Stay On Our Islands

She pulled me in with words, I thought I knew
 Said I was the one, but her love wasn’t true
 Every whisper felt like she’d never let me go
 But somewhere along the way, silence started to grow
 She used to speak of forever, like it was our fate
 Now all she sees in me is a reason to hate
 Every word I said just fed her fire
 And every step I took dragged us down to the wire

 She said that I was her forever
 It only took a pretty face
 Lying helpless in a
 Then I remember
 She knows how he tastes
 She knows how he tastes
 A truth I can not erase

 But forever doesn’t disappear
 She said I was her only one
 Then left me drowning in the fear
 I was the fire she burned for comfort
 Now I’m the ash she left unclear
 She said forever
 But forever’s nowhere near

 The moon above don’t shine the same
 She used to be my guiding flame
 But in the darkness, I can feel the change
 And the distance is all that remains

 She said that I was her forever
 It only took a pretty face
 Lying helpless in a
 Then I remember
 She knows how he tastes
 She knows how he tastes
 A truth I can not erase

 She pulled away, no reason why
 Every move I made, she turned into a fight
 I now know why

 She said that I was her forever
 It only took a pretty face
 Lying helpless in a
 Then I remember
 She knows how he tastes
 She knows how he tastes
 A truth I can not erase

 She said that I was her forever
 But forever walked away and now I fade ahhh– way

Lyrics: Clowns 
Vocals: Alex, Isaac
Drums: Jeremy
Bass: Isaac
Lead Guitar: Clowns 
Rhythm Guitar: Alex
Production: Alex

Forever Walked Away

Forever walked away

She said she needed space to breathe
Then slowly faded, like the autumn leaves
No warning, no words, she just slipped away
Left me guessing, with nothing to say
She pulled me close, but built a wall
And when I reached for her, she let me fall
I gave her everything, my heart, my mind
But the girl who ran away, was so hard to find

She ran away, no goodbye, no trace
Left me standing in the empty space
No explanation, just a missing name
The girl who ran away, left me with the pain
I searched for answers, but there were none
She ran away, and I’m still undone

We built our dreams, we built our plans
But she’s gone, like dust in the sand
Her smile, her laughter, now a distant sound
I’m searching for her, but she’s not around
I thought I knew her, thought she was real
But the girl who ran away, I can’t appease
Her love was a fire, but it burned too fast
And now I’m left with a shadow cast

She ran away, no goodbye, no trace
Left me standing in the empty space
No explanation, just a missing name
The girl who ran away, left me with the pain
I searched for answers, but there were none
She ran away, and I’m still undone

I hear her voice, but it’s just a ghost
A memory of what I wanted most
She was the dream that slipped through my hands
The girl who ran away, with no demands.

She ran away, no goodbye, no trace
Left me standing in the empty space
No explanation, just a missing name
The girl who ran away, left me with the pain
I searched for answers, but there were none
She ran away, and I’m still undone

The girl who ran away, left me in the dark
Now I’m left with just her mark
No reason, no rhyme, no final say
Just the girl who ran away

Lyrics: Clowns 
Vocals: Cosmo, Isaac
Drums: Jeremy
Bass: Isaac
Lead Guitar: Clowns 
Piano: Clowns
Rhythm Guitar: Alex
Production: Alex, cosmo

The girl who ran away

I’m slipping fast, can’t find my ground
The world keeps turning, I’m breaking down
Memories hit like a violent tide
Each one a truth I try to hide
I'm shattered glass on a bedroom floor
Just echoes now of what I was before
The silence screams, it cuts like steel
Too numb to cry, too broke to heal


I’m falling apart, can’t keep it together
Stuck in the storm, lost in bad weather
The voices in my head won't let me be
Drowning in shadows that no one can see
I’m falling apart, each breath is a fight
A fading spark, alone in the night


