SoulRue - i'm not alright

Lyrics

Always wanted you and no one else
No one else

I won’t lie I’m really dead inside
You don’t see it though got a smile I hide behind
Fell to my knees never felt so weak
Sweep me off my feet now I’m six feet deep
I ain't wanna lose you but I'm losin’ me
Lately been lonely silence be abusing me
Layin' in this coffin heart barely knockin'
Craving your company breath barely droppin'
Around you I don't use no caution 
My voice gets low as it slowly softens
Bury me alive in your options
At least when it hurts I’m watchin’


I sleep all day I’m up all night
Tell em I’m okay but I’m not alright
Keep them curtains closed block the light
I’m stuck in my head just losin time
Messages blowin up my phone
But I leave em on read sorry I'm trynna let go
Smile on my face but I’m really alone
Just waitin for the night to take me home
I guess I should move on but I can’t
Second guessing every move every plan
Runnin in circles worn out my shoes
Every road just leads to you

Empty threat another debt
They all winning while I drown in regret
Try to rewrite what I already bled
But the outcome just repeats in my head
If I could just rewind time
I’d speak those thoughts I kept inside
Change those nights I stayed in bed
Let love speak not fear instead
Never let my mind take hold
Of all the things I dread the most
But now I’m cracked my soul exposed
Tryna build back what I let go

Staring at the ceiling breathin slow
Heartbreak echoes in the undertone
Tried to erase your name from the page
But the ink still bleeds still stains
Now I’m drowning in emotion
Don’t even fight just floatin
Every turn brings me back again
To a place where it all began

I sleep all day I’m up all night 
Say I’m okay but I’m not alright
Curtains closed yeah no more light
I’m lost in thoughts as I try to fight
Phone full of ghosts I don’t reply
Smile for the world but I’m barely alive
Just me and the dark in my disguise
Just wait another night and I'll take my life

So I sit in all this silence echoes of your name
Wishing I could heal but I'll always feel the same

Always wanted you and no one else
No one else
Always wanted you and no one else

i'm not alright

tears in my angel wings

[prod. karma rhythm + convolk]

video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SiSXhyAZfEw

happy valentines day...

My life aint shit look through yuh
Hate me hate this What it do yuh
Trust you i did what a fool yuh
Die quick i wish it was with you yuh

Suicide pact
Suicide pact
Imma lose it all in suicide pact
Suicide pact 
Suicide pact
Imma lose it all and imma never get it back

I deserve everything im gonna get
I got this sound that nobody heard of yet
Fuck money bitch im bouncing like a check
All these rappers faker than the shit they flex

And i dont need you
No i dont wantchu on my team
I dont believe you
Because you always lie to me
Dont wanna see you
Cuz when i do then i cant sleep
And now im see thru 
Because the one i hate is me

With slamming the door in my face
hate me and want me to leave this place
A weak disgrace

They say that ill come up someday
But i want it now ill keep the stage
wont be replaced

My life aint shit look through yuh
Hate me hate this What it do yuh
Trust you i did what a fool yuh
Die quick i wish it was with you yuh

Suicide pact
Suicide pact
Imma lose it all in suicide pact
Suicide pact 
Suicide pact
Imma lose it all and imma never get it back

Suicide pact
Suicide pact
Imma lose it all in suicide pact
Suicide pact 
Suicide pact
Imma lose it all and imma never get it back

Never get it back

suicide pact

prod me, @aarne0 and coprod by @ccinos 
[prod. aarne & convolk]
see you at my show
Im too scared to play it
Have a crush on you but i dont know how to say it

Drinking on some xans cuz im feeling really anxious
You ignore me now so dont call me when im famous
X2

Never knew i would ever feel it again
One look in your eyes and im a kid again
Wanna talk to you but im the one that you dont see
Running after you like a mothafuckin track meet 

I been working hard drop a song every damn week
Fuck my whole school if I died theyd be laughing
Failing out of every single class that I’m taking
smile on my face they can’t tell that I’m faking 

Почему почему почему ты
Говоришь говоришь что я узкий
X2

no joke
Baby I’m broke 
no smoke
baby I’ll choke

Fell in love with you in the second that our eyes met 
now you’re front row at my show and I’m on next 

see you at my show
Im too scared to play it
Have a crush on you but i dont know how to say it

