An elegiac song about lost love, death, resentment, remorse & regret.

“My grief lies all within,
And these external manners of lament
Are merely shadows to the unseen grief
That swells with silence in the tortured soul.”
― William Shakespeare: from Richard II

“His love for her was so deeply woven with resentment that he could not untangle the two.”
― Kim Edwards, The Memory Keeper's Daughter

“I’m unsure which pain is worse– the shock of what happened or the ache for what never will.”
– Unknown

Lyrics
"Of all the sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these, 'It might have been'."

All of us, we make mistakes
Act a little too late
I’ve done my fair share of all that and more
Many messages yesterday
Saying you’d passed away
Fired up bittersweet memories that cut me to my core

Way back when we were involved
I hurt your feelings, all unresolved
Next time we met, your voice, it froze my heart
You left me crying at the station
My love in vain, so blue and lonesome
I never thought that’d be the way we’d part

I never saw you again
We never talked through your pain
And the anger it seems you couldn’t put away
Did you ever ask after me?
You know, we kept the same company
Like that threesome with your so-called fiancé/fiancée

But you didn’t stop smoking
And boozing and joking
Put on weight and rolled like a drunken sailor's bum
Okay, I did the same
I’m not trying to pin blame
I just think you marched to the wrong beat of your drum

Seems you wasted away
Quite why, they didn’t say
Lousy habits, bad health? How should I know?
I hadn’t seen you in years
But I’ll surely shed tears
For what was lost and now lies in deep sorrow
And the part of me that'll always be . . . hollow

Quote above by John Greenleaf Whittier: American Quaker poet and advocate of the abolition of slavery in the United States.

From One Singer Left to Mourn, track released December 19, 2023
Music: Michael Sellers; Sergio Aguilar
Lyrics: Michael Sellers
Vocals: Michael Sellers
Guitars & bass, keyboards, & musical arrangement: Sergio Aguilar
Drums: Rodrigo Uribe
Sound engineering & production: Sergio Aguilar; Edgr Ibarra
Album Cover photo: Image by Jorge Barahona from Pixabay
Cover design: Michael Sellers; Loretta Sellers Fortuny

One singer Left To Mourn

Lament

Buy at Bandcamp

Lament (UK Songwriting Contest: Star Rating: 5 Commended Entry)

Third part of my father trilogy.
The father trilogy ends with my naïve and youthful attempt, at the age of 23, to break away from my father, who seemed overpowering at the time, and stand on my own two feet: 
To move as far away as possible from my provincial hometown, to throw myself into a Berlin that was completely foreign to me at the time and completely overwhelming. 
My saviour at the time was my oldest friend, who had already been living in Berlin for a few years and took me under his wing like a big brother.     
But even with his help, I soon had to realise that the attempt at a radical inner "patricide" could not succeed in any way. The early imprints he had left on me, the demons I had 'inherited' from him, were all still there. No matter how much I turned my outer life upside down, there was no escape from the central patterns and beliefs that I had learnt from my father in the first 10 years of my life.
In this respect, the song title "The Singular Man" is a "Mission Impossible". It was only three years later, and especially after his early death, that I realised more and more that a lifelong confrontation with my inner father images could lead to a closely linked dialectic:
An ever deeper and visibly more reconciliatory bond with my father and, at the same time, an ever-increasing self-realisation    
 
The Singular Man  (Lyrics in English)

Run through streets crooked and skewed 
The bridges criss-cross

All around me the stink of the city
An army of people everywhere

Turn in somewhere now
Fall in at your door

You are alone
Your corridor infinitely long
Your walls high and wide 
Your front door broad and welcoming

You push me through the corridor now 
At the windows the siren-
song

I get scared and bang 
Am I still
Your catch of fish
Your silhouette
That only plays at being free

And yet I have escaped you 
Escaped!

I take off all hinges
Hang out the windows
Make me a magic wand
Grey Berlin becomes a colourful bouquet for me 

Ride on a peacock wheel
Take a foam spring bath in the Spree

All light 
Time thrown into the air

Pain-free in a glittering dress
An ecstatic feeling of life

But something pushes back
Under the carpet lies the hanging rope
The spider's web is
Still there
The old danger

I only know about her now 
Keep me out of her more 

Oh man, the singular man
Man Oh man, the singular man
Man Oh man, the singular man
Man Oh man, the singular man


Der Singuläre Mann (Deutscher Originaltext)

Lauf’ durch Straßen krumm und schief, 
Die Brücken kreuz und quer

Um mich herum der Großstadtmief
Überall ein Menschen-Heer

Bieg' irgendwo jetzt ein
Fall’ bei Dir zur Tür herein

Du bist allein
Dein  Flur unendlich lang
Deine Wände hoch und weit 
Deine Eingangstür willkommens-breit

Schiebst mich jetzt durch den Gang 
An den Fenstern der Sirenen-
Gesang

Mir wird Angst und Bang 
Bin ich immer noch
Dein Fischfang
Dein Schattenbild
Das das Freisein nur spielt

Und doch bin ich Dir entflohen 
Entflohen!

