These two were chosen to wield these blades and now they use them to face each other. Shulk, the main hero of Xenoblade Chronicles, and Sora, the main hero of Kingdom Hearts. Which is the chosen one of this battle? That’s for you to decide.

LYRICS:

Shulk:
It’s Shulk’s time since your game is one I don’t care for
With the stupid complex story and a weak and cheesy moral
“Light can overcome the darkness” god you make me wanna barf
The only key that you don’t have is the one to Kairi’s heart
Disney and Final Fantasy? Who thought of this crossover?
Your franchise is overrated and nothing but mediocre
I had a vision, no surprise, you’re not winning this
Ask me about my chances and I’ll say I’m really feeling it!

Sora:
I’ll make this Simple and Clean, I feel like you’re just jealous
How come you can see things coming yet still fail to prevent it?
There’s no Monado Art that’s able to match my might
And apparently it wasn’t enough to save Fiora’s life
You diss about my franchise but for you, I’ll really mention
That yours is getting fanservice way more than Fire Emblem
You boast about your blade’s power but really, I’m not amazed
And you’re taking all the credit stealing Reyn’s catchphrase

Shulk:
By your third game, you’re grown up but still act like a kid
I’ll be sure to call you up whenever I need a locksmith
Your endless hours of gameplay was already enough
Why would people want to waste time playing your spin offs?
You’re a Nobody and you really have nothing on this
And your verses were more boring than the storyline with Roxas
I’ll call Dunban, Riki, all my crew in for a Chain Attack
You think Donald and Goofy are enough to fight back?

Sora:
I know they’ll be because my friends will always be beside me
Your bars had no soul, join Organization XIII
For five years, your game’s been dead cause no one gave a crap
Get the real vision Shulk, you’re just famous cause of Smash
I took down Hades twice and gone toe to toe with Hercules
You wouldn’t be alive right now due to your greatest enemy
My heart’s still alive and beating while your heart is growing weak
You still think you have me beat? To that I say….

Donald Duck:
Ah! Phooey!

Shulk:
You seem more stupid than anyone that’s a fan of ya
You lost all dignity when you’re dancing in Atlantica
Your feats aren’t that great, you don’t know what you’re dealing with
I mean one of your boss fights is an invisible chameleon
You’re fighting Heartless while I’m fighting giant robots
And the backstory with Xehanort is confusing as fuck
And if you really think I’ll be beat by the likes of you
Then your ego must must be bigger than the size of your shoes

Sora:
All of Shulk’s rhymes are sucking and after, Shulk will be sulking 
All cause Shulk is just salty he has a fanbase of nothing
Yes my games do take hours, that means more fun to be played
You just downgrade to a cameo in the expansion of the second game
Bring your Chain Attack with your crew to gang up on me
I’ll go into my Drive Form as I lay waste to your colony
This blade was given to me as part of my destiny
Unlocking all the answers and I guess you’d say I got the key

CAST:
TunnelBerg as Shulk
HyperJacob96 as Sora and Donald Duck (cameo)

Beat Produced by Audio Network

Shulk Vs Sora - A Rap Battle by B-Lo

LYRICS 

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1IFxWiWDrXj3XxGluxvStjCPF8Z-rqinNu9JTOK-NYsU/edit?usp=sharing

CREDITS

Vladimyr P. as Red
https://soundcloud.com/vladimyr-p
Lexi M. as Charizard
https://soundcloud.com/user-650786333-593076861
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfRZUTOJL1qAbDorCjlhGYQ
Light as Venasaur
https://soundcloud.com/ducky808
Raichous as Blastoise
https://soundcloud.com/kingraichous

Rabi As Kris
garbageGothic as Susie
https://soundcloud.com/garbagegothic
Tuna as Ralsei
https://soundcloud.com/tunattic
GamingPlush64 as Lancer
https://soundcloud.com/gamingplush64
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtWX7jJ5lodM_poQuXMTqjQ

Written by Rabi, B O R K, & GamingPlush64
https://soundcloud.com/borkrulesok
Mixed by Light
Beat by Dansonn
Thumbnail by Rabi

Red vs. Kris - Rap Battle

Welcome back to Half-Ass Rap Battles! Today we have the monochrome LCD character against the monochrome LSD character; Mr. Game & Watch vs Grey Man. Enjoy!

