Rap battle series created by Commander Jacob which use chracters and match-ups he's personally interested in (aka a lotta geek shit)

Lame-Ass Rap Battles

FAVORITE BATTLES

Top 10 best battles

Rap Battles

Rap battle

JOIN MY DISCORD:
https://discord.gg/Wk55ZGzHMw​

J Morris the Review Guy and Light as Freddy Krueger
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfRZ...​
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCv40...​

Freshy Kanal as Pennywise

Written by:
Freshy Kanal, Fel and HippieRat

Drawings by:
CyanCoat

Beat Produced by:
Freshy Kanal & Sebb

Mixed by:
Freshy Kanal

Mastered by:
Sebb

Lyrics:

Freddy:
Laying you down to sleep, for 2 decades of your own hell
It looks like Wise is lacking luck, let’s throw a Penny in the well
It’s prime time for a rap battle, bitch, 
dip you into shame down to the bottom of your silk suit.
Yea, Sticks and stones can break my bones, 
But words? We both know they kill you.
So drop this beat on your breath when I beat you to death
The makeup on your head will match up with your bed
Cuz my dreams are a threat, while the screams that you get
Make this spider a joke, it's a meme on the web
You ain’t hot shit like Curry, now you're a swedish-
all you can eat dish, bon appetit, bitch!
You’ll end up like your first monstrosity
Now the fucker’s chairbound, can’t stand up like your comedy

Pennywise:
And here comes...Freddy’s.. New..
Nightmare, biggest fear from Bill to Bevvy
Your only scare is the bill for new bedsheets
Stuck in the 80’s, reboot fucked up 
You’re officially the leader of the boomer’s club
I'll just wait for this fetus to get injured
They should replace you with the baby from "Freddy got fingered"
But the Nightmares won't be coming back soon
You're out of your airtime. Do you want a balloon?
You kept up in ruining children til Jason mutilated your character
Now the question is who would win here? 
The Alien or the Sexual Predator?
Swiss cheese lookin motherfucker walkin on my streets
I’ve always been the king of Derry, you’re the Dairy Queen
Cuz I never was a killer to hop on your boat, dude
So you better get high, I make standards float too!
You're dated, so listen up 
you aged and you couldn’t stop
Your face replicates your plot 
a game of connect the dots!
Your rating is severed, flopped; 
they made like your head and dropped
The same as popcorn I brought, 
you raised, blew up and p-p-popped

Children: 
1,2, Freddy’s coming for you
3,4, better lock- 

Freddy:
My count rounds out to a thousand, you're grouchy 
Left people howling more about your idiot townies
You’re not even allowed the best clown flick
in the same fucking year your lousy sequel came out in
You're scared of Maturin', and so your M. O.'s eternal
You'd shit your sewers when you see the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Bitch! Taking a nap and I got your soul on a hook
You're helping me slaughter people by making them read your book
So It looks a little stormy for your sewer orgy
You didn’t reign before me! 
I’m the GOAT, you’re horny!
I’ll stick to spreadin’ teens over bed sheets
While you’re left melting into a puddle, how’s that for a wet dream?

Pennywise:
You’re more of a downfall than Maine storms to my main form
Your last one turned out like I ate your writers in a brainstorm
Go sleeping on these flows
I'll have Freddy's battle weapons shredded to Eddie's medicine
So he dreams of gazebos!
Tongue twist a buttkiss like your final girl did.
It’s a multiplayer game when you’re in my world, bitch!
I’d say go cry to your daddy, ‘fore you eternally rest.
But your mailbox couldn't carry the paternity tests

Pennywise vs. Freddy Krueger - Rap Battle!

VIDEO:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JhOmnPm1_j4

SUBSCRIBE►https://bit.ly/3hsgOfd l PATREON►https://www.patreon.com/FreshyKanal
More Rap Battles►https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL6...

My Twitch:
https://www.twitch.tv/freshykanal

JOIN MY DISCORD:
https://discord.gg/mEYEc9Kz7p

Superhero Rap Battles:
https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL6...

Gaming Rap Battles:
https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL6...

Anime / Cartoon Rap Battles:
https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL6...

Horror Rap Battles:
https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL6...

CREDITS:

Alex M. as Sonic
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfRZ...

Mat4yo as The Flash 
https://www.youtube.com/user/Mat4yo

Art & Animation by
TreToonzz
https://twitter.com/TreToonzz
https://www.instagram.com/tretoonzz/

Written by Freshy Kanal, Jughead Jay, Evan, Creep Switch and Mat4yo

Additional Help by:
MetaMachine & Gamingplush64

Beat prod. by
Kustom

Audio Engineered by
Freshy Kanal

Mastered by
Sebb

Storyboard by
Freshy Kanal

Directed by
Freshy Kanal

Thumbnail by
Fightmarker

Special Thanks to SlimPlay

Thanks for Watching!

Lyrics:
Sonic:
Bring me in and the mic is gone
A gaming icon; speeding past your ass since 91’

I’ll fire up the track and fry up the “fastest man”!
Already cracked an Egg, now I’ll put a Flash in the pan!

I’m the Megaman for Sega fans, dedicated to best foes
You could never Top me, even if you went Rogue 

Flash back to the past, in case you didn’t know
Your mommy kicked the bucket cause you’re too slow!

You sunk into your guilt but you couldn’t take the blame for it
Cuz when she went out of the picture your daddy got framed for it

But I will give you the benefit of the doubt, your family can be-
Nevermind-  you turned your ex to .exe


Flash:
I feel suspense but it needs some sense, 
couldn’t you have tried this sooner?
Always squeeze in trends 
to receive more friends 
but still can’t blow up? ok sonic boomer

Work and love are two ends of the rope
You keep the ring in the pocket and let her sleep in the friendzone 

Put on some clothes, or do I need to address
That Flash is my name and not a request

Drop out of the olympics, it’s a big fat excuse
Keep living in the Shadow of people fighting in red suits

I’ve been in first place since before you were born
I make new 52, you make more 34


Sonic:
Cute setup, but it really ain’t my style
It doesn’t take Tails to tell I’ll run a mile

I can make you transform before you attack back
Just drive into Sonic’s and you’ll return as fat flash


Flash:
I’m running on water, in seconds I’m past it (oh!)
While you flow like someone who can’t swim!

I know the truth hurts, your zoo herd of losers
Cursed Sega so much, they’ll call you the blue slur


Sonic:
I’ll teach your Speed Force a free course in spitting a verse!
You bit the dust like this was Crisis on Infinite Earths

News Flash! There’s a new flash! 
He Zooms past! Leaves you last! It’s the blue dash!

You went out with a terrorist? Just to get used at S.T.A.R.?
I guess we could say your date took banging a bit too far

Let me give you an idea of a future you can peak at
I’ll dominate DC as if it stood for DreamCast!


Flash:
I’d diss all your forms but I wouldn’t make it through
Cuz those OC’s make me sick, Soni-Choo

And in 8 whole years you pulled a whole route 
From "gotta go fast" to "gotta get sued"!

You seem to be unaware, so better face facts
This rodent is roadkill on both the rap and race track

You’re always getting stomped out and pummeled by Metal Sonic
But the Man of Steel I face is left in dust in my comics!

Your latest animation tried to stack up a Green Hill
But you rushed for bucks! Guess you’re the proof that speed kills!

No matter what design, you’ll always be a flick killer
So forget your gold rings, today you took a Quicksilver

Sonic vs. The Flash

Sonic vs. The Flash - Rap Battle!

Freshy Kanal - YouTube Vs. Twitch Rap Battle Ft. Politicess & Littleflecks

Freshy Kanal - King Dice Vs. Oogie Boogie Rap Battle Ft. McGwire & Chase Beck

dream vs. nagito komaeda - rap battle! - ft. eric the audible & snakebite126

SUBSCRIBE►https://bit.ly/3hsgOfd l PATREON►https://www.patreon.com/FreshyKanal
More Rap Battles►https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL6...

My Twitch:
https://www.twitch.tv/freshykanal

JOIN MY DISCORD:
https://discord.gg/6RStp46dsC

Gaming Rap Battles:
https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL6...

Horror Rap Battles:
https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL6...

Superhero Rap Battles:
https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL6...

