not my best songwriting ngl, I kinda freestyled this song rly quickly haha

track 2 off my upcoming LP, BYSTANDER
self produced
art by @ejcarrmusic
mastered by david kowalski
thank you <3

lyrics:
i feel it all just start to ache
i feel it all just start to ache
i feel it all just start to ache
i feel it all just start to
i feel it all just start to ache
i feel it all just start to ache
i feel it all just start to ache
i feel it all just start to

i sent a search team out to find u
they said u were dead
i crawled for miles cuz i couldn’t
believe what they said
as i was digging, i woke up
in a visceral sweat
i read your text again but
i won’t be answering it

say what you need i might
pay for the dream i write
(everything, anything)
no one could see quite right
i paralyzed my life
(find you in everything)
i found more ways to hurt myself
my own words acting as a hell
you say it doesn’t have a meaning
i don’t think you know me that well

i feel it all just start to ache
i feel it all just start to ache
i feel it all just start to ache
i feel it all just start to
i feel it all just start to ache
i feel it all just start to ache
i feel it all just start to ache
i feel it all just start to

ACHE

lyrics

what if the plans we made fall thru 
what is my life outside of u
im picking skin off from under my suit
its imperative now that i hold onto u
i swear
none of this shit seems fair
none of this shit is there
when im ripping out my hair
out all my hair

break me to bits and i promise ill love you
and trust u
i dont know why u love me
im ugly
im stupid
i cant even do this right
im thru this plight
i shut the blinds
i sob
its nothing like i want
i could be wrong
i could be right
it didnt matter anyways
when u look me in my face
i know u see a waste of space
and im sorry
and im sorry

if i dont hear from u tomorrow i hope that ur well
i apologize that i cant carry what u felt
im sure it hurts
but i cant help u out

slow my head
so i stop overthinking
i need it bad
and my circle is shrinking 
again
im the worst that u met
im the worst that i know
so take me out 

break me to bits and i promise ill love you
and trust u
i dont know why u love me
im ugly
im stupid
i cant even do this right
im thru this plight
i shut the blinds
i sob
its nothing like i want
i could be wrong
i could be right
it didnt matter anyways
when u look me in my face
i know u see a waste of space
and im sorry
and im sorry

waste of space

lyrics 

deep in the woods (in the woods)
i see the faces i took, the different ways that they were shook
to live is so much harder than it looks
the world’s crumbling top-down
it’s hard to reverse when hearts are on lockdown
hard like a rock, cold, cold like it’s frostbite
dark in the night, less dark in the nightlight
mist came forth like a bright light
and what appeared was unknown life
i’ve been living with this hate so much longer than i should
cold, dark, hard to escape, this deep inside the woods
these messages i pray aren’t heard or understood
i wonder if the face that put me here is even scared to look
pages of the book, not letting a thing off the hook
i take each word so fucking personally, everything you’ve got, you took
skin covered in soot, the ashes recooked
not a trace of what is meant to be is here, wasn’t left put
deep in the woods, no
you’ll find what you’re looking for
too deep in the woods
and you won’t be able to leave no matter how hard you try
every day a loss
passing up my feelings from the moment for a future that ain’t promised
i got my mindset set on chronic
if i wasn’t before, now i’m on it
you’ve got side quests for vision
mine’s so blurry, but still, i want it
i don’t have a fucking option
since i could, yeah, i’ve been running
the awareness got me jogging
you’d think that i’m not fronting, uh
but trust me, i ain’t slowing down
i’m just saving myself for when the unknown hits town
deep in the woods (in the woods)
i see the faces i took, the different ways that they were shook
to live is so much harder than it looks
the world’s crumbling top-down
it’s hard to reverse when hearts are on lockdown
hard like a rock, cold, cold like it’s frostbite
dark in the night, less dark in the nightlight
mist came forth like a bright light
and what appeared was unknown life

heartwood

heartwood (flesh) [bonus tracks from album on spotify]

lyrics


under the sea
im growing barnacles out of my feet
ocean turns red from how much i bleed
sea on my skin is turning green
pushed over the deck and i sank
i wouldve rather had walked the plank
all of these faces are showing up blank
on this id rather feel some pain
so i know im alive

the creatures had taken both of my eyes
flakes of my skin were drawn by the tide
im unaware of the last i cried
cant even tell if i live or i died
but ill still survive
and still i fight
for nothing

hands tied by
cables i
wrapped up in
when under
so im trapped here
under wraps dear
its intentional 
i swear
they had known 

im tryna find a way out on my own
the coral that surrounds me has slowly become my home
fish come by just picking at my bones
atlantic waters guide me and my soul out from the cold

under the sea
im growing barnacles out of my feet
ocean turns red from how much i bleed
sea on my skin is turning green
pushed over the deck and i sank
i wouldve rather had walked the plank
all of these faces are showing up blank
on this id rather feel some pain
so i know im alive

