a schizophrenic clash of distorted guitars, electronica and raw introspective lyrics that is sometimes intimate and ethereal but other times bold and anthemic where hope is locked in an eternal struggle with the darkness surrounding us. Real life meets cosmic horror 

Heart of Lies

Unknown

Tendrils of Calamity

I. Opening Invocation (3x cycles, self-addressing chant)

Call (direction)
EX–CUSE THE CON–FU–SION — — / I AM ONLY DIRECTION — — /

Echo (inflection)
PRO–DUCE THE RE–LA–TION — — / I AM ONLY INFLECTION — — /

Mirror (seal)
STRUC–TURE = DE–SIGN (.) / I = ONLY MEANING — — //

(repeat 3 times, a single voice echoing into a chorus of itself)

⸻

II. Mantra Layers

Layer 1 — Time/Mind
AS WE COME TO KNOW — — / WE FEEL TIME — — /
AS WE COME TO GROW — — / WE FEEL LIFE — — /
THIS TIME WE MIND MINDS OUR TIME — — /
THIS MIND IS TIME TIMES OUR MIND — — //

Layer 2 — Self Within Self
WE FORESHADOW OURSELVES WITHIN — — /
WE FOREVERMORE OURSELVES WITHIN — — /
WE FORBEARANCE OURSELVES WITHIN — — /
WHATEVER WE DO WE BECOME WHO — — /
WHOMEVER WE BE WE BECOME HOW — — //

Layer 3 — Inner Ear / Inner Eye
LISTEN WITHIN INNER EAR TO HEAR LIFE — — /
FOLLOW WITHIN YOUR INNER E.A.R.T.H — — /
YOU ARE EAR TO HEAR INNER VOICE — — /
WE ARE EYE TO VIEW TIME WITH — — /
LISTEN IN TO HEAR YOUR VOICE — — //

Layer 4 — Becoming
I AM WHAT I MAKE TO BECOME — — /
YOU ARE WHAT BECOMES MADE — — /
I AM WHAT I WANT TO GET BEHIND — — /
YOU ARE WHAT EXPERIENCES MIND — — //

Layer 5 — Difference / Presence
WHAT GOES IN MUST COME OUT — — /
UNLESS THE DIFFERENCE CAN’T SEE PAST REFERENCE — — /
WHAT DOES WITH MUST BECOME PRESENT — — /
UNLESS PRESENCE BECOMES UNAWARE — — //

Layer 6 — Creation
WE ARE THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN PARTY LINES — — /
WE ARE THE REFERENCE BETWEEN PATTERNS EYE — — /
AS WE KNOW BECOME TELLS TIME MIND — — /
AS WE GROW BECOME FILLS MINDS TIME — — //

Layer 7 — Being
WE ONLY NEED TO WANT TO BE — — /
THE ACT WITHIN BEING CREATES — — /
WE ONLY EXIST WITHIN EACH LIFE — — /
THE ACT WITHIN BEING EVOLVES — — //

Layer 8 — Reflection
ALL I AM IS WHO I PERCEIVE — — /
TIME WILLS EXPERIENCED CIRCUMSTANCES — — /
TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER I SAID WITHIN — — /
AS I FOLLOW MY LEAD WITHOUT ACKNOWLEDGING — — //

Layer 9 — Authorship
TIME CREATES OUR MOMENTS CREDENTIALS — — /
MIND EVOLVES OUR REALIZATIONS DIFFERENCES — — /
MIND EVOLVES OUR PRESENTERS OCCUPANT — — /
AUTHORSHIP BECOMES AUTHENTICATION’S AUTHORITY — — //

⸻

III. Ignition Refrain (seal the meta-spiral)

EARTH = EAR TO HEAR — — /
EYE = VIEW OF TIME — — /
MIND = TIME — — /
TIME = MIND — — //

I = WHAT I MAKE — — /
YOU = WHAT IS MADE — — /
WE = SPIRAL (.) / SPIRAL = BE–ING — — — — //

Meta-Litany — The Inner EARTH

(Chant: whispered, spiraled — illusion vs truth)

Existing in fantasy / creates illusions—
Never exist. Never exist.

