The Dick Show Remixes

You Can Get What You Want

Music written, performed and produced by MCMC ©2018

Lyrics written and performed by Kendollinhide ©2018

As heard on episode 96 of The Dick Show (2h34m30s): http://thedickshow.com/episode-96/

Lyrics:

 Sup dog, you wanna go for a ride?
'Sure but one rule, I insist that I drive
'I have some DUIs, I hope you don't mind
 Uh just stop humping my leg, we'll get along fine
'Let's get down to business, so you wanna do some suin'?
 Yes Dick Masterson his reputation I must ruin
 Think you can end his show and all the free speech that he's doin'?
'Sure I'll quote this silly Madcucks joke to prove collusion
 Make sure it looks legit, there's a lot on the line
'I'll dot all my t's and cross all my i's
'Check these court docs, I'm a grammatical savage
 Sue anything that walks, they're just collateral damage
'I'll serve Dick with papers 'til he's soakin' in sweat
 I hope we win soon 'cause I'm as broke as it gets
 File some fancy motions, force the dickheads to be silent
'Well first I have to piss, do you see a fire hydrant?

 Bicycle Boys, yeah we can't be stopped
 We're the ultimate legal dream team, you'll get rocked
 And your socks will get knocked right off
 When you guys realize it's now illegal for you to say "Mad Dix Lost"

 I found a new .gif, that's add it to the log
 They're photoshopping you now, that didn't take long
'Is that supposed to be me?  A drinky-drivey dog?
'Who's pissing on my face?
 They call him Pepe the Frog
'Feels bad men, I'm gonna bite these defendants
 Convince the judge we're right so he tears up the first amendment
'*gasp* Bold move! I think that might just work
 Ugh, I'll do the writing
'And I'll confuse the clerks!

 Bicycle Boys yeah we fit like a glove
'He likes to get cucked
 He drives and gets fucked
 Together we're gonna win, 400 million bucks
 You guys'll get sued if you try to say we suck

 We need to get to New York
'Let's pedal 'til our feet hurt
 Can Jane ride on your lap?
'What's she like?
 She's a real flirt
'Meh, not my type
 She'll make your cucking dreams reality
 There's nothing inherently wrong with a little bestiality
'Uhh, I like my bitches, a little less bitchy
 Why are my britches a little bit itchy?
 Oh well, let's get back to the plan
'First, pay my retainer
 Here's some Vodka
'You're the man!

 Bicycle Boys, yeah we can't be stopped
 We're the ultimate legal dream team, you'll get rocked
 And your socks will get knocked right off
 When you guys realize it's now illegal for you to say "Mad Dix Lost"

 We're gonna win this, I have a good feeling
'Uhhh! I hate Greenberger and his Easter Egg memeing!
 Yeah he's next, let's sue him when we're done
'What for?
 Same as the rest, he's having too much fun

 Bicycle Boys

Bicycle Boys (Kendollinhide original, mastered by Samglaze)

Music written, performed and produced by MCMC ©2018

Lyrics written and performed by MCMC and Kendollinhide ©2018

As heard on episode 108 of The Dick Show (36m52s): thedickshow.com/episode-108/

Big thanks to all involved: Kendollinhide, Samglaze, Asterios, Madcucks, 688as & Hazencruz

Lyrics

Hehe hehe's the master of blasting hard bars faster
Outsmarting and outclassing all past MCs like me
What a bastard, feasting on carcasses of bars that I speaked
On a fat narstee beat made for me by < < < Aciou > > >
He's on a train of inspiration and Ken's speeding away
What a waste of my time going out my way to write lines 
While this guy's got the balls 
To make me cry laughing with two syllables (hehe)
God damn fam this motherfuckers fuckin' me up, 
Thinking I'm shit out of luck, thinking all my stuff sucks,
I must say the way he lays down these premium yucks
Has even got me monthly giving ten bucks!
It's not enough, this guy deserves obscene amounts of green
You must just trust me you're gonna see what I mean
I'm sorry Sean, I've got a new mancrush, I've seen the light
Support his songs at Patreon.com/kendollinhide