Barnacles (p. hollowprpl)

forever, yours. w/ vails (king theta)

thanks to my dad for cover art again


@user-642636378

you don’t wanna talk, but it’s not up for discussion
clean me out your thoughts
seems you really wanna rush it
breaking it apart
while i’m here thinking i caught it
should’ve seen it from the start
i only pictured what i wanted

holding on
keep up you’re changing like the seasons
next minute you’ll be gone
and the winter air will breeze in
call it off
why help when you could watch me bleeding
i reminisce the days
the golden lights were gleaming

i could really use a day off
to clear my mind, collect my dark thoughts
turn out the lights
to hide all my wrongs
keep me alive
let bygones become bygones

ima shell of myself and that kid i was
2012 slowly realised they’re not showing up
i dunno where to go can you show me love
i dunno where to go ima no one

they’re so quick to point and judge
got me staring in my mirror
cuz i hate what iv become
must be something in my water
cuz im puking out my guts
girl you shouldn’t even bother, cuz i know i'm not enough

she won’t say it to my face
she won’t ever come around
unless i’m laying in my grave
soul is heavy she can’t pull me to the top
say a sorry to my mom
feel it leaking out my jaw

bygones (ft. halfhearted) [prodsecre x threemvsk]

It's not fair that you said you cared;
you had neglect but the love was there;

you don't care ; which it could be worst..
try to numb my pain, but it never works.

I could say the truth; but you know it hurts
I can feel the Pain ; it's been getting worst.

Maybe I could do without you,
How to live this life without you,
I can't love a thing without you,
How to live this life without you..

Growing Older

uh hello again

Lyrics

We should talk when it’s over
I just can’t in this headspace
I cover up mistakes
To keep out of harm's way
I can’t with the judgement
Is there ever a good day?

How is everything okay?
Cause I’m fucking broken
My anxiety’s got me
It’s hands on my neck
It’s forcing words that I’m choking
But I guess I should say it
And I guess you should know it
Oh well
What's it like dragging me to hell?
I hope someday I’ll break my spell

Nothing hurts me anymore
I barely recognize me
The eyes that reflect
I don’t ever feel remind me of me

Hope my soul is with the trees
And has finally found peace
Pack a bowl full of leaves
Just to rip it til I green

Fuck the party, make a scene
Never sober, never clean
Honestly don’t even care
To get on track cause nothing seems

Any more than make believe
Anymore than just a dream
Soon I’ll wake up
And I’ll take up
My own burden in my wings

uncanny valley (prod. wraithontheporch)

lyrics

i’m moving on 
special louis, special prada got me gone 

she loves me not, she loves 
i’m pretty fucked

no bad energy inside this song
i hope you hear this and you live a life that’s long

lift me up it’s getting late now and it’s cold 
you got to watch how it pans out in the fall
just let me love you baby i can take the fall
i got your name wrapped around my tongue just like you’re in my arms 

it’s calm being right beside me
but don’t throw away my values girl i’m not taking it likely
do you think this a game?
playing games
cut you up like tron
if it pans out that way for now i’m geeked

i told you this but we’re all in the abyss 
you keep your sixth girl you’re just taking the piss
i got a list now, you wanna become a wish?
i’m on a rocket ship right now we’re going every world

everywhere coming in hot
moving out quick like i ain’t got a spot
gas relies on loving girl can you provide or what
guess i’ll make a toast for the people that love me and helped me get this far

hey i’m lifting up the states
like who the fuck is you when talking ‘bout mistakes
yeah i made a few
but i couldn’t break

you live you learn you lose
now i’m here to make after everything i’d take

lose, lose
you can’t help it 
ohhh, we move
ohhh, you keep can’t help it 
i can’t hold it
you keep catching, falling out and i’ma melt it

tron

"one day we gon be okay baby just stay"
i can hear just how you told me like its yesterday
ill be sure to send my love from the cosmos
i guess lately its just been harder hitting high notes
i guess lately its just been easier to let my mind go
i guess lately im feeling bad bout dragging you along

cuz i dont want to see you at the bottom
and baby you can tell me if its too much
i know i can be a lot so you just say som
and i dont like myself if we need something to agree on
im up making songs fell asleep with my jeans on
i can tell you love me from the way you take my jeans off
id love if youd stick with me ill look better when i wean off
the same songs just in different styles
you wonder when i been this happy girl its been a while

but i cant make you smile
havent seen those pearly whites girl whats got you down
we can live another life if we leave this town
one day i can make it right one day youll be proud
in the passenger seat found my reason in the stars
i got holes in my jeans you got anger in your heart
its not as easy as it seems so i try to play my part
control alt then you deleted me im back here at the start
i got bad lungs one more cigarette
another sad song posted on the internet
i guess its not fun tell myself im not upset
when the days done find a place to lay my head
from the day we met swore to be my best
we both know the fire started when you call my friends
now im only feeling sorry for the shit i said
one day imma be a star im just not shining yet

and baby you can tell me if its too much
i know i can be a lot so you just say som
and i dont like myself if we need something to agree on
im up making songs fell asleep with my jeans on
i can tell you love me from the way you take my jeans off
id love if youd stick with me ill look better when i wean off
the same songs just in different styles
you wonder when i been this happy girl its been a while

denim w/ halfhearted (p. under the maple tree)

I'm fine.
1. suicide note
2. dead man walking
3. you probably don't think about me anymore.

you probably don't think about me anymore [neverforever]

Boston | IG: @deadbroke
Songwriter + Producer, and Guitarist : )
perceive the music as you will; create a story.

[merch] https://deadbrokeapparel.creator-spring.com/

Growing Older

dead broke

Recent comments

DarkBlu

dead broke

Fimelia Kandor

Related tracks