Copyright Erin Wolf 2021

Bill Murray Photo Credit: Getty Image / Stephaie Cardinale-Corbis / Contributor
https://brobible.com/culture/article/bill-murray-story-painting-suicide

Brian Murray Photo Credit: Erin Wolf

Week 32 Prompt: No Uncertain Terms

*Note about the song: Yes, I was born a Murray. No, I'm not related to any famous Murrays (that I'm aware of). Growing up, I was asked about pretty much any Murray with fame or infamy and what our familial relation was. Two of the most common questions: "Are you related to the singer, Ann Murray?" And, of course, "Ohmygosh, is Bill Murray your dad?!" Nope, but Brian is, and an elusive man is he. 

you ask about my father
but why do you even bother
probably won't meet him anyway
you want to know my surname
from when i was a young dame
been Murray since back in the day

now before you get excited
as i see you so delighted
let me tell you in no uncertain terms:
Bill Murray ain't my father, but Brian is

Brian keeps it quiet
while talking all day long
he'll always be happiest
with the baseball game on
he's rough around the edges
and he'll ask you lots of questions
just remember, Bill ain't my dad,
but Brian is

you want to know the stories
of my yesterdays and glories
you want to meet him all the same
now you know my surname 
from when i was a young dame
been Murray since my birthing day

Bill Ain't, But Brian Is

Copyright Erin Wolf 2021

*Note about the song: Bit of a ramble inspired by an old bit of writing and a friend's recent break-up and the notion that even though it needed to happen, it still hurt. 

i speak, you listen
you speak and i listen
something has broken, shifted, and changed
i spoke my truth, i feel you did the same

we said we'll continue on
but we can't the way we used to 
we're too kind, too polite, too complimentary
oh we're masking all our heartbreak in this reverie 

(oooooooohs and woooooaaaahhhs for days)

we offer thanks and apologies
like our feelings are somehow too much
oh it's more than what we can give one another, darling
oh we need more than what we can give, oh darling

oh we were so kind
oh and we just kept trying not to cry
trying not to cry

and these words are true
they say that time will take away everything
but they can't take away these damn memories

and maybe, oh maybe,
someday, someday i will find
i will find it'll sting less
than it does tonight

maybe it'll sting less 
than it does tonight

wish you all the best
oh you wish me all the best
maybe we'll find true joy someday
maybe someday

Turn Away

Copyright 2021 Erin Wolf

Week 41 Prompt: Running with Scissors
Artwork: Jonah (age 6)

*Note: Inspired by creepy art & photos from the "Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark" books by author Alvin Schwarz and illustrator Stephen Gammell. Super short on time this week, so a draft version will hold for now. May or may not "finish" the song down the line. Shall see.*

see the monster crawling over
hill and dale and valley
in the moonlight tonight

feel the air is thickening now
as i hear its breathing growing
stronger somehow tonight

mama always said
don't run with scissors
but i don't know that she ever had
these monsters

mama said 
no running with scissors
but did she have the monsters

i had hoped it was a dream
but then i see those eyes and how they gleam
gazing back at me

like a scary moment frozen
in this time i'm frozen in my stead
oh cuz i know this ain't in my head

and mama said 
don't run with scissors
but did she have 
these monsters

oh mama said
don't be running with scissors
but did she have 
these monsters

oh coming down
i will come back around this time
pass on by and everything
will be just fine

i'll swear on any grave you ask me to
oh monster, demon, whatever the hell you are - 
pass on through

oh i'm standing here with nothing
but my shears to guard me
and i know i can feel its presence
closing in on me

and i know mama said
don't run with scissors
but it ain't in my head
no it ain't 

oh i don't know what i'll do
but if i don't run soon
i'll probably wind up dead

These Monsters (Draft)

Another collaboration with Mark Anderson where I sent him the tune, and he then wrote the lyrics to fit the tune.

