Genius!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Keep Networking find our people let's make concerts based on truth and comedy, Grind against these crooked nose imploders of nations.

I'm sitting on a huge lawsuit potentially

"Yo, how u want your podcast network fam?"
"Just fuck my shit up"
"Say no more. That'll be $30K, plus tip."

Download available at: https://www.orfium.com/track/494119/hurt-just-fuck-my-personal-and-professional-reputation-up-lakembra/

Backing track: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7xkfizay7ak

Lyrics:

I cucked myself today to see if I still feel
I focus on my rape, the only thing that's real

Dick's penis tears a hole. The old familiar sting
Try to shill it all away but I disavowed everything

What have I become, my sweetest Dick?
Every subscriber goes away pretty quick.

And you could have my failed podcast empire of dirt
I will let you down, I will sell bad shirts.

Hurt (Just fuck my personal and professional reputation up)

Your Dong (SUNG BY LAKEMBRA)

A love letter to a broken relationship. Satire tag included.

Production and Vocals by Danny Danger
Chorus Vocals by Emma Abrahamsson and Daniel Hansson
Lyrics and Concept by Christopher Lush, Danny Danger and the Dick Show FB Group

George (/parody) feat. Emma Abrahamsson & Daniel Hansson

Support a starving autist.  Now subtly accepting donations at www.kendollinhide.com #mymomwarnedmetheresnomoneyinsongsaboutcucksandpenises

Don't walk away run
Don't walk away run
Don't walk away run
These wautergate leaks are not very fun
If you hate Dick
Don't walk away run
If you hate bits
Don't walk away run
If you hate tits
Don't walk away run
These wautergate leaks are not very fun

Listen here buddy, I don't control people
I'm much too busy in the shower pluggin' up my pee hole
#Dicklies he's a meanie and a weasel
All he cares about is entertaining fans that he stole

I want the truth out, yeah that's why I'm doin' this
Dick needs to be punished so that's why I'm suin' his
Friends and co-workers ain't nobody safe
All you dickheads gonna lose your job up in this place

But this can all end, like I told you before
In e-mail 205, paragraph 64
Just thank me for the snacks and oh yeah there's more
I'm gonna need that 50 bucks for the broken door

Don't believe my ex abused me?  Just look and you shall see
She left me with this doosey of a broken door fallacy
As for Sean, he really loves to work for me
I tried to pay him once but he'd rather give his time for free

If you hate goss
Don't walk away run
If you hate Madcucks
Don't walk away run
If you hate Asterios
Don't walk away run
These wautergate leaks are not very fun

If you hate Peach
Don't walk away run
If you hate Denzel
Don't walk away run
If you hate Sean
Don't walk away run
These wautergate leaks are not very fun

To all the Dickheads out there, guys I hope you're hearin' this
Career flashed before my eyes, near death experience
I hate monkeys, dogs and fries, yes I'm serious!
But even more I hate Dick's lies, I'M SO DELIRIOUS!

Yeah I'm suin' Madcucks, don't ya know he dresses like a slob
Call me Budget Cuts the way I'm goin' after teachers' jobs
Waitin' for my podcast to end? It won't be fuckin' long
My values are incompatible with Rucka Rucka's songs

Keeping track of all these lies is getting tiring
They're supposed to win you over but I think it's backfiring
I can't just quit, it's too soon to be retiring
I wonder if that telemarketing place is still hiring

Don't Walk Away Run

Support a starving autist.  I'm now milking strangers for cash over at https://www.patreon.com/kendollinhide #dietcokedoesntgrowontrees

Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe

Sue it, sue it, sue it, HEHE (x too many)

L.A. broke my dreams but this cuckolds's back
Dickheads making memes but I think they're whack
To all you making money, it's disgusting to see
Your dickels are no good here 'cause my content is free
I bought a new website, it's a terrible style
A melancholy network where you'll never smile
And all I wanna hear is the soundboard ding
My fish eyes, dead and empty 'cause I don't get sleep

Jane Doe, Jane Doe, I'm your man
Let's fuck our lives up, hand in hand
Take Tyrone's load, deep inside
I'll hide in here and cry
My news show's awful but it's free
Let's burn this dumpster, you and me
Jane Doe, Jane Doe's up for grabs
Has everyone been in?