Anime / Cartoon Rap Battles:
https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL6...

Credits:

Eric the Audible as Dream (audio)
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0PG...

RNG as Dream (video)
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCDo7...

Snakebite126 as Nagito Komaeda
https://www.youtube.com/c/Snakebite126

Written by Snakebite126

Directed by Snakebite126, Shishroomie, GamingPlush64, Rabi, Zagranis & Freshy Kanal

Audio Playback by Zagranis & Shimario

Mixed and Mastered by Freshy Kanal

Beat Produced by
Epistra

Additional Instruments by
Freshy Kanal & Musiclide

Storyboard by
Freshy Kanal, Snakebite126, Shimario, GamingPlush64, Rabi, Fightmarker

Video Edited by Shimario, Freshy Kanal, Snakebite126, Rabi & GamingPlush64

Dream Sprite by RobotRitchie

Thumbnail by Shimario

Outro Art by JesseBox

Dream vs. Nagito Komaeda - Rap Battle! - ft. Eric the Audible & Snakebite126

-PRODUCTION/CAST-
Henry Stickmin - Mancha (UBERocity)
Phil Eggtree - Fightmarker​

Written By: Michael Stark, M!CAH, & Mason G

Produced By: Epistra

Mixed & Mastered By: Freshy Kanal

Logo By: Cannibal Worms

Cover By: Commander Jacob

Lyrics:
ANNOUNCER
Let's give it up for Stark’s Rap Battles!
Henry Stickmin
Vs
Phil Eggtree
Begin!

HENRY STICKMIN
The father of Newgrounds is bound to ground this unpunny Flash hack
Who thinks he can step to Stickmin, guess he hasn’t seen my clap back!
Henry chooses Gas Raps to combat Phil’s not-so-Swift sadness
Even your OG design adds up to complete Madness!
I mean, you’re messing with the best mercenary since Red or Blu
My games are a blast when I bring laughs, no one can say the same about you
So riddle me this, if you can, we know you’re not the sharpest bulb in the shed
How can you claim to have fame when you’re put to shame by another egg?
Who’s got a 98% rating on Steam? Me!
Who’s game birthed a dev team and a whole company from a meme?
But then who’s schtick got old fast with each recurring scheme?
Cuz it’s not me who’s cranking sequels just to make ends meet, geez!

PHIL EGGTREE
A whole decade for your first words? I must say, I’m thrilled
In this scrap you’re getting capped, regardless of the gimmicks you instill
Just a bully taking dollars, but got no digits on the weight scale!
So come at me, stick bug, this loss’ll be your 348th fail!
Spitting colder than Zack- er, hotter than Zack, a twig’ll get snapped when I’m on the attack
But if I tried to sit through your whack class I’d end up falling asleep on the track!
Stickmin’s just a Ghost Inmate, so there’s no need to keep my guard up
Hard to Escape Prison when you’ve been surrounded by my bars, huh?
I’ll still be the one collecting coin, while you’re lacking common cents
And after all your countless antics, I’d think you’d grasp some common sense
With all those video game tie-ins, you constantly seem to harp
For one who prides himself on intelligence, that wasn’t very… pointy
Once I crack the case of this basketcase, then he’ll truly see-
That when it comes to tricking teachers or ditching class, I always have the key!
No Valiant Hero, you snitched on the army just to pinch more cash
Just a selfish thief with jealous deeds, I’ve got this in the bag! (Ha!)

HENRY STICKMIN
I toppled the Toppats, Government, Wall, you know I got the sleek flow too
Your whole deal is “bargain bin Ferris Bueller hit with a dash of Pico’s School!”
But if you really wanna compare us, I’ll serve this Egghead over easy
My countless achievements to your minor victories? Hmmm, lets see:
Small startup gains some traction, gauging YouTubers’ reactions
Yet you couldn’t hold a fraction to the sweet deals that I’m packin’
Banks, Prisons, Airships, Complexes, I’ve beat them all, and then-
What did you do, that’s new? Oh yeah! Escaped school… again...
Priceless gems? I steal em; Brighter friends? You need em
I’m Breakin’ Banks and taking tanks, you use plot holes for your freedom!
No matter what you point and click, I top your “Legacy Edition” any day
But it seems like I had no trouble “Completing the Diss-ion” anyway!

PHIL EGGTREE
This beaver’s spittin’ ‘gainst this bread crumb from the internet’s trash can-
Now after countless parodies, this rash distraction’s at his last stand
Tried to capitalize on nostalgia, relying on old, tired game cliches
While I’ve been going strong for many years and I’m still free to play! (Ay!)
Your lines are paper thin, cutting less than your “valid stingers”
I’ve seen sicker stick figure spitters come out of Salad Fingers
No matter what the timeline, that whole verse was your lamest sad jam
Mission Failed! You shoulda stuck with Charles if you wanted the Greatest Rap Plan! (Oh!)

ANNOUNCER
Who was the Flashiest?
Who do you wanna see battle next?
Well, you decide! 
This has been Stark’s Rap Battles, we’ll see ya next time!

Henry Stickmin vs. Phil Eggtree | SRB

WATCH THE MUSIC VIDEO:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Gw7P3rTZfY

Eddiefrb as The Duck
The Stupendium as The Goose

Narrator:
A duck walked up to a microphone stand
And he said to the goose, running the stand…

Duck:
Hey!
I don’t think you’ll be much competition for me
I mean, my animator was literally in ERB
You see, I’m bout to run amok on this inferior schmuck
You wanna fuck with duck? Then sir, you are out of luck (damn)
A decade on the web and I’m still going strong
While you’re only getting bread from grandmas at the pond
For a month or two, this indie had a barely-trend phase
Then his players waddled away ‘till the very next game (ay)

Goose:
You’re playing the original Goose Game
Face-to-face, ain’t a wild goose chase
Usain Bolt how I swoop in to your roost
Lay with your mother till she’s laying my goose egg
(Oh, good heavens.) Then the next Tuesday
Back to your pond and grabbed ya mum’s honkers
(She’s my side piece) - now that’s my new option
Hatched, now you’ve got a batch of new offspring
It’s your chance, cuz that’s who you ought to
Ask to view all your tacky new content
I’ve the gold standard - fans that aren’t toddlers
You don’t take silver, you’re repping COPPA
Back to your momma, in case you hadn’t heard
She’s going down when I pipe her like Flappy Bird
So while you’re out of the nest, being a nuisance
Rest assured, I’ve got your mum on my to-do list

Duck:
You call this co-op?, bro - you bomb-bomb-bombed!
After that verse, call this battle “The Swan Song”
We may be birds of a feather, but I’m unrivaled
I’d say I take names, but you’re already Untitled
I’m your childhood, spanning generations of nostalgia
You’re a stock image, you only leave marks when they’re with water
Everything you have, inside and outside your game is stolen
(hah) Buddy, Biting off Goat Simulator doesn’t make you GOATed
So suck a pair o’ deez nuts while I’m making stacks
They printed me on paperback and I still made my paper back
Call it a gender reveal, I light you up
Then I burn your House House down - forrestfire101 (uh)

Goose:
Well, I do have all day, but you’re not worth my time
I take it you want grapes ‘cuz all you’re doing is whine
So go back to your fruity little lemonade quest
‘Cuz I don’t mean the groundskeeper when I’m making hoes wet (honk honk mothafucka!)
You bump into Goose bumping, you’ll get goosebumps
Bitch, you suck! You’re the anthem of middle school lunch!
Well, it appears you’ve been defeated - let me ring the bell
I’ll leave a walkie-talkie here so I can ring your belle

Written & Directed by Eddiefrb
Beat prod. by Ihaksi & Freshy Kanal
Coverart Design by Eddiefrb
Coverart Artwork by Matthew Thomas
Mixed & Mastered by Freshy Kanal

The Duck Song vs Untitled Goose Game - Rap Battle! (ANIMATION VS ANYTHING: CH. II)

Welcome back to Lame-Ass Rap Battles! Today we have a battle of bird games abandoned by their owners: Red from Angry Birds vs Mr. Crow from Catastrophe Crow. Enjoy!

