dead inside

this time it won't fix

https://soundcloud.com/heylog
https://soundcloud.com/imcaves
https://soundcloud.com/irby314

you made me feel nauseous 
i keep getting sick
can't remember where it started 
can't forget all that you did to me
you tasted so bittersweet 
i still see you every time i sleep
i gave you every part of me 
i bet you couldn't tell
i fall in love with narcissists,
don't care about myself
i just go through sedatives
keep fucking up my health 
what's the point of heaven,
i already live in hell

it's not easier 
i'll lie and say it is 
i gave up on getting better 
it's just the way it is
i've been feeling numb ever since i was a kid 
i don't wanna die,
but i don't wanna try and live

i said that i loved you 
(save me)
i gave you the blood from my skin
i tried everything
admit it
it's hard but i did it
you left me too damaged 
this time it won't fix

[heylog]
i'm calling for you 
are you with someone else
the pics on my phone
are nowhere to be found 
would it surprise you 
if i took myself
i might just die here
when no ones around
but i made a choice 
that i regret 
stomp out the house
from what i said
and now it's too late to apologize
fumbled my words,
i guess this is goodbye 

i wish i did better 
thinking all the time 
baby it's whatever
see you in the next life
i'm trying to forget her 
but god it feels impossible
now she's just a number 
floating in my phone
i wish i did better 
thinking all the time 
i don't make any sense
and it makes me wanna cry 
but i look like im stupid
and she say that it's fine 
girl you're pretty funny 
tell another lie

it's not getting easier (w/ heylog) (prod. caves & irby)

OUT NOW ON STREAMING 
https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/yokaidreams/heart-of-stone-feat-autumndropsdead

FOLLOW AUTUMN AHHH 
https://soundcloud.com/autumndropsdead


lyrics

yokai:

i can't be ur knight in shining armor
bitter woes just push me farther
and i lack any resolve to save u
don't do that just makes this harder
look me in the eyes, i need to calm down
this heart of stone, your steely gaze just might break thru

and i
understand if you hate me i do, oh i do
so try
to cope with the fact that i'm not the man that your'e used to

i can't be ur knight in shining armor
bitter woes just push me farther
and i lack any resolve to save u
don't do that just makes this harder
look me in the eyes, i need to calm down
this heart of stone, your steely gaze just might break thru

autumn:

but they don't know me, and they never will
just how much more's left to say? 
i'll take that shit and decay
but just not to my grave
lie to yourself out of pity
life's not right; imma fly out the city
say it'll be alright, okay?
i no longer believe what i say

knees are falling
i can smell the pollen
i'm fucking sick of random people calling
i don't have too much left to give
the thought of it is making me sick

turnt my face towards the tainted sky
it left me hurt, i don't know why

Heart Of Stone w/ autumndropsdead (in bloom)

i can't tell lies
with this cup in my hand 
i can't love life
being who i am 
the place my body lies
is where u left me
the place my body lies
is where u killed me  

i can't tell lies
with this cup in my hand 
i can't love life
being who i am 
the place my body lies
is where u left me
the place my body lies
is where u killed me 

u hurt me again
fuck all of ur reasons
ur fucked in the head 
alone in the end 
fuck ur fucking treason
ur fucked in the head 
i gave you all my love
when i had nothing left
u never gave it back
so aknowledge u fucked my path 

look, the seasons changing
sunny days but it's still raining 
the look u gave me
i always knew that u fucking hate me 
stop, with all the blaming 
if u shut up i'll simply take it
ur attitude is still the same and
i know that u won't change it	


i can't tell lies
with this cup in my hand 
i can't love life
being who i am 
the place my body lies
is where u left me
the place my body lies
is where u killed me  

i can't tell lies
with this cup in my hand 
i can't love life
being who i am 
the place my body lies
is where u left me
the place my body lies
is where u killed me

i can't tell lies with this cup (vyle & rxhff)

prod. me

rest easy pops<33

dad, can you remember me?
cause i see those eyes are empty
i can't even eve talk with you cause u can't think
pls tell me when you look at me who do you see 
am i still your best buddy?
can u recognize somebody
i feel like ur soul has left
without ur body 
i hate to see u suffering

ever since u've been gone
shit's been different 
i hate myself
and can't take this distance 
been fucking my health 
i can feel the symptoms 
i need fucking help 
but can't face my feelings   

