and if i could hold you tonight i know that id be alright

Again i can’t over the vocals, very good. The song is just so relatable like.

[+ Tosha]

1st - @user-411557229 
2nd - @northshoremusic 
3rd - @emptychest 
4th - @torvamia 
5th - @strivemusicau 
6th - @caspywaspy 
7th - @soulfadexo 
8th - @x1fern 
9th - @noxious-nights 
10th - @navyxower 
11th - @shizukesaaa 
12th - @hoeplessboy

Holding Onto Something [+ Tosha x Kev]

prod. me x @thislandis

lyrics:
quick smoke in the yard
i never thought you’d come back home
you’re drunk in the car
that we borrowed from your father 
just sleep it off
and turn your mattress yellow
love, just keep the faith
you’ll get your fix tomorrow

find me at my pity party
blacking out on cheap white wine
find me passed out in the backseat
find me running out of time
find me at my pity party
blacking out, blacking out
just find me something to wash all this down
wash all this down oh woah-oh-oh

and i don’t wanna talk too much
before this pill kicks in, so it won’t hurt
and i don’t wanna wait all night
for a phone to ring just cuz u sound like her
and you’re telling me that it’s too late
and love’s just photographs and tramadol 
but i don’t wanna go back home
just to black out in this hallway again

and again

pity party

a mutual sickness report

i am not the one
opening up
tryna fall in love
im making it up 

to you
but i always look like a fool
as wait for
the right time

you can never pick
even if i decide
its like a waveform, in the right night
coming out at me, like you held that knife 

coming through
sedatives in june
who are you?
i would never do this to you

ur pretty girl
with a pretty guy
could not forgive myself, how i ruined that night

if i say goodnight, and goodbye, would you look for me tonight

coming through
sedatives in june
who are you?
i would never do this to you

im a fool
walking through your room
i could never give up
never let go

whats it mean to you
when you look me in the eyes
baby you look like a no-bell prize
do it or die
long, late nights
stay up and cry

Sedatives In June (feat. American Dead Cross) (prod. irby)

As i fade away
I suffocate
I handle the blade and alleviate
The writhing pain
I felt today
When i found out the eternity of my fate

Im dealt these cards
And i cant get far
My stillborn heart
Will not restart

Take it away from me
Before i hurt myself
Im not too well

baby ur all that i need
when i’m stuck inside my shell
this stupid hell

don’t look back
when you walk away
i’m too far gone
I cant be saved

so tell me what’s real is it all in my head?
did u ever mean anything that you said
heart swellin up cuz it’s fillin with dread
don’t wanna fix it i’ll stop it instead

what is the point if i can’t even have this
it was my fault now it’s lost in the past tense 
i’m bleeding out while ur sitting there laughing
at my expense so i’m just getting blasted

i drink too much it’s a really bad habit
life is a test and i don’t wanna pass it
cant show my pain so i’ll sit here and mask it
even when you took my heart and stabbed it

don’t look at me
when i’m weeping from my sins 
im on my knees
will i sink or will i swim

follow still vanishing

suffocate (still vanishing)

@strivemusicau
@shizukesaaa
@autumndropsdead
@torvamia

(strivesad)
Caught in a cage with this endless pain
caught up to my age now I’m getting paid
Depression stays high and now the feelings changed
pour another bottle all apon my grave

you’ve been building roads
I’m building settlements

I keep craving another fucking serotonin hit
let’s flip the script

I don’t need no alliby
come with me and stay the night
Fighting for my life I think I’m doing fine

Ripped clothes now I’m going home
got these problems cause I feel alone
keep me in my zone

(shizu)
beamer swerving 
cuz i deserve the worst shit
bet she gon hit me up w/ 'love u but this isnt working'
might fuck around my blade till i negate the serotonin
now watch the liquid dripping red off slitted wrists, still frozen
find another guy and leave me dying w/ no notice
no i was never that man but fans in my dms saying im chosen
it gets hard to speak every want when everyone is seeing you choking
when words go wasting the space of audio waves to leaving me broken"

(autie)
my conscious is ever so heavy
i've been so cautious ever since you left
i've been holding myself down, with this self doubt
but nevertheless
i swear that i'll know when you need me
you know i'm right there when you're hearing that ringing
i'm patient a bit, but waiting's a bitch
i wish i could split and fuck up my breathing
but if there's anyone out there like me
smite like a god do and make me undying
bottle my goods for a world that is dying
plenish a helt that is tattered with lies
'cause i see through them every single minute
proof is in my dome, that's why i'm livid
tell me that you love him 'till i'm finished
i repel and let them be forgiven

(torva)
smoke until my chest hurts, til my lungs burn
think ill die soon, think ill go first
now my head hurts, never heard worse
if i lose you, need a gold hearse

never fuck it up, bitch i run it up
i go fucking crazy
til i do enough
keep my tommy tucked, never losing love
think i need some help
fore' i lose my trust

Cage w/ strivesad, shizukesa, autumndropsdead & torvamia [+ Tied For Silver x flesh]

prod. metlast x sor
mix: me
master: teddyboi (@yoimn3ver)
art: my girlfriend <3

lyrics:

close, but i can’t finish it
just know, that i don’t wanna be close tonight
when im at home, i feel the pain sink in
bottle after bottle after bottle down my throat 

know, that i can’t let go, this simply
of something that took time to put together
but clearly these bonds have been severed

don’t get too close, you’ll let the pain in
frost lands on my nose, it’s come im shaking
she knows, that she shouldn’t get close
but it’s freezing 

