At the party with Alan resnick, drinking all your shampoo 
Taking res hits out a piece of bamboos 

On the toilet trying to move this log quick then have a Fentanyl treat
I lived with Dog Dick back on Bentalou street

Don’t test my crew cause We got Gendarmes
It’s Dr. Slimer officially sponsored by Ciat Lonbarde 

At the discord rap battle laughing at these men who oppose me
Just a buncha white boys typing 🥷 emojis
I’m not offended but blow me

Asking how I been yeah I been alright 
My life a movie Robin Hood men in tights 
Track confusing like a puzzle box yeah I’m a cenobite


My slang might be dated but I’m growing top chronic
irony more layers than a photoshop project

Penis pussy fucking yeah I know all my sex words
From Baltimore to Portland to the upstate NY exurbs 

3 card Monty where’d the ball go
Kick it like Ronaldo 
Roll up on a house like Viggo for Hidalgo
Dr zhivago
Chicago

Pollinating Lima beans spiders make it like a minefield 
Ima ima ima bee, call me Jerry Seinfield

Subway Jersey Mikes Jimmie John’s and Blimpie
Beard hairs on my sandwhich macoscopic lens: Ren and Stimpy

She Got the damn skeet out my man meat like canned heat

Notes App Slop Drop

Free, free  free, free Gaza
Free, free, free, Gaza
Free, free, free Gaza
Yeah you know the score I confess it
I put the bomb on the floor of the Knesset
Free,  Free, Free

A child stares at the rubble where her entire hood died
Draft Kings odds in trouble regarding who’s the fucking good guys
I’m bettin’ not you, Netanyahu 
What if someone heckin’ shot you?
In a video game (nah, for real, you’re shitty and lame)
Yeah it’s your last days, hope someone’s got a plot for killing ya
If there’s gotta be mass graves, than yo ass oughta be the one to fill it up 
Turn your hood to glass, see how you fuckin like it ho 
Pancake your ass like a truck against a bicycle
I might be slow, but it don’t seem complicated, they bombin hospital patients, it’s simple why they fighting bro
What you think they’ll tear them walls down if we all politely go and write them notes?
With all due respect, how ‘bout you fuckin bite me hoe?
No one supports you clowns, we all united bro
Red, black, yellow, brown, even all the Wipipo
Hope you test drive a Tesla and it send you up in a lake
I’m a give you a present like Kendrick done give to Drake AAAHH

WOP! WOP! WOP! WOP! Slimer fuck ‘em up
They not like us
They not like us

You got little fucking kids with liver disease
From poison in the water makes me shiver to see
I hope they launch every arrow in the quiver at thee
Liberation from river to sea
They put ‘em all in camps and purge them up their rights
Then rain hell from above, while sipping bourbon on clear nights
Laughing while mommas is singing dirges for their tikes 
Because there’s no such thing as a surgical airstrike
Dumb motherfuckers 
Sending tanks in without infantry
IDF so smart like NPCs, yeah
Now there’s an empty spot up in a krav maga dojo
Thanks to Arab Solid Snake strapped up with a GoPro 
My favorite films of all time - up there with Kurosawa 
Are where fighters poppin’ out of tunnels and mercin’ Merkavas
I hope I see a new one every day, Inshallah 
And laugh when I see how they spin it in hasbara
Call 50 thousand close friends and get to the plaza
This shit needs to stop today, Free Gaza!

Genocide in Rafah, this shit dastardly
Ongoing Nakba, look to the past and see
It’s been 76 years of catastrophe
Developed technological mastery
To make weapons that’ll stop your diastole
Fucking nasty freaks think they Master Chief
No solace from the pastor, he
Hopin’ Armageddon comin’ faster G
1948, 80 percent forced from their homes
A dozen reported rapes, and that’s just what is known 
Villages burned to the ground and thousands fucking slaughtered
Pillagers taking what found, leaving moms without they daughters 
Then they chopped up them borders like a DJ Screw track
Takin’ land by dimes and quarters ‘til that shit blew back 
First Intifada I was too young to remember 
The second one popped off in the month of September 
2000, you rousin’ the call? Never fuckin’ surrender!
When I see that blue and white I swipe left on Tinder 
Take back the block, burn down them towers kids
Fighting tanks with rocks, we know who the cowards is
Teenage captain is busy, starin’ at Drizzy’s glizzy, they seem to be dizzy
I’d love to see ‘em square up without a BMG .50

