Bonus rap battle spin-off of Lame-Ass Rap Battles. More goofy match ups, one verse each, no announcer, and is likely to have episodes better than the main series.

Half-Ass Rap Battles

Welcome back to Half-Ass Rap Battles! Today we have a battle of annoying companions; Navi from The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time vs Clippy, forgotten assistant of Microsoft Office. Enjoy!

garbageGothic as Navi
Commander Jacob as Clippy
Written and thumbnailed by Commander Jacob
Mixed by GamingPlush64
Prod. by Lucy Beatz

-LYRICS-

Navi:
Hey! Wake up! To believe you're better, you must've been asleep forever
It’s funny how this paper clip can’t get his sheet together
Microsoft thought “he’s the best solution for confusion”
Then they moved on to Cortana; Combat THAT Evolution
I mean, which sounds more useful: tips for using a longsword
Or popping up to pester about using the wrong “your?”
You’d think your googly eyes would help you see me sparkling
I’m locking on to this lost kid: Z-list targeting
When it comes to navigators, you’re not topping Navi, honey
Can’t even swing in the same tree as BonziBuddy
Look, listen when I'm dissin', I'll leave The Fucking Clown in heaven
In rap, you have no XP like it's 2007

Clippy:
Clippy’s blicky’s getting clicky when I appear and disrupt her
Seems you need lesson in basic lyrical structure
So stop all the bottled up blabbering when we're battling
Your whole role needed that red squiggle; my bad for Tatl-ing
Run from me like I'm Ganon and see that you're way beyond errant
Clippy Turner gonna wish away this Fairly Odd Parent
Catch me with a hyperlink and you're sent to a rad place
You got a hyper Link? He’s belting at grass blades (HYAAAH!)
Your only purpose was to sit on top the kid’s dome
By the Time you hit the Temple, that and you flew out the window
I mean, he can search the woods, but he don't really got time
But he might find more trees for you to worship and watch die

Navi vs Clippy | Half-Ass Rap Battles

Hello everyone and welcome to another episode of FRB vs Anything, which pits rap battle community members against well...anything. Today's battle sees esteemed rap battle VA garbageGothic go up against....who cares, just listen to the battle.

CAST:
garbageGothic: Herself
The Battle Pass: Xhack
Written by: JustGamer
Additional help by: MetaMachine
Mixed and Mastered by: Zagranis
Beat arranged by: GlitchDude
Beat produced by: Kustom
Cover Art by: Nooby

LYRICS:
Battle Pass: 
Looks like the season’s restarted, cause I’m seeing bottom tier
This joke is the most attention that you’ve gotten in years
I’m all about hard work, not that that’s something you know
Only opened commissions cause you can’t handle all your roles
It’s clear your range for impressions is starting to run dry
Voicing Toad a lot but you’re not a fun guy
While we’re at it, let me point out another contradiction
How is FRB’s most overused voice actor a woman?!

garbageGothic:
Your lines were emptier than the Free Pass rewards
100 levels of cosmetics is all you build towards  
And as you make the parents’ bank accounts start to get charged
Kids are refunding V-bucks straight into V-cards!
I do more than rap battles, like podcasts and song covers
But Camp Here and There sounds more like the strategy of your players
Well I’m no gamer girl, so maybe I just don’t get it 
Unlike the ones on Twitch that ditched your game for Apex Legends

Battle Pass:
I’ll bring back the drum gun, then you can fire shots that hurt me
Between being green and trashy humor, you’re Oscar the Quirky
Though I’d say garbageGothic is quite a fitting name for you 
Especially since it came from a Homestuck job...ew 
Been a Battle Star from the start and I still remain trendy
But from your start to now, all of your fame came from Eddie
I got all sorts of goodies that are free for collection
But even I can’t top the number of your weekly obsessions 

garbageGothic:
Holy Shit! Is that a fucking Will Wood reference? 
You’re losing as a meme to the shield gaining beverage  
I’d rather listen to Ninja raging than to hear you rap more
Kick you off this track, like your time on the App Store
Tried to gain new life with lore but your game just died faster
You got XP, I got years of experience as a rapper
Only time you’ll pop off is when your players win 
And you can’t even be honest about selling reskins

