The start of good days reminders of grief
Starting to have fun escaping anxiety
Lonely ghost hectic ride spiral flows deep inside
Forcing thoughts can’t unwind
finding half breaths of relief 
moments in time
Day dreamer smoke screen
dark clouds obstruct the view
Staring at the ceiling 
conjuring feelings
trying not to bleed out the sheets are new
Break my knees down to the floor
can’t fucking beg for this anymore
Flip the switch next move is on
little broken creature found the trapdoor
There’s a place that exists
happy day walkers miss
Obvious portal eyes wide open
gleam through the light cold mist
fingers dug deep in the shallow dirt
crawling out of the old abyss
Get used to pain there will be more
can’t completely heal a heart so calloused
Scrub off the dirt peel back old skin
it’s okay to be ugly it all grows back in
Outer layer dark piece of art
a little more fragile a few extra scars
Gray hairs grow faulty vision
imposed by bad habits that never sleep in
Counting down hours to make it through the day
Fucked up from the start always restarting pace
Quiet creator by nature remember what you are
other side of the fence haven’t traveled far
Still a home for gentle chaos that turns into art
Don’t let the darkness escape
keep it close put it to use
Endless space to create
just keep a solid muse
No more wasted potential
little creature the mind’s influential
Stay high don’t forget the scene
remember you can transform anxiety
just keep from being foolish
Despite depictions of love
they’ll make you think it’s useless

trapdoor flow (prod. Danny Beats)

helloooo prod me hope u like :)

lyrics:
everybody wanna claim that they know but they don't
so i just pay no mind
everybody wanna say they're in love
but they don't have a clue what that's like
i'm just tryna find a way i can cope
take the blade
take the rope
take the dive
everybody wanna say they're alone 
til they are and they know what my life's like

i look in the mirror only feeling i get is disgust
i don't think i'll ever be somebody anyone can trust
i don't think i'll ever find somebody i can love
take another piece of me
i know you're eating me alive
have some decency
god dammit
this isn't how i planned it
tell me something new
tell me i'm being dramatic
i dare you

maybe i
was in the wrong the other time
but i can't decide
if i should go on with my life
or if i should mourn love lost
but i cannot bear that cost
guess that i am scared to fall in love another time
but with you maybe i will have to try
i'm aware that i am a victim of my pride
but with you i feel like i'll never die

i look in the mirror only feeling i get is disgust
i don't think i'll ever be somebody anyone can trust
i don't think i'll ever find somebody i can love
take another piece of me
i know you're eating me alive
have some decency
god dammit
this isn't how i planned it
tell me something new
tell me i'm being dramatic
i dare you

somebody, anybody

@killedmyself

20 years have caught up wit me n they fucked up my mental
she tellin' me she in love wit me but she ain't ever do no sentimental
amphetamines have caused cavities to just rot out in my dental
all my life i felt worthless can somebody tell me what i'm meant for?

all my life i felt worthless
i took my heart and i purged it
never comin up to the surface

thought that you would be worth it
i thought that you was perfect
tell me what'd i do to deserve this?

take me back,
take me back to the real world
take me back,
take me back to when i couldn't feel

rip my heart straight from my ribcage
i've been led astray from the good place
i've ran out of luck where did my good days go
the place in which i reside no longer feels like home

20 years have caught up wit me n jus fucked up my mental
tellin' me she in love wit me but she ain't ever do no sentimental

20 years have caught up wit me n they fucked up my mental
she tellin' me she in love wit me but she ain't ever do no sentimental
amphetamines have caused cavities to just rot out in my dental
all my life i felt worthless can somebody tell me what i'm meant for?

real world

real world (killedmyself)

Check out the Producer:

Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/sh4dowfigure
Airbit: https://neverforever.infinity.airbit.com
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@prodneverforever
Insta: https://www.instagram.com/prodneverforever/

Lyrics
=========
Jealousy of all it breaks me down
Who do you call when I'm not around
Trapped in these walls and can't get out

This time I'll make it right yeah
No lie I've been workin on my own shit
Two times I fucked up and I missed
So you don't gotta hear a word when I say this but
This time I'll make it right yeah
I would watch it all burn if it makes you smile
And while I wash my old life
You could break my heart if it's one last night
I don't care who we are on the outside
These scars dig deep on the inside
Eating me away and I can't fight
So I wrote you this song
I hope you don't mind

If you do then I'll stay back
I lie awake and I laugh
'Cause every moment we had
Was the best I ever had
And if I do it all and get my bag
Would you see me or would you pass
Would you take me for one last dance
Would you ask me to hold your hand
These nights I try and I can't
Through my phone I see what you have
One face that I can't match
Is he the one is he your new man

Will he make it right yeah
Won't lie I'm still on my old shit
Three times I fucked up now I quit
You don't wanna hear a word when I say this

This Time

This Time [Prod. Neverforever]

the great divide (unreleased) - noah kahan

I took my synthesizer on a date picnic in the park for a romantic sunset together. We drank wine together and well deeper in love. Her name is synthia and she is my first love. We starting making music together when i was 17 years old and I've been in love ever since.

