My Life 😓🫂 Felt every Fck'ing word. 😥

co produced w @speedlmt

lyric

i don't wanna die but i don't wanna try
when your not here w me i get a teary eye
my dreams are lucid, they gonna get you 
how can i prove it, that your the issue 

i got these tissues, oh fuck i miss u
will you be here soon so i can kiss u
i can't stop shaking im forever breaking
i know you like that, its never changing::(

decomposing in the mirror posing 
spooky black my father:3 stop diagnosing 
why do i bother, im controlling, im the victim. forever rolling;

a sob sandwich its kinda adequate
let me swallow it, these my bandages
songs just foru cos i said it is !
of grams not sedatives, dont know what day it is:(
pop another sedative?

i got these tissues, oh fuck i miss u
will you be here soon so i can kiss u
i can't stop shaking im forever breaking
i know you like that, its never changing::(

I DON'T WANNA DIE BUT I DON'T WANNA TRY
WHEN YOUR NOT HERE W ME I GET A TEARY EYE
MY DREAMS ARE LUCID, THEY GONNA GET YOU 
HOW CAN I PROVE IT, THAT YOUR THE ISSUE 
I GOT THESE TISSUES, OH FUCK I MISS U
WILL YOU BE HERE SOON SO I CAN KISS U
I CAN'T STOP SHAKING IM FOREVER BREAKING
I KNOW YOU LIKE THAT, ITS NEVER CHANGING

pine

produced by jpjp
vocals + lyrics by heylog & i'm geist

lyrics:
your caught around my throat
i don't think you wanna know what i know
you remember we were close
now i don't call you a bro anymore
watch out i might contain hostility
you say u know but you don't know me
i guess i'm used to it
people that i know always abusing it

i'd kill the old me
a lot has changed so i'd do it in a heart beat
through the veins, through my skin
subtle scarring
what was left in the past
know it hardly
i had a job and i failed to kill the old me
a lot has changed so i'd do it in a heart beat
through the veins, through my skin
subtle scarring
what was left in the past
know it hardly
i had a job and i failed to kill the old me

so long, won’t accept my defeat
i know i’m running out of time
but i can’t even breathe

lost cause, threw me into the sea
it’s not what i wanted to be
they prayed i drowned in the deep

but i’m holding on
there’s so much left inside of my head that i’m fighting for
what went wrong?
cause i seem to have lost myself amongst the dying stars

what went wrong?
cause i seem to have lost myself amongst the dying stars
what went wrong?
i seem to have lost myself amongst the dying stars

i'd kill the old me
a lot has changed so i'd do it in a heart beat
through the veins, through my skin
subtle scarring
what was left in the past
know it hardly
i had a job and i failed to kill the old me
a lot has changed so i'd do it in a heart beat
through the veins, through my skin
subtle scarring
what was left in the past
know it hardly
i had a job and i failed to kill the old me

through my veins, through my skin

SPOTIFY

heylog & i'm geist - through the veins, through my skin (jpjp)

produced by sk8miles
completely non profit
lyrics:

shawty hit me with that vac seal
no gorilla grip
she go on to talk dick sand 
and how im pussy whipped 
glad u can agree that u and i
are a perfect fit 
if we talk about the premise, 
u and i, i guess we're caving in 

caving in 
seems that all i do is fuel some version of the pain im in
glad u getting me n what i've learnt from eating pavement
said the monster looking back on everything he did
i need my medicine 

my feet lost the ground 
i am still not found
I'ma hack at this ounce
blow smoke down and make clouds 
my feet lost the ground
i am still not found
I'ma hack at this ounce 
blow smoke down and make clouds 

so we dress up
and we pub crawl
eatin on her ___
'til i get lockjaw
u gotta love me for the way i am
swear the more the that she could hurt me;
only make me more attached 
blowing smoke into a fan
while she's sleeping in my bed around like 2am
i just crack my beer n touch the cieling crush n toss the can 
lucky im all out of barz cus knowing me id take the chance bro

my bad, love u
that's a lot of vodka for someone 5 foot
hard world. pull thru.
no one gives a fuck and that's a hard truth
but you make me feel alright
better at least than most nights 
it's complex the state of my mind
but she just says to shut up 
and get the knife
 

good point, but i have a knife (sk8miles)

