Author, speaker, host of Let's Know Things.

You can hear a few episodes of my podcast here — to listen to the entire archive, subscribe at http://letsknowthings.com (or wherever you get your podcasts).

In AD 2101, a secret underground committee of funk all-stars was convened to discuss the ultimate fate of humanity. Unless peace could be established retroactively through time travel and heavy jamming, civilization would collapse within five years. The Biebocracy had taken over, flooding the airwaves with painfully contrived, flat “Top 40″ pop music and running true aficionados out of the world’s cities. Forced to live on the margins of society, the ancient traditions of true organic jazz, funk, reggae and hip-hop had been all but forgotten…until the fateful Meeting.

The Jam Council discovered through graphs that if the greatest band of all time could somehow be sent back in time to the early 21st century, the course of history could be permanently altered to create a brilliant future for the human race. Knowing they would need a solid foundation, these brave souls searched high and low for the perfect rhythm section. They found Jason Smith living in the wilderness, barefoot and unwashed, shedding Parker tunes with a pack of werewolves. At great risk they captured him and managed to domesticate him over a period of months, but one piece was still missing. They quickly filled this space with Greg Harris: a science experiment gone horribly right, genetically engineered for maximum groove and raised by pan-dimensional energy beings who manifested as a vintage 1978 Gretsch kit in our reality.

In his 1981 paper, “Bubblegarthian groove planes intersecting with unfunky sound fields created by post-apocalyptic governments”, Buddy Rich predicted the arrival of a great musical force when appropriate rhythm section conditions were met. This prediction was validated by the sudden appearance of Mike Dempsey at the first meeting of Jason and Greg. He arrived fully-formed from an alternate universe where everyone has prodigious skill on the Rhodes and immediately began to create a strong rhythmic platform with the melodious underpinnings of a truly crunchy jam, brah. Only one piece to the puzzle was missing, and the Funkfathers knew they would need to go far to find it.

Eventually, in the center of the sun, Brian Maag was created in a fusion reaction. The deep, resounding tones of his PRS rocked the galaxy when he was born, and again, at great risk to their own lives, our heroes retrieved him for the project they knew would restore the music of the human race to its former glory – and probably save everyone’s lives, as a fringe benefit. Once this lineup was completed, an infinite groove began to flow, and try as they might, the scientists were unable to stop it.

Far away on the surface of the uninhabited planet Grooveomat476-B, a puddle shaped like a set of agogos was forming the first self-replicating molecules – PNA (Percussojamose Nucleic Acid). Due to strange conditions along the probability axis, these self-replicating molecules evolved into only one organism over the course of 12 billion years: Scot Edwards and his percussion set, which is actually an organ of his own body controlled by telekinesis. On a nearby asteroid, a course collision with a passing alien spaceship mutated two cells into Zaid Matthews and Jamar Tyler. They spent years listening to the melodic beauty of the celestial bodies and teleported to Earth on the same day as Scot to finalize what they knew was their destiny.

The Jam Council knew that only one man was fit to wield this powerful force: Romano Gelsomino, the greatest sound engineer in the history of the entire universe. They were placed in his care, and Our Heroes stepped into a time capsule, evolving back in the year 2011 as the Pennsylvania band…

MAD MEN PA!

Named Jordan's Musical Ambassadress, Farah Siraj balances a career that spans the United States, Europe and the Middle East. Farah has performed at some of the world's most prestigious platforms, including the United Nations, Nobel Prize Hall, World Economic Forum, The John F. Kennedy Center, Lincoln Center, MTV and Coke Studio.
To this date, Farah has toured the Middle East, Europe, India, South America and the United States, spreading the message of peace through her music. In 2011 Farah internationally released her album entitled NOMAD. In NOMAD, Farah fuses her influences of middle eastern music, flamenco, jazz, bossa and pop, including more than 30 internationally acclaimed musicians from around the world. Farah was chosen as one of New York's “Summer Stars of Jazz” and named “the Norah Jones of the Middle East” by New York Time Out. In June 2014, Farah released her latest album, Dunya,meaning “world” in Arabic and Hindi. Farah currently leads an ethnically diverse quintet of Arabian Flamenco Jazz, with world-class musicians from the Middle East, Europe, the United States and South America. During her tour of India, Farah shared the stage with India's most renowned composer, A.R. Rahman, performing Zariya live on MTV. The song hit #1 in the music charts in India and #3 in the Middle East.
As a humanitarian, Farah focuses on raising awareness about the consequences of war and violence, and advocates for women's rights, refugee rights and animal rights. In recognition of her humanitarian efforts, Farah was invited to perform at the United Nations Humanitarian Awards, and her music was played before the United Nations Security Council before passing a legislation regarding the genocide in Darfur. Farah approaches music as a medium for peace and a way to lend a voice to people around the world who need to be heard.

Word wrangler. Grammar janitor. Timecard apostate.

Creator of Find Calm Here, a global community connecting you with resources to find calm.

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