in a feedback crown


Don’t save me
Just press play
Still here for now


It Ain’t Therapy It’s Triage

You think this is light? It’s just noise in bloom.
Every dream’s a glitch from a darker room.
I don’t fly  I break through seams,
Paint the sky with what bleeds from dreams.

Step into the burn where the stars rewind,
Every glow got teeth, every dream got grind.
We don’t soar  we snap through shade,
Write maps on scars that never fade.
This ain’t a world, it’s a looped idea,
Hearts beat hard when the end feels near.
Children laugh where the void begins,
Call it light, but it’s ink on skin.

No wings, just will  no script, just sound.
If you chase the stars, you’ll burn the ground.

A whole new world, bent out of frame,
We light the dark and rename pain.
No fear of falling  we start from low,
Rise through the static where broken goes.
Chasing dawn with shattered feet,
Spirit wild, soul offbeat.
This ain’t where we’re meant to be 
It’s what we made from the wreck we see.

Hear the rhythm? It’s scars in time,
Heartbeats sync to a loss we mime.
A verse ain’t real ‘til it skips your breath,
This universe sings in minor death.
Painted skies just blur and drip,
Hope’s a myth on a sinking ship.
But memory cuts in perfect key,
And grief becomes the harmony.

We write in echoes, not in light.
Truth don’t land  it takes flight.

A whole new world, where hope distorts,
Shadowed stars in fractured ports.
Together now, we break the key,
Dreams unlock the agony.

Not every spark is born to glow,
Some burn cold so the rest can show.
We carved our names in frozen ground,
Then looped that pain into feedback sound.
I don’t smile  I stretch the ache,
Hide my breath in the noise I make.
And when they ask what freedom means,
I play the cracks between the themes.

No limits hold when the voice breaks free,
No bounds exist in this melody.
We write our names in ash and rain,
The fire inside won’t burn the same.

I don’t chase peace  I shape the ache.
If it breaks me, the song will wake.

A whole new world, not built  survived.
A song still looping from when we died.
We found our place, not destiny 
Just one more verse that let us breathe.

This is freedom  fractured, bent.
Not what was given, but what we meant.


new world

Welcome to HollowWeird where the curtains lie
I dance in sequins soaked in cries
The spotlight blinds what grief reveals
Each bow’s a bargain my silence seals
They laugh while I balance on memory’s thread
The children vanish their stories unread
They cheer for the show not the girl inside
Applause is a coffin I climb to survive

I whispered I’m fine but I tasted the blood
Glitter don’t shine when it’s mixed in the mud

I wasn’t there to kiss your eyes
Didn’t sing the song that softened your cries
The tune I wrote frayed under strain
Too fragile to hold all of your pain
I stitched your name in the sound
But echoes break when no one’s around
Now all that’s left is this broken sigh
The lullaby ended and so do I

They frame her name like a finished tale
Smile when they speak while I go pale
I choke on praise they hand like sweets
They never heard the way she’d weep
The feed scrolls past with fake regret
But I still fold napkins where she once sat
They tell me grief is a phase not a fight
But her voice is the reason I stay alive

It’s not healing it’s pretending to breathe
While every word they say cuts deep beneath

Don’t ask how I’m doing
I left when she died
I choke on comfort dressed up as kind
Still hum to a room that pretends it's fine
They call it peace I call it lie
Their silence speaks like a lullaby
I hum what’s left no reason why
The lullaby ended and so do I

Tell me where she went
I heard her voice in the silence

She played piano with fingers too small
Messed up the keys but remembered it all
She’d barge in yelling who took her coat
Then hug me mid-sentence like that was the note
I braided her hair while she made up tunes
Now I flinch when I walk through empty rooms
Still buy her snacks then forget they’re there
Keep lights on like she might need care

I screamed in the car till I split my chest
Begged the air to bring her back
I cursed the stars and broke my faith
There’s no clean God just empty space

I don’t sing for her now I hum to stay
One breath one note I can’t push away
A hum I don’t even recognize
A tune too faint to memorize
I mouth her name when the silence feeds
Still flinch at the pull of forgotten needs
I hold one sound like a last reply
The lullaby ended and so do I

One truth One cut Now I am done
No scream No echo Just the end

Buried in the Applause

I sat in the room where the air turned black
No sound but the hum and your voice pulled back
I told the wall I was done no fight
No pulse in my chest that felt like light
I don’t know why I didn’t go
Maybe something in me just said slow
I don’t believe in signs not much
But the world got quiet when I lost your touch

Still ain’t sure why I breathe like this
But I hear your laugh in the quiet mist

I made my choice the edge was near
But your memory whispered stay right here
In the darkest night your light would glow
Guiding me back refusing to let go
Your laughter echoes in my mind
A melody I can't leave behind
Each step I take I feel you near
Your voice still pulls me back sincere

I still see you running in the sun
Dress flowing no shoes just chasing fun
You told me the trees could talk to stars
That clouds have names and swings leave scars
We laid in grass while your hands made tea
Tiny cups you poured just for me
I didn’t know that'd be the last real day
But your voice still pulls me back that way

And I think maybe that's why I'm still here
You left your light in everything near

So now I stay never alone
I sing because your song won’t fade
I live because of the love you gave
Your voice still pulls me back sincere

You never knew what you gave to me
Just tea and games and honesty
You looked at bugs like they had names
And loved me even with my shame
You danced in circles wild and weird
And every fear I had you cleared
I was lost long before you came
But you said Papa and I stayed

You found me when I was almost gone
So I keep waking up just holding on

I don’t know how to fix what broke
But I’ll carry you in every note
You taught me how to laugh through pain
To sit in sun and dance in rain
You gave me tea with empty hands
Still made me feel like I could stand
So maybe that's the point I missed
You live through me I live through this