Raichous as Mr. Game & Watch
Mr. Tibbs (Gridline Studios) as Grey Man

Written by Commander Jacob w/ help from Zawesome
Mixed by Light
Prod. by Marsad Men

-LYRICS-

Game & Watch:
Parachute in to win, it’s an icon you’re fighting, man
This Fire man throws bacon, eggs, and fine raps off a frying pan
Been Ball-ing from the start. Where’ve you been? I can’t tell
As an expert, I can say fame’s something you’ve never handheld
This rapping trampoline lander’s smacking you like a 9 hammer
And your win’s a crazier dream than those of all your programmers
Slenderman in a trench coat? He only has one mode: stalk
Mister, watching your game has got me watching my own clock

Grey Man:
A fat-nosed shadow thinks that he's fit for battle? Boy I'll laugh
When I have him tripping and he still tries to fight with oil cans 
Ring your bell for help! I’m Krueger of the PlayStation
Leaving beats and dreams corrupted. Still think it's an emulation?
Here’s the red Flagman; you’ll get slaughtered just from napping
It’s one of your two functions; learn it’s time to stop rapping
I Violently Diss-strict. The pain won’t leave when you wake up.
Even people who play Smash have forgotten you like a brain flush

Mr. Game & Watch vs Grey Man | Half-Ass Rap Battle #3

(CONTEXT: https://i.redd.it/sxgappnq4mw11.jpg)

Welcome back to Half-Ass Rap Battles! Today we have a battle of the goofy mutilated murderers: MDHHCD vs Hash-Slinging Slasher

-LYRICS-

Man Door:
(Yo) whatcha gonna do, wave at me with your nub singed?
I got a handle on this battle; Man Door is unhinged
Oh look, more slime to spill down the Krusty Krab walls as usual
Frying and firing this fry cook like a 2nd funeral
My bars have got that secret sauce that you're lacking, huh?
You couldn’t flip a line if both of your hands were spatulas
Speed of Gary when you’re rhyming. Try to run from my sickle
You’re bout as scary as a pirate tryna come for my pickle (ugh)
Hop back on your bus, cuz you best be retreating
Don’t need Nosferatu, I’ll knock your lights out neatly
Let’s hope your verse is like your phone calls: no speaking
I’ll leave you in the dumpster, so good luck… sweaty

Hash-Slinging Slasher
Staying up… at night with THAT verse? Bad decision
But to be fair, it was longer than your story to begin with
How’s a guy with no name or design think he’s not losing?
Both raise our eyebrows: you with fear, me with confusion
Either learn better English or get slayed hard, bitch
If I let you in, be ready for a graveyard shift
And with your hook lodged in the door, it’s time that I sped up
I’m looking to see red like “dude, can I get some ketchup?”
I got your ass sprinting backwards like a gas-thieving bastard
Yo, you’re a trash-flinging rapper, and I’m the Hash-Slinging Slasher
Go back to stealing steres, you copypasta wannabe
I stopped the voice cuz I was nervous you’d keep spitting awfully


Light as Man Door hand Hook Car Door
Commander Jacob as Hash-Slinging Slasher
Zawesome as Ketchup Requester (cameo)
Written by Commander Jacob and Zawesome
Edited and thumbnailed by Commander Jacob
Mixed by Light
Prod. by 2Deep

Man Door Hand Hook Car Door vs Hash-Slinging Slasher | Half-Ass Rap Battles

Video dropping Halloween!