Battle Pass:
Was that a verse or a shitpost you’ll put on YouTube?
It says a lot how none of the lines are written by you
This isn’t a Royale but I’ll still be getting a Victory 
With that Demon Slayer Abridged, you’ll never take the dub, gG

garbageGothic:
Despite all the properties you have, you can’t seem to own me
I’d feel more intimidated battling in court against Peely 
Always an outdated stolen gimmick that’s a slog to use 
It’s clear I won, no need for a chapter two

garbageGothic vs The Battle Pass. FRB vs. Anything.

Space princesses who rebel against galactic empires aboard iconic spaceships.

BrookeMorganVA as Rosalina
garbageGothic as Princess Leia 
Special Inquisitor Rayyan as Luma
Written by Special Inquisitor Rayyan 
Additional writing help by the SIR Rap Battles Crew
Mixed by Special Inquisitor Rayyan
Beat by Anywaywell

This battle is kinda long, so here's the doc for the lyrics: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1s-U-ZhmTb9-bu0wAzAt2FZTbvjhwh6XwxmA1dOE-GPU/edit?usp=sharing

Rosalina vs Leia. SIR Rap Battles (ft. BrookeMorganVA and garbageGothic)



King Mewtwo as Postman Pat

RaccoonBroVA As the Unabomber

Beat by: Dansonn

Written by: RNG
Help from: King Mewtwo and Special Inquisitor Rayyan
Mixed by: Zagranis



Pat: (0:22)
It's not a great day in Greendale with Theodore John Kazynski 
I’m the master of the mail I’ll be delivering disses see?
I got a black and white cat, you're just a black sheep
The UNA-BUM of the Freedom Club can't best me
Your brain got twisted by 3 years of torture
When you got sick as a kid it messed you up even more so
If being sick was the cause of all your bombing murder sprees
What makes you think trying to spit sick won't also bomb verbally?
I run my rounds on this beat it's not my tires that are poppin
Cause on the microphone i'm a Greendale Rocket
With a diss on flow 
there's an L through your door, and this one wont blow 

Ted: (0:55)
Wait, who is this, some british bitch made for kids?
Theres nothing fucking to him how am i supposed to diss
Oh well i guess for killing a beat i'll take another guilty plea
Cause for a postman you have terrible delivery
You embody the thing that I hate the most Pat
Mindless nothing of a children's show Pat
Tech filled entertainment taking meaning from life
With fake “education” slowly melting away minds
Then you were made worse when you became CGI    
I'm not surprised computers took away any of your life
Yet it seems you’re out of date most people leave you forgot
Even I’ve been alive years after your show’s motion stopped

Pat: (1:28)
Ted that wasn't very nice, but I’m not talking about your crimes
When You’ve not had 16 lines but you bombed 16 times
I'm doing my dream job while you just dropped from yours
I provide for my family while you leeched off of yours
I teach kids lessons in being kind and growing up
You teach people horrid lessons by blowing them up
I diss sharp on a track that i run like my van
Movement ended by your brother, should be used to backstabs

Ted: (1:50)
A Clifftons loss usually upsets me but not when
you clowned with Ted like you had to make cash for your execs 
You talk of my family and how "backstabbing brought my end"
But you gave a ginger kid to one of your blonde friends
And you wish to diss my methods of saving humanity 
When you do nothing for the world mindlessly sitting there happily
Watching an episode of yours is an insanity plea
But we’re done here i want back in my cell for some peace



The Unabomber vs Postman Pat - RNG Rap Battle

The authors of unknown and incomprehensible horrors face off in a rap battle.