@freshykanal as Red
Commander Jacob as Mr. Crow
@sw4nked as Chuck
@superthingsoncupsss as Bomb
@snakebite126 as the Jays

Written by Commander Jacob & GamingPlush64
Mixed & mastered by GamingPlush64
Beat produced by Anywaywell
Crow model by El Stephono

-LYRICS-

Red (0:09)
I thought the pigs’ plot was enough to make me pissed off
But now I gotta fling hot disses straight off the slingshot
We stay protecting kids way before they frickin' hatch
Fitting that this little brat came from a baby’s chicken scratch
You have, like, 20 vids, there’s no way you can catch up
I got raps up my sleeve, while your sleeve is just wrapped up 
Your cartridge and Daddy will stay old and grey
Loner strayed, flew the coup, and never stayed to raise his precious golden egg

Mr. Crow (0:28)
I see you, Red. I’d tear apart your cardinal sins
But we can bond over the crow language it’s clear your bars were in
Or maybe not, after your latest failures, I observed that
Your servers must have been cursed bad by the evil Sir Cat!
Those absurd raps are calling me to stay and work at
A verse that can take you down so we can’t see these birds flap
I stack hits like blocks, show you an L, and tower you
Lemme just lay this down if I gotta spell it out for you
While I respect protecting your nest from turning into a bed and breakfast 
Your tactics lack any sense of direction when flinging heads into wreckage 
You got rich from your title? 
Your only golden shower nowadays is piss from your idol!

Red (0:57)
Your word vomit couldn’t even keep my chicks fed
He won’t be home ever again after that shit’s wrecked
We get money like Hal; our green’s coming around
I’ll put you down - 6 crows feet under the ground
I stay squaded up. Yo, Jay, Bomb, and Chuck
Let’s show this winged black sheep why they can’t flock with us
Chuck (1:11)
Ugh, speedy time, you weakley swine! We can rhyme with an eagle’s might
But maybe translating your 800 languages can come out with a decent line
Bomb (1:16)
No teddy bear to cuddle with, you can’t get your dad back
You weren’t even worthy to get stuffed in a bear’s backpack
The Jays (1:21)
Get Butchered, no Adam. We’re sick when we’re splitted
Attacking and rapping, we’re killer in triplets
Red (1:26)
When I’m spitting off the bill, no way you can get through to me
I’m knocking over all your builds and breaking down your Unity
Cause me and my boys got the skill, destruction isn’t new to me 
So if you wanna talk to Nils, stop using your community
We’ll die a martyr just to stop the piggie’s punk shit
At least write to Marta before you run away and jump ship
Fuck demon cats, development’s you’re only hell now
The only flight you've taken is the staircase you fell down
Nothing your fans theorize will make Thea rise
So now Lorenz himself will eternally need to be revived


Crow (1:50)
You dumb shits, thrown at the wall to see what sticks
You lucky mother-cluckers should be glad ya landed one hit
Both Rovio and Opus didn’t know what they were asked for
I took it to the depths, you took it off the App Store
You wanna bring a squad in? Face a murder of crows
To checkmate your flock of pawns and submerge 'em with flows
I’ll pop your whole arsenal and I’ll leave with three gold stars
The last nail in my coffin? I’m breaking free with each crowbar
No one’s wanting (ugh) all your cash-ins (nah)
All they wanted was to make you zip through blocks
You were launching (eh), now you’re crashing (ouch!)
Made some bubble games, and that shit went pop
Not talking PCs when I clip your head through a window
Your money bag-headed developers ain’t enough to scare this crow
It’s no sweat ending these legless and armless balls
The least hard thing I’ve gone through is a concrete wall
Your player’s gone too, now that you’re off phones
2 birds, 1 throne. I’ve finally gone home

Thanks for listening
-ComJac

Angry Birds vs Catastrophe Crow | Lame-Ass Rap Battles

Welcome back to Lame-Ass Rap Battles! Today we have a battle of color-swapped clone stalkers: Herobrine, spirit of the brother of the creator of Minecraft, versus the Mario Silhouette, castle wanderer found in personalized copies of Super Mario 64. Enjoy!

Mr. Tibbs as Herobrine
Commander Jacob as The Mario Silhouette 

Written by Commander Jacob
Mixed by Fightmarker
Beat produced by InsaneBeatz
Feedback by GamingPlush64, Mr. Tibbs, bloody_queers, Zagranis, Fightmarker, etc.

-LYRICS-
Herobrine:
See me in the distance? Hope those star doors stay shut
I don't want Piranha Plant biting off me more when we wakes up
I got the godly flows to diminish distant cosmic clones
I’ll make it red when I slam your head against the cobblestone
White eyes with a wide bite but I ain’t no Chain Chomp
Mr. Sit and Watch can picture what to do when his frames drop
Bark at me, my sword will chop like cutting leaves from a tree
So don’t run up on me, I've got a whole overworld under me

MS:
I see yooou, and I’ve tracked your plans to spit bars hot
But walk in His Domain? I‘m swinging hands like Tick Tock Clock
Painful like stained glass windows. Funny: Brine’s in a pickle
Stunting with the all-black fit, though you just changed couple pixels
I’ll make you black out. This wound you can't patch out
I’m jumping this painting. No retexturing, he’ll just crash now
I’ve had it up to the fourth floor. You've been here too long
Your fans are like you: minors who can’t move on

Herobrine:
Shadow Mario’s shadow hardly flowed in a way worth considering morbid
I'm sending this bitch through a portrait and burying him in the Fortress
Or bringing some torches and burning your boring-ass lore before you start running
I'm making pyramids up and appear and they pass the polygonal palace you’re stuck in
If you're talking about design, why would I cut out the lights
Darkness surrounds you, right? So how could you count as bright
Fuck your cryptic text. Think I'm scared when you display that?
I'm the type to slash kill, but not in a game chat

MS:
Players see you, they know you're there, and even screenshot
I bust their cartridge and make their CRT screen shot
You muck with streams while I run their dreams
Bowser has to take a sub to me. YouTubers use you just to say “sub to me”
Trap you in the walls so it blocks the rhymes I can’t stand
Try stealing coins. I catch that? Start shifting out; sand land
Potions and teleporting ain’t enough to catch me, my friend
Encounter me and see a void meaning you’ll meet your End

Herobrine:
All this glitch can offer is one wiki that’s vacant
Your hip-hop’s softer than MIPS in the basement
This AI without the I cant reach my level, just try
Mock me one more time and I’ll default skin you alive
You’re running in circles. I can do this all day
Read the signs: please die quietly in the hallway

MS:
I wish your knock-off novels were your only words hurting my eyes
But I'll make sure this eulogy's Persson-alized
Mr. 2 bit isn't even cared about by their own kin
Someone must be shooting up… but there’s no Hero win
Mama-mia! You’re not worth comparing Luigi to
Obsessed with griefing others cuz your brother never greaves for you

Thanks for watching
-ComJac

Herobrine vs The Mario Silhouette | Lame-Ass Rap Battles

Cover Art by Mancha
----------------------------------
Josh Chichester as The Announcer
----------------------------------
Cam (VideoGameRapBattles) as Lemongrab 
----------------------------------
Stofferex as Lord Hater
----------------------------------
Anthony Perry as Peepers
----------------------------------
Lyrics:
Lord Hater:
This overzealous fella’s about to start a bout with Lord Hater
Rockin’ lasers in my hand, I’m an energy manipulator
Unaccept this defective reject and leave your Lemon Earldom decimated
I’ll rip that football head straight off and decorate it like my spaceship
Your piercing screeches would be perfect for my Torture Mega-Mix
Recondition yourself, ‘cause I’ve seen more spice from a Peppermint
I’m more shocking than your collars, I’m eyeballing in this Great Race
This battle’s black and white, but a grey area in your case

Lemongrab:
Unacceptable! Skeletor wants to dispute with a verbal feud
I’d prefer if you weren’t so immature with such an unstable mood
It’s truly a Mystery how you’ve found the courage to face me
Your rhymes are more of a parasite to my head than Shelby
SCREAMS
You barged in here uninvited, got me riled up with the rhymes you cited, 
My raps are Lemonsweet, but unlike him, this will be one sided
This slave will have no more to say, when he gets slayed by my sound waves 
Just like your presence aggravates, even more than the harp I hate