Light as Guts
Fightmarker as Doomguy

Beat Produced by: Audio Network
Written by: Dani Frias
Mixed by: Dani Frias
Thumbnail by: Rabi
Old Thumbnail by: SonicSmash
Flow Test by: Dani Frias

Lyrics:

Guts:
This ain’t the hell you’re used to, so I suggest you back off
The Black Swordsman is up against Master Chief only half off
I’m those spider demons you fight and you’re just a simple house bug
So tell me who stomps in this match if your NASA shit pulls the plug
You like easter eggs? Well go have a crack at this
I’ll John Romero this when I get a-head with all your hits
So step to me if you dare, just know it’ll be your last trip
Since my sword will hit the same lips that you’ll use to kiss my ass with

Doomguy: 
East verse west, Guts meets the best
It’s a gunfight, yet you bring swords to compete against
Soundtrack from Mick Gordon with songs that he made from his lip
up fighting worse english than Chinese bootlegs? This’ll be a trip
So let’s get the party going, I won’t leave this battle floored
Griffith fucked your girl first since your dick ain’t big as your sword
Followed by your 2016 show that shouldn't have left the station
I’d say to walk away if I didn’t have to see that animation
Rip and tear through tactics, Guts’ guts will sure be bleeding, 
The ugliest one-eyed motherfucker since the Cacodemon
and it seems you lack cohesion with a new swordsman to switch to
So don’t call yourself the goat, kid, I’ve history killing him too
 
Guts:
My back hurts, but I don’t think I got it from those lines
It’s from carrying my team while yours keeps dying all the time
and keep my name out your mouth like you think you’re some kind of bruiser
Named Doomguy, marine, and slayer, but I’ll truly call you loser
You’re on Falcon’s territory, I’m so fly when I go diss you
Fight with no breaks while you fight Snake over a little shih tzu
You don’t know jack about me, take your vengeance somewhere else and fade
Too bad you’re stuck in hell with none to say you fell down to my blade

Doomguy:
Aww, don’t cry now. Your fans might make that meme again, dude
Sword Art Online took your name and now you’re mad I’ll take your shit too
I’m glad you took your research but let’s note down something well
Between us, who’s the one that actually surpassed through hell?

Guts vs. Doomguy - #6

Oh yeah we going to space for this one
Mancha as Sinistar
King Mewtwo as Ego the Living Planet
Beat produced by Tristan on the Track
Thumbnail by Trakked
Mixed by Dani Frias 
Written by Trakked, Kamren, ColeDaCole and WDRB

Battle:

Sinistar:
Beware coward, this small villain will fall victim to my hunger 
I’ll throw Sini-bombs at this planetoid; lightyears asunder!
You better Run Run Run! Not even your Alter-Ego can stop me
For my Eternal power shall destroy this puny planet's Galaxy 
It’s a travesty that such a being couldn’t be a strong foe
Beat by a space pirate? That’s what I’d call a fragile Ego
You're a sick minded fraud, went out a Boomer like your status
Not even glitches could rebirth since you've already turned to ashes

Ego:
Tried to scare in the 80’s, yet even with that, computer,
You’re the “star” of a forgotten game; an unoriginal space shooter
If a spacecraft can beat you, then you’ll revel to my power,
Decimated into decimals, never played beyond an hour

Sinistar:
Beware, I live!; And you claim my game is infamous?
I may be the metal boss, but you’re sure picking up rust!
I’ll bust into your core, before you dare fathom to wreck this,
How come you try to take risks when I eat planets for breakfast? 

Ego:
You're just an underpowered entity, a frail-minded Galactus
So I'll trash this scrap metal; I could destroy you with magnets!
Barely shoddy, with my Anti-Bodies swarming 'round this virus,
Deleting all weak-shelled copies of this pathetic bot who’s mindless
Your claim to fame's only a game, while my legacy evolves
No glitches can save you, watch you while all of your lives dissolve
A win trapped in Imaginationland; this pathetic feud is over
And it concludes with me having this star meet a supernova

Sinistar vs Ego - Rap Cypher: REBOOT #12

Light as Roronoa Zoro
Malina Rose as Erza Scarlet

Beat Produced by: Anywaywell
Written by: Dani Frias and Dargon
Additional Writing Help by: Henry, Oookm, and Creep Switch
Mixed by: Dani Frias
Thumbnail by: ColeDaCole

Lyrics:

Zoro:
I feel that I gotta inform those, if you mess with Roronoa, you get torn slow
and Miss Erza Scarlet right here looks like she could just be another dojo 
It's Zoro, me and the Straw Hats finna pull up at your home, so drop the tension
I won't lose to a girl who tries to carry her team by the power of...friendship?
I save trains, so you know I'm running a track,
While you're training now so you can run and attack
I'm better off goin' on without parents than ending up related to a parasite so wack 
Can't destroy the beat without destroying your town
You're lucky that you have me since I'm doing it now
Changing your armor but still look like a clown
While I just need a durag so shit can go down 
So let’s make it clear that I'm Zoro, Miss, leaving my mark like El Zorro, Miss
Should've made your ugly ass the many monsters that you were you able to go solo with
But if you want a match,
Let our swords clash, 
One shank to the chest and your breath's traveled
and in case you still wanna think you'll leave alive, you can check the Death Battle

Erza:
I won't allow getting an inch near me, call me Sanji, I'm gonna cook this man
This vice captain got nice cappin', though, get back on your ship and fix a plan
Got so lost, you showed up on Fairy Tail, I'm just keeping it real between us
I'm firing shots like a Jupiter Cannon, can't be that godly when strung up like Jesus
Don't think you're slashing blades against an S Class to your Worst Generation
I feel pity so you could take my Requip and go turn into not a disgrace and
Get out my sight, please, it's obvious that you'll fall when you fight me, I'd say to bite me
But with that weapon in your mouth it seems that your teeth are the only thing mighty
Got 1, 2, 3 swords but be warned, 'cause you still can't get through me
Don't matter, though.
You'd be too busy using the forth one in your pants to go swordfight Luffy
Like your manga name, you'll take the L, Zolo. But I know you would otherwise
'Cause I'm no girl you can par with, 
I put the scar in Scarlet; 
Best keep a lookout for your other eye

Zoro:
I'm a pirate hunter, while your crew can't pass the sea nor step to me without a beach episode
I won't look out for what you swing at me 
I should be written out of here too like the arcs I'm not in 'cause I'm best in flow
Took Luffy's pain, it didn't hurt as bad as hearing you, it's apparent
Rockin' a wedding dress but we both know you and Jellal still fucked before marriage 
It's best you stop and put those eye jokes to rest, pretty sure yours is faker than your breasts
Straight out the Marines 
So you don't want a war against someone who could leave one giant mess
Must be a slave again 'cause you're not making any cents. 
At least when you were, you weren't asking for this
So I'll help you thinkin 'bout your own funeral again 
‘cause the only dub you'll take is the Miss Fairy Tail Contest

Erza:
Rapping is one of your weaknesses, go kneel down to me and pay respects
Giving you the boot when I'm kicking your nuts 'til your voice ends up higher than Pica's is
I wouldn't say you’re a genius,
It's pathetic that you'll make like Natsu after you've been checked
Give it a rest, I could call you Kuina once you take some steps
Sit down and best watch your language, ay
Slice you like a Jersey Mike's sandwich, ay
Me and my guild won't fall down and give up the crown 
to someone who's been playing outlandish games
But I guess this is where you fail, as it seems that it's too late give me at least some peace
Ironic, I'll have you die to my sword and then you'll be anything but One Piece

Zoro vs. Erza - #7

Alex the Beast as Machamp
Dani Frias as Galarian Farfetch'd

Machamp:
My opponent’s a lowlife alola- galarian?
Smoke it with no fists, my toe tip could bury him
Pokemon’s GOAT, leaving foes without any limbs
Won’t waste my focus on no vegetarian

Farfetch’d:
Sure, keep insulting me like I’m the weak fighter
Only thing you’re good at breaking’s mirrors, Meat Spider
But if you’re gonna just continue laughing when we brawl
Well, then we’ll see who’s the gag when I evolve
Sirfetch’d:
I’ll strike at this tacky undeveloped sore sissy
With his gigantamax form looking like a gormiti 
Looks to me like you missed boxing 101, so I’d better state
Strapping a geodude to your back doesn’t make you heavyweight
Heh, at this point, Frankenstein should just pack up
With that mug, not even my beak could match up
Don’t wanna get intense cause this feud is petty
I’ll put down my sword and I’ll give you a wedgie

