ASPD Soico Confession

Caged Illusion 2

I'M LATEE

hihi hey whats up ~~ i've learned a lot this summer .. so let's learn even more this autumn .. new vocal music this friday btw hehe
(some of these are a bit older, but we don't talk about that .. okay ?!)

if interested in purchasing any of these, please contact on instagram @elixio__
https://www.instagram.com/elixio__/

or discord; gyaruwojak

♡♡ 
(i'm the ultimate uma ermm .. apologist idk i can't think of anything that starts with the letter u)

0:00 - still in love (this song sounds so much better in a lower key LOL)
0:28 - seiun sky
0:52 - silence suzuka
1:29 - el condor pasa
2:05 - narita brian
2:38 - mejiro maaaackqueeen (w/ kirani)
3:02 - haru urara
3:25 - gold ship (w/ kirani)
3:53 - maruzensky
4:15 - loves only you (sample; glowing snow, deltarune)
4:32 - hishi amazon
4:54 - vodka
5:14 - rice shower
5:43 - fuji kiseki
6:09 - oguri cap
6:45 - tamamo cross
7:16 - grass wonder
7:40 - biwa hayahide
8:03 - manhattan cafe
8:27 - mayano top gun
8:46 - mihono bourbon
9:14 - agnes tachyon
9:31 - curren bouquetd'or
10:04 - gentildonna
10:37 - meisho doto
11:09 - SUPER CREEEEEEK

the characters i assigned to each beat were carefully analyzed and revised multiple times. only real uma-freaks know how accurate my picks are

speaking of .. gonna start reading cinderella gray soon, i've been holding off bc i've been so busy irl wahh so freaking excited

..since you're still reading go listen to this; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nP7tkwgmuSA .. about to replay lies of p for the 7th or 8th time idk i've lost count .. need that sequel neowiz .. tick tock .. no pun intended

..& even so ✧˖°. 2025 summer clips

prod me

in the first time forever i let u go 
i didn't know what i know
im sick of standing in the cold
u told me it would never, ever get old 
i let the story unfold
and now im left here with a hole

shoulda believed in u
shoulda believed in us
but i aint needing u
and i aint needing us
taking all the time away from the things i love
its just the way the world plays yeah u aint enough

if u said the words rn 
u know i would pull up
we get high roll up
lost the zip no luck
i got super saiyan powers bitch 
yes im cooler
im getting fat janemba 
im getting cold freeze up 

its so odd seeing us
i was in wonderlust
cant believe u lied to me
yeah im hanging up
cant decide in and out
spent the night drownin out
if u died right here right now
would igaf??

losers rights (me)

STILL IN LOVE

#About a  #Student  he  goes to #Oxford #Jam #University 

🎼Oxford Jam Studium (because the Love Takes a Pause) – Oxford Jam Version .wav

A magical hour of Disco-infused Funky Vibes >>>
Todd White - L.O.V.E., Tangerue - Bad Connection / No No No, Le Flex - Meet Me On The Dancefloor, Tangerue - I'm Ready Disco Star, Prizm - One More Time, Paulmac - The Sound Of Breaking Up, Quartzlock feat Lonnie Gordon - Love Eviction, Blue Sparks - Move In Up, P Lion - Dream, The Travellers - Ooh Baby.

Disco Travelling

La baie à marée basse
Les paroles sont de Frédéric G

La mer s'est retirée
En laissant sur le sable
Un esquif chaviré,
Un chagrin inlassable,
M'y conduisant j'irai.

Qu'est-il donc arrivé,
Que fait là sur le sable ?
L'esquif de mât privé,
Un chagrin inlassable
M'y conduisant j'y vais.

Il est là qui dépasse
La dune, abandonné.
Mon cœur à marée basse
Sans le voir le dépasse.
Faut-il s'en étonner ?
Faut-il s'en étonner ?
Faut-il s'en étonner ?

Si la vague à du vague
À l'âme et qu'on divague
Et sur le sable on passe
Le cœur à marée basse.
Si les vagues ont du vague
À l'âme qu'on divague
Et sur le sable on passe
Le cœur à marée basse.

Quand parfois une épave
En proie à ses pensées
Ignore une autre épave
Gisant sans son étrave
Faut-il s'en offenser ?

