Jsut wanting to cry and think about the girl i met online during quarantine 

I’m thinking about my ex I met on discord lol..we lasted for 7 months..this song reminds me so much of us.

This song is fucking amazing, ngl. But I feel sad bc of me end my ex boyfriend. I feel like I'm still in love with him but he's not anymore. It also reminds me of those times, that we were together </3

blah

Belak on all platforms:
https://linktr.ee/heybelak

Stream/Buy this song:
https://share.amuse.io/E61U3QX9wqlD

Lyrics:

you made your bed
now, lay in it
my sheets tucked in
hide the pain under
the weighted blanket
im hiding in
from the darkness

you would not believe your eyes
if everything that you ever loved died
im afraid of what lies without nightlights 
i pretend it doesnt bother me and

I’m so unimpressed
i’ve been working on getting closer to my own death 
she think that love is fucking choking on her neck 
I think that love is hitting me like drug effects
take another dose, im thinking
maybe im just too high
heart lost in the moonlight
i can feel the hateful eyes on me
i dont wanna look down below me

so stand up
you aint fighting on your own
put your hands up
for the friends that you call home
through the dead grass
where the life sucked from the rose
made a bet back to myself 
never let it go

and ill never die imma stay alive through the sound
petrified, i cant move a muscle from the couch
everytime i been feeling up you bring me down
and when i think i got thick skin you bleed me out

you made your bed
now, lay in it
my sheets tucked in
hide the pain under
the weighted blanket
im hiding in
from the darkness

I’m so unimpressed
i’ve been working on getting closer to my own death 
she think that love is fucking choking on her neck 
I think that love is hitting me like drug effects
take another dose, im thinking
maybe im just too high
heart lost in the moonlight
i can feel the hateful eyes on me
i dont wanna look down below me

unimpressed

Stream/Buy

excedi: https://soundcloud.com/excedix

thanku to all u guys <33 ur support means the most :)))) <3

fiveofive (prod. excedi)

leave me alone already ft. poppy tears (prod. constant)

forest (prod. killedmyself)

ＡＬＩＥＮＡＴＥＤ　ＦＲＯＭ　
ＡＬＬ　ＴＨＡＴ　ＩＳ　ＲＥＡＬ

//お祝い//

i just wanted to thank you guys so much for helping me reach 3k on here as well as 1k on youtube. i never thought anything would get to this level. i've got big things planned for the remainder of this year, so stay tuned. i love you guys.

also, genius won't lemme post the lyrics to this one for some reason, so here they are

ＬＹＲＩＣＳ

i don't wanna fade away
pour that liquor for my bae
we just wanna celebrate
gettin' faded fly away
stackin' plays all day 
stackin' plays all
i don't wanna lose faith
in everything I'm doing great
cause all i do is hate
on myself, what i create 
got the man in the mirror lookin, blank
got the man lookin' blank

lost in my head 
counter intuitive 
making a mess 
you know how i'm doing it
i'm caught in a web
twistin' the thread till my thoughts are all dead 
all of my friends live inside of my head  
some of them under my bed
fuck what they said
imma make my dreams come true
fuck the anxiety, depression too 
20 already & feelin so blue
imma just fight till I cop me a coupe
whippin' my wrists like i know what it do
sparkin' that spliff watchin' halloween 2
baby you makin' me feel so brand new
constantly shifting my hue
i just want you in my life for a life time
baby girl you are my enzyme
breakin' my walls, yeah i rise & i fall
& i'm blowin' these clouds as a pastime 
run with the feelings i feel
my mind is not so ideal 
shaking his hand to reveal
i'm grippin' the steel
alienated from all that is real 
i do not feel
anything that you fulfill
runnin' the game with my skill 
you think you know me, yeah you never will
i am the canvas & you are the frill
you oughta chill
destroy you bitches i will 
fuck with the set cause it's trill 
you've just been sleeping on me cause i'm ill
sweepin' on me like a spill
i'm whatchu feel


yeah you're wasting my time 
with your pretty little lies
i can see it in your eyes
& we all wanna die
but the devil's too shy
i don't wanna testify
you're the perfect lullaby 
tuck me in when i cry
fall asleep, you & i
got me feelin' so high 
like a spirit in the sky
never good with goodbye 
i don't want that
pretty baby maybe you could come solve that
run away, gone astray, i don't know man
in my veins, numb the pain when you come back

ＦＯＬＬＯＷ　ＦＵＳＩＯＮ

lovesick lullaby (prod. by neverday)

