EVERY ANIMATION VS ANYTHING EVER!

ANIMATION VS ANYTHING: CH. III

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Count the Ways

CHESHIRE

Cheshire

follow dutch: www.instagram.com/dutchmelrose
follow benny: www.instagram.com/bennymayne

PRETTY PLEASE w/ benny mayne

WATCH THE MUSIC VIDEO:
https://youtu.be/yk9lp19Vwx8?si=LoCy2NCGYKAG7HXU

Eddiefrb as Eric Cartman
Langle as Charlie Brown

garbageGothic as Lucy van Pelt
littleflecks as Kyle Broflovski

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Eric Cartman:
Oh my god, Kyle. Shut the fuck up and listen
I just found the first jew that celebrates Christmas
(shut up fatass) That’s right Kyle. Mel Gibson tried to warn me
I’ll have to fuck his mom tonight. I hear she’s pretty horny
Charlie Brown, was it? it must be really tough
Living with both depression and leukemia
So if you really want me to apologize
Come on down to South Park and suck these balls of mine
Bitch, I’m dropping bombs, just in case you couldn’t tell
Like Imaginationland, I’ll leave Peanuts full of shells
‘Cuz I’m making fat stacks, my pocket’s on Kyle’s mom
You fucking Gooback, this battle is my job
The lone Christmas tradition for poor children like Kenny (uh)
I’ve seen comics stand on their own better from Jimmy (uh)
My job here is done - you’re totally boned
So like your actors at puberty, I’m going home

Charlie Brown:
Someone tell Linus to see who I’m stuck with
He’d be thrilled to finally meet the Great Pumpkin
You two are alike, though not that he’s racist
But you’re so insecure that you need blanket statements
So if you want attention, start by ditching the mask
It’s like your fans are raccoons ‘cuz they keep digging your trash
You’re crying censorship, “none of the networks care about us
By the way, stream our new specials on Paramount Plus”
With the hate speech you’re dropping, of course your ratings are bombing 
Now you’re just chasing the profit and saving face like Muhammad
I mean, you can’t take a joke and your politics are backwards
Good grief, at least Kanye’s a good rapper
I inspired the show that you copy all the time
You even stole the Simpsons’ sad and gradual decline
Became middle-of-the-road, you lost track of what you fight against
So it makes sense you’d end up living on the side of it


Eric Cartman:
Oof, Charlie, you’re breaking my balls here - what a zinger
Didn’t expect soul from the kid in love with a ginger
Look, brah, I know it’s hard - y’know, dying of cancer
But I’m here to tell you that suicide is not the answer
And don’t try to hide it, I can tell by your face
Everyone in your family thinks you’re a fucking disgrace
And I bet that your weight’s something they bully you for
‘Cuz you’re big boned like me, except way way more
But keep your two chins up, Charlie, don’t give in to fear
Who cares if you haven’t been relevant in 56 years
Who cares if all your friends secretly think you’re totally lame
Who cares if all the girls who respect you are totally gay
Damn it, I know it’s so hard, but man, you gotta hold on
‘Cuz middle aged moms would miss you so much if you were gone
You may have nothing to live for, but dude, you gotta let it go
No, no, Charlie, don’t do it, don’t do it, noooo!

Lucy van Pelt:
Why don’t you pick on someone your own size, you object
I’d say you’re too round to be a blockhead
But now that the shrink has arrived, you might shrivel
Given your rhymes, I’ll pick at your mind for no nickel
I’m guessing it all went wrong when your mother
Slept with so many wieners, you moved into another
Dad left her, and he was so happy with his new lover
‘Till you turned him into chili and then fed him to your brother
You repulsive freak! Nobody would love you in their right mind
Someone tell Heidi to hide and get her some iodine
All your friends think you’re an antisemitic ogre
No wonder Kyle hates you - pork isn’t kosher
You’re worthless! Hopelessly, utterly and completely
And I don’t sugarcoat it, cuz then you’d probably eat me
Here’s my final two cents, this counts for the winner
Spell it out, Charlie Brown!