Drinking on some xans cuz im feeling really anxious
You ignore me now so dont call me when im famous
X2

I been working hard drop a song every damn week
Fuck my whole school if I died theyd be laughing
Failing out of every single class that I’m taking
smile on my face they can’t tell that I’m faking

front row

Life's fucking crazy
I think I'm fading
Always in the background
That's where I'm staying
She gunned my fucking heart down
And replaced it
I have nothing left now
Man I hate it

Even if you tried to
You couldn't save me
Always getting lied to
My life is wasting
I'm so fucking tired
My dreams are dead to me
I'm not gonna make it
The reaper next to me

Watching over every move
So much sleep I lose
Every night I contemplate
Like what the fuck to do
I don't wanna feel this way
I'm so stuck in place
All I ever knew was pain
And fucking rainy days
I can't get outside my brain
I'm smoking purple haze
Make the demons go away
And all my thoughts erase
Don't know why they fucking hate
It makes no sense to me
I just wanna help myself
Discover inner peace

To me I am the enemy
There's something wrong with me
The chemicals inside my brain
Are fucking hurting me
The memories keep coming back
It's like their haunting me
Lying to my fucking face
Just tell me honestly
You ain't got no loyalty
I hate this fucking town
Wish that I could burn it down
All these snakes around

Life's fucking crazy
I think I'm fading
Always in the background
That's where I'm staying
She gunned my fucking heart down
And replaced it
I have nothing left now
Man I hate it

Life's fucking crazy
I think I'm fading
Always in the background
That's where I'm staying
She gunned my fucking heart down
And replaced it
I have nothing left now
Man I hate it

spotify

fading (prod. cartier)

@ihateshinigami

it never rains anymore
i've been laying on the floor
so disgusted with myself
cant fucking take this anymore

i'm the thorn in the roses
body decomposing
leave me in the past
I bet no one will even notice

hands shaky like my life
its fucking hard just to type
none of my friends are alright
just hiding tears in our eyes

trust me i wish i could stop caring
i swear to god i'm fucking trying
my heads just fucked up from the lying
honest i wish you never met me

my heads just fucked up from the lying
honest i wish you never met me

it never rains anymore
i've been laying on the floor
so disgusted with myself
cant fucking take this anymore

i'm the thorn in the roses
body decomposing
leave me in the past
I bet no one will even notice

i have this this hole in my chest
it hurts so bad i can't rest
waking up from all this stress
i'm fucking trying my best
to live a life on my own
i always stare at my phone
waiting for you to hit me back
because i always feel alone

im the thorn in the roses
body decomposing
leave me in the past
I bet no one will even notice

leave me in the past
i bet no one will even notice

shinigami x 93feetofsmoke - it never rains anymore

From the bottom of my cold heart
You know I loved you
Put you in my past life
That's what the drugs do
Acid on a cold night
Fucking freezing
Oh my god
I'm so high
Think I'm peaking

I'm going the distance
Just gotta stay consistent
They would never listen
But now they treat me different
It's because I'm glo'd up
Gave it all my focus
You gotta work your hardest
If you want people to notice

No days off I'm never sleeping
Writing songs in my head
While I'm dreaming
All my life I'm stuck
Searching for a meaning
Wish I gave a fuck
I can't find a reason

I can't find a reason
Bitch I'm smoking trees
And I'm so clueless
Does she love me?
Or she leaving
Oh that's perfect
That's exactly what I needed
A broken heart
My soul is dark
I feel defeated

A broken heart
My soul is dark
I feel defeated

A broken heart
My soul is dark
I feel defeated

A broken heart
My soul is dark
I feel defeated

A broken heart
My soul is dark
I feel defeated

A broken heart
I'm rolling hard
In the night
And I'm looking at the stars
Took my life
And she ripped it all apart
I put it back
But you can see the scars

You can see the scars
All the pain inside my eyes
I'm just another kid
That's tortured by his mind
Thought of getting out
Like 1000 fucking times
I can barely breathe
But I just say I'm fine