Lege alle Scharniere ab
Häng' die Fenster aus
Bastle mir einen Zauberstab
Grau-Berlin wird mir zum bunten Strauß 

Fahr auf nem‘ Pfauenrad
Nehm‘ in der Spree ein Schaum-Frühlingsbad

Alles leicht 
In die Luft geworfene Zeit

Schmerzbefreit im Glitzerkleid
Ein rauschhaftes Lebensgefühl

Doch etwas drängt zurück
Unterm Teppich liegt der Häng‘-Dich-Strick
Das Spinnennetz ist
Immer noch da
Die alte Gefahr

Kenn‘ mich jetzt nur mit ihr aus 
Halt mich mehr aus ihr raus 

Oh Mann, der Singuläre Mann
Mann Oh Mann, der Singuläre Mann
Mann Oh Mann, der Singuläre Mann
Mann Oh Mann, der Singuläre Mann

Der Singulare Mann (The Singular Man)

Der Singuläre Mann (The Singular Man)

Help!

Introduction in English

Sometimes I have to smile a little when I think about the fact that John Lennon was only 24 years old when he wrote these lyrics. 
He certainly didn't know about the cries for help that come with ageing from 60 plus. The experience of gradual physical decline and the increasing dependence on the support of other people. The gradual loss of autonomy, which is so important for one's own dignity. And the subliminal threat of retirement and nursing homes approaching, which then temporarily pulls you out of your increasing mental derangement by singing old Beatles songs.
But apart from that, he certainly already knew a lot about the hardships of being different, of not belonging; the longing to experience something like love in the worldwide recognition and at the same time having to suffocate and drown in this wave of adoration. 
In the pop era of the time, his desperate cry for help was reduced to a tolerable two minutes
I turned it into a leisurely three-minute waltz. And tried to express my increasing need for help in certain areas of life in different ways: shy and fragile, desperate and humble, angry and almost accusatory. 
And towards the end, I find myself in an almost otherworldly limbo in which a part of me comes to peace with the cry for help and finds its own new dignity in it.

Einführung auf Deutsch
Manchmal muß ich ein wenig schmunzeln, wenn ich daran denke, dass John Lennon erst 24 Jahre alt war, als er diesen Songtext schrieb. 
Da wusste er mit Sicherheit noch nichts von den Hilferufen, die mit dem Älterwerden ab 60 plus einhergehen. Die Erfahrung des allmählichen körperlichen Zerfalls und die sich zunehmend anschleichende Angewiesenheit auf die Unterstützung von anderen Menschen. Der allmähliche Verlust von Autonomie, der für die eigene Würde so wichtig ist. Und das unterschwellig drohende Herannahen von Senioren- und Pflegeheimen, die einem dann mit dem Singen von alten Beatles-Songs vorübergehend aus der zunehmenden geistigen Umnachtung herausreißen.
Aber abgesehen davon wußte er sicher schon viel von den Nöten des Andersseins, des nicht dazu gehörens; der Sehnsucht, in der weltweiten Anerkennung so etwas wie Liebe zu erfahren und zugleich in dieser Verehrungswelle geradezu ersticken und ertrinken zu müssen. 
In der damaligen Pop-Zeit wurde sein verzweifelter Hilferuf auf allseits erträgliche gut zwei Minuten eingedampft.
Ich habe daraus einen gut dreiminütigen gemächlichen Walzer gemacht. Und dabei versucht, meine in gewissen Lebensbereichen zunehmende Hilfsbedürftigkeit auf verschiedene Weise auszudrücken: Scheu und zerbrechlich, verzweifelt und demütig, wütend und beinahe anklagend. 
Und zum Ende hin befinde ich mich in einer fast schon jenseitigen Zwischenwelt, in der ein Teil in mir mit dem Hilferuf in Frieden kommt und darin eine eigene neue Würde findet.

Help!