To fall in love
(Mark I. Anderson)

Listen to these words
Let them fall upon your soul
Like you’ve never heard before
Like you’ll never let them go
Tonight, let the fire burn us
Tonight, let two hearts learn 
This is how it feels / oh, to fall in love

Hold me close and whisper
The things that love will say
I’ll hold you close to kiss you
At the closing of each day
Tonight, is all we need
Tonight, you can believe
This is how it feels / oh, to fall in love

(Bridge)
The mystery of the ages – hidden in our kiss
Time reveals her secrets – when I’m holding you like this

Listen to our passion
Hear the rhythmic beat
Two hearts pounding faster than
Even time could keep
Tonight, we’ll just let go
Tonight, we’ll let it show us
This is how it feels / oh, to fall in love

This is how it feels / oh, to fall in love

To Fall In Love (demo)

"Used To Think It Was" (#547, 220130)

Maybe I've been wrong about some things
I can see that now
And maybe when the telephone won't ring
It's never been so loud
Or maybe I'm still dreaming and if the dream comes true
I'll find everything I've lost
Maybe sorry's not the same thing as I love you
I used to think it was

For the longest time there's been hurting
Where I wish there was none
And too many names where I've determined
There should be only one
Forever I sought mercy on demand
No matter what the cost
But a highway isn't any kind of friend
I used to think it was

Used to be so sure God I could have sworn
There was nothing I could do
But there's some things I'd change if I could do it all again
Just between me and you

Last night I saw the moon rise through the trees
In a drunk and lonely sky
Spent the morning getting on my knees
Waiting for a sign
Something's changed I can't say the reason
Maybe it's because
This is not the only road to freedom
I used to think it was

Week 05 - Used To Think It Was (220130)

Copyright Erin Wolf 2022
feat. Aoife

Week 5 Prompt: Used To Think It Was

it's not my fault you left
i used to think it was
those nights i couldn't sleep
worried at what we'd done

as the days grew cold
with winter creeping in 
my hope faded fast
like a fire turned to ash

but i didn't know what i didn't know
that spring would come again
and i didn't see what i couldn't see
that my fire wasn't dead

in those first uncertain days
couldn't seem to find my way
but like the root, like the root underground
stumbled through anyhow

and i didn't know what i didn't know
that spring would come again
and i didn't see what i couldn't see
that my fire wasn't dead

oh i didn't know what i didn't know
that spring would come again
and i didn't see what i couldn't see
that my fire wasn't dead

yeah i didn't know what i didn't know
that spring would come again
and i didn't see what i couldn't see
that my fire wasn't dead

i didn't know what i didn't know
that spring would come again
and i didn't see what i couldn't see
that my fire wasn't dead

My Fire Wasn't Dead

Week 5
 Prompt: Used to think it was

1.
I was waiting at the bus stop
Just got off a train
Caught the morning ferry ride
Left home at 5am
Sat beside a friend of mine
I hadn’t seen in ages
The swell was high and silver skies
Put us through our paces

CH
Used to think it was sunshine
Used to think it was  joy
But it s ending in sorrow and storm clouds
Tho I had yearned for much more


2.
Deep beneath the harbour
Held with our dreams
Breaking creaking cracking boards
Lonely stony seas
Should we speak of lovers lost
Long for their returning
Could we dive into the night
Oh how are hearts were burning 

Used to think it was sunshine
Used to think it was  joy
But it s ending in sorrow and storm clouds
Tho I had yearned for much more

Silver Skies week 5

I was learning some new-to-me techniques and thought I'd experiment with samples for a potential live set in between the band-based sets.  All samples are royalty free sounds via Loopmasters.

Montage of Dance

I ran into the following excerpt that inspired this song. I hope you find something in it that hooks your mind up just like it did for me.