Lil Dead Guy(feat.lil happy lil sad) - C U Around(prod.drones)

thank you so much for 1K. yall mean the world to me, i hope you guys like this as much as we do :) 

it was a pleasure working w/ u homie. much love @4evrgone <3
---
i always seem to end up 
in the same postion 
it feels like my actions 
go against my intentions 
and i can't stand the fact 
that i can't even remember 
the reasons to the words 
that i've said before 
and i can't seem to hide 
my pointless emotions 
it's not like it'll change 
as much as i'd want it to 
it cuts like a knife 
whenever we're talkin 
but it's torture 
whenever we're not 

so i'm damned if i do 
and i'm damned if i don't 

now the ghost of my decisions 
they won't let me rest at night 
i'm drowned by the feeling 
of nothing but regret 
and i know that i deserve this 
never ending cycle 
of torture when i see your eyes 

and the ghost of my decisions 
will always be haunting me 
at night when i'm alone 
i can't even comprehend 
what was going through my head 
when i said i couldn't love you 
now it's all that i wish i could do 
for you 

cuz it cuts a knife 
whenever we're talking 
but it's torture 
whenever we're not 

so i'm damned if i do 
and i'm damned if i don't 

now the ghost of my decisions 
they won't let me rest at night 
i'm drowned by the feeling 
of nothing but regret 
and i know that i deserve this 
never ending cycle 
of torture when i see your eyes 

and the ghost of my decisions 
will always be haunting me 
at night when i'm alone 
i can't even comprehend 
what was going through my head 
when i said i couldn't love you 
now it's all that i wish i could do 
for you

ghost of my decisions

buy/listen

demxntia & 4evr - ghost of my decisions

Listen on Spotify

HURT (prod. reaper)

Lyrics:
I'm doing what I want
I'll do it til the grave
I'm doing what I want
And I will never change

I'm doing what I want I’ll do it til the grave
They hating on my life but I will never change
All the city lights they got me insane
They saying ima die but I’m finding my way
I'm doing what I want I’ll do it til the grave
They hating on my life but I will never change
All the city lights they got me insane
They saying ima die but I’m finding my way

I was in the city yeah on a vibe
I was in the city being guided by the lights
Mixing all them drugs yeah suicide 
Mixing all them drugs so that I can feel alive  
Baby I’m lame boy yeah that be the name
Tryna get a milli so I feel like Lil Wayne
Sipping on that yellow tea so I can numb the pain
I just numb the pain I just numb the pain

I'm doing what I want I’ll do it til the grave
They hating on my life but I will never change
All the city lights they got me insane
They saying ima die but I’m finding my way
I'm doing what I want I’ll do it til the grave
They hating on my life but I will never change
All the city lights they got me insane
They saying ima die but I’m finding my way

Maybe it’s the drugs maybe it’s the pain
Maybe I just wanna die cause hells where I was raised
Told me I was dumb said I was insane
Fuck all of that nonsense I’m the one who's making waves
and don't believe in family left that shit and made my own
Cause the houses I lived in never ever felt like home
Now I’m with my brothers and we all just tryna glow
If you ever doubted me leave me the fuck alone
And don't hit up phone cause baby it's too late
Back when I was nothing you used to tell me I was lame
But now I made a name you telling me I changed
Never been like no one cause everyone else the same ayy

I'm doing what I want I’ll do it til the grave
They hating on my life but I will never change
All the city lights they got me insane
They saying ima die but I’m finding my way
I'm doing what I want I’ll do it til the grave
They hating on my life but I will never change
All the city lights they got me insane
They saying ima die but I’m finding my way

✦ Other Platforms

City Lights

much love to @kaiyko <3
art by both of us (flower pic by love-abia on tumblr)

[demxntia & kaiyko]
you're the flower that I saw that day
I miss the way you comfort me 
I lost my sense of feeling love
the day you walked away from me

[kaiyko]

The other day, I swear that I saw your face, 
hidden in the crowd like a ghost that just fades away
I promise I wanted to see you next spring time
But by the time you come around I wont be the same girl I am 
now you start to disappear, can't help myself but drown in fear
I'm counting all our days spent together 
and I wish good times could last forever and
this is all the time we have, and I know our goodbye is shattered
but you'll be in my heart till the end of forever because...

[demxntia & kaiyko]

you're the flower that I saw that day
I miss the way you comfort me 
I lost my sense of feeling love
the day you walked away from me

[demxntia]

waking up alone I feel like part of me is missing 
flipping through the photos of the memories we shared 
and I swear that I remember all the days we spent together 
but I ruin all the things that I hold close to me 
now I'm regretting every thing we never did I can't face it
the thought of you alone breaks my heart and I hate it 
but I hope that the sound of my voice is enough 
to reach the one that I'll always love

[demxntia & kaiyko]

you're the flower that I saw that day
I miss the way you comfort me 
I lost my sense of feeling love
the day you walked away from me

When the sun sets I'll try to remember 
the things you that you promised when we were together
I'll dry all your tears if it means that you'll stay
I'll find you again and again till this pain fades away

the day you walked away

spotify, apple, etc.

the day you walked away w/ kaiyko

original song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FZVYOriINwc
all vox and production by me LMFAOOOO

last track for a bit, gonna fly out and meet some friends. run it up i love yall <3

free dl uwu

caraphernelia

Lyrics:
Cause we sat in that call till 5 in the morning and 
you fell asleep with that cute little snore but
You're a fucking harpy know you'll harm me
Get so fucking high I feel your heart beat