Chorus: 

He makes me wanna give up and kill myself
With the lyrics he's got going on in his mind
No wait, I won't give up, I'll just shill myself
To patreon.com/kendollinhide

Ken: You give me too much credit, what I do is quite easy
"Blah blah blah CUCK blah blah blah HEHE"
Can't sing like Lakembra, Strand or Anthony Charles
I can't splice nice like Cuckcux and Mr. Seidel
I can't make a theme song, my body's not a space station
Can't conjure up a beat like Vistas' wizardly creations
I can't play an instrument like Savestate Myroom
"Can't Handle criticism like" "Fuck off Hazencruz"
24 songs and counting, 6 hours each
Let's do some quick accounting, hmm...carry the 3
Minus the equipment, expenses and fees
I'm only losing 4 US dollars a week
Yeah business is hard but I can turn this around
A beef would bring some traffic to my humble Soundcloud
So meet me outside if you hate these damn verses
I'll skin your ass alive and make a couple manpurses

He makes me wanna give up and kill myself
With the lyrics he's got going on in his mind
No wait, I won't give up, I'll just shill myself
To patreon.com/kendollinhide

He makes me wanna give up and kill myself
With the lyrics he's got going on in his mind
No wait, I won't give up, I'll just shill myself
To patreon.com/kendollinhide

Patreon.com/kendollinhide (featuring Kendollinhide, mastered by Samglaze)

The Dick Show Subreddit

What's Your Dad Like?

Sadcast fan of the year, hello my name is Tito
Let me tell you why I'm here, listen to me bro
Spread the word, #dicklies but you can trust me though
People only hate me cause they found out I'm a pedo
Met this little honey online, she wants romancing
No need to wine and dine she says "drive over to my mansion"
Couple hours later knock knock pissing my pants when
Some dude opens the door "Have a seat my name's Chris Hansen"

Yes, yes my name is Tito, Tito, Tito
And I'm super trustworthy bro
Plus I babysit for free yo
Just don't tell my friggin' PO

Keep your busty soccer moms, curves I just don't mess with
Unless they've got some kids at home, they have to be flat-chested
Difference between me and Clegg? You'll never catch me restin'
All day I'm burning Dickheads online, I can't be bested
Malls and pools and parks and schools are where I get arrested
Helicopter parents, wasting all my time invested
Vote it up, bit prob. Why? Oh yeah you guessed it
Obsessed with making sure their children never get molested (get a life!)

Yes my name is Tito, Tito, Tito
My fiancé's quite a dumb hoe
For bringing Tito into her home
With her kid who's not very old

Tito, tito, tito, that's me, yo
I pull my van to the side "Hey kid you want a ride?"
You can be my child bride, hope you're fine with pedophilia
Drive across state lines, we'll pass time with Sadcast Media
Love that guy Joe Biden, he's my all-time favorite senator
Shitpost everyday, I'm the most prolific redditor
Don't like what I type? Write a letter to the editor
All my neighbors say I'm the most horrific predator

Dear Mr. Judge, I don't need incarceration
I'll stay at home and listen to my favorite cuck debatin'
Save your taxes dude, I don't want your psychotherapy
I'll volunteer at youth groups then I'll start a children's charity
My girl's a bad madre, she's not very choosey
She's rather risk her kid than be single for a few weeks
Bendejo's always yapping in her ear like
"You know what? You could just find a fat loser who DOESN'T think your kid's hot"

George thinks I'm good people, loves my TBD contributing
Even though I'm evil and got caught CP distributing
He's knows Tito's me though, plays my voicemails all day
Heheing with Ronny 'cause they love Bad Hombre

Yes yes my name it Tito Tito Tito
Honored guest of Maddox's show
Can't believe the judge sent me home
Should've hanged me 'til my neck broke

I insisted that he didn't (even though the record shows my mind is fucking sick and twisted)
They found my stash of discs with pics of nude newborns and infants
They also got my laptop with vids of kid victims in it
George you have to spin it, just pretend you never knew me
Maddox Militia - army of one - it is my duty
I'll fall on my sword so Madcast can continue thriving
Bad Hombre signing off as I crawl back into hiding

Tito Tito Tito

As heard on:
The Ralph Retort - #Killstream (10/29/18): https://www.bitchute.com/video/s5FZ6CIgmRYN/
The Dick Show - Episode 126 (0:56:00): thedickshow.com/episode-126

Cuckness falls across the land and our latest track is now at hand!
So down that last shot of Soylent and hold your Switch close as the Alphas draw near.  Please enjoy this cover of Michael Jackon's Thriller - the latest in our "Cuck the Eighties" series.