Machamp:
So Flour Power wants to say he’s improved
He just turned into the bad ending of playing with food (ha!)
Face with the ride me eyes, lay down your dying hype
Flimsy and weak, a disgrace to the fighting type
Basically Flying, why you in the first place?
Close to my level? You belong in a bird cage
This joke in the game’s shot at smoking my fame?
Want the answer? You got it in your own fucking name
I’m peak performance, your leek’s your offence
So maybe think twice before you beef enormous
Muscles I’m rocking that make my foes shudder, stunned
Sport Bird’ll wish he accepted the other guns
Squirt you’re a runner up, look at you all huddled up
Ready up a thunder punch, decimate this rubber duck
Coming in to rumble with an onion and some puffing up
Living example of how to speedrun a couple punctured lungs
This is a wild tourney, can you touch me in this state?
I’ve seen more agile birdies on a fucking dinner plate
While I don’t hesitate to leave a foe bleeding grim
There’s a reason I’m the ace in your own region’s gym

Sirfetch’d:
You’ve got no bars when dissing me, quit the bitch fit
Thought your no guard ability meant you didn’t miss hits
I’m the example? Well that just drives me up the wall
If you were a role model there’d be steroids in lunchables
Ooh, bud you stand lesser, not even my ancestor
Bring out all four of ‘em, I’ve seen Hitmonlee throw hands better
500 punches per sec? That’s blowing my mind
Cause last time I checked, your attack’s lower than mine (ay)
I flow in my lines like the flow in my mind when I strike with precision and leave you a sad sight
You flail your punches and fail to touch this, your fighting position’s more fit for a slap fight
It’s a slight stretch to act like Registeel 
Maybe I’ll use your body as my next veggie shield
So you’d better yield, it was a good game though
But it didn’t take a flying move to leave this gym teacher K.O.’ed

Written by Psytube
Mixed by Dani Frias
Cover Art by Rabi
Beat by Marsad Men

Machamp vs Galarian Farfetch'd - Pokémon Rap Battle

Welcome, weary travelers, to the first installment of Ciphers Of The Unknown. Today we have two anomalies of the Minecraft universe going pixel-to-pixel in this rap battle. Who won? Who's next? Well, I guess you'll find out in the next Ciphers Of The Unknown!

Production:
Raichous as Herobrine
Snakebite126 as Shitass


Cover Art by Michael Stark
Written by: Michael Stark
With additional help from: MetaMachine, GamingPlush64, and SimplyRazzy
Beat produced by Tristan
Mixed by GamingPlush64

LYRICS:
ANNOUNCER
Welcome, weary traveler, to Ciphers of the Unknown
Today's matchup is: Herobrine
Versus
Shitass
Commence!

Herobrine (0:13 - 0:53):
Stepping from the sHadows, Herobrine has come to spit a rhyme
Just step to my shrine, and then you’ll find who is STILL in their prime
It’s time to speedrun this verse, please tell me, I’m baffled:
Hey Shitass... wanna see how a true cryptid rap battle’s?
Coming out of the mineshafts, you’re bound to die fast; come at me, you’ll end up worse and
You can check the signs that I’m fully fledged out while you look like you’re stuck in the first draft
So just go to your corner and whine, brat; you’re just a shitty memE with a smile cracked
While, bitch, I’ll give you a mind blast; I’m ownin’ the game, call it Brine-craft!
Herobrine! Just hearing my name makes players piss their pants!
Your gimmick’s only played for laughs, you’re just an insignificant ant
Just peer amidst the trees, you’ll find my pyramids with ease
I’ll be jammin’ to disc 11 with all my victims BOWING on their knees

Shitass (0:53 - 1:21):
Was that your whole verse? Man, that was the worst
You’re about to end up like your stupid memes... heckin’ cursed
You just teleport like the Enderman, a copy of a copy
My powers you can’t comprehend,  I make your cheesy shit look sloppy
You call yourself scary? Well, Error 404, this Entity’s not found
Stick your victory in your 2x2’s, in the catacombs buried deep underground
This bug’s gettin’ patched out, no more child-like schemes
Just Look through all my videos, you’ll see I’m the expert at crushing Dreams