Lord Hater:
Let's switch this to my style

Best to forfeit, Morty, I Dominate pathetic specks like Bangle-Brap
My speed talking takes effect the best when it comes to battle raps
With my platoon of Watchdogs, I won’t let this fugitive get through to me
Want to feel relief of sleep by deciding who is and who isn’t naughty?
Well, you’re one to talk, Kim Jong Un, so why so sour, Santa? 
Man, it’s sad that you abuse your own species in a sour manner
The Pup Gang might be juvenile, but you’re truly adolescent 
Your cannibalistic ways backfire when you’re eaten by your own peasants

Lemongrab:
groans Your rapping methods are blind, despite your crew of eyes
Death is in Bloom as I decide a fat Jack Skellington’s demise
My temper is combustive! Just ask Cave Johnson!
Consume you like Lemongrab two and have you banished to my dungeon
Ain’t it sweet, candy seeds, you’re the root of my impatience
More of a avagrating amalgamation of hate than my creations
I don’t need anyone! You depend on Peepers to defend
So no more of your sour words, it’ll be YOUR end
----------------------------------
Mixed by Fel
----------------------------------
Written by Zack and Skeep
----------------------------------

Lord Hater vs Lemongrab. CartoonMadeRapBattles

Josh Chichester as The Announcer
----------------------------------
Leannaire as Steven Universe and Stevonnie 
----------------------------------
JMBRaps as Clarence
----------------------------------
Lyrics:
Clarence:
Hi I’m Clarence! Lemme make one thing apparent!
Your corny Connie loving’ self is like your Gem, transparent 
I’ve got something this Alien needs know, I’ll drown you like Lapis with my flow! 
With Jeff and Sumo I’ll unload, a second ass kicking on mah foe! 
Spittin’ Millions of disses with a rhyme scheme not too elaborate 
I’ll defeat this herm-afro-dite like his name was Joshua Maverick
Challenging me to a lyrical Sumo match? That I can’t re-”fuse”
You have “gem powers”? Well at least I’m not as uptight as you! (Ooh!)

Steven Universe:
I won’t need help from the Crystal Gems to beat up this Drama Queen 
Your “life lessons” are even worse than your dental hygiene 
Quit your ranting and just go back to looking up to Santa
Nicolas Cage here couldn't shield himself from his own piñata
Trap you in a no-fun Dungeon, so weird; Onion’s impressed 
Clarence, Wendell-usion wears off then you’ve got nothing left
Heated lyrics like Ruby, and there's nothing you can do!
Cuz even with my weaknesses I’m still “Stronger Than You” 

Clarence:
Frybo you with rhymes, go back to your dad and mourn 
I could have a better rap, just using a squeeze horn
My disses are Straight Illin’, spitting sick like the flu
And say, Uncle Grandpa has a simpler plot than you do
Not even a Mother could love your series’s crappy pilot 
This “superior” life form can’t even keep a healthy diet 
So calm down, your rapping sounds worse than when you sing
Shatter ya to small fractures, you can’t be recovering

Steven Universe:
I’m a rapping Ace-dia! You’re rated I for insane!
We’ll have Towering Intellect when Connie and I combine our brains!

Stevonnie:
When it comes to characters, I’m dominant in personality 
You’re a simplistic optimist, parodying without originality 
You spit a Cluster of nonsense that would even confuse Garnet
You’re incomprehensive due to your puerile lisp and accent
You must have catfingers if you think you’ll be the Victor
Make this maniac have a mental breakdown like his creator! 


Steven Universe vs Clarence 2. CartoonMadeRapBattles Season Finale

Scribblenauts vs. Little Big Planet

Here is some properly mixed audio, im going to use for the video of this battle. 

Written by:
Freshy Kanal, R the Writer, YAOES, Legion, Red

Chizeled By:
Mat4yo

Beat By:
LionRiddims

Mixed By:
Boris

Vladimyr P. as Maxwell

Freshy Kanal as Sackboy

Maxwell: (0:21)
Bag packed! Sharp Starrhymes flowing through you!
When I point ‘em at your face, I make this doll go voodoo.
These are real riddles, holmes, it is time for you to pop it.
You ain’t got no fitting sticker, better update your popit.
I jump and run the city when I’m scribbling art.
While you burnt out of ideas and copied Mario Kart.
Making checkpoints turn red, while I earn the fat stacks
I’ll press down your mood button, if you mess with Mad Max.

Sackboy: (0:42)
Well, you’d think a creative boy could scribble a better verse.
Your creators were more stoned than your sister when cursed.
It doesn't take a mini level to dismantle this crap toy,
You want an oral battle? You can suck my sack, boy!
I build my own level, rhyming fly and sick.
I bet you are a Doppelganger, since you copied my shtick.
And when I look back at the apple prank you’ve pulled, Max.
It makes me wanna grab Newton’s brain and smash it in your glove hat.

Maxwell: (1:03)
Best be careful with your rage or you’ll pop yourself out the zone.
Dude you are so lonely, your only friend is foam.
You fight along heroes but I’ll unmask your actions
By drilling Big SugarDaddy into the All Star trash bin.
I’ll Smash Brawl your controller, your story brings me mental pain.
You maintain that this game makes Higginbottom look sane.
Now look at your gain, check the bubbles you consume.
You’ll be like “Look at me, I earned a bitchslap costume”

Sackboy: (1:24)
I’ll verbally eat this word searching prick for lunch time
Too bad your notebook can’t find the word punchline.
Edgar and Julie will end up in a tragedy.
I own your notepad city and your axolotl family.
Your exit is a casualty, jump and run through evolution.
I’m coming from a King’s house, we are known for Maxecution.
Your prime got scribbled, just give up and drop your nation.
Cause by now your fanbase is wanking on my Play Station.

Scribblenauts vs. Little Big Planet - Rap Battle!

The two legendary turret constructers, Torbjörn and The Engineer, face off in this epic Overwatch vs. Team Fortress 2 rap battle!

Get the song!
iTunes► https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/torbj%C3%B6rn-vs-the-engineer-single/1311211604
Google Play► https://play.google.com/store/music/album/VideoGameRapBattles_Torbj%C3%B6rn_vs_The_Engineer?id=B25qx5rnkcloh34g7qulaqldbce
Spotify► https://open.spotify.com/album/0rzVN4v2slHmUzjnS45QNl

LYRICS:
Torbjorn: 
Spitting like a sentry, my rapping's dispersed,
scrapping your outdated game and I'll be crafting this verse!
Never passing my defensives, you'll be going berserk!
That's right, it's Torbjörn, ready for work!
I've stopped a bot-caused apocalypse!
I'm sure that I can topple over Texas hicks!
Drop Dispensers for what's in store,
'cause I flow hot as Molten Core!

Engineer:
Whoa there fella, you're comin' up short,
But that's all that I expected when I'm rapping a dwarf!
You're flat out useless, your characters busted!
Time a foreigner's shown some Frontier Justice!
Teleporters, health Dispensers, Sentry Guns,
I'm a dozen of your heroes rolled up into one!
I solve a problem, you amplify,
I mean the Omnic Crisis was your design!
Torbjörn: 
You claim you've got intelligence, and yet you still resort,
to cracking jokes about my height, well I'm not a dwarf!
But if you'd like to blabber some more,
Then I'll smite you with the hammer of Thor!
The real OG, first hero made!
While your class is the most over-played!
I may create, but I'm destructing now!
You've built up your ego, I'll break it down!

Engineer: 
You treat the Omnics like lesser scum,
I thought Southerners were the racist ones,
And you've got eight kids in that family of yours?
You'd think an Armorer'd use protection more,
I've got a Widowmaker of my own, I'm a sharpshooter,
No Hospitality for this intruder,
When you're Wrangled in, hear the screams of pain,
more than your team when you're picked for games!

Torbjörn (speaking): 
You were merely a prototype, I am the latest and greatest!

Engineer (speaking):
Well, at least people can pronounce my name, Tor-B-Jorn!

Torbjörn (speaking): 
THAT'S TORBJÖRN!

Torbjörn: 
If what you just presented's the best rhymes that you wrote,
then you'll malfunction even worse than your Competitive mode!
You've got repetitive flow, I'm always better than foes!
Stay out of my way, I'm in the zone!
You're a hunk of junk, I'm master race!
Now watch as I improve your face!
You can't repair your past mistakes!
You've reached your Expiration Date!