“Hypocrisy is unavoidable and necessary. If people were required, at all times, to live up to ideals of honesty, loyalty, and compassion in order for those ideals to exist, there would be no ideals. Being a moral person is a struggle in which everyone repeatedly fails, becoming a hypocrite in each of those moments. A just and peaceful society depends on hypocrites who ultimately refused to abandon the ideals they betray.” 
Michael Gerson

*****

Couldn't if I tried

couldn't help to be the first to walk away
troubled, stone-in-hand
who am I to say that I know better?

what's the point in making claims I couldn't possibly sustain and
is it better than to look the other way and to throw my hands up?

they say i should let go
that it's indefensible
not worth the effort
and just hypocritical
but i'd hate myself
because I'm not that cynical
they say to let go
but I couldn't if I tried
but I couldn't if I tried
no I couldn't if I tried

how can anybody face the doom and gloom,
the elephant in the room
when we often fail at making sense?

what's the point in making claims no one could possibly sustain and
is it better than to look the other way and to throw our hands up?

most of us are tryna be better
and all of us are far from there
should we just give up
since we know we'll fail again?

Couldn't If I Tried

No Where To Go
Co-write with Cristhopper Armenta & Tamora Wilson, New York, NY © July 1, 2022

I enjoyed the process of working with Cristhopper to write and put this together.  He has so many great musical ideas!

To SAW:  Yes, this did take more than one week!  It was a lot of fun. :) 


No Where To Go

I take mine with sugar no cream
Half an hour away from my dream
Spun around and coffee flew on his bright blue coat
With a smile he said, “Don’t worry, it’s okay.”
I said, “I’d love to stop and chat,
But I don’t have time for that.
Here’s some napkins to help clean.
I gotta head out to my dream.”

What if all my hard work doesn’t pay off?
This idea better be good enough to impress them

Fluttering in my stomach
So many doubts start to come up
Tried to stop this feeling, but oh!
The butterflies have nowhere to go

Standing tall in front of the room
This is the moment of truth
Open the portfolio looking for the designs
Somehow I left them behind
Heard her say, “This better be good.”
I improvised the best I could.
The last thing I remember were those words,
“We’ll call you.”

What if all my hard work doesn’t pay off?
This idea better be good enough to impress them

Fluttering in my stomach
So many doubts start to come up
Tried to stop this feeling, but oh!
The butterflies have nowhere to go

Walking down the street to the train
Wondering why I even came
Unfamiliar houses on an unfamiliar road
“Excuse me,” said a man in a bright blue coat
“Did you leave these at the cafe?”
I said, “Don’t worry, it’s okay.”
He liked my designs, he wants to see more
He thinks I’m what he’s looking for

What if all my hard work finally pays off?
Are these ideas good enough to impress him?

Fluttering in my stomach
So many doubts start to come up
Tried to stop this feeling, but oh!
The butterflies have nowhere to go

Nowhere To Go (with Cristhopper)

A Place Called Eldorado (#431, 210121)

 * by Dan Rivers + James Tristan Redding * 

Place called Eldorado a couple hours from OKC
One square mile somewhere in the middle between you and me
Sick of these palm trees and I miss the way you laugh
What if I go east and you head west and we cut the drive in half

Bet there's fields of gold and green that glisten in the rain
Never made a footprint there and no one knows your name
Do you still have that Subaru with a peace sign on the back
I got me an old Chevrolet and I just filled up the tank

Hope you're leavin' Greenville L.A. just disappeared
I'm flyin' like an eagle there ain't no rear view mirror
Mile markers flashing by lead to where I'll spend all my tomorrows
A place called Eldorado

A couple books and a baseball cap the shirt you bought for me
Heart racin' as I tossed 'em all on the empty shotgun seat
Bet you're on a two lane road in the Appalachian snow
Somewhere in the desert I turned on that radio

Guess you got through Knoxville I just passed Santa Fe
And I ain't gonna' stop 'til I see your pretty face
Mile markers flashing by lead to where I'll spend all my tomorrows
A place called Eldorado

Sometime after midnight I tried to call you up
Telephone kept ringin' got this feelin' in my gut
Shook it off like I always do and rolled the windows down
Lit another cigarette too late to turn back now

Mile markers flashing by lead to where I'll spend all my tomorrows
A place called Eldorado

Couldn't If I Tried

cristhopper