The second album in my Archivist series, where I document human emotion and present my findings in the form of music.

With Archive #02, I wanted to take a vastly deeper dive into the complexities of ‘Desire’ and what it means than I did with the first Archive about anger. I wanted to talk about ‘desire’ in many different contexts. Desire can take many different shapes; desire to be with someone can be seen as ‘love’, desire for something out of reach can be ‘yearning’, desire for something better can be ‘hope’, desire to leave something behind is ‘disdain’. Sometimes it’s wanting for wanting itself, a desire to feel passionate about something again. To grow the gardens of our souls and find others like us. To be alive is to wish for things. With every song on this project, I tried to explore different meanings and consider ‘desire’ from every angle.

Archive #02: Desire

just leave me with Eden

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Writing by Derivakat and BlueDrak3
Vocals by Derivakat
Production, Mix & Master by BlueDrak3
Artwork by beauty_fer

Eden

keep on chasing stars, wondering where you are...

When you offer a wish to a star, but then all it does is take your hopes and leave you behind. Star Trails is a song that echoes sentiments over and over again. To put your faith and trust in somebody, only for them to leave you behind. And you chase after them, lost and confused, clinging to the remaining memories, hoping for some kind of sign that they will never come back to give you. There’s a desire to hold on, to never admit it’s time to let go.

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Credits:
Writing & Vocals by Derivakat
Production & Mix by Netrum
Mastered by BlueDrak3
Art by Qaramello

Star Trails

hopelessly we're intertwined but for a moment, you were mine

while initially working on the concept for this album, I gravitated a lot towards writing about stars, meteors and space as metaphors for wishes and the inevitability of an ending to all things. so this song is about meteors that are fated to fall, but that the fleeting existence and the beauty in the fall (we call it a shooting star) is still something that we as humans marvel at and assign hope to through our wishes.

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Credits:
Writing, Vocals, Production by Derivakat
Additional Production, Mix & Master by BlueDrak3
Artwork by mangdreams

Fall

so tell me, when did you become my everything?

when writing this song, I was greatly inspired by the phrase "to be loved is to be changed" and how we are made up of all the people we have come across in our lives.

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Credits:
Writing, Vocals, Production & Mix by Derivakat
Master by BlueDrak3
Album Art by Qaramello


Credits:
Writing by Derivakat and Yuki
Vocals & Production by Derivakat
Additional Production, Mix & Master by BlueDrak3
Artwork by Qaramello

stars aren't made for lasting, burnt out in the end

purpose doesn't always feel inherent. if you haven't yet found it, or once you've lost it, how do you get it back? sometimes you just want to want again. I wrote about this concept in 'Castaway' also thinking about how for some objects in space, they float endlessly and never run into anything else.

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Credits:
Writing by Derivakat and SixteenInMono
Vocals & Mix by Derivakat
Instrumental & Production by SixteenInMono
Mastering by BlueDrak3  
Artwork by Qaramello

Castaway

searching for something to live beyond my days

I think we only really die when someone remembers us for the last time. we live on through our stories, but I feared for so long that I had nothing worthwhile to say to the world, that I would never amount to much and be forgotten with time. but now I've learned that just being alive makes my voice worth being heard. I want to show you who I am through my writing, so let me be that fleeting melody that lingers just a bit longer in your head

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Credits:
Writing, Vocals, Production & Mix by Derivakat
Guitar by StarlightDaryl
Bass by Riptide
Drums by Cartian
Mastering by BlueDrak3
Artwork by Qaramello

Melody

but the more we go in circles, the less i wanna stay.

in writing this album, I considered a lot about how detesting someone is actually be a desire to be rid of them. a person for whom everyone else puts up with their behavior, but you see them for what they really are. egotistical, selfish, self-destructing. Icarus flying too close to the sun.

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Credits:
Writing, Vocals, Production & Mix by Derivakat
Guitars by Cartian
Additional Production & Mastering by BlueDrak3
Artwork by mangdreams

Downfall

the reason I'm drawn to the night...

June is a distanced embodiment of constantly working toward a goal that you never quite feel like you reach. for every June you make it to, there is another waiting. so I learned to be content with the journey instead. I get really bad insomnia sometimes, spending late nights writing songs that nobody but me and the stars will hear. but even so, I wouldn’t give up what I do for anything in the world. I want to give making music my all, and I would be content even if I did it just for myself and those empty nights.