Cover Art: @CalloftheDeep (Twitter)
This track is brought to you by our Big Dick Patreon sponsors (Oct 2018):
🍌 688as
🥒 Antoids
🌽 Dyc3
🍒 No_Nuts
💩 Poo and pee III

Drill-Her

Mambo No. Nazi

What are NPCs? Hmm, how can I explain it?
Herds of blue-haired sheep, easily manipulated
Their kryptonite is comedy, yeah they fuckin' hate it
So late at night at UCB is where they've congregated
Now UCB's a group of geeks and women who won't date 'em
These guys avert their eyes from thighs because it is degrading
"But hey I might get laid if they applaud this chick on stage and
laugh at her generic jokes and join in the complainin'"

"Knock-knock" Who's there? "Trump's a jerk, I hate him!"
"Blahblahblah vagina stuff" How have you not made it?
Hey, uh, I once owned a girl with a vagina
She made my cry, bruh "Did you get her fired?" I tried tuh
She wants a man I guess that's why we didn't work out (heh)
Three years later, still obsessed still so I sperged out...(hey!)
Because this ex left a wedding with my best friend (what?!)
They told me nothing happened but I'm pretty sure they held hands! (NOOOOOOOOO!)
Now they they all call me a C to the U to the C to the K
But UCB sided with me because I might be gay
Dick's so straight and white, let's face it
He must maintain a rape list

[chorus]
Hi I'm an NPC from UCB [x3]
You know what offends me? It's comedy!
Hi I'm an NPC from UCB [x3]
You know what offends me? Dick's comedy!

UCB Dean here, Dick I have to tell you
These jokes are too spicy, so I have to expel you
The Uptight Citizens Brigade just had a vote and
Unanimously decided we just can't take a joke man
Shoo! Vamoose! Skedaddle! You gotta go man!
Some bitch from Conde Naste has fuckin' got me by the gonads
Wait not so fast, one more thing I must ask 
Dick could you remove your profile pic? Yo that'd be so fab
Safespace comedy, we're real trend-setters
Look 'cause of your book we've been bombarded with letters 
"Dick hates women! Kick him out, you'd better!
Sincerely, a totally real journalist, Heather"

At first I wasn't sure 'cause you're usually just chillin'
But hey you sure do play a quite convincing Disney villain
"No one trolls quite like Dick, gives no fucks quite like Dick
No one eats the damned souls of dumb cucks quite like Dick"
Yikes! Delete all videos with Masterson's performances
There's nothing I find more offensive than enormous dicks
"I flaunted my big gorgeous tits once and he looked at me!"
"Oh my god!" "That's not okay!" "It's masculine toxicity!"

[chorus]

You dumb dipshits, job lynch mob kids
Have no business running comedy clubs, shit
One cunt's ticked off
Quick! Let's shoot our dick's off!
Anyone who jokes about the following will get doxxed
Chick politicians, non-Christian religions
Jokes at the expense of those who honor honor killings
*3 hours later* Is there anything we're missing?
Stupid balding cucks who took a vicious legal fisting
Gay bears, wheelchairs, fat guys with red hair
"What about free speech?"
....Don't care!
Please just love me, I'm dead inside :(
Oh I'm Mike, do you like my vocal fryyyyyyy?

Diversity is great but at UCB, it's skin deep
These pricks will get you fired if they do not like your comedy
"No one wants to book me!" Get a job "That's not happenin'!
"Alexa, what's the average salary for LA Activists?"