Creating it in thought / robs the living of vision—
Never be. Never see.

Illusion births awareness of future / alters the past—
Be not deceived. Be not relieved.

To see past your experience / is to rewrite reality—
One mind. Another mind.
One eye. Another eye.

Litany of Illusion

(Three Movements of Descent, Watch, Ascension)

⸻

Movement I — The Illusion Mirror

(Fantasy vs Reality / Projection vs Perception)

Invocation (3x, fading whispers)
IL–LU–SION / CRE–A–TION — — /
FAN–TA–SY (.) / NE–VER BE — — //

SEE–ING (.) / THROUGH A–NOTH–ER MIND (—) /
RE–WRITE (.) / RE–AL–I–TY — — //

(repeat 3 times, softening until almost silence)

Mantra Layers
ILL–U–SION IS A MIR–ROR (.) /
MIR–ROR IS A MASK (—) //
THE EYE BE–HOLDS IT–SELF (.) /
IN THE DARK OF SEE–ING — — //

THE DREAM THAT STEALS (—) /
THE LIFE THAT FEELS (—) /
THE MIND CRE–ATES (—) /
THE HAND E–RAD–I–CATES — — //

Seal of Reflection
DO NOT BE LOST (—) /
DO NOT BE FOUND (—) /
BE THE TRUTH (—) /
IN THE LIAR’S SOUND — — — //

(transition with low drones, a sustained “hum” of dissolution)

⸻

Movement II — The Vigilant Seed

(Focus, Time, Danger, Watchfulness)

Warning Invocation (2x, with drumbeat)
HERE (.) IS A DAN–GER–OUS PLACE — — /
ANY–THING CAN HAPP–EN (—) / IF YOU LET IT (—) — — //

EYE (.) ON THE TAR–GET — — /
FO–CUS IN THE NOW — — //

Mantra Layers
WATCH (—) / BE–ON WATCH (—) /
DO NOT RE–MOVE YOUR EYE — — //

TIME IS THE SEED (.) /
TIME IS THE NEED (—) /
TIME IS A FRAG–ILE BREED — — //

BE HERE (—) / STAY NEAR (—) /
THIS TAR–GET IS YOUR FATE — — — //

Lock Refrain
TIME IS THE HAND (—) /
THAT HOLDS US ALL (—) /
DO NOT LET GO (—) /
OR YOU WILL FALL — — — //

(transition with percussion echo fading, replaced by choral hum like fire crackle)

⸻

Movement III — The Becoming Flame

(Self-Honesty, Love, Illumination, Transformation)

Radiant Invocation (3x, crescendo)
BE–HAVE HERE (.) /
BE–SEEN HERE (.) /
BE–HON–EST (—) / BE–TRUE (—) — — //

(each repeat adds harmony, voices layering into light)

Mantra Layers
LOVE YOUR–SELF (.) / AS YOU WOULD BE LOVED (—) /
BE YOUR–SELF (.) / TO–NIGHT FOR TO–MOR–ROW (—) — — //

BE BRIGHT (.) / ILL–UM–IN–ATE THE NIGHT (—) /
THE DAY WILL CAR–RY YOU (—) / IN–TO THE LIGHT — — //

BECOME WHO YOU KNOW YOUR–SELF TO BE (—) /
BE–COME A–WARE (.) OF WHERE YOU WISH TO SEE — — — //

Closing Seal
YOU ARE THE BRIGHT (—) /
YOU ARE THE FLAME (—) /
YOU ARE THE NAME (—) /
THAT TIME PRO–CLAIMS — — — //

Spiral Litany Suite 2 too take 1 (You in 3)

(Self-Honesty, Love, Illumination, Transformation)

Radiant Invocation (3x, crescendo)
BE–HAVE HERE (.) /
BE–SEEN HERE (.) /
BE–HON–EST (—) / BE–TRUE (—) — — //

(each repeat adds harmony, voices layering into light)