JustGamer as Junji Ito
Tony Rigatoni as H. P. Lovecraft (video)
RaccoonBroVA as H. P. Lovecraft (audio)
Written by Special Inquisitor Rayyan. Oofie, MaviKartal2003
Additional writing help by Cri, WDRB and M&Matt 
Research done by MaviKartal2003
Edited by Oofie and Special Inquisitor Rayyan
Mixed by Zagranis
Beat by Beatg33kz
Cover art by KCToons

Junji Ito (0:15):
Ito’s flow gets dough you didn't know
So I’ll hit you with unseen horrors
Walk through my rap mountain and be a tourist
You made the mold, now like Amigara, I’mma leave it broken!
Notice, how an inspiration
Like my own set of manga collection
Able to beat your whole sheet of mythical beasts
With classics like Uzamaki and Tomie! 
Yeah sure, later on you had an impact
But from your early life, you were in fact
Never able to sustain yourself
Until you died, dust stayed on your shelves
For Lovecraft’s entire life, he was far too poor and sickly
Many games came from his work, but Howard couldn’t keep his HP

H. P. Lovecraft (0:44):
From even the greatest of horrors irony is seldom absent.
The lines recited were hypocrisy when even YOU look up to me!
Horrors were actually scary back when
I was in charge, and not this sick man’s discharge
But now the OG H.P. is back in 
Can’t stand up to me even with legs on fish, sharks!
I crafted a genre, shocked readers for ages
Instilling dismay when they’re flipping the pages
A shame, you lent your work to Kojima’s game
Then it all went to shit and it left fans outrageous 
I summon ocean flow that crashes down harder than Cthulhu
whereas you flopped even harder than the anime horror collection’s debut!
Lovecraft’s the horror god! Show you this roarer’s thoughts
This wit doesn’t miss, forging the motherfuckin’ Necronomicon
Fostering these flocks of hellspawn
The juggernaut of fear, undermine whatever you have drawn
Writing talent that just can’t be likened
Make like your finale and storm out here frightened 
Dental technician but you pack no bite
Ito’s got a kickin’ from this hallow’s fright!

Junji Ito (1:28):
Those fillers in your rap made it drier than City of Pillars
But judging from my manga Shiver, they’ll call me a serial killer
You went from the Nameless City 
To the readers going: “Name less shit, please!”
With those mythos, you couldn’t spit flow
Your films were a shitshow, it shows!
Can’t keep up the pace, of course you’re a race-ist
Who couldn’t give needs to his family for days, and
You only cursed the paper writing on it
While HP still haunts paper across the nation!
That tumour had left you for dead (Ah!)
Gyo is filled up with dread! (Ah!)
The cats have all become my friends (Aw!)
But with your cat’s name: enough said! (Ah...)

H. P. Lovecraft (1:57):
How can your little Inside Story cast a Shadow Over the Titan of Horror? 
When every story in your inventory's simply body gore porn? (Eugh…)
I got pitted against a peculiar lonely fanatic of cats
Who’s eaten from so much of my work: call you Junji Itadakimasu!
A Beast In The Cave and a beast on the beat
Shan’t need The Alchemist to Love-craft your defeat
Junji’s just jealous that he can’t compete
When I’ve got whole subgenres named after me
Seen better Uzumakis from Naruto, so what makes you think you’re superior?
But now I end this rap battle as the Cthulhu to this inferior!

Junji Ito vs H.P. Lovecraft. SIR Rap Battles (ft. JustGamer & RaccoonBroVA)

WHO WON?
Winner moves on to the next round!
[POLL CLOSED]

Kamren :
If I could count how many battles I've been in, well...I'd at least be known
Though you'd can't say the same when you got upstaged by Henry Jones
Got placed on the greylist, now I know the world isn't black and white
But knowing your interest in calamity, I couldn't think of a better Punishment Time!
Now I get where you're coming from so I won't dwell too long on the past
Yet with so many name changes, I might as well be fighting against Rat
So come on! Give me the cold shoulder Icer, guess Leo should've told ya
That when I'm battling an atheist, a lyrical hell is gonna start freezing over
Jade can't save you from this fade, finna take down ENNWAY My Way
Arranged a tourney of fools to disgrace and Mint's inclusion was a waste
So know that when the day rises, I'll be moving on with my craft
And you'll be stuck adding thousands of hours to poor man's Minecraft

