Name: Bow Before Me; I am Testiclés by cr8s
Duration: 3 min 4 s
Description: Pendulously swingin' like Edgar Allen Poe shit

Just listen already. Then go to SmaBoi.com

I Been Done Dirty (SmaBoi)

Flushin' a dump of the mushiest lumps; had enough of our slump

I'm In A Rush To Feel Numb

I'm In A Rush To Feel Numb (SmaBoi)

Pendulously swingin' like Edgar Allen Poe shit

I am Testiclés

Bow Before Me; I am Testiclés

We did this. There's no excuse that our grandchildren will understand.

#tribalcore

Black Lung

Black Lung (SmaBoi Climate Disruption Rap)

Battling the Great Aku wherever he may appear

I Am The Ronin (SmaBoi Rap)

Unidentified Extra Testicle (SmaBoi)

Hippity, Hoppity, Off My Property

Jam for New Year's Eve, 2025:

[CHORUS]
Soon as we arrive, all attention gets stolen
Everybody clock the rizz 
Heads turn as we stroll in
Sweetie, don't be shy
You smolderin'; we golden
2025 and we've arrived, and we just roll in!

[VERSE]
New Year's Eve, just chillin' in my throne
In this actual castle: the new 
  home that I own; gotta
Pair a pets, n parapets,
  get plenty a dome, cuz the
Tramps get amply damp, clams scant'ly
   Randily shown

Last year was shit, but I flushed out da skibidi
Rent-free I live in your head, 
Can't get ridda me
Foot fetish like Cinderella's prince, bippity
Boppity boo, now I'm dickin' her wickedly

But I need no wand, cuz my dick casts magic
Rose up from my history, massively tragic
Unlocked the mystery, choose it, then have it
Livin like royalty, self-made and mad rich

I am the king of this beautiful kingdom 
This sword I swing, and that 
Stone that it springs from
Songs shall they sing of my 
Exploits and income
I'm ya best wingman, call bitches 'n bring em!

[CHORUS] 
Soon as we arrive, all attention gets stolen
Everybody clock the rizz 
Heads turn as we stroll in
Sweetie, don't be shy
You smolderin'; we golden
2025 and we've arrived, and we just roll in!

[INSTRUMENTAL BRIDGE]

[VERSE]
I just turn forty a few weeks ago
Bout the same time as my girl said no
To the wedding six months from now, 
That's pretty low
Now I'm just healing and taking it slow

Here with my family, sharing this cheer
This ain't Encino Man, it's my dude Pierce
It's been tradition for us seven years
Sparkling juice since my 
Dude don't drink beer

We don't need anyone else to be here
Sometimes go big, sometimes one dear
Don't need Times Square,
   or no girl, let's be clear -
Right now, I'm single, but don't shed one tear 

Back in July, lost my job, my career
In jeopardy cuz of the AI that's near
None of that matters, so lend me ya ear
Pierce and I jammin into the New Year!

[CHORUS] 
Soon as we arrive, all attention gets stolen
Everybody clock the rizz 
Heads turn as we stroll in
Sweetie, don't be shy
You smolderin'; we golden
2025 and we've arrived, and we just roll in!

[INSTRUMENTAL BRIDGE]

[VERSE]
All of that said, I been livin wit pride 
Got 2 young ladies n give em great lives
Christmas was awesome, 
I built em a slide
Lately I'm feeling so much more alive

Finding ambition, and purpose and drive
Taking the bull by the horns, n just ride 
Spreading my music so far and so wide
All makes worthwhile each 
Tear that I cried

Yes, I had suffered, and 
struggled and sighed
Stuck asking why she had cheated n lied
But now my energy's better applied, n
Someday I will find a more suitable bride

No longer mourning the future that died
No longer feeling so frazzled and fried 
Into this new unknown journey, I dive, n
I know we gon' SLAY in 2025!

[CHORUS] 
Soon as we arrive, all attention gets stolen
Everybody clock the rizz 
Heads turn as we stroll in
Sweetie, don't be shy
You smolderin'; we golden
2025 and we've arrived, and we just roll in!

We Jus' Rollin' (New Year's Eve, 2025)

It's been a few years, but I'm finally airing out some dirty laundry.

[CHORUS (x2)]
How quickly shitty friends will swiftly forget
All you did to put em up, soon as they get upset
Fools ruled by emotions, forever beset by
Demons screaming out, played like a cassette

[VERSE]
I been tryna cut ties with all these nitwits dat hurt me,
It's not working; fake bitches is harder to shake than herpes
They say one thing to ya face, it's all syrupy-sweet
Next week, they flip sides, tryna merc me

Some people tired of looking over they shoulders
Grow eyeballs in the back of they head, 
Dreadin drive-bys through they drywall
But one cannot draw comparisons
To the size of my balls, fuck y'all

E tu, Brute? You really do me like that?
After I leveraged connections 
From two decades and sat
Through immaturity; absurdity, and all of your crap
At 24 years old, you still one hell of a brat

But of course you know that,
At 24 you know everything
Mr. Dunning-Kreuger super sleuth
Can figure out anything
It don't matter if the subject is hotly debated
Or if you intoxicated, statin it all matter-of-fact

[CHORUS (x2)]
How quickly shitty friends will swiftly forget
All you did to put em up, soon as they get upset
Fools ruled by emotions, forever beset by
Demons screaming out, played like a cassette

[VERSE]
Without a college degree, you've arrived to set free
All of the simple minds imprisoned by
Small thoughts you've decreed
clearly ignorant, pre-figured 
  in your mind is the key:
"If only all of social media would listen to me!

"Can't you see? Beware the devil known
As freedom of speech
We have to censor those who say things
To which none should agree
That's why we're here to fight oppression
Just by pressin delete
Cuz getting feelings hurt's the worst
Of things that ever could be!"

Never seeing, myopic, that it's a subtler topic
Than you can reconcile briefly
while you're high on the chronic
But then your words turn condescending
Cuz you're "venting", sardonic.
Later, it's fine when it's YOU
Whose words are twistedly chthonic?

You shit all over relationships
In their nascency, blatantly
Disrespectin the years I invested
Building you agency
Today, you winnin big, by large in thanks
To how I had patiently taught you your trade
But now you debasing me, and doin it shamelessly?

[CHORUS (x2)]
How quickly shitty friends will swiftly forget
All you did to put em up, soon as they get upset
Fools ruled by emotions, forever beset by
Demons screaming out, played like a cassette

[OUTRO]
A better man is stoic enough to stand by his team
But when I look at you I see a little boy in his teens
Cuz grown adults don't dime each other out
Not after your dream got actualized...
But no surprises, you just ain't what you seem.


Played Like a Cassette

Is This What It Seems - Phantasmagoria, Act II

Developer of interactive online media, hobbyist skydiver, professional voice actor, musician and business owner. Producer of musical scores & independent video games. Past exploits and destinations include the Eiffel Tower, Stonehenge, Chichen Itza, X'Caret, Cozumel, Old Faithful, coast-to-coast in the US and Australia, Shakespeare's home, Canada, PAX East, Burning Man, Alcatraz, and Shakespeare's Globe Theater, among others. Co-presented on stage with Kevin Mitnick and Steve Wozniak. Met and chilled with quite a few celebrities and luminaries, including Michael Dell, Dr. Vinton Cerf, MC Frontalot, mc chris, MC Lars, Tahmoh Penikett, Alona Tal, Richard Speight, Misha Collins and Jared Padalecki. Hobbies include skydiving, bungee jumping and free climbing. Once waterskied on the noses of dolphins.

Bow Before Me; I am Testiclés

cr8s

Related tracks