I just say I'm fine
Anxiety inside
Makes it hard to sleep at night
Smoking get me right
Gets me out head
You talking shit to me
But I'm in your bitches bed
In between her legs

I be going stupid
I'm ruthless
Go behind my back
I'll leave you toothless
Leave you looking useless
Like bro what are you doing
Your whole life a lie
Say you winning but you losing

From the bottom of my cold heart
You know I loved you
Put you in my past life
That's what the drugs do
Acid on a cold night
I'm fucking freezing
Oh my god
I'm so high
I think I'm peaking

past life (prod. xtravulous)

Every day without you seems
like such a waste and I’m afraid that I’m not ever gonna be the same
and everyday I’m so ashamed
to let them see what we’ve become and how it’s killing me
lately everybody asks where I’ve been
I’ve been doing my best to keep quiet
in my room missing you oh they’re lying
they don’t care they just can’t take the silence
lately everybody asks where I’ve been
I’ve been doing my best to keep quiet
In my room missing you and I’m trying 
so hard to restart but I’m finding that 

Everyday without you seems
like such a waste and I’m afraid that I’m not ever gonna be the same
everyday I’m so ashamed
to let them see what we’ve become and how it’s killing me

sick of spending every second every day
wishing that you’d come back or say something
everybody always wants something from me except for you and it’s so confusing 
sick of spending every moment every night remembering when you’d come over like it was just yesterday but who am I kidding 
did it to myself and there’s no forgetting

every day (prod. neek)

day 38 cant make it
counting scars like marks in the pavement
all the love in me turned to hatred
and beautiful things bring pain when
they're gone like we all will be
wish I could kill my fucking feelings
stuck in this hell scratched your name in the ceiling
starting to think that this is really how it ends
been 6 months since I've seen you
hope you're doing good yea me too
things have changed so much and I've seen a new life
it all fell into place without you by my side
then 10 years came and went so quick
your first love's gone and got 3 kids
it took so long but there's so much I've missed
I've learned life hurts but I love this

And all I ever really wanted was you in it
Maybe I'm meant to spend forever as a masochist

all I have left is in my head
a blank space with your name in it
wish you would have stayed but I understand
went too deep and drowned again
I think the pain made me love instead
pulled out the oages inside my head
felt what it means to see everything and
every being for what it is
I still miss you so much
but everythings hopeless and its not so bad
add another slash and run it back screaming

Day 38 cant make it
counting scars like marks in the pavement
all the love in me turned to hatred
and beautiful things bring pain when
they're gone like we all will be
wish I could kill my fucking feelings
stuck in this hell scratched your name in the ceiling
starting to think that this is really how it ends
been 6 months since I've seen you
hope you're doing good yea me too
things have changed so much and I've seen a new life
It all fell into place without you by my side
then 10 years came and went so quick
your first love's gone and got 3 kids
it took so long but there's so much I've missed
I've learned life hurts but I love this

Day 38

day 38 (prod. shon lindauer)

weird freestyle [prod. shinjin]

prod. jD & Xander

Hope I get to see you again
Before this life comes to an end
Cause you make my head fucking spin

On the edge
I don't wanna fall
Mastercard
When I hit the mall
Girl for you
I'd buy it all
Dress you up
Just like a doll
Pins and needles
When she's on me
In my lap in the backseat
She's my heart
She's all I need
Late at night
And I'm smoking trees

Up all night
I still can't sleep
Head's a mess
Yeah I'm a creep
On my own I walk the street
Her shadow's haunting me

Her shadow's haunting me

Only thing I wanna see

I wish you were next to me
Forever till we rest in peace
Together till we both can't breathe
Connected through our memories
I love how she's so unique
I'm so high they cannot reach
Margielas up on both my feet
They jealous now
Wanna be like me

Margielas up on both my feet

They jealous now wanna be like me

On the edge
I don't wanna fall
Mastercard
When I hit the mall
Girl for you
I'd buy it all
Dress you up
Just like a doll
Pins and needles
When she's on me
In my lap in the backseat
She's my heart
She's all I need
Late at night
And I'm smoking trees

Up all night
I still can't sleep

Head's a mess
Yeah I'm a creep