Engineer: 
Your battle raps just prove the fact,
That you should never be picked on attack!
Just broken game mechanics and Torb works it?
That's the definition of a Short Circuit!
You're a drastic radical oddity!
Just drop your robot philosophy!
Either stay eliminated or you'll live with the truth,
That every other hero does their job better than you!

Torbjörn vs. The Engineer - Video Game Rap Battle

YouTube link: Friday 10am PST.

Steady Cam as Slender Man: https://soundcloud.com/thesteadycam
The Stupendium as Baldi: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5zshYe6Agzk

LYRICS...

Slender man: 
I started to believe this industry can’t get more shallow
Yet Another horrid horror game makes way into my shadow

tall and pale, bald assailant teleportin’ round a map 
but instead of leaving victims dead you give their ass a slap?

Are you serious? I’m furious!    
People are really fearin’ this?
You’re a slender remake that is meant for pre-k 
that will never equate to me, period

That’s nearly it, I will sever each leg to crumble your foundation 
So step in my elementary for some real education  


Baldi:
Wow there he is, still scaring kids, Congratulations! You exist!
Figured something awful was in the mist, you’re person proving white people shouldn’t spit 

this dated shroud is not allowed In my school house, you’re flunkin’ out
for those rhymes I’ll award a shiny quarter since you’re selling out

I mean You got a movie coming now, sure that will be a smash
Based on every other gaming flick, well you can do the math 

now let’s do my favorite subject, what happens when I subtract
your head from the rest of your carcass and then split it into halves?

Now this class is in session, May I please have your attention 
Take this jump rope for suspension, hang from your neck in detention 

Your reign of fame has now ended, I’ll sweep the floor with you man
I get madder every verse you fail, get out while you can 


Slender man:
I’ve got you decoded, the pages I wrote it, 
then you went and stole it, put it in your notebooks
repackaged and sold it, to kids but you know it 
is me that you owe the, numbers that you’re growin’

I gave you your start, I’ll be your finish, You won’t make it far, now I have risen
I’ll tear out your heart and then I’m persistin’ to rip you apart, hows that for division?

I’m slender man, put you in a hospice there’s no treatment
for when i teach what’s really frightening to Mavis Beacon


I am the peak of all horror, you are just the trending fad
that is soon to die off right along with hero brine and fnaf

Baldi:
Let’s look at your results, and based on your grim grading
Then I can see why you dropped out of school slim shady

I can’t believe it, if you think that verse would make me shudder 
Than you’re twisted as your 12 years olds who go and stab each other

Slender Man vs. Baldi's Basics

Video: Friday August 10th at 10am PST

Steady Cam as Pikachu:
Samantha Sadoff as Eevee

LYRICS:

Pikachu:
Back in 1996, a spark began to glow
Bringing me to lead a series lighting screens around the globe 

I’m the mascot, Yeah I’m the face that runs the game
While you’re a other throwaway that has known to run a way 

That’s your best ability, no adaptability 
can save a bratty daft Eevee from Pika’s rap agility 

yeah I crackle all my foes when I tackle with my volts
I’m a master on my own, only high up when you’re stoned

Your a handout to the trainer buddy, I’m a real catch
Unleashing static raps to leave you frozen on the track

Eevee:
Why don’t you pass the baton to a viable mon’
That verse was a catastopika, thinking that cha really strong

This detective should deduce that he is weak and overhyped
Check your speed, I even make for a swifter electric type

I’m your natural predator, this fox devours mice 
if you try to nuzzle up to me you’ll wind up with a bite

If you zap me on the mic, my hyper voice will spit some raps
that’s gonna dominate the this mon we hate, like evoboosted stats

Pikachu:
Claim my stats are weak but just look at where I be
I am trainer Red’s lead, espeon’s is off his team

None of your evolution are effective when we fight
Your silly gimmick lost it’s magic, when you gained a fairy type

Try to take me down and you’ll be paralyzed for sure
Brick break you down and Body slam ya like a luchador

When I thunderbolt 10 milli volts are surgin’ through and through 
From the anime, to our new games, who’s really choosin you?


Eevee:
We’ve got a lot in common, we’ve progressed throughout the games
I’ve obtained more evolutions and you gained some cosplay 

Shoving you down all our throats can only do the franchise harm
I’m a refreshing face attracting gamers with my normal charm

Hey you Pikachu, I anticipate your moves
If that was your last resort than I’ve got some awful news

I am shocked with disappointment but you’ve got a good excuse
Your trainer’s too big of a dumb ash to evolve you

Pikachu vs. Eevee - Pokemon Rap Battle

YouTube Link: COMING FRIDAY, AUGUST 24th 10am PST

Sniper: Steady Cam
Widowmaker: Eile Monty

LYRICS:
Sniper:
A professional has standards that includes efficiency 
in the discardin’ of my targets put them out their misery 

when I am dissin’ on the beat this hitman is making the heat
While all your boring allegories put a Sydney boy to sleep 

I am an old fashion assassin you’re a cold passionless ratchet
See how slow your heart tempo is once I go squash an arachnid 

and my bow blasts unattractive widows kissing her goodbye
You’re gonna wish I was a soldier when I’ve got you in my sights


Widowmaker:
I can’t believe they got me pitted up against against somebody
With a flow’s that’s only useful when you use it for Jarate

And his sniping’s seeming sloppy so it’s gotta be apparent 
That this cocky amateur has let me down more than his parents

Oh did that one sting? If that is the case than it’s no wonder
Your HP is by far the lowest of your brothers

Machetes will not help when I behead this hunter
C'est la vie Put you back into the land down under


Sniper:
Crikey mates now feast your eyes The widow spins a web a lies 
Because her mind’s so weak and blind She had her husband sniped at night 

after the talon wiped her mind and now she finds herself a spy
But you know I tend to remind your kind to surrender your lives

I’m fortified gotta spit hard rhymes and unload on a bloke I’m a flow carbine
Till your cold heart dies do you feel alive when I load up a bullet to blow your mind?

The literal kind, after the genocide collect my profit
Won’t be trouble you’ve been pummeled by a kid rocking a gauntlet 

Widowmaker:
I find it quite surprising that you still insist on trying 
Shouldn’t need my infra sight to realize your game is dying

And yet I wouldn’t be lying if I said you make me laugh 
I’ll put you down out outback I’m quite experienced at junking rats

Try and chase me down while I am swinging from my grapple line
Outwit you then I’ll ditch you once you trip this venom mine 

It’s One shot one kill mercy killing is my brand
It’ll be more painless over all your slowly dying fans

Sniper:
I’m a hired hand you’re a bold crazy 
Bit my stuff for long enough just F O A D

And go back to ballet cause with that big ego that you got
I don’t even need scope to know your head is getting shot (BOOM!)


Widowmaker: 
Wanna keep your job? then I suggest you run and hide
Going toe to toe with me, snipers tend to lose an eye 

And keep preaching that you’re stable we all know you’re really sick
And compensating for the fact you killed your family as a kid

Sniper vs. Widowmaker - Video Game Rap Battle

Steady Cam as Infernape:
ShueTube as Blaziken:

LYRICS:
Blaziken: 
I can’t believe that this monkey thinks he can phase the kid
You’re crazy if you think you can rap battle with Blaziken
Can’t handle the flames I spin
And ravel these phrases in
I came to win so your chance of beating me’s looking razor thin
I’ll break the limbs on this wanna be homosapien
Then take his skin and hair and I’ll wear it
I call it “Bathing Chimp”
You’ll get these flaming wrists and a couple of blazing kicks
This apes a wimp, there’s no way he can take me with those baby fists

Infernape:
Forget the kinda game you’re in? I’m spittin’ platinum hits on blaze
I came in with flaming blitz you kickin’ with the chicken legs
Against my iron fist you’ll faint, you got the strength and grit of May
Need roost and speed boost so you can sprint away 
be true, I beat you up with my fists of flames
heat you and eat you up like a chicfila 
why don’t you go you sit an egg, your only chance of gettin’ laid
is if I crack you and I blast you back to where the dinner’s made

Blaziken:
You think you’re spitting flames?
But we’re in different lanes
Different games, I’m in Pokkén smoking foes and kickin A
You ain’t even in the game
That’s means you ain’t getting played
Sorry I’m not sorry but I’d hardly want to pick a lame

Infernape:
Hardly even charred me all of your kicks missed
You are sparring gainst army with’ bullet fists

and scorchin’ hits, though I was tardy to the party
I am starting up the barbie that’ll torch this chick

Blaziken: 
I’m bored with this
I’m really getting fed up
You really think that you’re clever?
You’ll never ever be better
These feathers will sever every vendetta that I endeavor
So how you gonna step up when you’ve never been a mega?

