As a person with STPD I relate to this song SO BAD

Cien has the best voice I’ve ever heard

PV: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DtKXThAkQnk

Hi everyone!!! Sorry I haven't posted in so long but you know the drill! 

I started this song in 2018, and it's gone through dozens of overhauls in both the lyrics and music. The song kind of grew with me until it turned into this, and I could finally say what I've been wanting to say with it. 

The point of this song is that you never really stop working on yourself. It's about getting better at navigating the depths of despair and finding a way out faster than you could before. This one specially goes out to those who aren't at their first rodeo.  I really hope you like it. 


CREDITS:
Music and lyrics by Crusher
Accordion by Dmitry Karev
Mix/Mastering by darkbluecat @darkbluecat
MV by Angela M Chong
MV text by Starry-P

special thanks to NEUTROGIC!

---

Lyrics:



La la la dee da dee da
La la la dee da dee da






The day of a funeral
The mourners dressed in black
They came to say their piece and go
No, they're not looking back

I was the first to arrive
and the last one to leave
time ticked on without me 
while I waded through the grief






I'm drowning in my goodbyes
when I start to realize
I'm not quite sure who died
Until a chill runs up my spine

Six feet under,
and now I start to wonder
if for all this time,
perhaps the funeral was mine...





I know I can't be mad,
but I'm absolutely livid!
To think that I was dead...!
When I thought that I was living...!!

Just take me as I am,
A memory so vivid...
and savor all the parts you can, 
Cuz no one mourns the wicked!

La da da da dee da da
Absolutely livid!

La da da da dee da da
A memory so vivid...

No one mourns the wicked!




Here lies our dearly beloved, 
who suffered a lack of common sense
And though we'll miss her,
The best thing to do here is let the dead rest






This is the part where the real work starts,
Where I reap what I've sown, and own up 
When the harvest begins,
Let it wash away my sins 

Never tilled a field with seeds to grow
Never watered, weeded, picked or eaten
Anything of my own, on my own,
But I know I've got to

Tend to the ends I loosened over time,
And put out the bridges I set on fire, 
That's right, it's gonna take a while
to clean up the mess I left behind, cuz

This is the part where the real work starts,
the real work starts, the real work starts,
Where I reap what I've sown and own up, 
and pay what I owe






If after all this time,
You find I'm all but timid
Bear in mind that turning tides
could leave an ocean winded

My heart will only grow with me,
Who owes to mend it
and as seasons come and go, 
Living on becomes the ending

I know I shouldn't laugh,
but it's hard not to do
The shallow grave my temple claimed...
...was just the hole I dug myself into

Just take me as I am,
A memory so vivid...
and then savor all the parts you can, cuz
No one mourns the wicked!

We all could use some mending!
Living on becomes the ending!
A memory so vivid...
No one mourns the wicked!

No one mourns the wicked...

Wicked (feat. Eleanor Forte)

HIT ME HARD AND SOFT

BIRDS OF A FEATHER

Don't just listen, go watch the music video! It's right here:  https://youtu.be/ve67rq4YRig

- What is Alter/Ego? -

Alter/Ego is a brand-new, free singing synthesis program brought to you by the creators of Chipspeech. Like Chipspeech, it's a plugin you can use right in your DAW of choice. Unlike Chipspeech, the voices it hosts are completely modern - Daisy being the first.

Daisy, voiced by Vocaloid producer Crusher-P, can be used in both Alter/Ego and Chipspeech. 

Alter/Ego will be released in the second week of September 2015. Watch Plogue's website for more details: http://www.plogue.com/

- Credits -

Music & Lyrics: Pianobench (RorunaK)
Vocal editing: Giraffey & Crusher-P
Art : Crusher-P
Video: Giraffey
Alter/Ego & Chipspeech: Plogue Arte et Technologie, Inc

- A message from Giraffey - 

I had a lot of fun editing the vocals and making the video for this song. It's such a well made song, Piano really outdid himself! Thanks for letting me help, my favorite bench, and I can't wait for Daisy's release!

- A message from Piano -

I was honored to be able to beta test Daisy! A/E and Chipspeech are ridiculously fun for me to use, and I hope everyone will love using Daisy as much as I do when she releases. Thank you so much to everyone at Plogue for giving us such a wonderful opportunity, and a world of hugs to my favorite giraffe for making such an amazing video!