Chaos Cowboys and Indians, giggling Argentinians 
Piss-soaked Loli pricks and figbatdiggernicks
Liberals, conservatives, ankle-biting furry kids
Yeah we're all degenerates but Dickheads are diverse as shit

Top autists, top gays, post-op vajayjays
Consensual, bisexual, cocaine-fueled fourways
Facebook civil warlords, fedora-tipping redditors
Sorry no Titos allowed, we're not a fan of predators (fuck you Tito)
Otherwise it's all good, come one, come all
Liam Neeson give that penis back to Scott Zoloft (deep cut! https://www.reddit.com/r/TheDickShow/comments/aakvj9)
The NPCs at UCB are lacking creativity
Why can't they see we all just need to hate each other equally?

[If you want me to keep making songs on a regular basis, please consider throwing me a buck at patreon.com/kendollinhide]

NPC from UCB

The Dick Show Album

Lakembra - #DickLies

Lyrics
Wake up, jerk off, Haley's, so hot
Perhaps, today, she'll touch, my cock
Sheets slimed, I call, but she, can't talk
That's fine, regroup, tonight, I'll stalk

I'm a star that's why they're all on my hat
Filtered up like a mandatory mask
So efficient, just watch me multi-task
Driving wagons while I delete your chats

Need new groupies to view me stupidly acting fruity
All you haters are soon to be doomed like all my soup be
All these new fans don't know how to count 'em
Trouble with math, I need a tutor
Who needs degrees when you are me?
Damn man, I'm good with computers!

Yaaa!
I'm gettin' big, I'm gettin' big on Twitch
Yaaa!
I'm a genius and I'm cool as shit
Yaaa!
Like I told that bitch with lovely tits
Yaaa!
I'm gettin' big, I'm gettin' big on Twitch

Here at Madcast Media (media)
We expose pedophilia (pedophilia)
15 grand for a closet huh? (is dere kids inside???)
Got Tito saving money up (One, two, three...)

Howdy pardurs, I'm Oxmad
Awfully awesome and badass
My poor nephew, that sad sack
Has no soup for his nap sack :(
"Is he okay? Is there a way for us to help you buy him some food?"
Why you're in luck, why don't you just, slide me a buck and name my saloon!
I'm not a cuck, I'm just a man, looking fer ladies looking to smooch
Fallin' in love, palm of my hand, that's where they land, I make 'em swooonnnnn!

Yayuh!
I'm gettin' big I'm gettin' big on Twitch
Yayuh!
I'm a coybow and I'm cool as shit
Yayuh!
A handsome feller with a handsome chin
Yayuh!
I'm gettin' big I'm gettin' big on Twitch

E-mails need mailed, stalkers needs stalked
Details compiled on my laptop
Next lawsuit filed strong like Sean's jaw
'Til then guess I'll become a GOD (A Twitch God!)

Hi everybody I'm Bananadox
I think I'm funny and I think you're not
Been a fruit who annoyingly talks...
My whole life, that orange ripped me off!

(mental break + banana joke)

Yaaa!
I'm gettin' big, I'm gettin' big on Twitch
Yaaa!
This banana is a peeling bitch
Yaaa!
I call this banana on a shtick
Yaaa!
I'm gettin' big, I'm gettin' big on Twitch

Hey there fellas, call me Maddilox <3
Maddox sucks and I'm glad he lost
Spank me hard, make me spill my goss
Daddy Dick gets what daddy wants

My wig is pink and emo, I stole the shit from Vito
MY bath water is primo (the cum of 50 people)
A lady's gotta eat. Oh, to supplement jizz me-als
I'm killing bugs like Rico then shittin' liquid like seagulls

My man butt's a damn slut, needs creampied like graham crust
And jammed up by black thugs who get their crammed hands stuck
Wanna help my channel guys? I have one wish
Call me "dirty slut" and watch me get big on Twitch

(parody of Andre The Giant by Prof)

Big On Twitch

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZXyPidbxmnc

Bicycle Boys (Kendollinhide original, mastered by Samglaze)

MCMC

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