(i been hiding emotions
behind all the drinks
i been hiding emotions
behind all the weed 
people know about this
and still don't talk to me 
i might be fated to 
live the rest of my life all lonely)

dad, can you remember me?
cause i see those eyes are empty
i can't even eve talk with you cause u can't think
pls tell me when you look at me who do you see 
am i still your best buddy?
can u recognize somebody
i feel like ur soul has left
without ur body 
i hate to see u suffering

dad can u remember me?

https://soundcloud.com/autumndropsdead
https://soundcloud.com/nate2timezz

lyrics:
livid..
why'd it get so tense?
tryna find the cause
just at what expense?

i feel my face is turning red
from the lack of having space
steady water i will tread
every step, i will retrace

still stuck on yesterday
it just turnt out that way

forever stuck in an eclipse
but love the feeling of the dark
twist my head and let it spin
like the grinding in my heart

still stuck on yesterday
it just turnt out that way

in motion, no i'm not the same
what i've chosen, was to leave the fray
so golden; but the sun betrayed
in search of yesterday

feelings fleeding fast
i've seen past the colors of this place
for what they truly say

i told my mind that night
save the pity
for every blemish on my chest confessed
that i am all but pretty

so listen here
this is all i have
let my stomach sear
it'll grow right back

but this'll be the one
could give a fuck bout if it's done

i feel my face is turning red
from the lack of having space
steady water i will tread
every step, i will retrace

still stuck on yesterday
it just turnt out that way

forever stuck in an eclipse
but love the feeling of the dark
twist my head and let it spin
like the grinding in my heart

still stuck on yesterday
it just turnt out that way

death is nearing tonight
give her my sight
into the tethered light

i feel my face is turning red
from the lack of having space
steady water i will tread
every step, i will retrace

still stuck on yesterday
it just turnt out that way

forever stuck in an eclipse
but love the feeling of the dark
twist my head and let it spin
like the grinding in my heart

still stuck on yesterday
it just turnt out that way

relapse; decay

SPOTIFY

autumndropsdead - relapse; decay (nate2timez)

chapter ii

produced by ztope
completely non profit

lyrics 

dragged by our feet
through the snow
the watchman saved our lives
and welcomed to his home
he has advice to give
he thought you needed some
this is no way to live
what have we become

the watchman lives to keep his lantern lit
he smells of edelwood and cigarettes
inside the forest you won't meet your death
beware the beast
this innocence is on his breath

he said they will turn on us
and we will burn to dust
we will get lost inside the forest
either one of us
so are you scared of us
cus we were left to rust
u think you care that much
this is what's left of us

don't let your mind disconnect 
from the world that you been living in
no I'm alright in the forest 
I'm at peace with all the denizens 
so keep your eyes on the track 
tho I know they feel like wandering
no I'm alright: it's an act
you just can't let doubt start setting in
several souls I know
well they left years ago
they took the lonely road
and they got lost in hope
so I'm a lonely rope
she left a lonely note
this is our only home
you're all I have to hold

decks

well I was born in blood and guts but who was counting
spoilt what I thought was mine to drown in
hold ur breath for as long as it's allowing 
the last of us are here for u
but now's it's go
go sleep in the snow
wake up to visions I'll never remember
I know now
where do we go
sickened and feeling ur losing ur tether 
it's part of the path that we take
born into hate and decay
everyone here is the same
look at the mess that we made

several souls I know
well they were once my home
they found a new one tho
and they got lost in the snow
so im your only hope
it's hard to let them go
I wish I'd never known
but now on forced to cope

betweentheveinsandi 

he said they would turn on us
and we would burn to dust
we will get lost inside the forest
either one of us
so are u scared of us?
cus we were left to rust?
u think u care that much.
this is what's left of us.