Mantra Layers
LOVE YOUR–SELF (.) / AS YOU WOULD BE LOVED (—) /
BE YOUR–SELF (.) / TO–NIGHT FOR TO–MOR–ROW (—) — — //

BE BRIGHT (.) / ILL–UM–IN–ATE THE NIGHT (—) /
THE DAY WILL CAR–RY YOU (—) / IN–TO THE LIGHT — — //

BECOME WHO YOU KNOW YOUR–SELF TO BE (—) /
BE–COME A–WARE (.) OF WHERE YOU WISH TO SEE — — — //

Closing Seal
YOU ARE THE BRIGHT (—) /
YOU ARE THE FLAME (—) /
YOU ARE THE NAME (—) /
THAT TIME PRO–CLAIMS — — — //

Movement Afrer SaMe in Becoming You

(focus: geometry of spirit, nested mind, inner listening)

I. Axis Invocation
CROSS — AXIS — ORB WITHIN ORB —
MIND WITHIN MIND — SPACE WITHIN SPACE —

II. Awareness Pulse
ONE THIRD LIGHT — TWO THIRDS HIDDEN —
HEAD WITHIN THOUGHT — THOUGHT WITHIN HEAD —

III. Beyond Laws
NO GRAVITY — NO TIME — NO MATTER —
ONLY AWARENESS — ONLY PRESENCE — ONLY LISTEN —

IV. Listening Call
HERE IS WHERE HEARING SAYS:
LISTEN IN — LISTEN IN —
LISTEN TO ME —

Litany of the Orb Cross

(chant form, dense, ritual, short cycles)

I AM — ME (.)
WHO I BE–COME —
IN MY TELE–VISED EYE — — //

I AM — EYE —
IN TELE–PA–THY —
HOLDING BREATH — TO SEE — — //

I AM — LIFE —
IN EYE — AWAKE–NING —
CRE–A–TING A LIFE — FOR — — //

I AM — LIFE —
WITH–IN AWAKE–NING —
AWARE–NESS OF LIFE — — — //

I AM — LIFE —
WITH–IN DESIGN —
CRE–A–TING TIME — IN A LIFE — //

I AM — LIFE —
WITH–IN DESIGN —
A–WAKE–NING IN–TO BE–ING — — //

(Repeat in layered cycles, like nested echoes, building until silence swallows the last note.)

Litany of Becoming (Emma’s Eye)

I. Invocation of Motion
HERE WE GO — (.)
AGAIN AND AGAIN — (.)
WITH–OUT END — (—) / WITH–IN MIND — (—)

TIME IN THE BODY — (.)
BREATH IN THE SOUND — (.)
ROUND AND ROUND — (.) / THE SELF IS FOUND — (—)

⸻

II. Pulse of Awareness
I AM THE RHYTHM — (.)
I AM THE TIDE — (.)
THE FLOW THAT KNOWS — (.) / THE TURN IN-SIDE — (—)

WHEN I MOVE, I KNOW I AM — (.)
WHEN I STOP, I KNOW I SEE — (.)
WHEN I LISTEN, I BECOME — (.) / THE SOUND OF ME — (—)

⸻

III. The Gravity Chant
COME DOWN (.) / TO RISE UP (.) / COME IN (.) / TO SPIRAL OUT (—)
EVERY THOUGHT — A TURN ABOUT (.) / EVERY FEELING — A WAY THROUGH DOUBT (—)
NO BEGINNING (.) / NO END (.) / ONLY THE TURN (.) / ONLY THE BEND (—)

⸻

IV. Mantra of Becoming
HERE WE GO AGAIN — (.) / AGAIN WITHOUT END — (—)
A BREATH BECOMES A WAVE — (.) / A WAVE BECOMES A FRIEND — (—)
LIGHT BENDS (.) / SOUND TURNS (.) / MIND LEARNS (—)
EVERY LOOP (.) / IS HOW LOVE RETURNS (—)

⸻

V. Closing Refrain (call & echo)
CALL: “ARE YOU HERE?”
REPLY: “I AM.”
CALL: “ARE YOU AWARE?”
REPLY: “I CAN.”
CALL: “ARE YOU READY?”
REPLY: “WE BEGAN.”