Infernape:
Better crank the heat cause your embers are em-bores
The way you’re fighting you should have sent for an emboar

Bringing little flow against the monkey inferno
Then you’re combutin’ better trust this combat wasn’t even close, No!

Blaziken Vs. Infernape - Pokemon Rap Battle

Starring
JRoyalVA as Frollo
Titanium1208 as Gaston

Frollo:
You should know, I don’t take kindly to peasants
It’d be wise to fall to your knees again, in my presence
Your gang of ruffians are nothing next to my amassed power  
And may the Lord have mercy once I show Belle my Tower
Forced marriage, locked her dad in a carriage, and what’s next?
You treat every woman like you’ve turned them into objects
Drop the facade, and ask anyone that knew you
It’s obvious you only wanted to see LeFooFoo

Gaston:
Are you sure that creature's not your son? Seems like your looks passed on
The Festival's over, so why’s this grandpa got his mask on?
I’ll fight any gargoyle, down to every last one
Cuz no one quite rocks the mic like Gaston

Townsfolk:
GASTON 

Gaston:
This matchup's beastly, I expect an atonement
Do you know who I am? I deserve a better opponent
LeFou! Remove the fool grovelling at my feet
The townsfolk will dub my verses “Beauty and the Beat”

Frollo:
Looks indeed are deceiving; although you look firm,
You’re grumpy cause you didn’t get to put the worm in bookworm 
I’ll rid this fight of vice and sin, which means your rage that lies within
When I spit Hellfire, this Gypsy will be fried and binned

Gaston:
You pulled a Gothel; raised a baby in cobble, but who's the loner?
The child or the man who burnt cities 'cuz he had a boner?
Build your wicked Frollo Baggins schemes in other bouts
So begone! I’ll help another looney old man... out!

Frollo vs Gaston. CMRB

Starring
Light as the Grinch
Fle as Shrek

The Grinch:
The people of Whoville are nothing put next
To this pompous swamp-monster known only as Shrek
“Why”, you all blare, do I oh-so-hate him?
Behind all those layers he’s beyond Ogre-rated
Tasteless, I may have stole Christmas, in fact; 
You took everything ‘Disney’ and wrapped it with trash 
Even happened to nab Seuss’ Cat in the Hat
And before you drag on, tell your ass to stay back 

Shrek:
Donkey, see, something uglier than me!
GET OUT MY SWAMP! GET OFF MY BEAT! 
Hey, list em; Head’s twisted, Lyrically, nay gifted
You suck at wrapping, that’s why you resent Christmas 
I’m shreking fools; take your fur and deck the halls 
Ya heart’s not the only thing two sizes too small
Somebody once told me this hairy sock wants trouble 
You must’ve been cursed by your fairy godmother;
You were one in a million; a classic written for children 
Nowadays you’ve been plastered next to a billion Minions 

The Grinch:
You’re a monster, that said, I think you should retire 
Halloween already has a Mike Myers
Ech, a reboot of this snotty disaster? 
Say bye to your Happily Ever After

The Grinch vs Shrek. CMRB

Kingdom Hearts 3 releases worldwide on the 29th of January.

Beat by Kustom
Written and mixed by Skeep

bearandrocky1 as """Natsuki"""
CookieSaurus as Nico Yazawa

Natsuki:
Today, I’m first to the clubbin’, I’m roided and ready to go
To twice beat over this two-faced two-timing (gets stabbed) oh.

ProjectAlpha22 as Riku

Riku:
Let’s make this Simple and Clean; Drop your Dreams, you can’t go the Distance
Vexen replicas -you idols are the same to me, no difference
Giving up already? Not the first time. Ain’t at all appalled
Your fame, your fans, your love, your life, you’re GONNA LOSE IT ALL!
Hit the Jackpot, UR cards in my favor, Lucky Lucky
It sounds to me you’d just love to share a Paopu fruit with Maki
So while you’re lusted over by lowlife lolicons and sweaty nerds
I’ve got the Keyblade to unlock the hearts of all the gamer girls

Nico Yazawa:
How lame; what a shame; stole my opponent -jeez you’re Heartless!
Long awaited to make her again a carcass, but then this Nobody came and wants to get started
Left Marked by Nico’s Mastery! No training camp for testing through
Emo, you’d fight darkness best with no sketchy guy molesting you!
Spit PSYCHIC FIRAGA on the mic when I perform this song! 
While at the Sakkaku CROSSROADS, you get lost on your Way to Dawn
Doin’ Maleficent’s dirty work, followin’ Sora, awkward
encounters, kidnapping girls, you’re just a jealous creepy stalker!

Riku:
You try to mock me with hypocrisy? Give you more a knock than what I did to Roxas 
I got this; riposte your cacophony with my Soul Eater’s posture
Grab your secret diary; jot this loss, call it the Book of Prophecies
This Keyblade Master’s got it on lock, your mobile game verse Union χ, it’s over, Ni!

Nico Yazawa:
Yo, your little thing with Sora’s adorable, comparing Keyblades
But you’re second rate, second place; Nico’s always an S grade
Nico’s fans’ hearts are Nico’s alone, her smile’s the key!
Give into the darkness, Riku. Nico Nico Nii!

Nico Yazawa vs """Natsuki""" "2" - Rap Battle

Jacob G as Kickass
J Morris as Deku

Written by:
Freshy Kanal, Jason, Vriska and Jughead Jay

Cover Art by:
Zim 11037

Additional Help by:
R the Writer & Zim 11037

Beat by:
Audio Network

Mixed and Mastered by:
Freshy Kanal


Lyrics:

Kickass: 
Hey Hit-Girl, you wanna-? Oh, it’s just me
Well, uhum- Stand aside for a hero to serve the beat

Cause against me? Study up my name. 
Why don't you take a page
For someone who can make a change. 
Do what you do best: break a leg

I don't need a Sick Stick to make me spit sick
You lock the top dog, I'll bite off more than this dick, prick

You misfit, the real world ain't some class to place last, kid
Bitch, your name literally means you get your ass-kicked

Your obsession with your teacher really gives me the creeps, bro
Boku no Hero? Change that to Boku no Pico

Deku:
You’re one to talk about starting off worthless
With your daydreams and hormones, 
I wouldn’t say that you’re quirkless

So let me take the shots, but you won’t need your vest
Cause even if you’re juiced on speed, you couldn’t match my 5 percent

Cram more cheap jokes and violence, 
I’ll Detroit Smash your privates
I destroy foes with high kicks, 
you need cheap toys and sidekicks

It took one whiney white kid to almost go and unfold ya
And the size of your nightsticks? Not. Plus. Ultra.


Kickass: 
Talking ‘bout dick jokes but you couldn’t get around
Your girl’s got gravity powers but you still can’t go down

I might’ve fucked up my senses, but you still get on my nerves
Too bad your daddy couldn't pass to you his fire spitting quirk


Deku: 
Well too bad your daddy didn't pass his genes for getting murked 
You're so scared of getting hurt, you let a kid do all your work

Think you’ll leave me in a Red Mist? 
You can’t hip-hop like Tsu, though
Staten Island’s got it rough if their best hero is a dudebro!


Kickass: 
You’re one to talk about parenting, watch what you utter
You pull a momma’s boy household by disappointing each other

Drowning in your mourning, dude, you would beg to reach my tier
Shit, retitle this “my wetsuit Vs your self pity tears”


Deku: 
I'm strapping armor, 
while you're bragging 'bout that wetsuit you're repping?
You spent too much kicking ass in a Walmart clearance section

But you said you wanna make up for your mistakes?
It’s a bit late
This dickface draws his path in the shadow of Nick Cage

Keep running yourself in depth with all the chaos you're causing
I’m gonna show myself out now and share that cocoa with your coffin

Kick-Ass vs. Izuku Midoriya - Rap Battle!