Tracklist:
Daedelus	Stampede Me 
Onhell	another hawii melodic beat uzi on it
Ozi	start again final
Onhell	Lil Peep - We Think Too Much (ONHELL Remix Onhell Won't Always Be
CharlestheFirst 	what u know
Seyaa and Matt	MATAS RAINSTICK (PMASTER)
Shlohmo	The Way U Do
torcha	THE DAYS NOTION REMIX - bku mix v1
frank ocean	White Ferrari
Shlohmo	The End
drake	06 Marvins Room _ Buried Alive (Interlude) (Kendrick Lamar)
Onhell	SZA- Love Galore (ON HELL Remix) Carbonated
Mount Kimbie	06 Carbonated
Posij Ft. Liza Dries	Phantoms [OKAY007]
120BPM - GOOD LIES V1 FLIP	
Norman	SUN
Onhell	drivng me crazy ensenada beat reese here for charles 2
Esseks	Catch Me v2 W1P
Onhell	i dont even know beat
Ambre	One Call Away (Solotrip Flip)
lea sen	luv him (about you)(oakk remix)v3
Rich Boy	Throw Some D's (ON HELL Remix) PASSENGER PRINCE 2
PASSENGER PRINCE 2	
moore kismet	TASTE (with Take A Daytrip & KUCKA) VS CharlestheFirst 
CharlestheFirs	Hair in the Wind
Onhell	fucking around with meldoies
Brothel x KIN v1.3	Brothel x KIN v1.3
Earl Sweatshirt HOT SOURCE LORDEL 	Making the Band (Danity Kane) AMIGOCHINAH v4 MIX 1
HOT SOURCE	AMIGOCHINAH v4 MIX 1 
LORDEL	MISS YOU
Onhell	morning melody in hawaii elliot smith 
Lil Uzi Vert	Sauce It Up
Radiohead	Weird Fishes/Arpeggi
drake	Rich Baby Daddy (ft. Sexyy Red & SZA)
floating points	 Falaise
lil baby	Money Forever
king krule	Czech One
radiohead 	Reckoner
elliot smith	Angeles
lorn	     acid rain

onhell's romantic valentines day mix 2025

2nd Track on the road to 400! this is a snippet! full version coming in one week!

Little Ocean - Jump snippet

Little Ocean - Oh no? Official Preview

CHECK OUT MY NEW SONG -
https://soundcloud.com/thatkidzei/on-my-own-ft-joordy-prod-hyu-x-zei-1

NOW ON SPOTIFY - https://open.spotify.com/album/5SqTD75v5eQ9QlWsyH6YkI?si=RuuH8w4qQaur3Gs9zGePoA

NOW ON ITUNES - https://music.apple.com/us/album/oceans-of-liquor-single/1478090185

NOW ON YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7yB_bZ7b998

self produced.

grew up on a beach, this song is about lost love.

Verse 1 - 

Yeah my Home been by the ocean 
Spend my whole life floating 
And this girl didn’t even notice 
Left my heart right in the open 
Fell in love but ended broken 
I thought that I was chosen 
Now you got me choking 
How could this be spoken 
I’ve resulted just to smoking 
All my pain away 
Same today as yesterday yeah as yesterday
Blunt strong
Thc im fucked 
Grip red solo cup
Liquor mixed in blood 
I can’t live I’m done 

Chorus -

yeah i think im fucking done
yeah yeah yeah
all these bitches so fucked up
yeah yeah yeah
yeah they ripped my heart right out my chest
i cant even think about the rest
on my brain i need some rest
yeah yeah yeah

Verse 2 -

Yeah bitches acting too wild 
I can’t fuck around for too long 
It just feels so wrong 
Yeah it feels so wrong 
Yeah my drinks to strong 
I think that I’ve been gone
For a little too long 
How am I gonna get home
Yeah my Home been by the ocean 
Spend my whole life floating 
And this girl didn’t even notice 
Left my heart right in the open 
Fell in love but ended broken 
I thought I was chosen 
Now you got me choking 
How could this be spoken

Repeat Chorus...

Special thanks to @OMGAurakami for mixing it all for me <3

Oceans of Liquor

CHECK OUT MY NEW SONG -
https://soundcloud.com/thatkidzei/on-my-own-ft-joordy-prod-hyu-x-zei-1

do you love me?

ft. @user-321595401

trapdoor flow (prod. Danny Beats)

darkcurls