The walls close in, the light slips out
Hope used to whisper, now it only shouts
I call for help, but no one hears
Just me and the weight of all these years
I reach for strength, but I fall again
Walking circles in my own pain
Used to stand tall, now I barely speak
A shell of the man I used to be


I’m falling apart, can’t keep it together
Stuck in the storm, lost in bad weather
The voices in my head won't let me be
Drowning in shadows that no one can see
I’m falling apart, each breath is a fight
A fading spark, alone in the night


No more pretending I’m alright
The cracks are showing in plain sight
I’m slipping out of who I was
A ghost beneath a sky gone dark


I’m falling apart, can’t keep it together
Torn at the seams, light as a feather
The world moves on, but I’m stuck in place
Wearing this pain like it’s stitched to my face
I’m falling apart, each breath is a fight
A fading spark, alone in the night

Falling apart, can’t find my way
Caught in the wreckage of yesterday

Falling apart, can’t find my way
Caught in the wreckage of yesterday 

Falling apart, can’t find my way
Caught in the wreckage of yesterday

Falling apart, can’t find my way
Caught in the wreckage of yesterday

Lyrics: Clowns 
Vocals: Cosmo, Isaac
Drums: Jeremy
Piano: Clowns 
Production: Alex, Cosmo

Falling Apart

We dressed you in light and lullabies
Now we whisper to the sky
Your room is still, your blanket near
But nothing takes away the fear
You were too small for this big world
But you were love, you were our girl
Now every heartbeat aches the same
Calling out your little name

Heaven’s not that far tonight
When I close my eyes, I see your light
In the quiet, in the air
I feel your spirit everywhere
You were here, and then you flew
But every part of me holds you
And though you're gone, you're not afar
Heaven’s close — wherever you are

The toys are still, the songs don’t play
But we remember anyway
Your tiny hands, your gentle sound
The way your joy would fill the ground
We say goodbye with shattered grace
Still searching for your smiling face
And though we break a thousand ways
You’ll live in all our quiet days

Heaven’s not that far tonight
When I close my eyes, I see your light
In the quiet, in the air
I feel your spirit everywhere
You were here, and then you flew
But every part of me holds you
And though you're gone, you're not afar
Heaven’s close — wherever you are

So, rest, sweet one, beneath the stars
We’ll meet again — it's not that far
The world feels wrong, the skies are gray
But love like yours won’t fade away
Never fade away, never fade away
So, rest sweet one

Vocals: Cosmo, Alex
Drums: Jeremy
Bass: Isaac
Piano: Clowns
Rhythm Guitar: Alex
Production: Alex

Heavens Not that far tonight

the calm in the chaos, light in the stream
A steady breath inside someone else’s dream
Not here for noise or flashing screens
But the silence where the healing leans
You won’t hear a shout to fill a space
who listens like the world’s not a race
And when the dark starts creeping in
Let's speak like hope has always been

You won’t see it coming — no spark, no flame
But somehow everything feels safe again

the quiet in the static, the peace in the sound
The weight in your chest when no one’s around
the echo you find when the world pulls away
The stillness that tells you it’s okay to stay
Not a hero, not a light in the sky
But the reason some nights you don’t say goodbye

There’s no spotlight in this room
Just a glow that cuts the gloom
Not ready to be paid
patched more hearts than most have saved
not here to entertain
But somehow helps you feel less strange
There’s a weight we always lift
With words that feel like quiet gifts

You won’t see it coming — no spark, no flame
But somehow everything feels safe again

the quiet in the static, the peace in the sound
The weight in your chest when no one’s around
the echo you find when the world pulls away
The stillness that tells you it’s okay to stay
Not a hero, not a light in the sky
But the reason some nights you don’t say goodbye

don’t ask for much, just shows up
When your world feels like it’s giving up
No judgment, no need to pretend
Just a moment where your heart can bend