left of us ft. decks (ztope)

good night
enjoy

lyrics:
tell me how to feel
tell me how to live
clearly i dont know
cuz now i rly cant forgive
put ur heart in a keepsake 
tellin him shit that we’d say
i smoke up for the relay
used to think that every
thing i’d say was backwards
shit i didnt matter
hard to cope at all
when i hear is all the chatter
my mind is fixed on my passion
i struggle with takin action

how can i forget?
easily in fact
u make it so hard to love u
& god i’d love to
but fuck no after that

how can i forget?
everything we had
clearly its not a struggle
if u can figure it
out then its not bad

tell me how to cope
late december snow
blurry photographs
its chilly in the autumn cold
u know i miss u, farther
than we’ve been before
i know it got too hard
thats why im gone for good

how can i forget?
easily in fact
u make it so hard to love u
& god i’d love to
but fuck no after that

how can i forget?
everything we had
clearly its not a struggle
if u can figure it
out then its not bad

easily, in fact [autrioly]

hi<3

shoutout to https://soundcloud.com/branwenmusic & https://soundcloud.com/splashgvng , v talented prods 

enjoy:)

lyrics:
my necks sore, holding up
weight, from my mental it still brings me down
i cant ignore it, but i cant make it stop
i just cant find a reason to give a fuck

alright, ok, ive had it
waste a new day, damn thats tragic
alright, ok
(alright, ooo)
alright, ok, im not me
i want to leave my body
and really im so sorry, i dont know what to do

my chest sinks, im used to it
i was on the brink, you picked me up, dont mean shit now.
oh you overthink? well so does everyone
now im on the ropes, feel it slip, falling down

i get this feeling makes my head spin
i cant really explain just how its been
im so sorry for the distance
i try my best for everyone who listens

honestly cant show up, nah
too busy in my head, numb
try my best to show love, so
you know im always here
um, i kno that i care, but to me it feels you dont
really understand me

alright, ok

spotify

alright, ok (branwen x splashgvng)

ｉｆ　ｔｈｅ　ｔｒｕｔｈ　ｗｏｎ＇ｔ　ｓｅｌｌ，　ｋｅｅｐ　ｏｎ　ｂａｒｇａｉｎｉｎｇ

thank you so much for listening.

prod. farber x @jang0x
(additional piano implemented by me)

another day wasted, sitting in my room
i sleep through the dread
i skip through the news
i bet when i wake that nothing is new..
but i can dream, oh can't i?
what's wrong with the sky
it left me behind
now i don't go outside
why won't you ever ask why
the day is faster than the night
(let me go, the night, let me die)

i cannot leave when the ground has been holding me
weep and repeat, cause the cycle has grown on me
you'll brush it off, "oh he's spittin some poetry"
but really i'm trying my best so you'll notice me
i ain't been up on my luck in a minute
it must be my fault that my health has diminished
but i'll fight my way through this shit to the finish
cause i'm all i got, and it's all i was given
i wish they saw what i see on the daily
but i no longer desire a saving
i've learnt a lot, but i still fuck it over (i always fuck it up)
birds feeding out of my chest while i smolder

i watch them fly away
my intestines in their veins
i'm in an empty space
in a stagnant state

this moment's passing me by
but just whose fault is it this time?
with wings made of sludge
blue is more than just the color it's made out to be
what chilled lips to cave into the temptation of frost
if the truth won't sell, keep on bargaining.
having the upper-hand doesn't determine how many fingers it's broken
but you can assume a lot, right?..
RIGHT?
-
another day wasted, sitting in my room
i sleep through the dread
i skip through the news
i bet when i wake that nothing is new..
but i can dream, oh can't i?
what's wrong with the sky
it left me behind
now i don't go outside
why won't you ever ask why
the day is faster than the night
(let me go, the night, let me die)

with wings to fly [prod. farber x jang0]

produced by sk8miles
completely non profit
lyrics:

shawty hit me with that vac seal
no gorilla grip
she go on to talk dick sand 
and how im pussy whipped 
glad u can agree that u and i
are a perfect fit 
if we talk about the premise, 
u and i, i guess we're caving in 

caving in 
seems that all i do is fuel some version of the pain im in
glad u getting me n what i've learnt from eating pavement
said the monster looking back on everything he did
i need my medicine 

my feet lost the ground 
i am still not found
I'ma hack at this ounce
blow smoke down and make clouds 
my feet lost the ground
i am still not found
I'ma hack at this ounce 
blow smoke down and make clouds 

so we dress up
and we pub crawl
eatin on her ___
'til i get lockjaw
u gotta love me for the way i am
swear the more the that she could hurt me;
only make me more attached 
blowing smoke into a fan
while she's sleeping in my bed around like 2am
i just crack my beer n touch the cieling crush n toss the can 
lucky im all out of barz cus knowing me id take the chance bro