Help! (Lennon/Mccartney)

Break the Silence: 

You lose your way
You find a way 
You curse the day 
The years of waste 

But you can’t break the silence 
And it breaks your heart Jen
Use love not violence 
Just don’t let it win

You lose your head 
The things you said 
The whispered facts 
Through the walls - the cracks

Break the Silence

Just messing around today. Headphones please.

BEYOND THE RULES

A new original song.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cc3LUESlVoY
Any visits to my YouTube video will be much appreciated .....
Thanks
Richard :)

Storm Light

This one is the most honest I've ever been with you all.
This is not a character,this is me. If you have depression,you are not alone. Dedicated to Chris Cornell. My hero.

Death

"Hunk of Junk" has been written in a digital 4-track collaboration in February 2024. I started with the guitar track, SPH recorded the organ, Cheslain lyrics and vocals and Mt. Mélodie added drum track and mixed everything. When I started this song, I had no idea how it would turn out, and I am very grateful for the additions and the final mixdown. 

Nadine de Macedo: guitars
SPH: organ
Cheslain: vocals, lyrics
Mt. Mélodie: programming, production

Cover design: Nadine de Macedo
Photography: Travelerchitect / Pexels

Where to find us:
https://nadinedemacedo.bandcamp.com
https://soundcloud.com/sphk
https://mtmelodie.bandcamp.com

==== LYRICS ====

Been driving forever 
On this endless highway 
Cities gone past 
Towns left behind 

Crossed over the horizon 
So many times, yeah 
Scenery flying by the window 

My hands are wet on the wheel 
My foot is cramping on the pedal 
My eyes are weary from staring 
At the cone of my headlights 

It's been scorching hot 
It's been freezing cold 
I've had the sun in my eyes 
And the moon shine on my hood 

Will I ever get home? 
Will this road ever end? 
Purgatory of tarmac 
I feel like I've done my time 

My hands are wet on the wheel 
My foot is cramping on the pedal 
My eyes are weary from staring 
At the cone of my headlights 

Hunk of junk don't you fail me now 
Hunk of junk don't you fail me now 
Hunk of junk don't you fail me now 
Hunk of junk don't you fail me now 

Miles gone, miles left to go 
Miles gone, miles left to go 
Miles gone, miles left to go 
Miles gone, miles left to go 

My hands are wet on the wheel 
My foot is cramping on the pedal 
My eyes are weary from staring 
At the cone of my headlights 

Hunk of junk don't fail me now

Hunk of Junk (Don't Fail Me Now)

Check out my latest producer focused mix. Featuring the sounds of my good friend Anthony Finch, better known as SoulTec. The mix features so many great tracks from his extensive back catalogue and a number of recent exclusives and collaborations.

I hope you enjoy the jazz, funk infused sounds of SoulTec. 👍🏻

ChRiStAL - Producer Mixup (SoulTec)

Video: Any views, likes and subs very gratefully received! :)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jVs0xQeBQJA
A new bossa nova tune for a summer that's slipping away too fast .......

Ordinary Daydreams

The song's title should be enough to explain what this song is about, concerning those wrecking balls that swing through our lives occasionally.

I miss you
Though guess I’ll see you in my sleep
Although I know for sure
This hole inside
Will never feel right
I miss you
Hold out my hands
Can’t see you
I don’t understand
Because I feel you
Just as I fall
And when I need you
I always call

I still sing “Happy Birthday to you”
Even though I lost you
“Happy Birthday dear… dear… dear…” Oh dear!
Happy birthday to you
I wish you could hear me too
“Happy Birthday dear… dear… dear…” Oh dear!

I miss you
Can barely stand up on my feet
And yes I know the score
Learned this before
Not what I’m looking for
Another wrecking on the shore
Can’t take any more!
I miss you
Please take my hand!
I don’t understand
How this came to be
You slipped free
When I thought you needed me

And I’d sing “Happy Birthday to you”
Year’s before I lost you
“Happy Birthday dear… dear… dear…” Oh dear!
“Happy birthday to you”
Did you hear me love you
“Happy Birthday dear… dear… dear…” Oh dear!

(Happy Birthday to You... outro, written by Patty Hill, played by me)

Memorial

Please come and find me here on Bandcamp if you like the sound of anything I've created and uploaded here! 

https://dirkdiamond.bandcamp.com/album/human

I've cancelled my Soundcloud subscription, doesn't work for me anymore, meaning I've had to delete a ton of stuff, and now I'm aiming to ensure I've got only a few golden previews of music here, signposting to other listening avenues for anyone willing to take a look!

Memorial

Dirk Diamond

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