Mint :
Lemme be honest mate, you’re wrong if you think that you’re harming me
When you come from modding and game design, verses that unfun? Pretty hard to take
I’m steadily treading away from my worst shit || It took you years to come up with your first shit
So you best quit firing shots at Mint and take the gloves off, go and freshen up your verses!
I’m well versed in hurting myself by disrespecting
But I’ve barely heard shit worse than your Baldi impression
All your FRBs and you can’t count a single win see
Ask this Reddit boy ‘bout karma when deez nuts slap you silly
Tried to make smoke in two battles with TheAngryMidget || But after Dustin vs Jacob you couldn't hit it
Spitting out fire like I'll leave you having double vision || I could make a better fucking banger than you without lyrics
You took your talent, went to shit sir
Good thing all those loathsome raps faded down to a whisper, yeah

Kamren the Person vs. ENNWAY | FRB Brawl - Round 1

This the remix. Fingers crossed that the video comes out Halloween. No promises.

Mr. Tibbs as Alucard
Snakebite126 as Death the Kid
MetaMachine as Ryuk 

Beats Produced by: hala-X and 2Deep
Written by: Dani Frias
Mixed by: Dani Frias
Flow Test by: Dani Frias
Thumbnail by: Jason Carreon

Lyrics:

Alucard:
Now this is a good night, I'll come strapped for this bit
In a bit, I'll have you crying, so I'll call you The Kid
I don't think I got the right person, I've turned into kids but it's certain
Your show is for sweaty nerds who I just look at and ask "are you a virgin"
This meister's got a higher power on his shoulder 
So colder, you think you rock the mic but I'm the boulder
Can't even hold your guns right, so what shots will you be bringing
You took down Anubis? Ha, I destroyed all of fucking England 
Hey, don't know what your spirit is, uh, asking for it but here it is, ay
Got 2 girls controlling your soul so OCD don’t leave you finished, it's 
Quite funny in a way, so killing you's nothing major
You'd probably just ditch this fight to check your toilet paper

Death:
This match will be one-sided, asymmetrical, disgusting 
Hope those Vietnam flashbacks won’t lead to your fall and rusting
But no, you want to diss me ‘cause of some toilet paper?
You can take those raps and shove them up your ass, Vlad the Impaler
I got two pistols beside me that kill you if you slowly slip
You got one up your ass by a priest, call that holy shit
I know you’re a man who treats Satan like food but damn you
Go dip for another two episodes, I went back to land better than you

Alucard:
I'm immortal, why would I lose to Death? Don't even use your breath
Thinkin’ that you the best, but this ain’t no basketball game you could move against
I bring a new meaning to killer so what do you have in mind plannin’?
Since what you’ve rapped was filler, and bitches love canons
What’s a skateboard to blood armies? It just ain’t worth it
I’m serving you while you’re serving some underaged fanservice
Leave you bleeding with the moon, Kid, no need for me to repeat this
While you see that I’m immune, it’s time the E.A.T Class gonna eat this

Death:
I can’t take crap from someone who got outlived by a Nazi Neko
You’re a dog with a red suit on, I’ll drop you off back at Petco
Since I'm here ending your mania, play your game like Castlevania 
Go tell Helsing you failed when I unload rhymes and bullets to your cranium
I’m getting reaper powers and you’re just an old lady’s slave
You’ll just be another soul I get down your own shady lane
Walking on the wrong street, so I’ll fling this back at ya
If you don’t end up reversing it like your name is Dracula
Don't think I won't fight you, I see it in your eyes, dude
While I'm standing so high, you are just Corpse Husband's waifu
It’s night night, Edward Cullen, time to put you out the limelight
And kill Alucard once and for all, still a better end than Twilight

