Mood

i know that pull like a blade in the chest
forty-five minutes just eyein' the rest
bottle on the counter like it knew my breath
like it whispered come closer let's settle this death
ain’t about wantin’ it’s when need goes mute
and the air turns thick with a laced dispute
my hands didn’t shake but my ribs sure did
like the grief grew claws and crawled under my lid
some nights i stare 'til the drywall bends
and the ceiling starts speakin' like long-lost friends
sleep’s just a rumor hope’s on strike
and my shadow been swingin' like it wanna fight
ain’t no scream just a pressure tone
an amp for the cracked sung all alone
but i’m still here with a jaw half clenched
spittin’ ash on the dark where the edge got drenched

i wear the weight like it asked to stay
each breath says leave but my feet say wait
ain’t no clean escape no sacred grace
just a mouth full of blood and a haunted face

this pain don’t beg it waits
silent as a lock with a hundred gates
i’m the sound of a war that won't erase
draggin’ my name through a hollowed space
no light no hand no reason right
just breathin' through hours that sharpen the bite
i rise ‘cause the fall don’t finish me clean
and i walk through hell just to rot unseen

some days i wake like a glitch in time
can’t tell if i dreamed or just flatlined
the coffee don’t hit just burns my chest
like my nerves forgot what it means to rest
i don’t cry just stare till the noise gives out
then talk to the walls till the doubt runs out
ain’t death that scares me it’s the crawl
that slow dissolve where you feel it all
the mail piles up the floor don’t speak
but the mirror’s been twitchin’ for half the week
i dress in layers to hold my shape
but the inside slippin’ like a warped mixtape
there’s no fix just shifts in strain
i don't heal i just carry the pain
tightrope balance with no parade
just grit in my teeth and a slow degrade

this pain don’t beg it waits
silent as a lock with a hundred gates
i’m the echo of tries that never stayed dead
draggin’ my name through a voice i fled
no fix no spark no pulse to fake
just the weight of a world i can’t seem to shake
i rise ‘cause the edge won’t cut me through
and i walk through hell like it’s all i knew

i tried to leave i swear i did
but the world holds tight with a vulture’s grip
no clean exits just failed goodbyes
and the pain grows teeth when the body survives

i write these bars like a last exhale
just proof i existed in the dark i hail
ain’t brave ain’t sane just motion-sick
floatin' through hours that never click
the silence loud like a friend with teeth
and my breath’s on loan to whatever's beneath
i don't move with purpose just don’t collapse
this ain't a march it's a slow relapse
i blink and a week unthreads my frame
can't feel joy just remember the name
still tap this beat with a half-wrecked hand
like it’s all i’ve got to help me stand
not searchin’ for light just space to sit
somewhere the ache don’t scream so quick
a place where the silence ain’t wrapped in fire
where the breath don’t burn and the voice ain’t tired

this pain don’t beg it waits
silent as a lock with a hundred gates
i’m the ghost of a scream that forgot how to break
draggin’ my name through a dream i fake
no prayer no plan no door to trust
just a rhythm i hum through the bones and dust
i rise ‘cause i’m chained to the breath i take
and i walk through hell like i never could wake

This Pain

i thread on the shred where the screams dont leech
wrote dead notes in a nosound breach
built this name from a bonewhite draft cadaver crafted
no beat just pulse from the pressure shaft crushing the quiet
i ain’t war i’m the wrench the moment it ends
spoke in a hush that unstitched fraying friends
still got hands that twitch from collapse clutching the void
wrists don’t shake just map relapse razorlaced trails
dirt in the lungs but the breath still cuts slicing the silence
i don’t walk i drag what silence shuts shrouded and scarred
every step a nail in the tempo’s chest a death knell driven
this ain’t pride it’s whats left when you outlived rest a residue grim
stared down gods with a jaw uncracked cold and concealed
they blinked i blanked back

no path just ash
just scab
no light just lack
just slag
no threat just dread
just death
what’s left just cold

i don’t burn i carve the frames decay
not loud I scar and subtract the name
walked through ends echo bends blackened intent
i’m not heat i’m the coldest consequence
broke so clean even steel forgets its structure reset
my silence grips no failsafe holds
don’t ask where the gods all bled
i’m what speaks when the myth relents its legend dissolved

i left no mark but the chords still spoil
sound dont fade it just clings to a spot
to fester in walls infecting the breath
my voice dont shake it etches to death
never been safe just silent then wired
each step a loop in a choir disbarred
you chant your wins i count whats cursed
built my spine from the friction’s thread
ain’t no god in the core of pain
just a clink when the pulse disdains
you cheer for the rise i relish the fall
i don’t rhyme for the fight i recite the rot
half alive with a whole world cracked its promise undone
spit dust still they cheer collapse

no hope just hooks
no faith just fall
no plan just dust
no end just dread

i don’t warn i unravel the script
no shrine just a fissured void
i walk through thought till sense unbinds
no flame just mangled hands
built so stark that the laws recoil
no pulse just systems cracked
don’t ask where your truths once bled
i’m what comes when the world unwinds misunderstood

you begged for a reason a flicker to catch
i gave you a mirror then cracked the glass
carved your name in static a signal for none
then let the silence consume the name
the end didn’t take you
i just stopped keeping track

laid my mark in the marrow of sound
no altar no oath just the fracture crowned
spoke in the dark where belief won’t dwell
stripped each name from its living shell
i thread through endings with pulse unturned
no fire no frost just the axis burned
my shadow don’t follow it walks ahead
no tomb just a pattern where meaning bled
i don’t return i finish what waits
with hands that erase what time can’t trace
each step a rite in a world withdrawn
no flare no flag just a path gone
i am the silence that seals the pact
not the echo the one who never came back