I have a clap track, a clap trap
I fill guests up with fat snacks
Why do ladies all love Dax?
I miss Sean, hope he comes back
Can't believe I'm suin' everybody in here
I think I'm gonna fuck up even harder this year
Watch me as I shoot my foot, hehehehehe
My sub's down, it was a ghost town,
Ran by a clown, it was bound to sink
Should I give up, and calm down,
Yo Heather baby, what do you think?
Don't stop, sue it, sue it
I'll even help you do it
Watch me as I cuck myself, hehehehehe
Sue it, sue it, sue it, HEHE
Sue it, sue it, sue it, HEHE
Sue it, sue it, sue it, HEHE
Sue it, sue it, sue it, HEHE

"Hello fellow kids!  This news program is brought to you by Tide Pods!  Don't eat them guys."

Jane Doe, Jane Doe, I'm your man
Let's fuck our lives up, hand in hand
Take Tyrone's load, deep inside
I'll hide in here and cry
My news show's awful but it's free
Let's burn this dumpster, you and me
Jane Doe, Jane Doe's, up for grabs
Has everyone been in?

Don't stop, sue it, sue it
Here I'll help you do it
Guys I promise, I'm not Heather hehehehehe
Don't stop, sue it, sue it
Spellcheck? Nah, screw it
Watch me as I cuck myself, hehehehehe

Sue it, sue it, sue it, HEHE (x4)

(parody of Feels Good Inc. by Gorillaz, requested by Sofa Man)

Feels Bad Inc.

If you wanna be my patron, you gotta go to https://www.patreon.com/kendollinhide
LYRICS 
Yo, I'll tell you bought I bought, what I really, really bought
So tell me what you bought, what you really, really bought
I'll tell you what I bought, what I really, really bought
So tell me what you bought, what you really, really bought
I bought a, (he) I bought a, (he) I bought a, (he) I bought a, (he)
I bought a $30,000 shitty voting website

If you wanna hurt your brain, listen to sadcast
If you wanna get with Jane, you just have to ask
Now don't go wasting this cuckold's time
Buy a couple madbucks we could be just fine

I'll tell you what I bought, what I really, really bought
So tell me what you bought, what you really, really bought
I bought a, (he) I bought a, (he) I bought a, (he) I bought a, (he)
I bought a $30,000 shitty voting website

If you wanna be my lawyer, you gotta sue all Dick's friends
Goss can't last forever, let's sue them 'til it ends 
If you wanna be my lawyer, you have got to skim
My e-mails are quite lengthy, but that's the way it is

"$20,000.00 per plaintiff"
Wow that's such a good deal
"Says here you're suing Madcucks, are you for real?"
Here's my first payment, I'll give you a try
But if you get too yappy #landaubites

I'll tell you what I bought, what I really, really bought
So tell me what you bought, what you really, really bought
I bought a, (he) I bought a, (he) I bought a, (he) I bought a, (he)
I bought a $30,000 shitty voting website

If you wanna be my lawyer, thank me for the snacks
Don't bite the hand that feeds you, here have some crackerjacks
If you wanna be my lawyer, you have got to skim
This lawsuit is a doosey, it's 53 pages

So, here's the story from ants to aids
You wanna sue with me, you better listen carefully
We got "Ken in the place with leather in your face"
Heather's real bored "I type on the keyboard"
Jane D. stays here for free "Is she a real lady?"
Hehe...you'll see ;)

Slam your lawsuit down, sue everyone in town
Slam your lawsuit down, sue everyone in town

If you wanna be my lawyer, you gotta risk getting disbarred
Don't worry about typos, apostrophes' are hard
If you wanna be my lawyer, you have got to fib
Quote satire out of context 'cause that's the way we'll win

If you wanna be my lawyer
You gotta, you gotta, you gotta, you gotta, you gotta
Sue, sue, sue, sue

Slam your lawsuit down, sue everyone in town
Slam your lawsuit down, sue everyone in town
He, he, he, he, he
Slam your lawsuit down, sue everyone in town
Slam your lawsuit down and hehehe *scoff*

If you wanna be my lawyer

[Parody of Wannabe by Spice Girls]

Wannabe My Lawyer

Music written, performed and produced by MCMC ©2018

Lyrics written and performed by Kendollinhide ©2018

As heard on episode 96 of The Dick Show (2h34m30s): http://thedickshow.com/episode-96/

Lyrics:

 Sup dog, you wanna go for a ride?
'Sure but one rule, I insist that I drive
'I have some DUIs, I hope you don't mind
 Uh just stop humping my leg, we'll get along fine
'Let's get down to business, so you wanna do some suin'?
 Yes Dick Masterson his reputation I must ruin
 Think you can end his show and all the free speech that he's doin'?
'Sure I'll quote this silly Madcucks joke to prove collusion
 Make sure it looks legit, there's a lot on the line
'I'll dot all my t's and cross all my i's
'Check these court docs, I'm a grammatical savage
 Sue anything that walks, they're just collateral damage
'I'll serve Dick with papers 'til he's soakin' in sweat
 I hope we win soon 'cause I'm as broke as it gets
 File some fancy motions, force the dickheads to be silent
'Well first I have to piss, do you see a fire hydrant?