Ryuk:
You’ve taken quite a liking to this rapping
Only for a spirit like me to come cut the cord
Looking from above, I saw you both lacking
And now I’m taking your souls back in my Death Note ‘cause I’m bored, heh
Tell Death’s son I’m the god of it, best that he stops with that awful shtick
Begone with it
While I be takin’ names, you’d be shivering in fear if you've forgotten it
A zombie’s quite sloppy when facing a Shinigami, no sympathy when I see rottin’ bodies
Since Hellsing’s star will hear hell’s screams if he thinks he can top me
Creatures like you guys are surely interesting, almost like Light when you get a kill
Getting all greedy when given some powers but now you can see it’s regrettable
So put the magic and weapons down, seems you used them poorly in battle
As I took the mic and rapped to its core; Hey, Light, pass me an apple

Alucard vs. Death the Kid - #13

VIDEO: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uhp8bzi00ws

Cloud17 https://soundcloud.com/nube17 como Freddy Fazbear
Zhrine como Bonnie
GasuPyon como Chica
TicciFandubs https://soundcloud.com/ticcisparks87 como Foxy

CyanCoat y The5oul como los fantasmas

Escrito por CyanCoat y The5oul

Lyrics (translated, not adapted) to English:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1X6BJMqIXRaETYCmIINEd2s7SntaTu68zVKi-92DsFOk/

ANIMATRÓNICOS:
(Freddy)
Estos mancos de namco no tienen que hacer!
Pues SOY YO el oso de Oro que sacudió Internet!

(Bonnie)
Será como Super Pills cuando Bonnie tire el bajo
Si mi ritmo Blues los deja azúl con un tinte "morado"

(Chica)
y “Vamos a Comer” esta Chica diría
pero correrían al ver una pizza!

(Foxy)
Y más vale que huyan bien, porque mi velocidad...
...NINGÚN AUTO DE ADAM SANDLER LA PODRÁ SUPERAR!
Somos el terror icónico de los 2010!
Lo único que ustedes pueden ofrecer es estrés!

(Chica)
¿Y la gente se queja de nuestras secuelas
Aun con sus Spin Offs y Ports en cadena?

(Bonnie)
Entiéndanlo, espectros, no dan miedo
Siendo caricaturescos, qué hay de nuevo, viejos?

(Freddy)
Es la Noche 1, más no pasarán ni Cinco Líneas
Cuando la Familia Fazbear rockea la Pizzería!

FANTASMAS:
Blinky! Pinky! Inky! Clyde!
(B) Somos los enemigos más clásicos que hay
(I ) Pues somos pioneros del imperio de los videojuegos
(B) Su imperio son frikis dando gritos falsos en videos!
(P) Caricaturescos? No tienen espejos?
(C) No puedo creer que el Oso Yogi quiera mordernos!
(I ) Scott los diseñó basado en fracasos previos?
(B) Que mal que a sus fans no pueda dar el mismo tratamiento!
(P) Búrlense de Pixels, con tu peli que pasó?
(P) Tanto tiempo en producción, y va a ser una decepción
(P) Es decir, en serio un éxito es lo que esperan?
(C) El cine ya teme a un Freddy, y ese no eres tú! 
(B) PERRA!
(C) Escritor Fantasma, llámame MatPat
(C) Rap que abre quijadas como 2Pac, Man!
(I ) Ni la mordida del "87" repugna tanto
(B) Como las mordidas que se dieron en la "34"!

ANIMATRÓNICOS:
(Bonnie)
¿Hablar de la mordida?, viven en el pasado
¿Qué esperar cuando su IA no avanza en 40 años?

(Chica)
"Aventuras Fantasmales", porque tras los 90
No hay quien haya visto a su franquicia viva de vuelta!

(Foxy)
¿Relación con los fans? este Pirata los arruina
cual Miss Pacman, y ahora espero un contrato en su compañía!

(Freddy)
¡Ya ganamos, ahora llenen la pantalla de glitches!
Al final son sólo un fraude como aquél BiIIy MitcheII

FANTASMAS:
(P) Uy, hablando de Glitches, ¿recuerdan su World?
(P) Fue tan malo y criticado hasta que Scott lo retiró!
(I ) Pero no tan malo y retirado como el propio Scott
(I ) Se fue y los dejó a pudrirse, peor que en su parte 2
(C) ¡Convertidos en Furries por el asesino en serie!
(P) ¡Que asesinó su serie, cuando quiso meterse!
(I ) Ahora su trama va a estar reflejada en sus diseños
(B) Porque los dejamos hechos un desastre, ¡Fin del juego!