I wanted to go I really did
But I saw your face so I hid
Not from grief but from the end
Because your love said stand again

So now I stay never alone
I sing because your song won’t fade
I live because of the love you gave
Your voice still pulls me back sincere

Your love remains clear
I let go but I hold on to you young lady


Pulls me back

I'm so tired of being here  
Tired of names I can't forget  
Tired of seeing my own reflection  
Tired of always feeling lost within  
I keep waking up alive  
And I don't know what for  

I don’t want comfort, don't want lies  
I want escape, just close my eyes  

Yet in this fight, I can't ignore  
The faintest hope worth living for  
Underneath, a reason stays  
A voice that cuts through all this weight  
I'm reaching out beyond the fear  
Hoping something real is near  
Each step I take still feels like a fall  
But I keep moving through it all  

I remember the way she smiled  
How nothing I did was ever wrong  
She hid her hurt behind her eyes  
Made pain a verse inside her song  
I didn’t see how deep it went  
Thought she’d always be that strong  
Now she’s gone, her silence stayed  
And I'm still here, but I’m not okay  

I know she's gone, but nothing fills the space  
I still feel her in everything I face  

I see her face in every wall  
Hear her laugh, then nothing at all  
The world still turns, but not for me  
I'm haunted by who I used to be  
Each step I take still feels like a fall  
But I keep moving through it all  
She left with grace I'll never find  
And took the part I called alive  

She's not here, yet she won't leave  
Her laugh in the dark, her breath in me  
How do I keep walking like she’s still there  
Holding onto a ghost as if she cared?  

I still see her face when darkness calls  
Hear her voice before silence falls  
She's not here, yet I still react  
To a love I can't bring back  
I don’t know how to move beyond  
But I carry what she left behind  
In memories, I find my strength  
Each step I take still feels like a fall  
But I keep moving through it all  

I carry her with me  
In every step I don’t want to take  
That’s the promise  
That’s the hope I find in her

In Every Step

Woke to the buzz of the amp still lit  
Fingers twitch like I’m caught in it  
Riff keeps loopin but it don’t land  
Neck on fire but I hold that stand  
You’d crash through when the beat fell flat  
Fix my timing with a voice like that  
Now I’m stuck with a ghost in the tone  
Tappin the neck just to not feel gone

Feel that break when the downbeat hits  
Still no sound from the place you quit

Where’d you go with the strings half-tied  
Left your gear in the case like a final sign  
Said I’d finish it then cut the line  
Didn’t say peace just killed the climb  
Hear you riff in the chords I run  
The amp hums but the silence wins  
I’d give up every song I’ve ever played  
Just to ask if you’re okay

You came through with a line you hated  
Played it once then said I’d make it  
Sat right here while the rhythm glitched  
Shrugged when I asked if you felt that shift  
Eyes said more than the track could hold  
Hug hit hard but your skin felt cold  
Left so clean like the scene was wrapped  
Didn’t know that’d be the final snap

Crack in the note that you didn’t bend  
Still hear finish it in the end

String broke mid-run and I still played  
Let your last riff drag through the fade  
It ain't fixed but I tried today  
Just to ask if you’re okay

Looped that bar til the neck went red  
Felt your pulse in the fretboard thread  
Didn’t scream but my tone got sharp  
Solo broke where you left your mark

Built that run like a final breath  
Tapped each note like I cheated death  
Still no peace in the chords I lay  
Just to ask if you’re okay

Didn’t end it I just hit play  
Still waitin on what you’d say


Just to ask if you’re okay

شايف العيون محتارة و وياباي كلام الناس حجارة 
وإنتي بهالدرب بنت قوية و ما بيرتاحوا الناس 
إلا يشوفوا فيكي قلب بيشكي 
ما هيك الناس لازم تحكي ، 
بس شو ما صار ما تزعليش 
مش لحالك بهادا الكون
 ما تزعليش ولا هادا اخر يوم 
كل ما تحسي غصة بقلبك انا هيني دايماً جنبك 
شو ما قالوا عنك كل هالناس زادوا فيي حب و زادوا إحساس 
شو ما قالوا عنك كل هالناس
ياما قالوا فيكي قالوا هالناس 
بنت قوية و شي شخصية
 قالوا مين مفكرة حالها هي 
بنت قوية و شي شخصية يقولوا شو ما يقولوا خليكي هيك 
اليوم عايشيين منحاول
لو مرة غلطانيين مين سائل ؟ 
والناس ضايعيين عَ وين رايحة الدنيا شو ما يقولوا الناس 
إرمي وراكي و ضلك إمشي
 و هاالأيام أخرها تعدي 
بس شو ما صار ما تزعليش مش لحالك بهادا الكون ما تزعليش 
ولا هادا اخر يوم 
كل ما تحسي غصة بقلبك انا هيني دايماً جنبك 
شو ما قالوا عنك كل هالناس 
زادوا فيي حب و زادوا  إحساس 
شو ما قالوا عنك كل هالناس
 ياما قالوا فيكي قالوا هالناس 
بنت قوية و شي شخصية
 قالوا مين مفكرة حالها هي 
بنت قوية و شي شخصية يقولوا شو ما يقولوا  
خليكي زي ما إنتي قوية على طول 
ولا يهممك.. ولك ولا يهمك خليكي هيك 

شو ما قالوا عنك كل هالناس 
بنت قوية و شي شخصية ولا يهمك 
ما حدا قدك سوي شو ما بدك إمشي ورا قلبك خليكي فوق
خلي راسك فوق 
خليكي هيك بنت قوية و شي شخصية 
أي يروحوا يوَلّوا كل هالناس 
يروحوا يوَلّوا كل هالناس

Pulls me back

Clowns in Hollowweird