- Links & Downloads -

Song download (contains instrumental + VSQx): http://www.mediafire.com/download/rrcx6fjgk2hsecj/Little_Ripper_Boy.zip

Plogue Chipspeech: http://www.plogue.com/products/chipspeech/
Giraffey's channel: https://www.youtube.com/user/therandomgirraffe98
Crusher's channel: https://www.youtube.com/user/HatsuneMikuVocaloid2

【Alter/Ego Demo】 Little Ripper Boy 【Daisy】

➥  Video: https://youtu.be/dKHLPKz4sLE
➥ Join the Family: www.patreon.com/LittleJayneyCakes

【♥ CREDITS ⇣ 】
➥ Original Song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SqaVWWMaRxY
➥ Music & Original Lyrics: Kikuo
➥ English Lyrics: Juby ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_eeE5RSlxu4 )

[English] O Light - Jayn

Song/Art: Crusher-P
VSQx: Fruutella
Mixing: Living Tombstone

LYRICS:
---------------------------------------------------
VERSE 1
---------------------------------------------------
I haven't been myself lately,
I don't blame you for not wanting to stay.
Saying things that I don't mean,
Not meaning what I say.

When it's good, it's so good,
When it's bad, it's SO BAD.
Even when I knew what I had 

What am I supposed to say,
when I end up driving everyone away?
---------------------------------------------------
CHORUS:
---------------------------------------------------
Cause, I am on fire,
A crying, burning liar,
Seeing nothing, nothing, but myself,
And I'm the one with the lighter

Every inch of me is charred,
God, what happened to my heart?
I'm about to fall apart,
again, again
And you're never coming back,
And I'm not okay with that,
and I should've never let myself get attached,
again, again
again, again
again, again
again, again
again, again

---------------------------------------------------
VERSE 2
---------------------------------------------------

What's done is done,
And nothing's gonna change.
I should be moving on,
But I still feel the same.

And it's like every day is a fight for my life
to get some self control,
And when you've forgotten who I am, 
it just feels, it just feels....
I'm nobody at all.

---------------------------------------------------
BRIDGE 
---------------------------------------------------
I found myself 
hitting the ground,
I didn't breathe 
in case I'd drown

I should have known 
When to let go
and when to see
who I was being

Again, again, again

---------------------------------------------------
CHORUS:
---------------------------------------------------
I am on fire,
A crying, burning liar,
Seeing nothing, nothing, but myself,
And I'm the one with the lighter

Every inch of me is charred,
God, what happened to my heart?
I'm about to fall apart,
again, again
And you're never coming back,
And I'm not okay with that,
and I should've never let myself get...

Every inch of me is charred,
God, what happened to my heart?
I'm about to fall apart,
again, again
And you're never coming back,
And I'm not okay with that,
and I should've never let myself get attached,
again, again
again, again
again, again
again, again
again, again

And you're never coming back,
And I'm not okay with that,
and I should've never let myself get attached

whoa---/

Again, again

Crusher-P Ft. Gumi English - Again

BPM: 160

Verse 1:
I can't shake this feeling there's some hidden meaning
in everybody's glances and stares

I know you're discussing how I have been suffering (suffring) 
The thought of that makes me scared

You and I go hand in hand with being terrified
and if this is all that it is, then I want off this ride


Chorus:
I will never be okay with this kind of unstable life
I will never win the war despite how hard I think I fight

No matter any move I make I just can't get it right
But you know just what they say, out of sight, out of mind

Verse 2:
I can't say that I have the greatest connection
with anything here on earth

And when they all see me they smile in pity
and ask me if my heart still hurts

No matter my answer, they freeze and they clamor
and say that everything is alright

And high on their saddle, the satisfied cattle
pretend that everything is fine

You and I go hand in hand with being terrified
and if this is all that it is, then I want off this ride

You and I go hand in hand with being petrified
and if this is all that it is, then I'm wasting my time


Chorus:
I will never be okay with this kind of unstable life
I will never win the war despite how hard I think I fight

No matter any move I make I just can't get it right
But you know just what they say, out of sight, out of mind