Animatrónicos vs Fantasmas

In the audio debut of OVARB we have the battle of the feathered fellows, Karoo from One Piece and Pen Pen from Neon Genesis Evangelion.

Karoo: MetaMachine

Pen Pen: J Chay

Prod: Anywaywell

Written by: MetalFire

Mixed by: Rayyan

Karoo:
Ten hut men: this freeloader has come far to  
Witness Captain Karoo show he can spit a bar too
This battle may scar you seeing as it’s your first
The odds are far and few for you to top my verse
Stick my neck out to put villains in their place
Unlike you I’m way more than just a cute face
Roll with a gang of feathers that flock together
You’re an experiment left isolated for the better
From the start Vivi and I had a bond of tenderness
Misato adopted you to cope with her loneliness!
Tokyo was attacked and then what happened next?
She left you abandoned on Hikari’s door steps!
 
Pen Pen:
Ya flew out the coop to turn into Duck Soup
Arctic bird spits hot ‘gainst you and your schmuck troop
Soft Bill’s can’t spit hard with shots that’re lacking aim
But check the chest plate, I got double your pen game!
Water barrel around your neck and still no drip
While I’m the flyest to reside in Misato's crib
Ayo Vivi? She wanna meet me at this rate
She has no time for dweebs better off as fishing bait
Pack the brains that makes Chopper look lesser
And I don’t need to chill in the freezer to be fresher
Since you pride yourself in being so much fasta
Do what you’re good at and run back to Alabasta!

Karoo vs Pen Pen- OVARB (Anime Rap Battles Bonus)

Quantum Slim Slushy

50 RIM

In the first episode of Half-Ass Rap Battles (the bonus spin-off of Lame-Ass Rap Battles) we have a pizza slice against a hamburger because why not, I had fun with it.

Written by Commander Jacob
Freshy Kanal as Pizza
Commander Jacob as Hamburger
Mixed by Freshy Kanal
Prod. by 2Deep

Pizza:
Come out the oven deep-dish when I got to rap a line
Cause you got no flavor like the fries you come with half the time
Reppin’ Italy critically. All your mascots disturbin’ me
I’ll have you drop in the ER, get your ass back to Germany
I have enough cheese. Get a taste, mate. Cream you, but don’t wanna taste mayonnaise
Rhymin’ supreme. Steppin’ to me and I’m havin’ ya bleed. Getting ketchup to spray, k?
Whatchu got, lettuce? Broseph, ya never toppin’ me
Go ahead and slice me up, that just means more people chompin’ me

Burger:
Hey, I placed an order, but it came with too much cheese, bruh 
I’ll need an extra-hot verse, I got a pizza to heat up
No way you can fuck with me. I out-pizza the hut, ya see?
If you wanna rat me out, I’ll send you back to Chuck E. Cheese
Got a red dot on you like a pepperoni, homie
Ordering pineapple’s the only way you be spittin’ grossly
Give ya girl my meat and make some bread. I’m a phenomenon
With you I’m intolerant, but no way more than Papa John

Pizza vs Burger | Half-Ass Rap Battle #1

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to another Half-Ass Rap Battle! Today we have a battle of minimal, pixelated games typically played out of boredom: Flappy Bird vs Chrome T-Rex. Enjoy!