 Bicycle Boys, yeah we can't be stopped
 We're the ultimate legal dream team, you'll get rocked
 And your socks will get knocked right off
 When you guys realize it's now illegal for you to say "Mad Dix Lost"

 I found a new .gif, that's add it to the log
 They're photoshopping you now, that didn't take long
'Is that supposed to be me?  A drinky-drivey dog?
'Who's pissing on my face?
 They call him Pepe the Frog
'Feels bad men, I'm gonna bite these defendants
 Convince the judge we're right so he tears up the first amendment
'*gasp* Bold move! I think that might just work
 Ugh, I'll do the writing
'And I'll confuse the clerks!

 Bicycle Boys yeah we fit like a glove
'He likes to get cucked
 He drives and gets fucked
 Together we're gonna win, 400 million bucks
 You guys'll get sued if you try to say we suck

 We need to get to New York
'Let's pedal 'til our feet hurt
 Can Jane ride on your lap?
'What's she like?
 She's a real flirt
'Meh, not my type
 She'll make your cucking dreams reality
 There's nothing inherently wrong with a little bestiality
'Uhh, I like my bitches, a little less bitchy
 Why are my britches a little bit itchy?
 Oh well, let's get back to the plan
'First, pay my retainer
 Here's some Vodka
'You're the man!

 Bicycle Boys, yeah we can't be stopped
 We're the ultimate legal dream team, you'll get rocked
 And your socks will get knocked right off
 When you guys realize it's now illegal for you to say "Mad Dix Lost"

 We're gonna win this, I have a good feeling
'Uhhh! I hate Greenberger and his Easter Egg memeing!
 Yeah he's next, let's sue him when we're done
'What for?
 Same as the rest, he's having too much fun

 Bicycle Boys

Bicycle Boys (Kendollinhide original, mastered by Samglaze)

This extended version was made possible by the suckers paying me to have too much fun at www.patreon.com/kendollinhide

Thumbnail by https://twitter.com/geistpolizei

LYRICS

(Intro)

Y'all act like you never seen a proud cuckold before
Jaws all on the floor, like me when 80s girl busted my door
Poor me, I get PTSD 
When I image search ""The Dick Show 76""
It's the return of the "Oh wait, no way, your kidding,
He didn't just sue who I think he did, did he?"
What's Rucka Rucka say?
Nothing you dullards! Rucka ran away, he's hiding in the UK
Caitlin loves Maddox man, "spilla spilla spilla Dick's such a dick *snort* I'm so sick of him
Look at him, walkin' around gossin' 'bout you know who
"Maddox is a huge pussy" "Yeah but he's so progressive though"
I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
I'm upside down and backwards like the flusher in Dick's bathroom
Sex is the best, so much humping in my bedroom
(Please keep it down you two I'm trying to do my Youtube news)
Pim Tool's my little bitch, Pim Tool's my little bitch
And if I'm lucky he might just give me a little kiss
He's diversifying though, not just a journalist
Now on WikiHow like "here's how you taxidermy dicks"
Of course I never learned what intercourse is
I asked my guest the other day
"Girls pee through their clitorises, don't they?"
Sex like a samurai
I have a thing for handsome guys, I lose myself whenever I look in their eyes
Invite 'em to the crib like "Bang my girl please, yo"
"Take my hairy tush when you're finished up with Jane Doe"
If they say no, I got the antidote
Grab my wig and pantyhose, dim the lights, "Threesome, bro!"

(CHORUS)

Dick don't gotta steal I-Tunes feeds to make money
Well I do, so fuck him and fuck you too
You think I give a damn about a fanbase?
Y'all just have bad taste, my Patreon's almost as small as Dick's face
"But dude we're gonna lose this lawsuit here"
Well only if #dicklies and tells the judge I'm weird
And now this Ken Doll fuck is singing Britney Spears?
His only song that doesn't suck is about stacking chairs
Now I run the best debate in the universe
But I still watch TDS, oh that show's the worst!
Sean and Layc, will they won't they? That's some chemistry
They should probably just hook up...with me (hehe)
Sean come back and fix the audio on TBD
You could be my junior zinger slinger deputy
I'm sick of stupid TDS groups all you do is annoy me
My foster lawyer will destroy you
And there's a couple fans who still like me
Who shill like me, who creep women out like me, who pout like me
Lie and imply like me, they might just be the next worst thing
But not quite me!