no cause just drag
no voice just lag
no face just thread
no start just spread

i don’t burn i unmake the frame
not loud just the absence named
walked through the ends till the roots gave way
no throne just a crown of gray
built so stark that the light withdrew
no proof just a shape untrue
don’t ask where your meaning fled
i’m the silence when nothing’s left

nothing to scorch
i was just
the silence
where it went

Nothing Left to Scorch

felt it break when the silence snapped
you don’t fall in love you collapse
tongue like wine with a shrapnel grip
every kiss a debt you never quit
walked in clean with a halo glitch
sucker-punch grin and a bait-and-switch
every vow soaked black in the guilt you ditched
still i drank still begged for the pitch
hummed like a hymn with a noose for a hook
smiled while you gutted my spine for your book
my breath held ransom in your laugh’s disguise
you don’t love you vivisect ties
i stitched your name in a pulse gone dead
now it hums in the wound where my rhythm bled

you said i look best when frayed
said i shine more when i break
so i let you peel back the skin
just to echo in your wake

ever drown in a love you can’t defend?
ever taste the blade just to kiss the end?
ever wear their shame like it’s skin you own?
ever build a home out of sticks and bone?
i ain’t proud i just stayed through fire
called collapse love mistook ache for desire
now i scream your name in a borrowed tone
you weren’t worth the scar but i called it home

said pain was proof that the bond runs deep
then you siphoned joy like a vault you keep
you warped that truth to fit your frame
called it fate when you stitched your name
spined me backward ’til i cracked like glass
stood in flames just to make it last
i was whole 'til your echo grew
now i haunt myself in the shape of you

i let the wreck feel like rhythm
let the fall sound like wisdom
you mapped my chest like a script
then dragged me off the cliff

ever dive so fast you forget the air?
ever beg for fire from a vacant stare?
ever fake your joy just to keep them close?
ever bleed for hands that ghost your ghost?
you can’t love what you twist for thrill
i was fuel in your costume dressed to kill
now the burn spells truth on my throat like sin
and your name’s in the ash where the edge begins

i chewed through every warning sign
let you bloom inside my ruin’s spine
you split me sharp sang me in thirds
til my thoughts dissolved into slurred words
and still i’d crawl back through the flame
to the match to the glass to the holy shame
some of us don’t unlearn the wrong
we just learn to play dead where it don’t belong

i still see you when the glass panes twitch
still taste sin when i clench that itch
left my body like a jacket worn
then you ripped the seams just to feel reborn
you don’t call but your voice still lives
like a splinter in the gums of the love you give
i don’t heal i just dull the track
i don’t move on i just don’t react

you don’t haunt you rot
like a prayer time forgot
i hold the match you sparked
still waiting to inhale the dark

ever break where no one sees the crack?
ever lose yourself just to get them back?
ever carve your name just to match their sound?
ever kiss the fall just to feel the ground?
i ain’t proud but i kept that ember
your frost lit the void i still remember
you were wrong but i held the flame
called it love just to dodge the shame

wasn’t love
just a need with teeth
but i fed it
like it let me breathe
still bleeding
but the cut won’t sing
just silence
wrapped in your old gold ring


Ashes Where the edge Begins

i woke up mid scream breath held hostage
dreams rot sweet now they hiss and mock it
lungs won’t rise chest clenched in ash
fist on throat like a ghost’s cold grasp
clock ticks wrong time bends in a loop
grief got claws and it won’t let loose
skin don’t shake but my bones still twitch
mind went black stuck in this ditch

don’t need hope don’t lie don’t preach
i already know where the river leads

i’m not waving i’m not okay
i sink slow while they chant you’ll stay
can’t scream when your lungs beg quiet
grief ain’t fire it’s a lifelong diet
they stare through me like a cracked display
i rot soft where the strong decay
don’t pray don’t fix don’t swim beside
this pain was born to hold not hide

his eyes went dim but the world don’t flinch
every relapse cuts from an inside inch
i wear his war where my ribs forget
his breath is gone but the silence hasn’t left
grief don't sleep it curls like smoke
and the weight don't lift it just re strokes
hospital hallways echo my tread
counting the days since i wished him dead

they say love saves it just delays
what’s meant to drown still finds the waves

i’m not waving i’m not okay
i sink slow while they chant you’ll stay
can’t scream when your lungs beg quiet
grief ain’t fire it’s a lifelong diet
they stare through me like a cracked display
i rot soft where the strong decay
don’t pray don’t fix don’t swim beside
this pain was born to hold not hide

i watched the wires snake through his vein
he blinked slow then the sky turned grain
nothing left but his pulse on glass
while memory screamed through a muted past
i break too quiet for the world to catch
so i stitch in pain what i can’t dispatch
you all keep smiling while i descend
but i’m dying loud where your good days end

i saw god in a hospital floor
he looked like me just lost and sore
no wings no light just a back turned still
watching grief eat what it came to kill
don’t want signs don’t want a prayer
just a hole to sink just thinning air
don’t need truth don’t need the blame
just silence loud enough to scream my name

don’t quote peace don’t chant the lie
some of us weren’t meant to survive

i’m not waving i’m not okay
i sink slow while they chant you’ll stay
can’t scream when your lungs beg quiet
grief ain’t fire it’s a lifelong diet
they stare through me like a cracked display
i rot soft where the strong decay
don’t pray don’t fix don’t swim beside
this pain was born to hold not hide

don’t reach out
don’t fake the care
if i’m lost in here
just leave me there


This Pain

Clowns in Hollowweird