Commander Jacob as Flappy Bird
Deegle as Chrome T-Rex
Written by Commander Jacob
Mixed by Light
Prod. by 2Deep

I’m coming back, the flyest bird. It’s undebated
To face an old fart that Atari would call outdated
Pterodactyl when I battle. So buddy, you oughta let go
People play you when they say “dammit, I guess so”
Takes a tap to flap over the crap that you spat out
Your life’ll fade to black quicker than your background
Mainstream? No way. Gameplay? so lame
So you should look up better rhymes… oh wait

An amputee duck with plastic surgery
Seems to struggle connecting to a beat to try to murder me
Grab your over-priced iPads and take a walk, dude
You’re smokin’ stolen pipes thinking Nintendo won’t stomp you
I’m Chrome polished. My desert’s less dry than what you’ve written, kid
I'm jumping over cacti, I can handle one little prick
What got removed faster, you from all the phones I can see
Or was it your creator, exiled from society?

Flappy Bird vs Chrome T-Rex | Half-Ass Rap Battle #2

Welcome back to Half-Ass Rap Battles! Today we have the monochrome LCD character against the monochrome LSD character; Mr. Game & Watch vs Grey Man. Enjoy!

Raichous as Mr. Game & Watch
Mr. Tibbs (Gridline Studios) as Grey Man

Written by Commander Jacob w/ help from Zawesome
Mixed by Light
Prod. by Marsad Men

-LYRICS-

Game & Watch:
Parachute in to win, it’s an icon you’re fighting, man
This Fire man throws bacon, eggs, and fine raps off a frying pan
Been Ball-ing from the start. Where’ve you been? I can’t tell
As an expert, I can say fame’s something you’ve never handheld
This rapping trampoline lander’s smacking you like a 9 hammer
And your win’s a crazier dream than those of all your programmers
Slenderman in a trench coat? He only has one mode: stalk
Mister, watching your game has got me watching my own clock

Grey Man:
A fat-nosed shadow thinks that he's fit for battle? Boy I'll laugh
When I have him tripping and he still tries to fight with oil cans 
Ring your bell for help! I’m Krueger of the PlayStation
Leaving beats and dreams corrupted. Still think it's an emulation?
Here’s the red Flagman; you’ll get slaughtered just from napping
It’s one of your two functions; learn it’s time to stop rapping
I Violently Diss-strict. The pain won’t leave when you wake up.
Even people who play Smash have forgotten you like a brain flush

Mr. Game & Watch vs Grey Man | Half-Ass Rap Battle #3

Welcome back to Half-Ass Rap Battles! Today we have a battle of the edgy spooky versions of characters, one ironic, one unironic: Sonic.EXE vs Corrupted Jacob

-LYRICS-

Sonic.EXE
(Yo) ever since Things That Aren't That Scary Month, I know you've been hating, my guy
So many souls, so Slowpoke.EXE should quit wasting my time
You’re like Tom with my CD; too pussy to destroy a track, dog
Lyrics coming at you at Super Sonic speed: I am Rap God
Too tapped out for round 2. Searched your Commander’s channel, even I never Found You
Cameos are all you amount to. I got a jester's laugh, and I’m still bout to clown you
When I’m rappin, I go batshit. I’m attacking with some hacking. I’m the spin-dashing classic
This wack-ass damn kid’s the static cross-breed fanfic of Darkiplier and a sad squid, that’s it

Corrupted Jacob:
Zalgo in a fursuit? Oh no, my wee little heart!
Ya meant to be creepy, but spawned extremely… DeviantArt 
Like Sally Simp, you’re gonna get left in stitches when fighting me
Your fame was as short as your face in your own fucking title screen
Fucking cheesy ass. Your game got me board as shit, you damn Rap Rat
Check the anger and the eyeballs; my dude needs a pack of Tampax 
Trolled this pasta back to his wiki, too lame for me to eat ya
Haven’t seen someone as bad with words since JC the Hyena

Alex the Beast as Sonic.EXE
Commander Jacob as Corrupted Jacob
Written by Commander Jacob w/ help from TimeLord
Edited and thumbnailed by Commander Jacob
Mixed by Light
Prod. by Retnik

Sonic.EXE vs Corrupted Jacob | Half-Ass Rap Battles

Home of Lame-Ass Rap Battles, its side series Half-Ass Rap Battles, and maybe the occasional cover of someone else's battle.

Navi vs Clippy | Half-Ass Rap Battles

Commander Jacob

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