76 Years of Catastrophe

The concept of species 
Reduced to the inverse of concentration 
Of mercury in the feces 
Which is the reciprocal of the frame rate 
Of the holy animation 
It comes to the factorial of all imaginary numbers 
An unedited editorial composed ‘neath clouds of slumber 
A dichotomous key which holds the clues to all salvation 
And this key fits into a door whose frame bears no relation 
To the metals or the alloys or carbon structures of this world
Its germ within the seed is instantly unfurled 
And this flag which wraps the present is but the membrane of a cell 
Whose degranulation forms a colloid joining space time in a gel
And in this gel, consciousness crystallizes beneath such pressure forms a jewel 
And this jewel within your forehead, receives a message from your tail 
And the tale I have to tell has been destined to fail 
It’s the failure of false logic and the hunger of the lunch line 
The futility of language to reveal the holy punchline 
You can’t hear it in your world ears no vibration in the cochlea 
But you’ll laugh until you vomit when you hear the God head poking ya

Sleepy Joe up on the mic I’ll teach you a lesson Jack
As my mind fades away, past merging with the present, black
Curtain is descending, I’m pretending feeling hesitant
I say it with my chest in fact 
I’m guessin’ that you didn’t know God dwells within a tesseract
Some angels carry harps some pack a Smith and Wesson gat
It’s jes the facts 
Every Lord wish that he had the faith that the peasant has
Every moment is a blessin’ that 
That make my face look I’m the fuckin Cheshire Cat 

The concept of species 
Reduced to the inverse of concentration 
Of mercury in the feces 
Which is the reciprocal of the frame rate 
Of the holy animation 
It comes to the factorial of all imaginary numbers 
An unedited editorial composed ‘neath clouds of slumber 
A dichotomous key which holds the clues to all salvation 
And this key opens a door whose frame bears no relation 
To the metals or the alloys or carbon structures of this world
Its germ within the seed is instantly unfurled 
And this flag which wraps the present is but the membrane of a cell 
Whose degranulation forms a colloid joining space time in a gel
And in this gel, consciousness crystallizes beneath such pressure forms a jewel 
And this jewel within your forehead, receives a message from your tail 
And the tale I have to tell has been destined to fail 
It’s the failure of false logic and the hunger of the lunch line 
The futility of language to reveal the holy punchline 
You can’t hear it in your world ears no vibration in the cochlea 
But you’ll laugh until you vomit when you hear the God head poking ya

The Punchline

Yeah they called me a joke
They said it’s just a meme rap
Now all of them broke
Say, “Cuz, I didn’t mean that”

Bitch ghost me I still get phantom vagina
I’m like Tim Walz takin’ dancers to China

You might find me on stage 
Boasting 'bout my game
Or picking them mushrooms up in the coastal mountain range 

I shanked the bailiff and I told the judge to pass on it
My life a movie - They Live - and I always keep the glasses on
Horny like a mastodon
Corn whiskey I get plastered on it

I’m squeezing triggers like pew pew
Off that purp like Mewtwo 
But first a quick word from our good friends at BlueChew
Thank you for sponsoring Dr. Slimer!

I know some of y’all listening lookin for sick thrills
Mushroom tips glistening thanks to them dick pills
But you’re so tired of doctor visits and trick bills 
I got a solution that’ll give you a thick dills
It’s oh so convenient and the price is not prohibitive 
Just a 10 minute zoom call with a licensed physician, kid 
You need performance in the sack it can’t be beat
Allow two weeks to deliver, and the packaging’s discrete
Sex the spice of life it’s like the toppings on the pizza 
So chew it and do it keep in poppin' them Lavirtra

Yeah they called me a joke
They said it’s just a meme rap
Now all of them broke
Say, “Cuz, I didn’t mean that”

Called me a joke
Said it’s just a meme rap
All of them broke
Say, “Cuz, I didn’t mean that”

I shanked the bailiff and I told the judge to pass on it
My life a movie - They Live - and I always keep the glasses on
You know I keep the glasses on
I’ll always keep the glasses on

Why did Donkey move pounds and powder?
Why did Shrek knock down the towers?