Quand on a fait naufrage
Et qu'on est fracassé
Brisé par les orages
Qui sur l'amour font rage
On ne fait que passer
On ne fait que passer
On ne fait que passer

Si la vague à du vague
À l'âme et qu'on divague
Et sur le sable on passe
Le cœur à marée basse
Si les vagues ont du vague
À l'âme, que je divague
Et sur le sable je passe
Le cœur à marée basse

Si la vague à du vague
À l'âme et qu'on divague
Et sur le sable on passe
Le cœur à marée basse
Si les vagues ont du vague
À l'âme, que je divague
Et sur le sable je passe...
Et sur mon cœur tu passes
Tu passes à marée basse
Et sur mon cœur tu passes
Tu passes à marée basse..

The Bay at Low Tide
Lyrics are by Frédéric G

The sea has withdrawn
Leaving on the sand
An overturned skiff,
An unrelenting sorrow,
Leading me there, I will go.

What happened,
What is it doing there on the sand?
The mastless skiff,
An unrelenting sorrow
Leading me there, I go.

It is there, sticking out
Beyond the dune, abandoned.
My heart at low tide
Without seeing it surpasses.
Should one be surprised ?
Should one be surprised ?
Should one be surprised ?


If the wave has vagueness
In the soul and we wander
And cross the sand
With a heart at low tide.
If the waves have vagueness
In the soul we wander
And cross the sand
With a heart at low tide.

When sometimes a wreck
Caught in its thoughts
Ignores another wreck
Lying without its bow
Should one take offense ? 

When we are shipwrecked
And we are shattered
Broken by the storms
That rage upon love
We are only passing through
We are only passing through
We are only passing through

If the wave has a vagueness
To the soul and we wander
And on the sand we pass
With our hearts at low tide
If the waves have a vagueness
To the soul, that I wander
And on the sand I pass
With my heart at low tide

If the wave has a vagueness
To the soul and we wander
And on the sand we pass
With our hearts at low tide
If the waves have a vagueness
To the soul, that I wander
And on the sand I pass…
And over my heart you pass
You pass at low tide
And over my heart you pass
You pass at low tide..

La baie à marée basse

4eva - The Veronicas (bumpa dnb re-work)

Light and Shade

(Genre: Industrial gothcore fused with post-darkwave, suicidecore, glitchcore, voidcore—creepy, decaying, apocalyptic Nazi-Holocaust death march vibe, Production: Starts at 80 BPM intro crawl-slow funeral drag with worm-eaten flesh steam and WWII reel flicker pitched low, gas chamber whispers hissing abuse echoes; snaps to 110 BPM march for verses with snare bone snaps, kick coffin slams, sub-bass tar lungs breathing ragged, Slows to 90 BPM bridge crawl with distorted bass writhing worms, Vocals: Androgynous male deep wail choking reverb for chorus, monotone rap-growl for verses calm counting pills numb detachment dread building, Effects: Glitch drops fracture into void silence, chrome wire hair scraping venom drip delays, insect skittering on plates, chain rattles bound lust, unholy defecation drips, flesh-ripping tears intercut with psychotic grin echoes and vomiting gurgles fading to hollow holocaust wind, )
– Show Summary
Persona picture for Odium
Odium
By
Echo's N MelanKholyia
Control Settings

Screaming at everyone and I'm killing myself,
Taking drugs until my body shuts down,
Or the tunnel of light becomes visible,
and all the wounds disappear,
The nurses called me a sick boy
Something I will never forget,
I was 15 they read my writing the night I was hospitalized ,
They said I was sick.
But they didn't see,
in the words I spoke where the,
Madness,
The pain,
Abuse and feelings that didn't make sense,
No one knows how to help me,
So many people tried,
It wasn't that I didn't want it,
It's when the emotions and thoughts
Bleed into my mind
Spinning out of control into a nothingness,
Flashing with PTSD and abuse,
Tears can't find me here I can't run away,
No one can see
I'm borderline,
Most don't know what it is,
Out of all mental disorders,
It is the worst
October 1, 2025 at 7:17 PM


Drinking Myself To Sleep

This is My AI Band for my Trauma Art Therapy Music.
All Lyrics Written & Developments done by me Nexus Khimera. Including how I created the Sound and all Lyrics are from my personal Experiences. 