I hope u love it, enjoy <3

prod. me
https://soundcloud.com/nihil2free on guitar
collab with https://soundcloud.com/bitekivibes
shoutout to both of them for real


lyrics:
i've been trying to fight off this gravity
can't have shit in this life its fucking comedy
seems to be i worked up on my honestly 
were still stressed, nothings left, somethings gotta be up
tell me that you don't give a fuck
i said, "okay see you in bit" 
crushed my hand with a mallet
ditch all my attachments and bring the fucking damage

keeping me up on a late night 
in deep, no sleep in my damn eyes 
you said you missed me i said, "damn right"
can't rest i'm stressed till the daylight

i could use a little bit of closure
fucking up my mental i've been distant and colder
they're so judgemental it sucks my composure
all i have left is what i should have told her

break me down to see myself
i've lost my mind
don't need your help.

now i get it
synthetic how they act around me tryna be my friends its pathetic.
i keep waking up to panic 
suppression locked in, i cant stop it.

gravity.deprived

spotify

[AMV]: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DNv4eGItpyg 
produced by @nate2timezz & i
thank you endlessly for listening.
more to come in time
🖤

they say, "you're not alone"
but i'm weighing myself down to the bone
i'm deprived of your voice, your expressions, your tones
they scream, "don't.. go"
but i guess you didn't listen
i hope that you just missed it

i'm losing my grip on reality
i need some help or just someone around me
not a physical family
the moment feelings all erupt
they can't handle your trust
guess i was too much of a burden from the cut
but don't let yourself go and doubt on me
the ocean is howling
that's my kind of outing
you don't know the hurt that it brings
can't focus, can't breathe
i love you, but you know what i think?

i'm way too detached
you don't got my back
been tryna distract
"that boy's such a drag"
i lay in my bed; think things never meant
her hand; never leant
where have you been, love

that girl made me feel like i didn't wanna suffer
validated all my reasons
and then continued to smother
cards all on the table
the table's brittle as fuck
cause you leave with no intentions of hurting me
that's enough-

if what you say is what you mean
then fall back onto me
i'll swallow up your misery
i don't care what it brings
i'll be your puppet with no strings
just show me that i have meaning
like a matter, or a purpose
just a reason that i'm breathing
i've been wishing on the stars since a kid
they're where my arms don't reach
but my eyes look past them
the scars make a pretty constellation
they connect all i see
but at the end of the day, they still look past it

you gotta hope it lasts
you're holding yourself back
if you're falling, your wings' cracked
you gotta snap em back
and when the sky becomes the ceiling,
i'll throw rocks to make it crash
oh, don't look back (2x)

through and through
every time i break down my own recluse
just because i thought they understood me too
from my point of view
they never do (2x)

they say, "you're not alone"
but i'm weighing myself down to the bone
i'm deprived of your voice, your expressions, your tones
you've never known
but i guess you didn't listen
i hope that you dismissed it.

everlast [prod. nate2timez x autumndropsdead]

prod. ocin
guitars: yhello

Come catch a feeling while we’re watching a lightning 
But nothing excites me, baby I try to hide it 
I think about you, let’s make love on the highway 
Can we get inside babe 
You know time won’t stop flying 

You know me I 
Could never stop 
I’ll do it or die 
Can’t lose you and cry 
The pain in our back 
It hurts 
Now we’re laughing it off 
Now we’re laughing it off, oh 
The pain in our back 
It hurts 
Now we’re laughing it off 
We keep laughing it off, ya 

Kill time when we're driving 
It's both of us finding 
A reason to separate 
Your past is behind me 
I don't open up 
Don't wanna be judged 
Don't wanna be looked at 
I blame my gut 

I love you and you know that 
Even if you don't love me back 
I pray at night to hope you're well 
And pray again for my own self 
If I had a wish and that would be to see you laugh 
Cause I guarantee that you'll receive a smile back 
Now we both sitting there just laughing it off 
I want you to know that you were all I got 

You know me I 
Could never stop 
I’ll do it or die 
Can’t lose you and cry 
The pain in our back 
It hurts 
Now we’re laughing it off 
Now we’re laughing it off, oh

laugh it off (ft. heylog)

prod hira

If I disappear 
nobody would know

I used to think i was important 
Buried in a cage I’m getting nauseous 
And the smell inside his ribs is getting potent
Leave you both together in a forest

Screaming out for help and no one noticed 

Then maybe you’d know how it feels 
I gave you the world that you’d steal 
So you can go fuck him instead 
I’ll cry till I know you’re dead

Disappear 
Nobody will know

So please don’t let it
Go to your head love 
I’ll be fighting after the war 
Do you not feel the regret from all the  blood that you’ve poured 
Psycho little bitch should be assigned to a ward 
Ruining yourself downing bleach on the floor

You don’t wanna talk to me 
You never even had to
I’d break another bone but
I just can’t seem to fight for you
But I’d die for you
Down another bottle and I’ll lay with you