I charmed the pants off this barista and now I’m stuffin’ this muffin wench
Like it’s nothin cuz it’s nuthin' binch

Walked in on a cake sitting - oops wrong room yo 
Weed, summer, sluts - Bong Joon-ho
She suckin' it like a parasite, pair a white
Balls on her chin, this dolls got a grin
I really luh the way she gets all of it in

Your girl give good face, glad that I ran in to her
Got a trick like a snake where she unhinge her mandibulars

Pussy wet like Odo, bustin
Trippin off of Robitussin

Asked my girl for a handie really quick
She wrapped a Nerds Rope round my shit now I got candy on my dick
E’ry time I nut I cough man, Kaufman, Andy in this bitch 

I asked my girl for a handie really quick
She wrapped a Nerds Rope round my shit now I got candy on my dick
E’ry time I nut I cough man, Kaufman, Andy in this bitch 

Andy in this bitch, what?

Andy in this bitch, wha?

Andy in this bitch

Andy in this

Every time I nut I cough man

No Joke

I’m riding fixed gear chief with a toe strap
I’m in 6 beers deep where them hoes at?
Riding fixed gear chief with a toe strap
I’m in 6 beers deep where them hoes at?

Yeah I smoked DMT became a primal mantis being
Snuff film fetish, that’s my Final Fantasy
Riding chocobos through the Poconos
Smokin' hoes at Chuck E. Cheese who don’t even know where the token goes
Leaving ‘em with a broken nose 
Stacking cash is Child’s Play, I’m making Chucky cheese
Mothafucky please, these mommies got double Ds
and the way that ass bounce you’d think they got rubber knees
and if the kids saw what they’d all panic and vomit
They better keep on watching all them animatronics
and I got more cheese than that man who’s wit Gromit
Car broke down, stranded at the Sonic once again 
Throw another back a little tonic with the gin
Back from the toilet - little vomit on the chin
Felt a little bit groggy, yeah it’s post nap
Fiddle with them knobs making all ya toes tap
Rub my little lamp cause my soul’s trapped
Never ever hang it up, but if I did that’s the GOAT rack 
Hats subdivide the beat I called it ghost trap 
Bouncing off the walls like a dosed cat
Sounds like woodpecker in a dryer - Homie post that 

I’m riding fixed gear chief with a toe strap
I’m in 6 beers deep where them hoes at?
Riding fixed gear chief with a toe strap
I’m in 6 beers deep where the hoes at?

I got a lotta nicknames but Slimer’s most apt
There’s a gross gap
between me and you, it’s not subtle
I'm like Beetlejuice blowing a snot bubble
While y'all nasty freaks be blastin' seed in chastity 
I got hucksters on my teat on they phones trying to scold me
Mustard on the beat with the homemade aioli
Ate a whole pasta bowl, feeling Godly, skull in my hand
My flow is impossible - call me Rodney Mullen man
My ass is lily white, could never be yer token black
Pass me the proton pack you know that I be smokin' that
Rolled it sloppy and it broke in half
I’m chokin' hash in my lungs 
Sprinkle in some kief just a dash and we’re done
Take another blast 
You feel my wrath on you son
Homie pass me the guns
When you see me coming it’s 100 meter dash better run
and I’m jizzin' in your Good Burger
Ass never even visited the hood, murder-
Murdered on the track, your girl Squirtle on my lap
Motherfucker smell like gerbil in his crack
Bitch bitch I’m hard as hell like a turtle in the back
Rhymes so weak you couldn’t lift up my barbell
Tiny creep I’m a doctor IRL

I’m riding fixed gear chief with a toe strap
I’m in 6 beers deep where them hoes at?
Riding fixed gear chief with a toe strap
I’m in 6 beers deep where the hoes at?