my bad, love u
that's a lot of vodka for someone 5 foot
hard world. pull thru.
no one gives a fuck and that's a hard truth
but you make me feel alright
better at least than most nights 
it's complex the state of my mind
but she just says to shut up 
and get the knife
 

good point, but i have a knife (sk8miles)

conclusion; the end of an era
produced by @idlyblare
<3

lyrics:
sing me a song and tell me everything is normal
its been months since i had felt at all, im tryna keep it formal with the
things that i say to those who don’t quite get the most of me
its harder to find out when
they’re leaving

find me a stone & write my name in tiny letters
if u throw it far enough then you and i are stuck together for the
rest of our years or just as long as you put up with me
i know that it has to end
you’re leaving

so if i go
no complaints
we’ll take it slow
until we break

i shop the windows of this breezy inner city
hoping for some inspiration, maybe i’ll find something pretty in the
regurgitation of my life in front of you
i put myself for sale, just wondering
if you still want me too

i break the habits of my past, im nothin better than a
old pair of shoes that no one wears until they gotta
but its
nothing personal
something terminal

i saw the rain
reflecting off your windowsill
i took the pain i gathered
turned it into chlorophyll
who knows the way
we’ll fall back into open arms
i tried to find it comforting
here i am with battle scars

learning to lose

chlorophyll [idly blare]

spotify & apple music!

Playing Dead

don't wait up
produced by metlast x luffy
featuring @lilskeleskrrt
mixed by nine to 5 and skele

lyrics:
nine to 5:
you don't need to wait up
i'm out for the night
you don't have to wake up
i'm lost inside my dreams tonight

don't wake me i'm wasted, lying on the pavement
cracked cement falling through these thin places
eyes rolled back, jagged finish to these faces
on to the next, i've been flipping all these pages
you don't really know me don't pretend that you do
it's been a long time, i don't recognize you
fuck what you've been saying, nowadays im brand new
but i'll never pretend to know what you went through

wait, wait, wait
i think i've been losing my way
fate gone to different places, these figures shapeless
nothing heres the same now
don't know why i've been waiting around
oh (gone again, waste another thought again)
I knew it from the start i'd be gone again
here we are again
caught up in the grapevine
thats a great lie
what you said it didn't sit right
didn't ask why
now i'm here with a new life

here we are

skele:
i watched the crows come in you're ripping out my heart

i'm so fucking gone
i faced the sin for what you did you played along
i watched the crows come in ripping out my heart
you can leave my body charred
that's the kind of ghost you are
even when you visit me you never wanna stay long

tell me everything
i wanna listen while you make all the corpses sing
i'll take you home
i'll watch the show
and i'll applaud you at the end before you go

nine to 5 x skele:
don't wake me i'm wasted, lying on the pavement
cracked cement falling through these thin places
eyes rolled back, jagged finish to these faces
on to the next, i've been flipping all these pages
you don't really know me don't pretend that you do
it's been a long time, i don't recognize you
fuck what you've been saying, nowadays im brand new
but i'll never pretend to know what you went through

listen on spotify!

don't wait up ft. skele (prod. metlast x luffy)

safety (secre x heyrick)

self produced, (dawsin)
mix and mastered by me (dawsin)
written by me (dawsin)

[FOR THE BEST EXPERIENCE PLS WEAR HEADPHONES <3]

lyrics ♡:
(hush)

is it sad that i think that your right?
that im ugly? and that you hate the sight
of me, i can promise that its alright
its okay cause i get it all the time

you dont wanna live the same as my youth
i get stares as soon i walk in the room
i get anxious when i wake up and i see the moon
im a human and im not perfect too

i will never forget the pain that Yahiko suffered.
And now...
this world shall know pain. 
ALMIGHTY PUSH!"

cause if you think your my homie you might die
cause everytime i ask you why you just lie 
and if u wanna duke it out then we'll fight 
ill knock u off and pass you by with a sigh

cause if you think your my homie you might die
cause everytime i ask you why you just lie 
and if u wanna duke it out then we'll fight 
ill knock u off and pass you by with a sigh

im trapped 
in the walls
im not so sure what to do about it
pls help me
e-e-e-e-e-e-e
me

why do i feel this way?
why do i feel so much hate?
why dont you come lay my grave
and we will all be safe