(CHORUS)

I'm such a weirdo to listen to
Subscribers are leaving confused, when I'm spewin' Tide news 
Straight from my living room
The Biggest Problem is I have the gall to try to sue you all
Fling spaghetti from my brain and see what sticks to the wall
I just get on the mic and shit it, though I don't like to admit it
I'm worse than all 3 dozen Asterios podcasts out there
Now you guys are all discussing shady edits on reddit, NOT FUNNY
Cause at the rate I'm going when I'm fifty
I'll be cooking cricket burgers with my roomates cause I'm thrifty
Spying on my crazy neighbor lady while I'm jerkin'
Money's tight, cancelled all my preggo magazine subscriptions :(
And in every screwed up person is a fake Heather lurkin', could be at Pacific Dining Car
like "you don't know what good steaks are!" 
Or in the parking lot cycling,
Screaming "Don't call me a cuck!" with a dopey frown while he keys your truck
So will the real Heather, please shut up
Where the hell does Trevor live?  This sucks!
Now it's clear that I'm outta my mind and outta control
So  one more time, loud as I can, here I go!

(CHORUS x2)

"Hehe.  I guess there's a little Heather S. in all of us.  Let's all call CPS on each other."

The Real Heather S. (extended)

Did you know that you can send me mean messages at www.patreon.com/kendollinhide I won't try to have your family torn apart?

Yo, Heather
(Yo)
Open up, Heather
(Yeah, what do you want, man?)
This bully just messaged me
(OMG are you okay?)
I don't know how this happened
(Does she have children?)
Yeah, it looks like she does
Should I just block her? I don't know what to do
(Call CPS)
Alright

Lady came in and she sent me a message
Relaying what her husband said
Picture this, I sobbing butt naked
Watching TDS in my cuck shed
How could I forget that I had
Opened up DMs last week
All these years I've been bragging how
These haterz just do not phase me

We'll get this lady fired so she doesn't have no scrilla
Follow these steps after crying in your pilla
We'll turn you from a wimpy cuck into a job killa
Then you and Lando sue her, yo I bet that you could winna
To be a true weirdo gotta be super weird
Use this pic of her, her kid and husband with the beard
Gotta let her know mean words aren't okay
Threaten to have her child taken away

But I don't even know her (Call CPS)
What if she's a good mother? (Call CPS)
Okay I'll cry to big brother (Call CPS)
But first I want some clam chowder (Call CPS)
Then I'll e-mail her employer (Call CPS)
This photoshop really showed her (Call CPS)
I'm acting like a creepy voyeur (Call CPS)
She'll be hearing from my lawyer

Lady came in and she sent me a message
Relaying what her husband said
Picture this, yo she even used curse words
Implying my career is dead
How could I forget that I'm a
Washed up e-celebrity
All these years I've been bragging how
These haterz just do not phase me

We need to try to take her parents from this little girl
Here call their local CPS give it a whirl
Don't worry it's so easy to complain, not complex
Just lie and say their babysitter's Clegg, they'll get wrecked
These haterz always drudging up old shit from the past
Comparing TDS Chad to Virgin Sadcast
For once we're going to get one over on a Dickhead
Don't let it go we'll just abuse the system instead

Are you sure I should do this? (Call CPS)
Won't it make me look stupid? (Call CPS)
K what's the number fine I'll call them(Call CPS)
Families are a big problem (Call CPS)
Her reputations will be ruined (Call CPS)
Then I'll get back to my suin' (Call CPS)
Hey by the way, this reminds me(Call CPS)
I used to work in telemarketing

Lady came in and she sent me a message
Relaying what her husband said
Cause I always cross the line with this shit
How could I forget that all my
Conversations end up leaked
All these years I've been bragging how
These haterz just do not phase me

I hope they put her kid in foster care
For the stress that she's caused
I ignore all criticism
It makes no sense at all
Dick should pay me 20 million
For the shit his fan's say
But don't hold my brand accountable
For views held by Clegg

We Didn't Start the Lawsuit

Dick Show

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