Primal Mantis Bean

Dog head out the window headed out to Mt. Hood
Think it’s 20 miles left but I don’t count good
I’m seein' trillium, I’m seein' mycelium rising,
Green pillin' 'em minding, precision with timing 
Always looking and finding the Vis that’s behind things
Lookin' down from the mountain and the city is shining
When you pierce the veil and look behind it’s surprising  
Ancestral Ur soul materializing in rhyming, yeah

Yeah, you're lookin at me askin' how this rascal got kitted
Stay ready ain’t gotta get ready, facts all considered
When it comes to spousal abuse odds are some asshole cop did it
But you know they're gonna get a fucking pass, no conviction 
That’s no cap but a Bass Pro Shop fitted
I can do this fast slow top 50
Rappers from the past, no not Diddy,
met around a table with a task for which I got pity
Doom with his mask on got busy
Slammed his gavel down, “Let’s pick the Rap GOAT- Hop wit it!”
Deliberated for hours, Ras Kass so committed, yeah

Well that decision has been handed to us now you’re gonna hear it in
the end it was unanimous, and final like a period
Slimer is the pinnacle, the eye up in the pyramid 
My approach is clinical, as I evoke the fear in kids 
I grab you with a tentacle and slime you with a myriad 
Of nasty smelling chemicals if you’re close enough you hearing this
Slime clot in your ventricle, can barely breath, face really red
Not trying to be cynical - I'm making sure he’s really dead
Tracks the opposite of minimal - swirling soundscapes fill your head 
I’m an excellent adventurer, yeah I fuck with Bill and Ted 
I ain’t no indentured servant I make a million, shed
skin and I’m born again, even If I’m feeling dead
Take ten steps from shore then swim, chill like a took a pill in bed
Yeah when you’re remembering, “Who was that who kilt the set?”
You can call me Slimer, stand back or get filled with lead

Doghead

Landlords trying to get that low rent sent higher
Growin' real tired of them golems, inspired
To throw them in mire, snatch up all they wealth and build my Frozen Empire

Ain’t no more trees with leaves on it’s an icy cold winter
Mr. Freeze like bichons cuz my icy cold mental
Twisted Tea in that Nissan, yeah that right it’s a rental 
Bitch I’m fucked up 
Feel like a Nissan Altima, in Toyota City
I up and peace to Baltimore next to this goy with big titties 

I ain’t out here looking to get cancelled or killed
Legacy burnt up like Tarantula Hill
Staring back in horror like it’s Amityville
But it’s never gonna happen y'all can’t handle my skill
I go phoenix mode with a penis chode -  Xan in the pill
Slammin' my dill up in Candice and Jill
Man it’s a thrill
I eat some candies and chill
Rammin' a pill down my cats throat - amoxicillin 
'cause he hurt his paw and he got a infection
 
I flash a million to show how I be robbin’ the scene 
Like William Dafoe I be gobbling green

Spending all day reading some hoe’s Tumblr 
Trying to get art school strange like I'm the Obungaler
Sent phantom power to my Benjolin, board fried,  no rungler

Told them bitches off 
cause I’m goated with the sauce
Testicular cancer got a scrotum with no balls

In the grocery store comparing them clearance Jellos
My favorite flavor's American Spirit yellows

Landlords trying to get that low rent sent higher
Growin' real tired of these golems, inspired
to throw them in mire 
Snatch up all they wealth and build my Frozen Empire

I’m going feral and erratic
Slimer dripping goo eating Cheetos in the attic 
Exist outside of the realm your philosophies inhabit 
And I’m getting sushi comped bitch, call me Stephen Paddock

...and I hear the money talk, but it’s only word salad

Shitting in your castle make it a turd palace
Take a whiff asshole, did it out of pure malice
Now your girl looking at me  wanna touch a a nerd’s phallus

Yeah I lawfully caught all these soys in a vice
Lost in the sauce with no joy in they life 
Dicks awfully small like a toy for some mice
Off of that Za, can your boy get a slice?

Sittin' on the patio, rollin' up a fatty yo
Sippin' on a natty boh, daddy-o, 
Gaslight a ratty hoe like Gladio
Shit make me laugh like Pattymo
But then it got dark as shit like a catacomb 
When that heater spit rat-a-tat it go
Body dropping to the floor matta-fact he domed
Innocents hit shoddy work like manufactured homes
Hear that shotty burst move in silence cause they tapped yo phone

Yeah I’m spanking my lobster after shanking 5 mobsters
In the federal clink that's where I let it all sink
In my head and I think how I be rankin' my roster
I got Draculas, werewolfs, Frankenstein's monster
All with they instruments  that would make a fine a concert

I bought 10 flowers for Austin powers 
He often showers in Boston towers yeah

Aye caramba like barrio Bart
Woke up from my slumber to play some Mario Kart
I’m a woke anon yo
Play Pokemon GO while I’m smokin' on dro

I’ve only been to a strip club one time and it was weird 
Sittin' with my ex wife drippin' slime and sippin' beers...

