martyr

incelcore

kuku

music

isabella anos

trolling myself :p

K

this time im gonna do it 
no more turning back no more
this time im gonna do it 
slit my wrist drop on the floor

and i dont understand 
how youd move on so fast
i fucked up real bad
and now youre gone and now im sad
and all the times we had
are gone and in the trash
i wish we couldve last
but now your with another man

this time im gonna do it 
no more turning back no more
this time im gonna do it 
slit my wrist drop on the floor

this time i'm gonna do it.

turn right at the sign
remembering to get your keys this time
from all a’s to escaping class
throwing up all the baggage that you have

from basketball to the locker room
i can’t wait for you to be here
afraid of men because of what coach did

Moeka

waiting on this life to pass me by
without you here id rather die
im not having fun
but im not mad
i just fucked up all i could ever have

so ill write songs about how drinkings
the only thing that’ll stop me from thinking
how I need you, I need you bad
then i wouldnt be so fucking sad

i know im a loser, but could you still love me?
i know im an asshole i hope that you’ll still like me
i know im a faggot but please dont leave me baby
i know im a loser, but could you still love me 

i cant sleep
i cant eat
i lay awake with you next to me
got nothing to say 
nothing i wanna do 
nothing left for me to impress you

everyones the same
everythings a blur
i try to break out but i just get fucking hurt
i dont wanna live
i dont wanna work
just wanna be with you under the dirt

loser

(everything prod by me)
ive had this song in my drafts for a reaaallly long time and i was finally able to get it done and im rlly happy with how it turned outt :> im probs gonna make more stuff like this in da future 

lyrics:
think im losing my mind
cuz i was so blind
lovers intertwined 
we were meant to bind 

ill kiss between your scars
and hold you in my arms 
so i can never forget you
stay right beside you
maybe this worlds not so gray
and i will live another day 
holding you close to me
cuz darling youre all i need  

take a piece of my aching heart
and keep it locked 
throw the key in a wishing well 
and let my love forever dwell
can you hear my silent cries
i dont know why i even try
is it so hard to feel something?
or maybe i just meant nothing 

defect (youre the one)
defect (youre the one)
defect (youre the one)
defect (youre the one)
defect (youre the one)

the angels in the sky
will pick us up and help us fly 
by our sheer destiny 
our love is heavenly 	
ive been living in a dream
but i dont wanna wake up
no i dont wanna wake up
no i dont wanna wake up

take a piece of my aching heart
and keep it locked 
throw the key in a wishing well 
and let my love forever dwell
can you hear my silent cries
i dont know why i even try
is it so hard to feel something?
or maybe i just meant nothing

and so our love prospers

i'm running running to run away from you
i don't know don't know what i got to do
to get it, get it, get it through to you
that i'm running, running to run away from you
----------------------------------------------------
I'm calling-
To tell you-
That I just-
don't love you-
the way that-
i used to
i know that you still do
----------------------------------------------------
Believe me 
when i say 
that things really
did change

I woke up and saw you
and you were acting
so strange
-----------------------------------------------------
Now that i have gone away
you can have all the space
that you prayed for
that i paid for
is this i get blamed for?

now that it's all gone
is that you really want
i just want to carry on 
and I want you to move on
-----------------------------------------------------
i'm running running to run away from you
i don't know don't know what i got to do
to get it, get it, get it through to you
that i'm running, running to run away from you
-----------------------------------------------------
i'm calling-
To tell you-
That I just-
don't love you-
the way that-
i used to
i know that you still do
Believe me 
when i say 
that things really did change
I woke up and saw you
you were acting so strange
-----------------------------------------------------
i'm running running to run away from you
i don't know don't know what i got to do
to get it, get it, get it through to you
that i'm running, running to run away from you
-----------------------------------------------------