I SAID WHY DO I FEEL THIS WAY?
*way*
WHY DO I FEEL SO MUCH HATE?
WHY DONT YOU COME LAY MY GRAVE
AND WE WILL ALL BE SAFE

S-A-A-A-FE
S-A-A-A-FE
SAFE

*hush*
-
-
-
𝕟𝕠 𝕞𝕒𝕥𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝕨𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕡𝕒𝕚𝕟 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕘𝕠𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕥𝕙𝕣𝕠𝕦𝕘𝕙 𝕛𝕦𝕤𝕥 𝕜𝕟𝕠𝕨 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕞𝕒𝕥𝕥𝕖𝕣

hate

ｔｈａｗ　ｔｈｅ　ｇｕａｒｄ　ｔｈａｔ　ｓｈａｄｏｗｓ　ｍｅ

produced by dash vv
https://www.youtube.com/@dash8518

love y'all so much.
thank you for listening.
thank you for being here
more to come, in hopes

realistically wasting my time, and
don't claim you understand
you'll run out of road if you're way too gassed
we'll never last this
i wanna know myself 'fore i should take my life

the other side's so inviting

why you hanging 'round the wrong peers?
2D smiles but they're full of fear
i can see through the white lies
fuck a check, i ain't switch sides
matter of fact, think i'll own mine
call it wraps, called her 5 times
colon cramps, body's prolly fine
i been worse, and burnt more ties than mountains climbed
what the fuck

i hardly get any rest
when i lay me some ground
all my dreams make me sweat
well, honestly what'd i expect, i'm a tremor
who's born to make course with a crest
and since you've got room to assume,
i'll repaint the walls to a shade you once knew
but i'll say it once to conclude
it's only to falter youth

sending it down through my face to my gut
fireworks sound while i've waited enough
i ain't care much, i been down on my love shit
after effect of it damage and lunges
kicking and punching
wonder and covet
smoke in this oven i claim to be nothing
under the covers, i wake into sunder
and panic, then start to malfunction
these eyes are so indecisive
catching the sights that are so uninvited
well, anything but ultraviolet
going outside, my anxiety heightens
so i'll stay inside and be silent
minus the music and all of the crying
don't keep a snooze 'cause i'm up when the sky dim
yet prone to mute and respond autopilot

she told me that i'm smart
"i'm better than that?"
she told me i can start to feel something
she told me i could be something greater
then she left a hole inside my chest, like a crater

no one
to lend a hand
through the sawdust
in this foreign land
is this all that you want?
forever we run, even if we're not
indefinite rot
smoldered lungs while i talk

and no it ain't from the green
from birth i've been clean
but i kinda wanna be, to escape reality
no way this life was meant for me
never will i come to be fine with low expectancies
i'm fucking selfish, can't you see?
a frozen-hearted entity
thaw the guard that shadows me
too intolerant to speak
cut my lips and break my teeth
numb my limbs, but make it brief
i've got nowhere else to be
but miss the way it used to be
did you feel the same for me?

my eyes cry with the help of high life
can't you tell i repel with a fat lie
any sort of love will numb me;
numb enough to pass life
i sense two decisions
one's to splurge my thoughts and cast rhymes

it was 8 in the morning, i'm shipped like i'm cargo
heart in my chest beating out like a bongo
swipin' a scan of myself like a bar code
way past the date by some days, not alarmed though
rotten a bit, feelin' sick, sorta rank
'lil bit of soap, it could wash out the stains
i ain't been fuckin' with none of y'all lames
a couple of plays, now you thinkin' you great
this not a game, fuck a charade
pressin the keys until i feel okay
throughout the day
'till i collapse and wake up on my face
block out the sound with a video game
or something to drink
lemon and sugar remind me of fate
it's sorta sour but sweet by the grain
sweet by the grain, ay

she told me i was smart
"i'm better than that?"
she told me i can feel something
she told me i could be something greater
then she left a hole inside my chest, like a crater

by the grain [prod. dash]

with the life i’m given, i’m healing.

@lovelessgroup
@butaneband

easily, in fact [autrioly]

decks

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