Bridge:
And so I've waited all these years for your eternity
That's when I saw everything started and ended with me
And I apologize to you for all my ugly greed
I never had what you gave me, you gave me, you gave what I need

Chorus:
I will never be okay with this kind of unstable life
I will never win the war despite how hard I think I fight

No matter any move I make I just can't get it right
But you know just what they say, out of sight, out of mind

Crusher-P - Out Of Sight Out Of Mind

*Will take down if CircusP uploads it*

*Music,Lyrics, & Illustration by CircusP*
Additional lyrical input and assistance by nostraightanswer
CircusP's YouTube: www.youtube.com/user/VocaCircus
Circus' SoundCloud: @circusp
nostraightanswer's SoundCloud: https://soundcloud.com/nostraightanswer
YouTube Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=byWC_wXsyGI
Support Circus by purchasing the song here: https://circus-p.bandcamp.com/album/breathe

Lyrics:
Oh man, it's been a while hasn't it? 
Are you just as excited as I am? 
'Cause I've been dying to see you 
Dying to see you 
D y i n g t o s e e y o u 

Y'know you weren't the one who got infected 
You built immunity to your own poison 
I guess you thought that I would be different 
Kept this a secret 
P e o p l e b e l i e v e d i t 

I'm your dark edgy past mistake 
Said I kept you awake 
but that all was fake, right? 
Pray no one digs up the grave 
"Here lies the man" lies the girl 
If only in your world 

Filling up my lungs 
I'm six feet under, cast asunder 
Yet here we are 
Now I've just begun 
Your pity party can't start without me 
So here we are 

I've got a few tricks up my sleeve 
I've been practicing like you wouldn't even believe 
Isn't it nice to feel your own vice 
Fill your chest just like how you filled mine? 

Thought you'd lock yourself away 
'Cause there is no other way 
Pray that I would stay away 
No way, No way 

Take it easy and breathe 
Just make sure that you breathe 
Fill your lungs and just breathe 
F i l l y o u r l u n g s u p w i t h m e 

I'm your dark edgy past disgrace 
Said you're crushed by the pain 
but that's not the case, right? 
Pray no one digs up the dirt 
"He'll rest in peace" said the priest 
"But man, that had to hurt" 

Filling up my lungs 
I'm six feet under, cast asunder 
Yet here we are 
Now I've just begun 
Your pity party can't start without me 
So here we are 

I've got a few tricks up my sleeve 
I've been practicing like you wouldn't even believe 
Isn't it nice to feel your own vice 
Fill your chest just like how you filled mine? 

Filling up your lungs 
You're six feet under, cast asunder 
And here we are 
Now I've just begun 
Your pity party and sad sob story 
Won't get you far 

I've got a few tricks up my sleeve 
I've been practicing like you can't even believe 
Isn't it nice to feel your own vice 
Steal your life just like how you stole mine----/? 

Just like how you stole mine 
Just like how you filled mine

【DEX】 Breathe【Vocaloid Original by CircusP】

THIS TRACK IS NOT MINE
Song:Crusher-P & MystSaphyr

【UTAU Original】Breaking Point 【Kikyuune Aiko】

reupload with HOPEFULLY better audio quality
the old version had some weird sound in the backround

source: www.youtube.com/watch?v=zFjoHabGko4

Outer Science Ver. Kuraiinu (ENGLISH) アウターサイエンス

Art by Eleanor
https://twitter.com/tourniiquet?s=20

Video by elbo
https://twitter.com/elboart?s=20

Guitars and Lyrics by ginoplaysguitar
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCj3SrhbjlczYRYpuEd9pIwg

Story and Music by Steampianist

Lyrics:

i held the letter in my shaking hands 
the ones you touched when you ran past
me on the way to class
"we're late"
you said
"come run with me"

but crumpled up and thrown away
i tore apart my heart today
just ripped to shreds, you saw me then
"its late"
you said
"come walk with me"

moonlight falls upon my windowsill
i watch the world go by
in time
can you save me from my dreams?