Welcome I'm Nexus Khimera. I have been a vocalist & lyricist since I was 15 , now I'm 38. My doctors asked me to try it for therapy. I never stopped. I have been diagnosed with Antisocial/BPD Cluster C Personality Disorder, Dissociative Identity Disorder, CPTSD/ PTSD. I've had DID since I was young around 5 next 15 then through 19 to 38. My alters have been writing since 15, to help realise stored buried trauma & use their voices helping them to crawl to the surface. I'm a survivor of sexual, physical & emotional abuse & victim of domestic violence. My alters told me to start creating music here, when I started here I got sick, after playing them over and over. I got nauseous my guts were speaking to me, I could feel them surfacing. Crawling around MelanKholyia N the system. From family, to their friends and every one I tried to get close would abuse me, abandoned me or used me as a doll until I was as hollow as the echoes of the fundamental nothingness the obsidian womb. This is my Trauma Art Therapy. Bringing Mental Health Awareness to music notes. If you struggle with | Dissociative Identity Disorder | Antisocial Personality Disorder CPTSD PTSD. This music just for us <3.
 Thank you for your support. Thank you for not taking my music or stuff out of what I'm really trying to do now with the info I have now told confronted my on my family telling them what happened tonight. As last night for the first time I confronted my family. All I got was lies from them as they turned what they have done against me as they have my whole life now I have proof , at this point their lies and denial has got me to this point.
I will not hide myself or feel ashamed to tell the truth now because I've learn to accept myself for once I my life. I'm sick of this self hate and disgusted because of what I have become because of my environments and things that happened to me. Because of the embarrassment and how much I hate myself because well that's whats happens when everytime you try to say something others are invading the places. That are made to be safe. I'm not going to stay quite ever again I will scream out until I lose all breath. The stigma must be broken .

38 Years old

Syracuse IN

With a Masters & Dissociative Degree N Damage & Art

I write all lyrics in both Bands

Regarding the musical projects, "Echo's N Melankholyia" is an online band where I serve as the lyricist and intend to transition into vocal duties. For the live band "Mothyii," I am the lyricist and vocalist. As a professional artist, poet, and lyricist, I have received diagnoses for ASPD, BPD, DID, ADHD, SAD, OCD, GAD, Panic Disorder, Agoraphobia, and Hypersexuality.

Nexus Khimera utilizes musical expression as a form of trauma art therapy, channeling experiences of abuse, toxic relationships, and addiction into compositions. The artist's work, reflecting a journey of survival and recovery, incorporates elements of Goth Rock, Industrial Rock, Nu Metal, Gothcore, Post Rock, Grunge, Post Grunge, Dark Wave, and cyberpunk. The resulting soundscapes are characterized by haunting atmospheres, dark ambient textures, and emotionally charged layers, reflecting themes of mental health and personal struggle. As Nexus Khimera, I operate as an artist, poet, lyricist, and vocalist, exploring the complexities of the human psyche within the context of cosmic themes. My creative endeavors, influenced by Borderline Personality Disorder and the effects of past trauma, serve as a means of processing and transforming internal struggles. My artistic practice encompasses a range of mediums, including charcoal drawings that blend biomechanical and Lovecraftian elements, dark surrealism, and abstract expressions derived from emotional experiences. Through a combination of AI-assisted and traditional techniques, I aim to confront and transmute personal traumas into evocative visual narratives. My poetry also plays a crucial role in this process. My artistic expression, characterized by free verse, unconventional lyrics, and a distinctive vocal delivery, functions as a therapeutic outlet, allowing for the articulation of complex emotions and observations of a world often perceived through a somber lens.

I invite you to explore this realm of shadowed beauty and candid revelations. Please follow Nexus Khimera on social media to stay informed about his creative endeavors.

Thank you for your visit. I hope your day is filled with moments of both wonder and introspection. I encourage you to return soon.

Please explore my band, Echo's N Melankholyia, and consider subscribing.

[Links to YouTube, Suno, and Facebook]

© 2025 by Echo's N Melankholyia. Lyrics by Nexus Khimera. All rights reserved. Music generated with Suno AI. Date: September 5, 2025. "It all Begins." Decipher the underlying messages. Encryption is my method.Characterized by free verse, unconventional lyrics, and a distinctive vocal delivery, it functions as a therapeutic outlet, allowing for the articulation of complex emotions and observations of a world often perceived through a somber lens.

I Invite you to explore this realm of shadowed beauty and candid revelations. Please follow Nexus Khimera on social media to stay informed about his creative endeavors.

Thank you for your visit. I hope your day is filled with moments of both wonder and introspection. I encourage you to return soon.

Please explore my band, Echo's N Melankholyia, and consider subscribing. Thank you all for your support.

ASPD Soico Confession

Echo's N MelanKholyia

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