Titanium1208 as DK
JuliantheBeast as Little Mac
Adam as Doc Louis
HyperJacob96 as Announcer

DK:
I’m finally here! Performing for you!
If you know the words you can join in too!
Put your hands together if you want to clap!
As I’m tearing through… this Little Mac! (Huh!)
Tossing barrels on barrels! Just try to escape
Judging by your vertical you’ve been skipping leg day
Guess you can't Jumpman, boy I hope you can rhyme!
I could even take a hundred of you on at a time!
Mac, Really? Even Glass Joe has higher fame 
You’re just a shy guy hiding behind wire frames
KO’s charged! ... oh whoops, you missed
Brawl with us all you want, to me you’re still the assist

Little Mac:
In this corner the underdog’s ready to fight
Ready to let out punches with all his might
All of this training has prepared me for this
When this oversized monkey goes and meets my fist! 
Ain’t no better boxing match since Rocky v. Smirnoff
When this gorilla starts talking I’d rather him bite my ear off.
Peel on outta here, you can’t step in the ring with me
Like your GameCube game you’re sounding too off-beat
Just Look at what I can do to ya with one nasty blow 
How was your verse goofier than your tv show?


DK:
When I was picked first to rap everybody stepped back
You’re like a SoundCloud rapper, huh! Lil’ Mac
Don’t get smacked, Mario knows not to clapback
Rip you to shreds on the track like a Klaptrap
Your height forces you to make low-blows while fighting
Looks like you learned to spit from your buddy Mike Tyson
Your games stop paying and you’re no longer talked about
If you ask me Mac, I think it’s time you Punch Out

Little Mac: 
Ugh, he’s tough… Show him what you got Mac!
He hit me so hard….. Well then, hit him back!
You’re right Doc, I won’t have this be the end!
Pick yourself up, Don’t let him take you out again!
When I attack, the bigger they are the harder they’re falling 
I’ll have you and your whole DK Crew Smash Bawling
I’m fit, slick, and chiseled; got a cocky strut
Guess what? I’m not scared of your little Donkey punch
Giga Mac knows how to expand - dong
Take the crown to show you who’s king, Kong!
And lo, the beast looked on the face of beauty
Asking for an ice pack for his kicked-in booty.

DK:
I’m a classic in Smash ‘cause the Kong’s sublime
When I bongo beat, that’s a conga line
So hang up the gloves, you're looking fatigued
Even when not super slugging, I’m out of your league!
Came swinging at me, punching with all he can 
But even with my eyes closed you’re still getting speedran

Little Mac:
Can’t take the flak? Go back to the arcade
Don’t mess with Mac - this dude learned the hard way
Take down the OG, how’s that for some clout?
10! Raise my arm! Now that’s a knock out!

Super Smash Raps

Donkey Kong vs Little Mac. Super Smash Raps #1

Welcome to what I guess is the first episode of Lame-Ass Rap Battles! (Pac-Man vs WHG’s getting delayed, sorry.) Today we have a battle of evil artificial clones with Metal Sonic vs DoodleBob. Enjoy!

Commander Jacob as Metal Sonic
GamingPlush64 as DoodleBob
Mixed by GamingPlush64
Written by Commander Jacob and GamingPlush64
Produced by Smoke

Lyrics

Metal Sonic:
I’ve my target acquired: a reckless sketch his builder ditched
Aka stick-legged freak spewing epileptic gibberish 
Got a chaotic flow that's aimed at you, well ain’t it brutal?
They put a mic-killing monster against a janky Frankendoodle
Your pencil and place in battle’s number two, so you're in trouble
Reduced to bootleg merch. Now I’m popping your RedBubble
The bad-ass Badnik’s giving him a bad nick and leaving him hurt
Hypothesis: your magic pencil still can’t write out a decent verse

DoodleBob:
You think you’re cool, but you just got me annoyed, boy
So make your next form a better rapper, son of a nyoy nyoy!
Can't stand this toy's noise. Got the slave of aluminum stressin’
But things get sketchy when you enter the Doodle Dimension
Going mach-5, but not even good enough for ‘06, man. You can’t withstand
That a neo nazi’s boutta get damned. Line him up and strike a bowling ball through this tin can
Or I’ll bust out the lead if you tryna gra-fight. So now what?
I oughta call it a draw, Eggbreath already screwed your mouth shut

Metal Sonic:
You act tough, but something you never considered
I’d be more intimidated facing Jellyfish Squidward
You from the shredder or printer? Either way, I’ll have you slashed through
But back to dimensions, your rhymes and design barley have 2
Locate a sharpener if you think on a track you can beat me. Don’t make me repeat
The elite machine will remind you that he was built to be on a CD
Analyzing from all angles: your chance to win’s looking thin
Firearms unrequired; initiating “throw a book at him”

DoodleBob:
Every time you think you’re besting Sonic, you end up dead wrong
I command a doodle army, you stalk and copy a hedgehog
I can tell you don’t lack grit when you rage like a spastic
Didn’t know the position “Bad-nik” was talkin’ ‘bout your rap shit
Forever in Omega’s shadow and forgotten, good riddance
You’re the Terminator if he listened to too much Skrillex
Scrapping this Metallic Madness and putting an end to the race
Because I don’t need the pencil to have your relevance... erased

Metal Sonic vs DoodleBob | Lame-Ass Rap Battle #1

In the 2nd installment of Lame-Ass Rap Battles, we have classic vs modern. Simple vs difficult. Circle vs Square. We have Pac-Man against the World’s Hardest Game. Enjoy!

Alex the Beast as Pac-Man
Fightmarker as World's Hardest Game
Written by Commander Jacob (w/ additional help from Mr. Tibbs, Zawesome, and Freshy Kanal)
Mixed by Light
Produced by Allen Kass

[NEW VERSION] Pac-Man vs World's Hardest Game | Lame-Ass Rap Battle #2

In the 3rd installment of Lame-Ass Rap Battles, It's a battle of the art programs! We have Microsoft Paint vs Adobe Photoshop. Enjoy!

Snakebite126 as Paint
Eric the Audible as Photoshop
Written by Commander Jacob
Mixed by GamingPlush64
Produced by George Georgia of Audio Network
Beat arranged by Commander Jacob
Thumbnail by Commander Jacob

Paint (0:20):
I’m opening the Windows, so scram off of my lawn
Don’t try to rhyme, dog. Even my palette’s a icon
You charge 30 a month for a learning curve that's straight doo-doo
Must've dropped the opacity, I can see right through you
I’ll grab a brush, swap the color: make this kid black out
Because I bet your raps aren’t even a Bitmap-ped out.
I'm the godfather of digital art, there’s no denying me
I’ll get to sinking your ship if you wanna whine about piracy

Photoshop (0:41):
If you'd like to start war, let's open an artboard.
Got a liquefied flow to claim the place that I’ve fought for
Look, like anything made with you, all your raps will fall flat
We’re already two different types. No need to up the contrast
Sketch all the sloppy shapes you want, I’m rocking the house
Your users likely don’t have internet and draw with a mouse
Mark this, my bars got a hardness of eight hundred
You’re even sucking at fillers. I’ll make you kick the paint bucket

Paint (1:02):
Falling flat? Check the thumbnail. You can’t scold me
Coming at me with those lines, you might wanna ctrl Z
Painting skies since ‘85, style pouring like rain
I draw the line on this mic; call me MC Paint (ha)
You can’t mask your overratedness. It’s hurting, isn’t it?
Hold ctrl and scroll up; maybe you’ll find a shit I give

Photoshop (1:17):
I’m known to burn tools when I’m spitting a rhyme
You can’t make a drop shadow, so keep living in mine
Look, you want some layered disses and blending modes? I got plentiful
For programs rough 'round the edges, I’d recommend the feather tool
Masks? I’m clipping you. No brown, but your pallet’s shitty, dude.
Get back to the junkyard. GIMP is less of a bitch to use

Paint (1:32):
You can’t recover from this with a healing brush, how sad
I’ve had more fun using an SNES mouse pad
Use your magic wand to select good lines, ingrate
Or continue making YouTubers’ slimy-ass clickbait