Running Away

GIRLS GTFO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

entering increasingly extreme 
subcultures
wanna be accepted but im just
a stupid vulture

pray that youll forgive me for my sins 
comply with anyone who takes me in
and you wonder how my views are formed
but don’t help at all you dont try to warn 
me of how i left my world behind 
to get closer to my human side

entering increasingly extreme
subcultures
wanna be accepted but im just
a fucking poser

didnt choose to fall this far at all
just wanted a place i could call home
maybe this song is too on the nose
cant let the irls know cant be exposed 
my worst fear is being left behind 
is this my out
you decide

extremist

i feel so full of hatred
its killing me
the violent tendencies
i need to please

i freeze in place
your blood is on my face
i want to get out of this place
but your corpse is in the way
will i ever be forgiven

its all coming back to me
your scream, its so haunting
and it all felt so good at the time
but now i wanna die
please end my fucking life

please excuse me
your corpse is in my way
please excuse me
your always in my way

please excuse me

Old demo I had but never published because I thought it was bad. 

Woke up at 4, didn’t leave my bed
Saw that you left me left on read
Tried to text back, I changed my mind
Guess I’ll just rot here, guess I'll die

Yeah, I'm trying to move past her
But it's so hard to forget her
Yeah, I swore I’d get it together
But I’m still stuck in last November

I tried to quit caffeine, but I still can't sleep
Your suicidal thoughts are catching up to me
I really wish you'd shoot me 'til I'm dead
I really wish that you'd cut me instead

I tried to quit caffeine, but I still can't sleep
Your suicidal thoughts are catching up to me
I really wish you'd shoot me 'til I'm dead
I really wish that you'd cut me instead

I'm watching the paint peel from the wall
Crying as I wait for your call
Told myself I would start again
But here I am, waiting again

It’s fine, I’m used to it
Always feeling like shit
I'm burnt out in my mind
But I swear that I'm fine

I tried to quit caffeine, but I still can't sleep
Your suicidal thoughts are catching up to me
I really wish you'd shoot me 'til I'm dead
I really wish that you'd cut me instead

I tried to quit caffeine, but I still can't sleep
Your suicidal thoughts are catching up to me
I really wish you'd shoot me 'til I'm dead
I really wish that you'd cut me instead

Cut Me Instead

Run away

the fall

bloodsucker

fairy dust

worthwhile(demo)

This is the track I submitted for the Manslaughter comp album. It'll be included on Banned by Wikipedia as well, though. I think this is my best vocal performance.

LISTEN ON SPOTIFY IT GETS ME PAID!!!!: https://open.spotify.com/track/5Kz2PG4ze2bW27rOiE9pLd?si=03750f19556449ad

Lyrics:
Verse 1:
You were too annoying to me
And I want you gone
I’m a psycho, you’re a dumbfuck
I’m gonna knock you out
You’re gonna die when I toss you out at sea
Pull out your eyes, turn it into some puree 
Punched in the face till you shrivel up and cry
Then I will burn you, and call it suicide.

Pre-chorus:
I don’t even know you
I don’t wanna kill you 
But you keep getting in my way
If you keep on screaming
I will have no choice
And I’ll send you on your way.

Chorus:
I didn’t choose to be a murderer
I didn’t wanna take a life
The bullshit way this world’s being run
with everything I did, I did everything in spite

Verse 2:
I see you laughing with your friends on the sidelines
Cause you don’t wanna ever be “that guy”.
Well truth be told, you’ll never be as great
Cause you can’t save world if you’re laying a grave
A world without you is a world in harmony
Not a day goes past where I think of you harming me
Senselessly, tactlessly, fractally, haplessly
You are a fool, there’s no way you could go home

Chorus Reprise:
I didn’t choose to be a murderer
I didn’t wanna take a life
The bullshit way this world’s being run
with everything I did, I did everything in spite

I did, and choose to be a murderer,
I did, and want to the take knife.
Who really knows, perhaps this is the life?
Dragging victims to the woods, like a zealot by the scythe

Manslaughterer

i break my teeth on the altar rail to swallow the shards, 
i let ‘em scrape me thin
only saints get to rot in vain
i think i'm insane for you its true

i know ur waiting for the day i decay
even if it hollows out my veins
you're waiting for heaven to call