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Credits:
Writing by Derivakat and Yuki
Vocals, Production & Mix by Derivakat
Additional Production & Master by BlueDrak3
Art by mangdreams

June

like rays of sunlight breaking through the rain

yes i wrote a love song and yes it was a birthday present. forgive me for yearnmaxxing

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Credits:
Writing, Vocals, Production & Mix by Derivakat
Master by BlueDrak3
Album Art by Qaramello

Serotonin

i can't be the only one who feels this way, wishing every night and day won't stay the same

we are stuck in a loneliness epidemic, with a desire to connect with others but no clear way to do it. this repetition of spending every day isolated, staring at my ceiling at the end of the day, wondering if things will ever change.

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Credits:
Writing by Derivakat, BlueDrak3 and Yuki
Vocals by Derivakat
Production, Mix & Master by BlueDrak3
Album Art by Qaramello

Alone

hearts were never meant to last, but they make us feel alive

I wrote this song for me and euni to sing together as a duet! it's a nice, wholesome song about appreciating someone through hard times, even when they're far away. this song was greatly inspired by the phrase "the rain was necessary so the flowers could bloom"

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Credits:
Writing by Derivakat and BlueDrak3
Vocals by Derivakat and eunivrz
Production, Mix & Master by BlueDrak3
Album Art by Qaramello

Bloom (feat. eunivrz)

what will you reach if you never try?

Since I turned 25 this year, I’ve been thinking a lot about what I would say to myself from 10 years ago, when I was in high school. The lyrics of the song are both a question to my past self, and anyone else struggling with their “desire to live”, however that can be interpreted. How we have to be brave, put in the work, and let go of the things holding us back in order to move forward. Whether it’s through finding connections with others, finding purpose for my art, or figuring out how my experiences have shaped me into who I am, all of these things are my desire to be alive.

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Credits:
Writing by Derivakat & BlueDrak3
Production, Mix & Master by BlueDrak3
Album Art by Qaramello

Live

a lifetime of "love you's" inside my head

I was really bad at expressing myself and my feelings with words through much of my early life. I always thought I was a bad songwriter because of this too. So I also had a hard time telling people that I was grateful or appreciative or loving through words. The chorus of the song uses incomplete similes and metaphors to emphasize this, where I’d rather just sing my feelings and take action than put it into words.

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Credits:
Writing by Derivakat and BlueDrak3
Vocals by Derivakat
Production, Mix & Master by BlueDrak3
Album Art by Qaramello

Love You Like

i want to be loved again

this song is about finding someone who makes you believe you are deserving of love. even if it takes a long time. even if you cry your wishes to the stars on a cold spring night. even if you carry your pain from the past, hoping you can still heal. it's never too late to start again.

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Credits:
Writing by Derivakat and Netrum
Vocals by Derivakat
Production & Mix by Netrum
Master by BlueDrak3
Album Art by Qaramello

Late Spring

feeling pressure in my head again, find a way to ease the pain instead

I wrote this song when I was still in college in 2020. it's about feeling lost and unsure about what action to take to move forward. It's paralyzation in the face of a lack of desire. This album not only talks about desire and what it means to want something, but also what happens when you don’t have any desire.

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Merch: https://derivakat.store/
Contact: https://derivakat.com/#contact
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/derivakat

Credits:
Writing, Vocals, Production & Mix by Derivakat
Master by BlueDrak3
Album Art by Qaramello

No Signs

this restless motion's left me chosen as its home

ok so maybe i haven't written a full 23 songs about insomnia (it's a hyperbole) but it's a constant topic I write about in my music. i wrote this demo in 2022 at like 6am or something after being kept up for the entire night by my insomnia. i've had bits and pieces of these lyrics written during different nights where I barely slept.

Derivakat socials:
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Instagram: instagram.com/derivakat
Merch: https://derivakat.store/
Contact: https://derivakat.com/#contact
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/derivakat

Credits:
Writing, Vocals, Production & Mix by Derivakat
Master by BlueDrak3
Album Art by Qaramello

Insomnia

The Archivist ✧ writing songs like wishes to the stars ✧ Musician / Content Creator ✧ Contact: derivakat@gmail.com ✧ Pre-save my new music: https://derivakat.vault.fm/d/pre-save