Why you gotta be so far
Put another s into the side of my arm
You could never be more wrong
Tryna let it go but I had nothing to start 
Why u tryna prove me wrong
I’m such a lost cause bitch u did it again
Drowning and it’s all your fault 
Fingers getting cold wrapped my hand round her neck 

I used to think i was important 
Buried in a cage I’m getting nauseous 
And the smell inside his ribs is getting potent
Leave you both together in a forest

Screaming out for help and no one noticed 

Then maybe you’d know how it feels 
I gave you the world that you’d steal 
So you can go fuck him instead 
I’ll cry till I know you’re dead

after the war

bubbles /
depends, can you go fuck yourself

hira /
i can see a lot of shit coming out of you 
throwing hands until my face turns a darker blue
the evil in your eyes is pouring out of you
i still wonder why, im never mad at you

you could have some decency 
left me vacant while youre down on your knees
i should be more patient 
but its hard to be
when youre out fucking anybody that

breathes

is it too much to ask for your time
love my patience is walking the line
save me
its not like youd try
fell too close
breaking my spine

too close i feel like an option
i keep tryna run girl 
run into the forest
i could use some safety
are you tryna hold me?
stop shaking
eyes are getting blurry

i dont trust nobody
but i saw you as family
its getting too warm im struggling to breathe
its blatant im nothing to see

i can see a lot of shit coming out of you 
throwing hands until my face turns a darker blue
the evil in your eyes is pouring out of you
i still wonder why, im never mad at you

you could have some decency 
left me vacant while youre down on your knees
i should be more patient 
but its hard to be
when youre out fucking anybody that

breathes

breathe

produced by me

lyrics:
wanna be alone cause it's quiet
locked up in my room, no more fighting
plug both of my ears, hear no riot
put away my feelings, no more crying

no talk
thorns out
mask on
happy home

always feel ignored and nobody wanna take me
seriously for once, why you think I'm always faking
walk around my   room with no purpose, thoughts are pacing
wish I had the guts, cause the future fucking scares me

always feel ignored and nobody wanna take me
seriously for once, why you think I'm always faking
walk around my room with no purpose, thoughts are pacing
wish I had the guts, cause the future fucking scares me

don't go the way I went cause you'll end up with scars
I just want a piece of quiet, is it too much to ask?
rarely check up on my phone, cause it's filled with demands
I can't meet ur expectations, you been asking too much

please stop yelling, I've been trying
please stop pushing, please stop fighting
I dont wanna see you crying
I just wanna feel 
(at home)

home

produced by speedlmt

lyrics:
before i found u
i was going through hell
oh do you miss me
im still going through hell
i still cant even tell
what its like to be me
she doesent miss me
she doesent miss me


i vanish i go into hibernation
crucify me its isolation
no one will find me 
lost in the pine trees
walk right by me hallucinations
i vanish i go into hibernation
crucify me its isolation
no one will find me 
lost in the pine trees
walk right by me hallucinations

she my bandage
walking through the forest empty handed
blood on my screen
with dirt on my shoes
where have you been
i sorta miss you
well no defiently do 
im shaking in my room
i really hate this house
im shaking in my room
i need a way out
im shaking in my room
im shaking in my room
shaking in my room

i vanish i go into hibernation
crucify me its isolation
no one will find me 
lost in the pine trees
walk right by me hallucinations
i vanish i go into hibernation
crucify me its isolation
no one will find me 
lost in the pine trees
walk right by me hallucinations

isolation

hi :)
prod. me

lyrics:
say you wont forget me
i've been lost and empty
i don't need the sympathy i jus need a friend i can lean on

empty, lately i been empty
drugs been lookin so tempting, but ill hang on
hang on tight just for you

she wanna talk, but she heating up.. why you wanna talk when you need help?
i think i know a fake when i see one, and i think im gonna break if you be one
u can find me at my place barely breathin
i was always less needed
than them and i can see it
u can try and call it wont reach me

i dont really talk, but you kno that im like that
you know when it comes to me i dont fight back
read into everything you say, your words never lost with me

i know it gets so hard,
but life is separating us
so i wanna hear you
say you wont forget me
i've been lost and empty
i don't need the sympathy i jus need a friend i can lean on

i remember that look on your face, its so distrusted
i know, you didn't want this
but we found our love
right on pavement i found
u stomped ur feet on the ground
im sorry

home

Deadfish

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˚✧₊$EH<‘3

msly

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home

Deadfish

Recent comments

*♡*♡* Loyalty over Love 100 *♡*♡*

♡shai♡

˚✧₊$EH<‘3

msly

Related tracks

♡♡* Loyalty over Love 100 ♡♡*