I'm sick af and I'm laying in my bed blasting this with no headphones

you called me cute, i said "ok"
i'm sorry i just didn't know what to say
i feel embarrassed all the time
every time i open my mouth i want to die
there's something wrong with me

don't talk to me
i don't know how to speak
i'm on a twenty one year retarded streak
so leave me alone
i never pick up my phone
i hate it here and i want to go home

i know that i'm really awkward
when you talk my fucking head hurts
i can't even look you in the eyes
i really wanna fuck you but i'm too shy
there's something wrong with me

Don't Talk to Me

Spawnkilled

every day i wake up just the same
get the same feeling in my brain
everythings perfect all the time
im feeling great, im feeling fine

thats why when i go to sleep i stay awake
staring at the ceiling, too much running through my brain
feeling tired, but this feeling wont just go away
nothings wrong, ive got it all but i still feel this way

thats why when i go to sleep i stay awake
staring at the ceiling, but i dont know what to say
feeling empty, but this feeling it just stays the same
nothings wrong, i dont know why but im just stuck this way

every day i wake up just the same
but im still stuck in yesterday
get the same feeling in my brain
it feels like nothing stops the pain
everythings perfect all the time
say something else, not worth the time
im feeling great, im feeling fine

so why am i
this way inside?

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/49pLQYihaCasowx5Tvzdc3?si=dc3e49660560475d
Apple Music: https://music.apple.com/us/album/nothings-wrong/1613326864?i=1613327046

Nothing's Wrong

Nevada

cant look at you
rotting dead body tissue
can you feel anything?
stupid cant even talk right
making a fool of myself one more time
i want to kill my mind
try to end my life not the first time

so useless i might aswell be dead
never gonna leave my fucking bed
i'm worthless feeling so jaded 
waiting for my pain to come to an end

were falling in
skeleton bodies
sitting here just bleeding out slowly
giving in to the pain i suffer
would rather die than find another

so useless i might aswell be dead
never gonna leave my fucking bed
i'm worthless feeling so jaded 
waiting for my pain to come to an end

carve out my fucking flesh
you make me feel like death
you did this to me
its all your fault

so useless i might aswell be dead
never gonna leave my fucking bed
i'm worthless feeling so jaded 
waiting for my pain to come to an end

might aswell be dead

(lyrics below) Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/3ExGB125JobAjvf5QPLSYo?si=knpZYBv5R6Ox5CdL5nZMAQ

If they all hurt me
Why shouldn't I do the same? 
I keep it all in a bottle 
As I sit around, twirl and waddle

Into walls, smash my body on the concrete 
Put a brick on the gas and leave me in the backseat
I guess you were right all along

It doesn't hurt as bad in my head
With blood-soaked towels around my bed 
I guess you were right all along
It doesn't hurt as bad in my head
With blood-soaked towels around my bed 
I guess you were right all along

And I wanted you to suffer 
Just as much as I did 
But now I just want you to watch me,
Yeah, I just want you to watch me

Pour my guts out on your shirt
Self myself ablaze, for you it wouldn't hurt 
But to me, this means everything 
This means everything to me 

It doesn't hurt as bad in my head
With blood-soaked towels around my bed 
I guess you were right all along
It doesn't hurt as bad in my head
With blood-soaked towels around my bed 
I guess you were right all along

Your eyes, my pain
Your eyes, my pain

Watch Me Hurt Myself (And I'll Be Yours)

(Lyrics  to all tracks below) Thank you for listening fren. This EP on spotify: https://open.spotify.com/album/4bORMCXR1A7lHs45mUENwa?si=De3NEOErS0WpT1TGr3JaYQ

[Lost an iPod?]

My name, my face
Is not important
But I think you should know
I have the best of intentions

Block the exits, make it matter
Worse ways to go than...

This is how it feels to liberate 
The body from the soul (from the soul)
An ancient heresy, can you believe I have faith
Once more?

Will I finally be beautiful if my form ceases to be?
And if so, would you care
To join me?

This is how it feels to liberate 
The body from the soul (from the soul)
An ancient heresy, can you believe I have faith
Once more?

Will I finally be beautiful if my form ceases to be?
Will I finally be beautiful if you die with me?

This is how it feels to liberate 
The body from the soul (from the soul)
An ancient heresy, can you believe I have faith
Once more?

[FtM]

They wanted you to be
So perfect and pure
Be attractive
And don't you dare feel insecure

Put your body out there for them
They tell you that it's all you're worth
But the boys, they don't have to go through this
The boys are judged for what they are...

Tear off what makes me an object
Cut me up until the pain goes away
Tear off what makes me an object
Don't want to be prey...

Reject my name, reject my face
Reject my body, reject myself
Reject my name, reject my face
Reject my body, reject myself

Tear off what makes me an object
Cut me up until the pain goes away
Tear off what makes me an object
Don't want to be prey...

Medicalized

(I cried) I cried over spilled milk
And I got medicalized
Declared defective (defective)
By everyone I know

Dead on arrival
Statistics so vile
They work against you

Classified, put on a file
To eternalize your struggles
Set in stone for the insurance company
Maybe I'm as neurotic as they say

(I cried) I cried over spilled milk
And I got medicalized
Declared defective (defective)
By everyone I know

Medicalized
Medicalized

[Sometimes It's Better Not To Know]

(My eyes)

Don't wanna have to remember
So turn my head
I don't wanna hear about it
Don't wanna hear about it at all

And if I die (if I die)
Without being honest
Please keep it to yourself
Please keep it to yourself

[There is no Misaki]

She's not out there
To save you
That's just fantasy

I waited and waited for so long
For her to show on my doorstep
But she never came

I saw her in a dream
And when I woke up it was the saddest thing
That I've ever felt upon my skin

Since that day
I'm not very talky
Because now I know
There is no Misaki

sorry tech
28/11/24

i let go of what made me whole
and dug myself a deeper hole
i fucking hate being alone
but its all ive ever known
theres nobody left to care
so why the fuck am i still scared?
i dont think there's any coming back from this

i cant find any bliss

cant take living in this skin
did my life ever really begin?
sink into my cold sheets
dont wanna wake up this week

id ask u to stay
but ure too far away
i dont know if i can take another day
i wanna find a way
to not be so afraid
maybe then i could fix this mess ive made

im the worst of lovers
we'll never find each other
im a jerk, ill suffer
and youll just find another

bliss

All traks & playlists

I’m dancing with shadows #1

i lay awake at night
'cause i don't feel alright
i'm not gonna get any better
not now, not fucking ever
so i curl up into a ball
try to forget who i am at all
then i'll just stare at my bedroom wall

3 am and i'm sad again
i just want this pain to come to an end

tears start to fill my eyes
no one is here to see me cry
oh why do i deserve this?
i feel so fucking worthless
nobody lies by my side
can't see the hell i try to hide
as i sleep inside my cell i dream of suicide

Nevada

DethTech

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