...but now I’m switchin gears

I’m going feral and erratic
Slimer dripping goo eating Cheetos in the attic 
Exist outside of the realm your philosophies inhabit 
And I’m getting sushi comped bitch, call me Stephen Paddock

...and I hear the money talk, but it’s just a word salad

Manipulate the algo call me Charles Babbage
My dog ain’t spayed or potty trained, she snarls she’s a bad bitch 
Sike, of course she potty trained, what you think she piss in the house?
Fuck around get your dick in her mouth
and I hit you with the left that's a fist from the south 

I see you in the club, think you mackin’ on honeys?
If you’re a 10 I’m a natural 20
That’s a critical hit 
You got the littlest dick
You find cabbage so rarely you should pickle it, Rick

character limit reached....

Frozen Empire

I used to hustle up in Hudson had an apartment with some Bard kids
Sold root beer I made myself across the street from the farmers market

At Twig and Carly’s wedding a bottle exploded in the alley
Ppm of CO2 got to high to tally

Same alley where Friends Forever played and made mind soup
Took acid for the first time and got stuck in a time loop

Loop time a in stuck got and time first the for acid took I when

Look Who’s Talking Now, yeah I’m Kirstie Alley
Freestylin' on the mountain telling my kid not to dilly dally 

Juice dripping down our mouths picking berries black like Halley
Those invasive Himalayan kind that grow from here to Cali

Used to hustle up in Hudson had an apartment with some Bard kids
Sold root beer I made myself across the street from the farmers market

At Twig and Carly’s wedding a bottle exploded in the alley
Ppm of CO2 got to high to tally

Same alley where Friends Forever played and made mind soup
Took acid for the first time and got stuck in a time loop

Dank Bank Halloween party Twig dressed up like the Scarecrow
Burlap sack covers his face wooden tube that’s long and narrow

Blowing yopo up your nose until your vision narrows
Might merge with the Godhead or be plunged into terror

I remember when James did it - cried himself to sleep in a wheelbarrow

Picking Laughing Gyms outta front lawns got me on some other shit, I feel empowered and clowney
Ate so many that I saw God in a corn field out rural Howard County
You cowards is pouting in ivory towers while I scour mountains
Drive all the way up to Niagara Falls on a whim, just to glower at Mounties 

Act like you got Slimer figured out, but the fact is you don’t know a damn thing about me
Yeah I be squeezing them triggers now
and all of them boys are all softer than Downy
Back in the day I would shower in fountains
Brushing my teeth with a flower I found kid
It’s powerfully sour, but that shit works so much better than powder
I picked a ton from the meadow over by the base of the water tower 

Drinking that Natty Boh 40 that’s gut rot
Picking shrooms outta horse shit, almost got my ass lit up with the buck shot
Nails 9 inch long popped the tire in my truck, locked me in a Downward Spiral like a limp duck cock yah

Stopped at Wawa for some Lays chips and gasoline buying 
Hit the dug out on the Bay Bridge to Assateague Island
The master be rhymin'
I have you entranced 'til the last word that I chime in
Make 3 points at once like I’m wielding a trident
Make 3 points at once like I’m wielding a trident
The ceilings the sky when you open your mind and get real with your feelings not hide them

Trying to be real this time ‘n 
Something you can feel this time ‘n
Not a bunch of nonsense you’re dealing with Biden 

Show you different sides of Slimer like Studds Terkel on his show
Drop usurpers to the throne
Still take the purple to the dome
Steve or Stefan situation like Urkel got a clone 
I gotta take this mama’s calling, she loves chirping on the phone

I used to hustle up in Hudson in an apartment with some Bard kids
Sold root beer I made myself across the street from the farmers market

At Twig and Carly’s wedding a bottle exploded in the alley
Ppm of CO2 got to high to tally

Look Who’s Talking Now yeah I’m Kirstie Alley
Freestylin' on the mountain telling my kid not to dilly dally

Look Who's Talking Now

Tiny little butt, she's a fan of thugs and hatchet men
Slimer in the cut, banana plug to patch it in
Rhymin' bitch like what? Gannon couldn’t scratch his skin
We’re lightin’ doobies up then we fan ‘em like I’m catching wind
It’s cannon to be plastered when a phantom is your fastest friend