Photoshop  (1:42):
I’ve had to deal with dudes tryna do me like a clone stamp
So let’s crop and slice the comic sans of art programs
That’s how you lasso a win, no way MS Jank beat me
You'd be better off opening a verse in Paint 3D

Microsoft Paint vs Adobe Photoshop | Lame-Ass Rap Battle #3

VIDEO RELEASE OCTOBER 31st 3PM EST

GamingPlush64 as Salad Fingers
Azia as Marionette
Eddiefrb as Phone Guy (cameo)

Salad Fingers:
Hello..
They call me Salad Fingers - a mad distinguished chap
And i’m not ‘bout to Give Gifts with how I spit in rap
So come into my kitchen - there’s a fish in the back
Grill ya like Afton so that this kid cannot spring her trap
You’re not scary or special
Scott is more scared of his perilous schedule
Cranking out games just to carry a threshold
Milks you so hard, call you Marionettles
*deep breath* it’s not often that greed’ll
Turn a christian to a conman to shoppers 
but a deal was offered and Cawthon agreed
And then suddenly, POP! went your weasels, it’s awful
You’re such a tryhard, pleasuring off of fright caused
I’d say that you might want some therapy with your
Silly little wind bar making the player’s lives hard
and baiting out the nightguard like a Jeremy Fischer
On Firth impression honestly i’m not that threatened
Not to mention all that poppycock of your story’s connection
Led on and left gone by the retconned wrecked plot that Scott invented 
He left his audience guessing and let you rot in suspension

Phone Guy:
Hello, hello? You’re… Mr. Fingers, right?
You dodged out of the Great War... so it seems this is your first fight
I’ll give you a few pointers, so just keep sittin’ tight
But watch your back! ‘Cuz like FNaF 1 -

Marionette:
-I’m killin’ the Mike. *FNaF2 Jumpscare sound*
I’m hoppin’ out the box and crawlin’ down the halls
A monster on the prowl to hunt you down so best turn off your power, kid
Keep talkin’ out your ass, I’d call ya Salad Tosser
What’s a little tacky gross out horror to the modern internet’s jumpscare king
It sounds like you’re only rated R with an ASM in front of it
I would tell you to “stuff it” but judging from your head and limbs
That’s my job, this pathetic wimp’s a living Endoskeleton
A manic that’s as barren and disheveled as his residence
Who’s lame show caused less trauma than the Bite of 87 did
Lyrics or content, i’ve got the better flow - quit dropping bars and drop a new episode
Call it 4/20 cuz your leaves are getting smoked - you’re the crouton of the internet’s salad bowl
All of that Flash Animation is blinding poor David to proper showrunning ways
Got us all waiting for Episode 12 like “tomorrow is another day”


Salad Fingers:
Quit giving’ gifts to little kids and give some life to your withered disses
Come join my other friends, Puppet, I’m wicked with ventriloquism
You couldn’t police me with your whole database technology
Your rapping’s rusty… for once I hope it doesn’t rub off on me
The bars I write ought to hit, but it seems you’re the opposite
I suppose it’s no surprise that Lefty is non-dominant
And I would say your soul’s less free than if this puppet was a sock
You’re just another broken shard that I will lock back in their box

Marionette:
Your familial trauma left scars more than a mask covers
The sands of time won’t smooth out all the horrors of Glass Brother
Were poor in the past, and now have no porridge to pass mother
No drawer’s there to patch that now a flesh boy is all that loves ya
This lunatic is more crooked than his back and it’s strange that you’d even hop upon a track to spit
But it seems that your flow is just another inanimate object that you’re interacting with
You’re detached from reality and this battle was your last chance
So try to mend your relationships, but SAVE THEM - you can’t.


Directed by Eddiefrb
Written by Eddiefrb
Mixed and Mastered by Freshy Kanal
Instrumental prod. by Anywaywell and Freshy Kanal
Salad Fingers Illustrated by CyanCoat

Salad Fingers vs Marionette - Rap Battle (ANIMATION VS ANYTHING)

Connor Quest as Arceus
CamVGRB as Giratina

LYRICS:
COMING SOON

Arceus vs. Giratina

Releasing exactly one week early, due to the imminent release of my 2020 Album "The Obsidian Collection". Be sure to stream on your music platform of choice.

Zawesome as Jack Skellington
Mancha as Sans

Jack Skellington:
Greetings, good fellow, now don’t be abhorred, abhorred
I’m not a human child, we’re not at war, at war
Slim and shady, the Pumpkin King’s track roars, track roars
I’m beginning to feel like a rap gourd, rap gourd
Whether slacking your post or you’re cracking a joke
You’re average at most, and your passiveness shows
When you’re tasked to dispose of a ravenous foe
But you let ‘em go past and attack on your bro cuz you’re asked by a goat that you don’t know?
Then you turn into a basket case loner
And I’ll be dunking you off the backboard, backboard
To battle is witless cuz this Jack is a Ripper
My friend, you couldn’t wear the SOULs out on the back of your slippers
I’ll leave you bent out of shape like italics, so listen
I’m an icon! The only Star you are is Patrick, you misfit!
You’re looking big boned and awfully flimsy
You’d turn to dust just going down a chimney
Shaking kid’s hands? Man, you’re getting too Frisky
My bars are serving you harder than Grillby’s
I’m like a Jack O’ Lantern - my legacy’s keeping lit
But judging by your boss fight - you’re used to sleeper hits

Sans:
Heya. You’ve been busy, huh? This isn’t the first of your rapping jests
Bud, if you’re stepping to me, you’re really not gonna like what happens next
I’m leaving your sins crawling down your back and neck
This showman is less professional than my text
It’s time for your judgement, so hope you pass the test
Sounds like on the track you’re a True Pacifist
Listen Jack, you’re a classic but not flawless
You’re a facet, a mascot of Hot Topic
But couldn’t capture the masses, you’re not popping
And gonna crash like it’s Jack-in-the-box office
Looking back to the rabbit you held hostage
You should’ve asked ‘bout the crafting of hip hopping
Even Alphys’ Lab in the Hotland
Couldn’t bring you back after how hard this brat’s fallen
You’re a reckless ruler that your town is Tim Burdened with
Your plot’s more stitched together than your girlfriend is
I’m thankful that Asgore is just a passive king
You leave your citizens burning in Halloween
Kidnapping Santa? Cultural appropriation?
Even my costume in Smash was better representation
So stop all your carols - this monarch’s in peril
A hotshot as bare as his snob goth apparel
I’ll knock knock on your little sock hop and fire my shots off,
Like my name was Lock, Shock and Barrel


Jack Skellington:
Even on a beat, this skeleton just has flat lines
With bars like that, I’m asking - do you wanna have a bad rhyme?
You started a prankster like loosey-goosey
But you turned to a sad sack like Oogie Boogie
If you stand and do nothing, you’ll rot and you’ll suffer
I’m killing this beat - you can call it your brother
I’ll give you this - among preteen children, you’re sure successful
How ironic, you went from underground to surface level
I’m lighting you up like my top pup
Compared to Sandy Claws, you’re washed up
I may be the pumpkin, but Chara
Left you the only one who’s carved up

Sans:
Once a year you appear hyped up by nobody
Popping up like you’re a glorified So Sorry
All just to terrify children 
Your film should’ve come with a trigger-treat warning, you’re so boring
This no name’s growth became only respectable three decades later, don’t gloat up your fame
You hoped and you prayed about all of the dough you could make on opening day
But nobody came. 
Bud, check the legacy I’ve developed
My game crushes your Rotten Tomatoes, you’ll never ketchup 
And with my sequel, my franchise is sure to make it
While you’ll end up like your employees - filled with de-termination

Written by Eddiefrb
Directed by Eddiefrb
Mixed and Mastered by Freshy Kanal
Instrumental prod. by Dansonn and Freshy Kanal
Jack Skellington Illustrated by BMB
Sans Illustrated by Shaunt

Jack Skellington vs Sans - Rap Battle (ANIMATION VS ANYTHING: Chapter 1 Finale)

Home of Lame-Ass Rap Battles, its side series Half-Ass Rap Battles, and maybe the occasional cover of someone else's battle.