3 in the morning
i should be sleeping but im not
this anxiety has got its grip on me
this is something you won’t see
cause you’re caught up in a dream
so far away from the disease
im begging im down im on my knees
for someone to save me
but no one’s here lately 

close, but i can’t finish it
just know, that i don’t wanna be close tonight
when im at home, i feel the pain sink in
bottle after bottle after bottle down my throat

know, that i can’t let go, this simply
of something that took time to put together
but clearly these bonds have been severed

don’t get too close, you’ll let the pain in
frost lands on my nose, it’s come im shaking
she knows, that she shouldn’t get close
but it’s freezing

now you see me
now you don’t
now i’m gone and missing
you shouldn’t have gotten close

close (metlast x sor)

produced by sorrow bringer

mixed by me

mastered by teddyboi

art by my lovely girlfriend <3

lyrics:

(go away from me now, i don’t wanna see your face)

go away from me 
i don’t wanna see your face again 
don’t you think that you can erase and or amend
cause the damage is already done

you took advantage and had your fun
don’t you think the time has come
for you to let go
the soul owes no bonds so lose control

but the memory won’t fold 
i’ve been losing sleep and growing old
it’s been fuckin weeks and it’s been cold
my rooms been stinkin’ foul from the mold

everybody ask me how
how i even do this
frankly i just push along and don’t think i’m an artist
faintly i’ll just make a song and don’t think i’m a above this

go away from me 
i don’t wanna see your face again 
don’t you think that you can erase and or amend
enemies always start out as friends

once dear to me 
it should’ve been clear to see
but in this fog i couldn’t recognize your face
the feeling of the shock it put me in my place 
i hate the taste 

go away from me 
i don’t wanna see your face again 
go away from me 
i don’t wanna see your face again 
i know you think that you can erase and or amend
but you can’t so just accept

go away from me 
i don’t wanna see your face again 
don’t you think that you can erase and or amend
it’s time this ends

(random mumbled gibberish lol)

go away (sorrow bringer)

Lyrics

wishing on stars every night
cosmic the light from your eyes
it hurts so much when we say goodbye
But i know were better with time

and if i could hold you tonight
I know that id be alright
And Id know that im still alive

Id know that i

And if i
Could hold you tonight
Id be alright
id know im alive

and if i
Could hold you tonight
Id be alright 
know im alive

you’re best alone for the week
Cos i know you’re fed up with me
You say “its fine watchyu mean”
But i think your lying to me

And if i 
Could hold you tonight
id be alright
id know im still alive

Oh if i
Hold you tonight
Id be alright
id know im alive

alive (theoptimist)

ｔｈｅ　ｐｒｅｓｅｎｔ　ｍｅ　ｉｓ　ｊｕｓｔ　ａ　ｌｏｏｓｅ　ｅｎｄ

i love all of you guys seriously so much.
this is the only thing  i ever want to do, and your support helps push me to continue with all of this; i would regardless, but i'm grateful to no ends for whatever kind of reception is given back. things have been seriously difficult as of late, and so all i can say is thank you for being here. thank you for listening.
shit's kinda cliche when i say that, but that cliche shit is true sometimes, and i mean it; whatever. thank you 
hopefully just the beginning 

prod @cartermetro & @vito2300 

you left (you left)
i crashed (i crashed)
now all we ever had is in the past
(it's all in the past)
i'll stay (away)
detached (from that)
until the very moment i collapse

something ain't feeling too right
losing my sight; bloodshot irises
the people i love ain't alike
give it some time, maybe my view will shift
it's always whenever you're right, they put up a fight
but i couldn't give a shit
hammered down any spite, bring out the knife
lying outside again

and my notes are filled with solutions,
that you might consider delusion
the old me is buried in ruins
the present me is just a loose end
turned off the phone for monochrome daydreams
'cause i don't give a shit if i'm wavy
i mean look at what happened to davy

making a point to you's crazy
crissin' it 'cross like an apple, how tasty
stuck in a drench, while i'm soaking in sweat
more or less i'm expecting nobody to save me
pokemon quest on the blue 2DS
nowadays i'm a wreck, and i stench what i'm craving
heart full of rust,
when the musk fermentates in my chest you can leave what you're hating

i got a pain in my neck, can't stretch it
the hurt in my voice can't be heard over message
so let's make a break where we got no connections
only direction, never perfection
when i talk to the sky, it'll always rain hail
bulimia fucking me up 'till i'm well
"the truth doesn't sell"
leave me for dead with the dread in my head and no breath to inhale

004, blunt force on the baby
there ain't a lure with the potent to save me
getting by as a passerby,
keeping lowered eyes, i'm already hazy
not that i'm lazy,
just marinating in lost time they never gave me
i'm short on breath, should i recollect
or detach, while i'm still straining
i hate that when i fall back into relapse
it's me i'm saving
what a nuisance, when i do this
you're clueless about what i'm saying
so, deuces, 'cause few stick when the roof lifts
i'm sick of waiting
got mucus on my blue lips
from fucked shit i feel on the daily

something ain't feeling too right
losing my sight; bloodshot irises
the people i love ain't alike
give it some time, maybe my view will shift
it's always whenever you're right, they put up a fight
why should i give a shit
hammered down any spite, brought in the knife
i wanna die again

my heart's open
why is my heart open
quick, gotta close it
quick, gotta close it

alive (theoptimist)

dxnny

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