Herobrine (1:21 - 1:48):
I’m the sole reason you even stand (stand), I’m trapping your soul in the sand (sand)
You’re digging a hole straight through the ground with how shittily your disses land (land)
You’re delusional, you don’t bed-rock, I’m putting you in a deadlock
Capture ya, body ya, disPerse your pixels, and outline you with red chalk
You could never amount to my fame, even your name proves you’ve got no class
Just look at ya: shit design, zero lore, and not to mention rhymes that’re absolute ass
Don't bother to try and come back, your fame ended with TikTok, didn’t you know?
(Laughs) There’s no Surviving this Hardcore Mode

Shitass (1:48 - 2:28):
You’re tunneling for disses, but still ended up empty-handed (Ooh!)
The true Unsolved Mystery is how you survived when your relevance crash-landed (Ha!)
Now it’s time for my Meat harvest, turning you into a carcass
Tried to amount to the creator’s brother, but it seems you missed the Mark-us
You need to update your rhymes old man, because those lines were dated as hell
You’re stuck in an open beta, clickbaiting children, anyone can tell
I’ll post your defeat online, get that clout, with these Reddit Gold-en Apple bars
You may have started a horror genre, but I’m the one shootin’ for the stars
Can’t remove my blocks, “Hero-whine”, so why you gotta griEve, man?
When all it takes is two pixels and boom! You’re back to Steve! (Damn!)
You may have started off as a joke, but now I’m the one who’s laughin’
Now without you in the picture, it’ll be my win they’ll be photographin’

ANNOUNCER
Who won this blocky battle?
Who Should Cypher Next?
Comment Down Below
And prepare yourselves for the next
Ciphers of The Unknown

Herobrine vs Shitass | Ciphers Of The Unknown

Welcome back to Half-Ass Rap Battles! Today we have a battle of Nintendo's lesser-known parts of their handheld consoles; the Gameboy Camera vs Flipnote Studio. Enjoy!

-LYRICS-

GBC:
Yo. I point at you and shoot your bars down one-by-one
And when I snap, I don’t gotta ask Who You’re Running From
Off your store and went away, you’ll get erased from your separate page
I’m bringing hella flames on MS Paint with extra frames
I pioneered cameras leaving every face with smiles
While Hatena users were like “XD Gangnam Style”
Wait, I was more able to get on a console? Damn bruh
Smile! You got ass-whooped by Gameboy Camera!

Flipnote:
I ain't afraid again, I’ll keep on rhyming ‘til the end
I flow like water, I’m too fly. I’ll keep on dissing ‘til you die
A verbal drop kick is all I need to clap back
I didn’t frog hop on a track to fight monochromatic Snapchat
Ya know what’s sadder than a Shy Guy with no phone?
I’ll call Guinness to report “least pixels in a photo”
I only need three colors to beat ya red, blue, and black! Ouch
May be out of Print these days, but you still just got Stamped-out

Commander Jacob as Gameboy Camera
YouTube: www.youtube.com/channel/UCpjj...
SoundCloud: @commanderjacob
Twitter: twitter.com/commander_jacob

Fightmarker as Flipnote Studio
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfRZ...
Twitter: https://twitter.com/THEFIGHTMARKER
SoundCloud: https://soundcloud.com/fightmarker

Written by Commander Jacob and MetaMachine
Thumbnail by Commander Jacob
Mixed by GamingPlush64
Prod. by Kustom

Gameboy Camera vs Flipnote Studio | Half-Ass Rap Battles

Thumbnail by Fightmarker 

Lyrics by everyone

Freshy Kanal
Commander Jacob
Zawesome
Brooke Morgan
Zim 11037
Snakebite126
GengoMain
Fightmarker
Matthew Thomas
DNA_Fox
Little Secks
Rabi
Sebb
Mancha
JChay
Vladimyr P.

Battle Of The Year 2020 Thank You Speech

Home of Lame-Ass Rap Battles, its side series Half-Ass Rap Battles, and maybe the occasional cover of someone else's battle.

Gameboy Camera vs Flipnote Studio | Half-Ass Rap Battles

Commander Jacob

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