{part 1}
yeah we threw it all away at a record pace
years of building broken down in just a couple days
i’m zoning out and going numb up in the face
crying
begging me to change
but you know it goes both ways
losing everything is something i can’t take
smoking cookie tryna ease some of the pain
looking for an appetite i ain’t eaten in days
i’m fighting with my brain
you can see it in my face

codependent
self aware but i still hate myself til it’s embedded 
i sit alone i’m really cold
cause i don’t know where i should go
and it’s getting old

still i never hate you
if you need i’m here
the bond with someone else i don’t think it could compare
but i don’t think i can save you
i’m broken
it’s not fair
i could make you feel safe
running fingers through your hair
i know the way it feels to feel like nobody cares
and every time i think about it i feel guilty like it’s only me
i like to facetime when i fall asleep
so i know that you’re alive when you’re not next to me

i sit alone i’m really cold
cause i don’t know where i should go
and it’s getting old
leave a message at the tone
cause i’m all alone
soon as i walk out that door
i'm never coming home

{interlude}
you say that you hate me 
but i know you're lying
said you don't need me
but i see you crying
it happened so fast
throwing it all away
now that i've left
you don't know what to say

{part 2}
second chances aren’t the same when you bend the meaning
every chance another scar that formed with no bleeding
tensions always getting higher we both getting heated
if you love me better tell me cause i fucking need it
we hurt each other saw it coming from the start
i wish that it was easy but it’s really fucking hard
i feel your energy beside me when i’m looking at the stars
just two people living equal with another broken heart

codependent
self aware but i still hate myself til it’s embedded 
i sit alone i’m really cold
cause i don’t know where i should go
and it’s getting old

still i never hate you
if you need i’m here
the bond with someone else i don’t think it could compare
but i don’t think i can save you
i’m broken
it’s not fair
i could make you feel safe
running fingers through your hair
i know the way it feels to feel like nobody cares
and every time i think about it i feel guilty like it’s only me
i like to facetime when i fall asleep
so i know that you’re alive when you’re not next to me

i sit alone i’m really cold
cause i don’t know where i should go
and it’s getting old
leave a message at the tone
cause i’m all alone
soon as i walk out that door
i'm never coming home

nch

produced by 4lexf https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCiYzQlIUDoklHxtRC2Q6_OQ

written, performed, engineered by cavasoul

nch (prod. 4lexf)

Today, I realized I've been letting myself down.

Jan 17 (Excuses)

written by Lxst Boy, Cavasoul, and soku
produced by Riddiman and oldboyy
mixed and mastered by Lxst Boy
cover art by futoh
out on all platforms

-lyrics-
(Hook: Lxst Boy)
finish up my homework then I write another song
why does everybody hate me I swear that I did nothing wrong
got like 20 messages everytime I check my phone
but i will never answer them, I hate this feeling its getting old

(Verse 1: Lxst Boy)
try to tell me that im not ok
but cant you see the smile thats plastered on my face
like come over sometime and find me dead at my place
im sipping on this coffee praying that this pain would go away
the solitude is nice but I'm sick of being alone
walked a million miles on a path they call the lonely road
pondering my consciences, the deepest part of my soul
but hey im just a kid so what do i really know

(Hook)

(Verse 2: Cavasoul)
i hate this feeling, feeling horrible
is getting old
im losing meaning, meaning everything is seeming horrible
I'm conceited, seated at a table undesirable
I know that she could ruin me because shes so adorable
I fall asleep and I see images of violence
I see a side of me incite a riot
swear my head is never quiet
I'm craving death, it tries to overtake my fear of dying
I'll just go to bed so hopefully I can stop fucking crying
i hate this feeling that I feel whenever I open up my eyes
and now my lungs have started hurting as result from getting high
it gets tiring when you always just feel like you could die
now I'm breaking down again, just for today is the third time

(Hook)

(Verse 3: soku)
it's getting old, I'm growing old and I don't know if i could stay
every time you look my way I just turn and look away
I don't know if I could stay in this place
with this feeling that I hate and it won't go away yeah
yeah my voice is sounding stupid and my grades are going down
everybody else around hating me I feel the frown
on my face yeah I'm a waste yeah
telling everyone I might just take a break yeah
I finish up my homework then I go and cry alone
everybody hating me  and so I walk the lonely road
got like 20 messages every time i check my phone 
but that's not quite reality I hate this feeling it's getting old

(Hook)

@cavasoul
@soku_music
@prodriddiman

S T R E A M

i hate this feeling w/ cavasoul & soku (riddiman x oldboyy)

CLICK CLACK BLAOW

produced by jhove
mixed and mastered by Lxst Boy

-lyrics-
maybe when we're older
i'll finally get it right
lay your head on my shoulder
as we drive into the night
i dont wanna be here if im not with you
(be here if im not with you)
maybe when we're older
i'll finally tie the knot
im so immature 
but i ponder it a lot
i just wanna spend my life with you
(spend my life with you)

yeah i know im making excuses
im on the brink boutta lose it
when you are feeling by yourself
i just sit and make music
yeah it's messed up i know it
i care and wanna show it
but it's kinda difficult
because i know you're also broken
i can change it, trust me
i know it's hard to love me
there's a lot that i dont talk about
i shrug it off, its funny
how i know you feel the same
and im the one to blame
maybe someday i'll grow up
but for now i'll stay the same yeah

i dont deserve you
(i dont deserve you)
i know i have issues
(i know i have issues)

yeah but you helping me through them
healing my cuts and my bruises
what you been doing is working
and my conditions improving
oh take me back tonight
i cant explain whats inside
and now im feeling the vibe
and now im feeling alright
(and now im feeling the vibe
and now im feeling alright)

maybe when we're older
i'll finally get it right
lay your head on my shoulder
as we drive into the night
i dont wanna be here if im not with you
(be here if im not with you)
maybe when we're older
i'll finally tie the knot
im so immature 
but i ponder it a lot
i just wanna spend my life with you
(spend my life with you)
x2

when we’re older (jhove)

i was never the same

prod: michael harrison, aidan han, and max vossberg
master: @onlyfriendyeah

you said my eyes looked pretty
and wiped the tears from my face 
you told me that you're leaving
but it'll all be okay
and i was never the same
you didn't have to go 
why'd you leave me alone

i bet you're sick of playing innocent
aren't you?
you were happy tearing ligaments
weren't you?
i was always the participant 
for you to see just how bad it gets

and really baby you're a monster
and when i saw you by the water
i should've known i was a goner
but i took everything you offered

and really baby you're a monster
i was in love with that

you were on me fucking every night
sweating through the signs
you look so good in white
we do this every time
so baby let me go
i'll see you after i die
the last light
will fucking let me know 
i wasted my whole life

and really baby you're a monster
and when i saw you by the water
i should've known i was a goner
but i took everything you offered

you were on me fucking every night
sweating through the signs 
you look so good in white
we do this every time
let me go
i'll see you after i die 
the last light 
will fucking let me know 
i wasted my whole life

A little too late (reimagined) demo

Thrxttle

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