A quiet kind of night
That shines without needing the light
not saving the world, just a soul or two
But sometimes, that’s the bravest thing to do
I need to know, are you ready go

the quiet in the static, the peace in the sound
The weight in your chest when no one’s around
the echo you find when the world pulls away
The stillness that tells you it’s okay to stay
Not a hero, not a light in the sky
But the reason some nights you don’t say goodbye

don’t ask for much, just shows up
When your world feels like it’s giving up
No judgment, no need to pretend
Just a moment where your heart can bend

Not a hero, not a light in the sky
But the reason some nights you don’t say goodbye

Lyrics: Clowns
Vocals: Cosmo
Drums: Jeremy
Bass: Isaac
Piano: Clowns
Lead Guitar: Clowns
Rhythm Guitar Alex
Production: Clowns

Quiet in the static

I’m slipping fast, can't find the edge
Another night alone with death
I laugh, I nod, I play the role
But no one sees the rot beneath my breath
I smile wide while I disappear
Each joke I tell hides one more tear
And all these thoughts I try to drown
Are screaming louder now somehow

I’m breaking, can’t hold it together
Falling like rain in forever bad weather
Thoughts spinning loud, cutting like knives
No one would guess I’ve begged for my life
I’m breaking, and no one can tell
Choking on silence, dressed like I’m on fire

I stare at pills and hold my breath
Every thought’s a brush with death
They say I matter, but not today
Their words just float and drift away
My phone lights up, I let it ring
No message left, no offering
I walk around in quiet despair
I flicker out and no one stares

I’m breaking, and it's easy to see
The bottle’s right here, staring back at me
No more hiding, no more disguise
The pain’s in my walk, it's clear in my eyes
I’m breaking, but no one speaks
They look right through me while I bleed

I tried, I swear, to reach the shore
But every step just hurt me more
You said I’d make it, said I’m strong
But I’ve been dying all along

I’m breaking, and I don’t care who knows
Swallowed the pills, now let it go
Wrapped tight in silence, letting go slow
No goodbye, no name to echo
I’m breaking this is where it ends
No more fight. No more pretend
No more silence, no more disguise
I left the mask behind this time

One last scream, but the words won’t come out
No warning left, no second sound
Just silence where you once belonged
By the time you hear this
I’m already gone
and you’ll never get the chance again

Lyrics: Chris
Vocals: Cosmo
Drums: Jeremy
Bass: Isaac
Piano: Clowns
Lead Guitar: Chris
Rhythm Guitar Alex
Production: Alex

Already gone

I’ve learned the sound of “I’m not fine”
The way it lives between your lines
Some days I catch the weight you hide
Some nights I play it back and cry
It’s not the words that make me shake
It’s knowing how close the end could take
And every silence hits too loud
I brace myself for what’s not allowed

I don't know how to hold the weight
when it sounds like you're writing fate

I hear your songs like suicide notes
Chords like ropes and whispered throats
I play them back when you don’t respond
Try to decode what you meant all along
Did that last line mean you’re giving in
Is this the track where the pain wins
I don’t know what’s reaching or letting go
But I answer each one
Like it’s goodbye

I’ve found the notes you didn’t send
The ones that almost marked the end
I’ve heard your breath go still, then start
Like death forgot to play its part
You sing about grief like it’s just a rhyme
But I know the moments behind each line
The nights you vanish without a call
The pills the edge the almost fall
And I sit awake not knowing what
To say
Or what you’ve lost

I still feel you slipping slow
I can't be there if it goes dark
but I'm still with you
in every part

I hear your songs like suicide notes
Chords like ropes and whispered throats
I play them back when you don’t respond
Try to decode what you meant all along
Did that last line mean you’re giving in
Is this the track where the pain wins
I don’t know what’s reaching or letting go
But I answer each one
Like it’s goodbye

I don’t care how far you fall
I’ll reach again, I’ll risk it all
You don’t have to hide the pain
You don’t have to try to explain
You still matter more than you believe
And if you slip, just fall toward me
You’re not a burden, never were
Love
That’s the only word