Were so fucking foolish ye I know
We set it up for failure from the very start
UwU OwO UwU OwO
Worlds separate us both so why do we care so much
Maybe its an act 2 lonely fucking souls just
Getting what they wanted aye someone there to fall apart with

Cause we sat in that call till 5 in the morning
And you fell asleep with that cute little snore and
those words that you say they make my sadness heal but
I can't guarantee any of this is real
I don't care, I'll just feel, while I can UwU OwO
Cause when those drugs kick in you won't see me again
I'll wither away in my fucking bed like it's always been
Things won't ever change, please pretend its real
Even if its fake

You're a fucking harpy know you'll harm me
Get so fucking high I feel your heart beat
Through that screen
We can fake like were happy

Cause we sat in that call till 5 in the morning
And you fell asleep with that cute little snore and
Those words that you say they make my sadness heal but
I can't guarantee any of this is real
I don't care, I'll just feel, while I can UwU OwO
Cause when those drugs kick in you won't see me again
I'll wither away in my fucking bed like it's always been
Things won't ever change, please pretend its real
Even tho it's fake

discord ~ [p. sketchmyname]

stumbled over this song a week or so ago and decided to do a lil remix on it <3
original: https://soundcloud.com/sushisai/discord
beat: https://soundcloud.com/sketchmyname/hopes-up

Cause we sat in that call till 5 in the morning and 
you fell asleep with that cute little snore but
You're a fucking harpy know you'll harm me
Get so fucking high I feel your heart beat

Were so fucking foolish ye I know
We set it up for failure from the very start
UwU OwO UwU OwO
Worlds separate us both so why do we care so much
Maybe its an act 2 lonely fucking souls just
Getting what they wanted aye someone there to fall apart with

demxntia:
cuz we sat in that call 
till 5 in the morning
And you fell asleep
but i'm still wide awake
cuz the words that you say
just won't leave my head
and i think of your voice
when i lay in my bed

when we sing along to the
songs that we play
it's a little out of sync
but it's all okay
when i see your face
through my dirty screen
i won't feel alone
if it's you and me

You're a fucking harpy know you'll harm me
Get so fucking high I feel your heart beat
Through that screen
We can fake like were happy

Cause we sat in that call till 5 in the morning
And you fell asleep with that cute little snore and
Those words that you say they make my sadness heal but
I can't guarantee any of this is real
I don't care, I'll just feel, while I can UwU OwO
Cause when those drugs kick in you won't see me again
I'll wither away in my fucking bed like it's always been
Things won't ever change, please pretend its real
Even tho it's fake

suisai & demxntia - discord (remix)

thank you for 6K. glad to finally work with one of my best friends in the scene @ihateshinigami

i never asked 
for the cards 
i been dealt with
and i still
don't know
where my mind is
feel like
my happiness and i
have part ways
feel my eyes
growin heavy
on my pale face

and all i ever
wanna be is enough for you
but i never get close
no matter what i do, and
everybody is sayin
i should relax
but the stress is 
piling up as time elapse

and i swear it never gets better
i been sleepin less and less
this shit is lasting forever
but i try my fucking best
i got too much on my plate
i'm sorry i'm far away
i promise i don't mean to be
but this ain't easy to say

so don't go away from me
i just need a little bit more time
don't go away from sme
i just need a little bit more time

when it's said and done 
i hope that i'm enough
for the ones i love
but it's getting tough
so just bear with me
you're the one i need
i've been losing sight
got no room to breath


[shinigami]

w/ my eyes wide open
i see clearly now
stretch my hands
let fate fall into place

up and down i been falling
cold wind calling my name
i'm not the same as i once was

i'll take you away
to a world that is glistening
where everything's fine
have you even been listening?
i'm falling apart
you knew this from the start
lay your head in my arms
we'll never be apart

losing sight w/ shinigami

everything is ok 

written & performed by colliding with mars
produced by colliding with mars
mixed and mastered by polearm
additional vocal engineering by leorinda
cover art by colliding with mars


lyrics:

I’m gonna be a pop star 
So I can go make my mother proud of me
She never believed in the music industry
Every time I showed her one of my songs
She never really cared at all

[Chorus]
God damn
Just wanna see you in the crowd sometime
Because you’ve seen me break down one too many times tonight
And I know I haven’t been the greatest son
But I wanna prove that I’m the type
I’ll make it up to you

Quit your crying
Teach your son a lesson, quit your crying
I spent my whole life proving myself
To those who I’d never see again
Guess that’s something I get used to
But I’m moving on
Hindsight 20.20 when there’s something wrong

I just wanna be special to you

[Chorus]

Now when they all see me want a photo
How you even say that you’ve been so cold
I don’t wanna be here wanna go home
I just wanna go home
I don’t make as much as all my friends
When you say that wish that I was dead
I just wanna make my mom proud
But all she cares about is why I’m not the best now

I just wanna be special to you

[Chorus]

I’m gonna be a pop star so I can go make my mother proud

suisai & demxntia - discord (remix)

demxntia 🌐🖤

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