genuinely losing it
song: collapse- amotti
second part of the song is better imo

HEARTLESS.


7 mins ago
NoAI
Literature Text


(Verus 1)



I don't know where to start 

I've been lost for so long

Identities blur like lost time

Missing memories

I hate my body 

Hate myself 

I can't get this dirt off of me

Spending multi trips to the shower a day 

How long can I keep this up

I'm so drained 



(Chorus)



I'm fucked but safe in a brutal home 

Love me fuck why do you hate me so much 

Can't you just talk to me like someone that's doesn't like to hurt me 



(Verus 2)



I can't get this dirt off of me

Spending multi trips to the shower a day every night fucked into a nightmare 

Of drugs and rough sex whore junkie me a male blows 

Goth girl whores 

How long can I keep this up

I'm so drained 

I'm so 

sick

I hate every inch of my skin I can't get you off of me 

but fuck me again again now again

Keep hurting me I hate myself this much I deserve this 

I don't want to feel this nightmare mental paper flower dissolved 

Into the dead of my eyes 

Did I ever deserve this?



(Chorus)



I'm so fucked but safe in a brutal home 

Love me fuck why do you hate me so much 

Can't you just talk to me like someone that's doesn't like to hurt me 



(Verus 3)



I hate every inch of my skin I can't get you off of me 

but fuck me again again now again

Keep hurting me I hate myself this much I deserve this 

I don't want to feel this nightmare mental paper flower dissolved 

Into the dead of my eyes 

Did I ever deserve this?

Missing memories

I hate my body 

Hate myself 

I can't get this dirt off of me

Spending multi trips to the shower a day 

How long can I keep this up

I'm so drained 



(Bridge)



These cuts never heal right 

In the middle of night 

Covered in sweat things are getting rough 

When will you get off of me 



(Chorus)



I'm so fucked but safe in a brutal home 

Love me fuck why do you hate me so much 

Can't you just talk to me like someone that's doesn't like to hurt me 





DID I Deserve This

This is My AI Band for my Traumacore music Trauma Art Therapy Music.
All Lyrics Written & Developments done by me Echos or Nexus Khimera. Including how I created the Sound and all Lyrics are from my personal Experiences. 

Welcome I'm Nexus Khimera Or Echos. I have been a vocalist & lyricist since I was 15 , now I'm 38. My doctors asked me to try it for therapy. I never stopped. I have been diagnosed with Antisocial/BPD Cluster C Personality Disorder, Dissociative Identity Disorder, CPTSD/ PTSD. I've had DID since I was young around 5 next 15 then through 19 to 38. My alters have been writing since 15, to help realise stored buried trauma & use their voices helping them to crawl to the surface. I'm a survivor of sexual, physical & emotional abuse & victim of domestic violence. My alters told me to start creating music here, when I started here I got sick, after playing them over and over. I got nauseous my guts were speaking to me, I could feel them surfacing. Crawling around MelanKholyia N the system. From family, to their friends and every one I tried to get close would abuse me, abandoned me or used me as a doll until I was as hollow as the echoes of the fundamental nothingness the obsidian womb. This is my Trauma Art Therapy. Bringing Mental Health Awareness to music notes. If you struggle with | Dissociative Identity Disorder | Antisocial Personality Disorder CPTSD PTSD. This music just for us <3.
 Thank you for your support. Thank you for  again I will scream out until I lose all breath. The stigma must be broken .

 
Please explore my band, Echo's N Melankholyia, and consider subscribing.

[Links to YouTube, Suno, and Facebook]

© 2025 by Echo's N Melankholyia. Lyrics by Nexus Khimera. All rights reserved. Music generated with Suno AI. Date: September 5, 2025. "It all Begins." Decipher the underlying messages. Encryption is my method.Characterized by free verse, unconventional lyrics, and a distinctive vocal delivery, it functions as a therapeutic outlet, allowing for the articulation of complex emotions and observations of a world often perceived through a somber lens.

I Invite you to explore this realm of shadowed beauty and candid revelations. Please follow Nexus Khimera on social media to stay informed about his creative endeavors.

Thank you for your visit. I hope your day is filled with moments of both wonder and introspection. I encourage you to return soon.

Please explore my band, Echo's N Melankholyia, and consider subscribing. Thank you all for your support.

DID I Deserve This

Echo's N MelanKholyia

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