I know I can’t hold you back
I know you write what others lack
But what if one day it’s the end
and the songs don’t leave your pen

I don’t care if I sound afraid
I’d rather beg than you drift away

I hear your songs like suicide notes
Chords like ropes and whispered throats
I play them back when you don’t respond
Try to decode what you meant all along
Did that last line mean you’re giving in
Is this the track where the pain wins
I don’t know what’s reaching or letting go
But I answer each one
Like it’s goodbye

I’ll stay here
Hoping this isn't goodbye
because I love you


Lyrics: Alex
Vocals: Cosmo, Alex, Maggie
Bass: Isaac
Drums: Jeremy
Piano: Maggie
Guitar: Alex
Production: Alex, Caleb

Suicide Notes

Not for show

i know that pull like a blade in the chest
forty-five minutes just eyein' the rest
bottle on the counter like it knew my breath
like it whispered come closer let's settle this death
ain’t about wantin’ it’s when need goes mute
and the air turns thick with a laced dispute
my hands didn’t shake but my ribs sure did
like the grief grew claws and crawled under my lid
some nights i stare 'til the drywall bends
and the ceiling starts speakin' like long-lost friends
sleep’s just a rumor hope’s on strike
and my shadow been swingin' like it wanna fight
ain’t no scream just a pressure tone
an amp for the cracked sung all alone
but i’m still here with a jaw half clenched
spittin’ ash on the dark where the edge got drenched

i wear the weight like it asked to stay
each breath says leave but my feet say wait
ain’t no clean escape no sacred grace
just a mouth full of blood and a haunted face

this pain don’t beg it waits
silent as a lock with a hundred gates
i’m the sound of a war that won't erase
draggin’ my name through a hollowed space
no light no hand no reason right
just breathin' through hours that sharpen the bite
i rise ‘cause the fall don’t finish me clean
and i walk through hell just to rot unseen

some days i wake like a glitch in time
can’t tell if i dreamed or just flatlined
the coffee don’t hit just burns my chest
like my nerves forgot what it means to rest
i don’t cry just stare till the noise gives out
then talk to the walls till the doubt runs out
ain’t death that scares me it’s the crawl
that slow dissolve where you feel it all
the mail piles up the floor don’t speak
but the mirror’s been twitchin’ for half the week
i dress in layers to hold my shape
but the inside slippin’ like a warped mixtape
there’s no fix just shifts in strain
i don't heal i just carry the pain
tightrope balance with no parade
just grit in my teeth and a slow degrade

this pain don’t beg it waits
silent as a lock with a hundred gates
i’m the echo of tries that never stayed dead
draggin’ my name through a voice i fled
no fix no spark no pulse to fake
just the weight of a world i can’t seem to shake
i rise ‘cause the edge won’t cut me through
and i walk through hell like it’s all i knew

i tried to leave i swear i did
but the world holds tight with a vulture’s grip
no clean exits just failed goodbyes
and the pain grows teeth when the body survives

i write these bars like a last exhale
just proof i existed in the dark i hail
ain’t brave ain’t sane just motion-sick
floatin' through hours that never click
the silence loud like a friend with teeth
and my breath’s on loan to whatever's beneath
i don't move with purpose just don’t collapse
this ain't a march it's a slow relapse
i blink and a week unthreads my frame
can't feel joy just remember the name
still tap this beat with a half-wrecked hand
like it’s all i’ve got to help me stand
not searchin’ for light just space to sit
somewhere the ache don’t scream so quick
a place where the silence ain’t wrapped in fire
where the breath don’t burn and the voice ain’t tired

this pain don’t beg it waits
silent as a lock with a hundred gates
i’m the ghost of a scream that forgot how to break
draggin’ my name through a dream i fake
no prayer no plan no door to trust
just a rhythm i hum through the bones and dust
i rise ‘cause i’m chained to the breath i take
and i walk through hell like i never could wake

This Pain

Clowns in Hollowweird

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