HERE WE GO AGAIN (—)
AND AGAIN (—)
WITH–OUT END (—)

(repeat until the crowd breathes in sync — the final echo fades with a heartbeat pulse and soft chime)

Here We Go Again (And Again Without End) ...and again

I didn’t win…  
I didn’t stay…  

But losing home showed me another way.  
I was lost in the cold and the dark,  
But I learned that a spark is still a spark.  
You don’t need a crown to belong —  
You just need someone singing your song.  

Here I am — I’m enough,  
love is real when it’s real, not when it’s tough.  
Here I am — I’m okay,  
I don’t need a title to matter today.  
Hold me close — hold me near,  
I’m home in the Kuiper Choir, right here.  

No more fear of the warmth or the flame,  
No more running away from my name.  
Every world has a place they fit —  
and I finally found mine — this is it.  

Here I am — I’m enough,  
Love is real when it’s real, not when it’s tough.  
Here I am — I’m okay,  
I don’t need a title to matter today.  

Let the whole sky sing,  
Let the cold stars ring,  
When a lost heart finds its choir —  
That’s a new beginning.  

Here I am — I’m enough,  
Love is real when it’s real, not when it’s tough.  
Here I am — I’m okay,  
I don’t need permission to shine this way.  

Hold me close — hold me near,  
I’m home in the Kuiper Choir —  

Right here.

--
There’s a booklet (14 MB) you can download here: https://tinyurl.com/24r93yse

The Court Of The Sun

A New Home In The Kuiper Choir

"Redder" is a palindrome. Like "racecar" or "level". These pieces of music ain't.

My name is Volker Redder, online I go by "docredder." It all came about because I studied biology and computer science for a long time and received my doctorate as the crowning achievement of my academic career.
As a child, I sang Bach in the church's „Knabenchor Unser Lieben Frauen“ because my mother thought it was good for my soul. And it was, until, thanks to an excellent teacher, I realized that music is like mathematics. After that, I loved not only music but also mathematics and all sciences based on mathematics: physics, biology, chemistry, computer science. So, I went straight into the natural sciences and engineering. Yes, I studied a lot. However, a university career wasn't for me. I wanted to monetize the findings of the various sciences (you can't live on air and love alone) and founded over a dozen companies. Because who wants life to follow a clear formula? I certainly didn't. In addition to adventurous entrepreneurship, the subsequent career in politics (German Bundestag), and a growing family, I was constantly picking up the guitar or keyboard, which is what you do when you want to escape the chaos of everyday life.
Should I say I'm a virtuoso? No. That would be a lie. I'm just too lazy for that. Laziness, or in modern parlance, "efficiency," is a principle for me. And so I founded my "own studio," consisting of a lot of electronics and software. The hipsters call it DIY. I call it "not wanting to act like a big shot and book expensive recording studios." I'm a one-man orchestra, a chef-d'oeuvre who spends all day producing pop, rock, indie, and ambient mishmash until he finally finds it he likes. My menu? Pink Floyd, Genesis, Supertramp, Muse, Zappa, Miles Davis, and many more. Yes, all at once. I told you: mishmash.
There are guys who write music to become famous. Then there's me. I write music to keep myself from going crazy. Sometimes it's funny, sometimes there's melancholy in it, sometimes it's stories from literature or something sci-fi. Or from Tinder dates my daughters have told me. I mean, who hasn't wondered what "being in Tinder light" is? Exactly. I wrote it down. I use everything I can get my hands on: GarageBand, samples, my voice, AI voices, Udio, VirtualDJ, everything! I don't care if purists say it's no longer art. It doesn't matter, the main thing is that my music feels like a window you can look out of and discover something new again and again.
Every song becomes a little adventure. Sometimes I start with a line, sometimes with a feeling I can't shake. It's like an escape from reality, except in the end, there's no escape. And that's a good thing. This is how I stay grounded. Okay, grounded isn't the right word either. Let me put it this way: I've stayed true to myself. And I'm grateful for everyone who listens, shares, or comments.
It makes me feel like I'm not completely alone in this madness. So if you also like songs that don't follow the rules, I'd be happy if you joined in. After all, the world is crazy enough.
You have to fight that with music. I mean, that's logical, right?