Darling, dig me out
I’m too far down
your shadow’s grown
through every bone
and I don’t even know who’s in my skin
i fear loving you is my biggest sin

fairy song

99 Luftballons (Nena Cover)

I hate you - H4rtbrkr (cover by Scrawledmind)

lyrics:
always at my shows
it's a girl i don't know
with blue hair and brown eyes
with white skin and small thighs
and small thoughts in my head
i don't know what i said
she said "hi", i said "yo"
she said she liked my rock music
and after that, i don't know
i'm trying to remember
and after that, i don't know
i'm trying to remember
and after that, i don't know
i'm trying to remember
it went something a lot like this

girls, get the fuck out (8x)

so annoying, used for sex
i just really want some rest
hopefully they know how i feel
if only i could see what they did, seein' me
and now i wanna be like her, oh

stupid slut cocksucker

girls gtfo

i don't wanna smoke 'til i die, i just wanna scream 'til i cry
every waking moment, i can't live without it
i shouldn't have to cry through my prime, take pills they'll keep me in line
you waste my fuckin' time, i feel like i'm dying

and it's all stuck on repeat in my head but i can't understand it
i don't wanna wake up to the sound of all my friends screaming at god

i can't wait to feed myself, increasing holes on my belt
i'll live with being hungry, you don't fucking love me
you don't mean the things you tell me, you forget about your family
and everybody else, you're putting us through hell

nothing really matters, nothing fuckin' matters

they said your head was full of pills and your heart couldn't take the damage
and i don't wanna be the one that's gonna be there when you're not waking up
and it's all stuck repeat in my head but i can't understand it
i don't wanna watch my best friends kill themselves so i can fall out of love

angel dust

it's like i woke up from a dream, i'm gonna get myself killed
i won't answer to anyone, except myself
my friends all tell me that i need my meds
kill the thoughts inside my head
burn a church because it's what i wanna do
i hurt myself because i need to
for you

i could run away from all this shit, i could kill my friends
all i need is love, i don't care how it ends
i don't care about anyone who says i'm mad
what makes me so fucking bad?
i don't care because it's what i wanna do
i hurt myself because i want to
for you

flowers for graves

i wanna be loved, i don't wanna go crazy
now i'm acting all shaky, but you probably knew
i can tell by the way that you style your hair, i can see by the way that you keep on starin'

i just wanna dance and i wanna be stupid, i think i'm dumb but you already knew this
i can't run from the future that's been set before me, i know what's gonna happen at the end of the story, oh

it's all like you said before, i don't wanna see you anymore
i don't wanna be stupid
it's like all my friends have died, i can't seem to get them out of my mind
i don't wanna be stupid

i look in the mirror and i feel like i'm falling, all of my calls they meant nothing to you, now i don't wanna live
i don't wanna go outside

mirror mirror

i’m wasting
time inside my head
i don’t wanna feel alive
i don’t wanna feel like i’m dead

i can’t stand the
way my mind is numb
i don’t want to let things go
i don’t want to feel so dumb

but why can’t i do
what i wanna do
why can’t i say
what i wanna say
i’m a danger to myself
and anybody else


i want it, i need it
don’t feel so defeated
the panic, the violence
i wanna die in silence

i’m dying in my head
i feel like i’ve been wasted
no thinking, retreating
they always end up leaving

i’m wasting
my time feeling down
what’s the point of feeling sad
someday i’ll come around

wasted

little hornets in my mouth and crawling out my eyes
take me back to winter, i can’t stand to see you cry
she said “i don’t want to leave you but this hornet’s gotta fly,
i don’t love you anymore, i don’t want to die”


break my heart into 6 pieces and throw them to the wind
let me be reborn an angel, let me start again
stab at me with stingers, wrap my arms and legs in scars
if that’s what it takes i’ll let you rip my limbs apart

little hornets crawling in my skin and in my head
leave my body here, i swear you’ll love me when i’m dead
wrap me up in linen, bury me with my guitar
now that god’s abandoned me return me to the stars

worthwhile(demo)

garden graves