I’m robbin’ a bank with my super fun niece 
Pulled out 2 Choppers got more than One Piece
Droppin’ both the coppers they fall to their knees
They’re gonna need doctors when her and I leave
The teller it shocked her she shit her undies
A customer mocked her, screamed “I’ve got a gun, please:
The vault, you’ll unlock her, insert the money
In this bag with the dollar sign - nothing funny”
High on krokodil they call me Dundee
I don’t breath air - poppers my lungs, G
I love Johnny Rotten I make fun of B-
-eyonce whose bottom the fans come to see
Hop in my model T it’s 1920
Tilting a bottle been drinking plenty
Foot on the throttle gun under the seat
Back to our hovel that’s under the sea
Now I’m rich like Jim Saville but I’m not some creep
I wrote a novel moved to Burundi 
Where it’s hot like Scoville and there are monkeys
I chill in the grotto trippin' on fungi
My fans here grovel and offer sundries
Say my talent’s colossal need more like junkies
I’m their apostle, guide them through rough seas
Till I’m old like fossils and my flow is rusty

I feel the walls closing in, feeling surly, prison of the mind
Woke up early, rizzin’ all the time
Shirley Chisholm got the slime 
Ate her girly jism with some wine
Now I’m a Branded Man like Merle in prison in his prime
Fuck a land lord Furley is no friend of mine
Oppenheimer Barbie bitch I’m nuking your dollhouse
You got superpowers from the nuclear fallout
Sike! It was cancer! Guts, you’re puking them all out
I’ve been inside more wives than a Mormon pinky ring
Destroyed your Destiny, call me Norman Finkelstein
Many men wish death ‘pon me try to pop me like a pimple see
Me dodging the ops until I’m needing wrinkle cream 
and I got a swollen prostate, can barely make a tinkle stream

Wasted all my money - trees laced
Took a single puff made the Come and See face

Wasted all my money - trees laced
Took a single puff made the Come and See face

Tiny little butt, she’s a fan of thugs and hatchet men
Slimer in the cut, banana plug to patch him in
Rhymin bitch like what? Gannon couldn’t scratch his skin
We’re lightin’ doobies up then we fan ‘em like I’m catching wind
It’s cannon to be plastered when a phantom is your fastest friend

A phantom is your fastest friend

It’s cannon to be plastered when a phantom is your fastest friend

A phantom is your fastest friend

Mormon Pinky Ring

Off that duff saying "D'oh!" like I'm Homer
Walk in rough from Moe's like OK-err
See Marge's muff, get sprung like toaster
Bring her up the stairs and we gonna make a posterrrr

Drank so much natty cola till I vomit Blue Sky 
I’m a high rolla, pockets fat like Comic Book Guy 
Girl you fine like Bart’s babysitter and that’s jes’ the facts 
Wanna get you out that navy sweater and fuck like the Mighty Esquilax

I fucked on Marge and now I'm Itchy and Scratchy
Homer come to Shelbyville if you want your ass beat
I don't think them donuts are good for you
Man I just Quick-E-Fart while you take Apu

My mind is reeling, Patty and Selma twerkin' and shoutin'
Trying to borrow a feeling yeah, Kirk Van Houten
They callin’ me Skinner now, way I’m touring this box factory 
Stole Wiggums’ spinner - BLOW! - now all of these cops trackin’ me uh
Pistol to the head, mouth morphin' like a power ranger
Now this fool is dead, Ralph orphaned, laughing “I’m in danger”

Rammin’ dick, got Ginger Flanders’ slit dripping that’s cannon kid 
You fucking mammoth dipshit, I'll hang you out dry out in the hammock district 
You know that I’m keeping it Grimey, Frankly yousa corporate hoe
I be runnin' the Globex, mo' sex than Hank Scorpio

No respect like you Burns’ son, yer
Gettin' no love from me like I’m Kerny’s mother
Yo I light hella fatties, get brain like Martin Prince, fun 
Nights with yella baddies and you just a fucking Simp, son
I know you got a pistol too, you scared to take a risk to use it?
Duuuuuuuh, does Disco Stu like disco music?

The Simpsons Golden Age (Seasons 2-8) Type Beat

DR SLIMER

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