from 
whispers of
the stars aligned
it rises up
and breaks the tide

to prophecies
and valentines
to waking up
in the end times


my god its crushing me
tangled round my body like countless chains
black seas split by twisted spires
holding my eyes open, i'm so tired

all my nightmares
they never change but
i'll think of you tonight


i snap awake, another day
another sleepless night to face alone
without you by my side
why cant you just
why cant you just be mine

but once again
we're only friends
not even friends, it's just pretend
but in my head's not good enough
today, i thought
i'll make you mine

sunlight falls upon your perfect smile
i saw you from afar
who's she?
why's your hand on her cheek?


you broke my heart
with a secret kiss
my pillows stained
with teardrops

the voices come
but louder now
with words i do not remember

my god it's crushing me
tangled round my body like countless chains
black seas split by twisted spires
holding my eyes open i'm so tired

and all my nightmares they never change but
i'm wide awake tonight

suddenly
the routine breaks
the whispers come
and fade away

two silhouettes
their shadows tall
you and i
together after all

my god its you and I
dancing on the air like new years flames
under sickly green moonlight
i can see us smiling in the sky

my god i now believe
the coming of the old one sets me free
black seas split by ryleh spires
voices entwined together like a choir

all my nightmares they never change but
i'll think of you tonight

Unrequited Love And He Who Sleeps Beneath

This is part 2 of the Propaganda! series. An mv for it should be up next week. 

Available on bandcamp:  https://ccrusherr.bandcamp.com/track/repentance

Mixing/Mastering: GHPZ
Vocal tuning: chsm 

Lyrics:
CHORUS:

I had a dream 
Where I was you and you were me
And I was running, 
Til the ground unwound, 
and then I couldn't see

I fell in deeper and you,
You fell in deeper and I,
I fell in deeper and you,
You fell in deeper and I,

I had a dream
Where I was you and you were me
But I'd forgotten exactly who I used to be

I fell in deeper and you,
You fell in deeper and I,
I fell in deeper and you,
You fell in deeper and I-

VERSE 1: 

Ever since I was young, back when I still believed in destiny,
I was a cog in the machine the regime needed me to be,

To be [REDACTED] To be [REDACTED]

The way it feels to get the same reused excuse, and then
a million new excuses to excuse their last excuses

Oh it's getting real bad,
It's too dangerous to react,
How we live just isn't fair,
But if you're smart, then you'd be scared

When I was introduced to the genuine truth,
I knew what I was born to do
I'd lay down my life, if it means doing right by
the ones who lost the good fight!

PRECHORUS:

And when you ran,
And when you ran, God, it hurt,
but I'll focus on my work
It's still such a shame  
you'll miss out on all the change

And before you write your foreword
Yes, you may have moved me forward,
But I won't run away, I won't be afraid,
so why...did I....  

CHORUS:

I had a dream 
Where I was you and you were me
And I was running, 
Til the ground unwound and then I couldn't see

I fell in deeper and you,
You fell in deeper and I,
I fell in deeper and you,
You fell in deeper and I,

I had a dream
Where I was you and you were me
But I'd forgotten exactly who I used to be

I fell in deeper and you,
You fell in deeper and I,
I fell in deeper and you,
You fell in deeper and I-

VERSE 2:
 
If you can keep a secret, I guess I'll let you in, 
I'm planning something so big it's gonna change everything
And now we're getting closer, and I can almost reach
a world I thought only existed in my wildest dreams

We can rebuild our nation, right from the very start
and make it better after we're done tearing it apart
And if you close your eyes, and try to picture it,
we could be living lives completely different

BRIDGE:

When you went missing, I did nothing
I can't forgive myself, I'm so ashamed
I will engage in my repentance as a form of penance
and I will never, EVER make the same mistake

I cried your name so loud
and caught the eyes of the crowd, 
And just like that,
the town must have snapped,
and everyone lost their heads, 
And that was the end! 
 
CHORUS:

I had a dream 
Where I was you and you were me
And I was running, 
Til the ground unwound and then I couldn't see

I fell in deeper and you,
You fell in deeper and I,
I fell in deeper and you,
You fell in deeper and I,

I had a dream
Where I was you and you were me
And I've forgotten exactly who I used to be

and now I'm falling deeper
and now I'm falling deeper
and now I'm falling deeper
and now I'm falling deeper

Repentance! (ft. Megurine Luka)

Music producer, illustrator and air breather
mgmt@ccrusherr.com (business only)

Crusher-P - Out Of Sight Out Of Mind

Crusher-P

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