TCGTE

The Complete Guide to Everything (in chronological order)

tcgte

We look back on Michael Jackson's career, legacy and various types of pets in their truimphent and unnecessarily long return to audio podcasting.  

Michael Jackson

A how-to guide, also ideas for funny things to do to cavemen if you ever have the opportunity. 

Time Travel

An exhaustive look into the world's most famous septulogy, 80's boobs, the differences between bums and hobos, and special announcements. 

Police Academy and Bums vs. Hobos

Tom and Tim discuss how this episode will not have a single topic, and then proceed to talk about Weird Al for an hour.

Weird Al

New Travel Agencies, Letters to Criminals. "I'll Be Missing You", Adopting a Teenager, My Super Sweet Sixteen

Letters to Famous Prisoners

Hate waiting in line at the DMV? We come up with solutions to the Department of Motor Vehicle's woes in this episode. Also, we talk about lucid dreaming, college football games and the fact that the two hosts of this program hate each other. Also, learn how to calculate your Jerk Quotient.

Department of Motor Vehicles

Tales of rich lady pizzeria haggling, Tom willing to pay exorbitant prices for Back to the Future Nike Air Mags, selfish notions of wishing NYC was grittier, the Ark of the Covenant being a nuclear device, nuclear explosions thousands of years ago, Ancient Volcanos and some advice about sending us drunk emails in the middle of the night.

Ancient Aliens

Musings on Two and a Half Men, the importance of nice buns, the scam behind McDonald's Monopoly game, Tom's heartbreaking tale of childhood loneliness, Tim almost sacrifices his life for the best hamburger in NYC, plus we solve some problems with girlfriend friends and 80s sax songs.

Hamburgers

This week, Tom and Laugh-A-Minute Bill Barnaby pay tribute to Steve Jobs and celebrate his legacy. Also covered: KB Toys vs. Toys R Us, racist Commodore 64 games, prank calling the Home Shopping Network instead of going on spiritual journeys to India, using a computer with a weird cassette tape drive, doctors chopping their own salads, Tom's ill-fated trip to the doctor's office and seeing your pediatrician when you're 20 years old.

Steve Jobs

Zombies! Zombies! Zombies! This week we talk about the all things zombies including The Walking Dead, World War Z, real life Haitian zombies and how we'd fare in the zombie apocalypse. And also: using this podcast as torture, overtipping jerk baristas, dating habits of the petite and the last episode of M*A*S*H.

Zombies

Tom reviews the new Batman Arkham City, Batman Goggles, Tim's Homeschooling, sexy smock Halloween costumes, poisoned Halloween candy, celebrating Halloween as a responsible adult, a tragic Pepper the House Horse update, befriending bums and Tim's call for recipes.

Halloween Spooktacular 2011

This week we go through the millions of emails we receive from our loyal listeners. They ask us for advice, correct our many mistakes, provide more information on topics from previous episodes and give us slow cooker recipes. We also talk about annoying questions at Halloween parties, calling into radio shows and fighting with the hosts, strange radio shows that report on children's playground gossip and we try to coordinate a podcast dinner party with all of our listeners.

Listener Mail

This week we discuss Tim's new tell-all book, bringing your own bread to a deli, Tom losing out on the role of a lifetime in The Dark Knight Rises, setting up booby traps for marathon runners and we solve a young woman's problems with meeting men.

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Marathons

This week we cover Tom's continuing Batman-related depression, tales of playground cowardice, the mistaken belief that Zooey Deschanel is attainable and irritatingly opportunistic crooners. We also tackle a New York Times article about a fool, receive an invitation to Thanksgiving dinner at a listener's house and solve a risqué problem.

Zooey Deschanel

Tim rides a bike way further than his body was willing to take him in the name of charity and Tom attends the theater in this week's episode: Cranksgiving / Sleep No More.

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Cranksgiving & Sleep No More

Tim and Tom discuss their upcoming NYC Live Show on December 30th and then get right into the Muppets. Topics include being afraid of Muppet enthusiasts, Tim's childhood fears of Muppets coming alive in his room, Tom's Jim Henson college stories, OJ Simpson's ill-advised pranks, the sad fate of trench coats and Fraggle Rock as an antidote to laser-shooting robots. Also, theories are discussed regarding a college professor who places a lot of importance on snacks.