Written & Directed by Eddiefrb
Mixed & Mastered by Freshy Kanal
Beat Arranged by GlitchDude
Beat prod. by bailey daniel and GlitchDude
Art by ryTchie
Coverart Design by Eddiefrb

Eric Cartman vs Charlie Brown - Rap Battle! (ANIMATION VS ANYTHING: CH. III)

WATCH THE MUSIC VIDEO:
https://youtu.be/vh-_OgEm_7s?si=M6Ed-Y5U8uQ732ue

RecD as Dr. Doofenshmirtz
True Evil Villain as Doctor Doom

Eric the Audible as Norm

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Doctor Doom:
Tune into the thrilling new beginning of Doom
The villain too illin’ who’s willing to prove it
You’ll never catch up with crimes like Heinz
Keep your two nickels, I got rhymes like dimes

Doom - not to be Confused with Doofenshmirtz
(The goofy twerp who’s Looney Tune contraptions usually work against him?)
Yes. Even my henchmen are ahead of you
Where’s your pedigree when your nemeses are a petting zoo

Your wife took Vanessa, then she left ya
That woman is your ex and they call me the Professor
She blew my Reed Richard, flipped it over, slammed it
Just one thrust and busted, like Candace

Now your chance of remarryin’ is very slim
As for Perry, I’d parry him, then bury him
Put the name of his gang on his grave
Just remember all caps - O.W.C.A

Dr. Doofenshmirtz:
Victor von Doom, how completely expected
And by Victor, I mean the next to be bested
I don’t remember inventing a mech this pathetic
(Sir?) Well, Norm’s the exception, but

I mean, just look at you! You act like you’re great
But one scratch and you grafted a mask to your face
I mean, geez, you could have at least tried some ointment
Or, you know, only put the mask on when you went out
I’m just saying, you had options here

I have a scheme that will haunt you much greater
Behold, the world’s tiniest violin-ator
It blocks the Latverian sun and kills your crops
Now there’s famine in your country and it just won’t stop
(Don’t stop!) I can’t stop, first I have to put this foe at ease
And prove he Ain’t Got Rhythm with no Platypus Controlling Me
After this defeat, go fix your nerd suit, Viktor
‘Cuz all your plans end with you saying CURSE YOU, RICHARDS!

Doctor Doom:
Pop the toolie on Balloony and blow you both full of holes
(THE IRON LEADER IS IN TOTAL CONTROL.)
Dude’s different - the dimwitted lose to true brilliance
And Doof’s an idiot while (DOOM WAS IMMINENT.)

(SOMETIMES THE BOMB MIGHT EXPLODE..
…WITHOUT ANY WARNING.)

Doom’s bomb’s ‘bout to blow - Doof, stop drop and roll
Spew hot coal like snot blowing through nostrils
Might pop pops in the dome and taunt “got your nose”
Father oughta go back to the garden gnomes guardin’ homes

Holmes, whatever the case is
Do it like kickball and cover all the bases
It’s a Fantastic stretch tryna conquer Latveria
But first, get in a state to try the Tri State Area

Landed in Danville, said “Take me to your Guv’nor”
Proceeded to have a wonderful supper with your brother
He said your mother doesn’t love ya - I don’t blame her
You spend your summers self-destructing your inators

What a failure - Gee, I wonder where’d the Time go
So down on his luck that now he’s bunkin’ with Milo
4 seasons and nothing to show for it at all
I guess once summer ends, then comes the fall

Dr. Doofenshmirtz:
As a kid in Gimmelschtump, our income was lesser
I was poorer than your live action track record
So growing up in your country might have been nice
But one thing Drusselstein did have is civil rights

So if we’re talking backstories, you’ve got it worse
Both your mom and your dad died while you were a boy
Neither of my parents showed up to my birth
But they missed all my birthdays entirely by choice

Messed with Mephisto and you took the L
Blew up your face and it got you expelled
Reed tried to warn you, you paid him back well
By sending his son foot-diving straight into hell!

You sacrificed your lover and the power drove you cuckoo
Good luck finding another lady that suits you
This isn’t a prank, no, my victory was foolproof
The trophy is Doof’s, and you’ll do what I say (woop woop!)

Written & Directed by Eddiefrb
Mixed & Mastered by Freshy Kanal
Beat Arranged by Eddiefrb
Beat prod. by bailey daniel and David Arcade Beats
Art by Lew Kreerdun and kayjaysee
Coverart Design by Eddiefrb

Dr. Doofenshmirtz vs Doctor Doom - Rap Battle! (ANIMATION VS ANYTHING: CH. III)

"The Pookeeper" - ZOOCHOSIS RAP

WATCH THE MUSIC VIDEO:
https://youtu.be/2y3qZQ18qDc?si=kDONaJMQfP_JhOEI

PE$O PETE as The Flying Dutchman
LIME KING as King K. Rool

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The Flying Dutchman:
As i travel through the trough, mixing terror with the tide
You should peep how i was sought, I see you lack won't bat an eye
Deeper down than all your thoughts, In a locker bitch i hide
Watch the clock? No, watch your mouth 
‘Cuz this right here that Captain's pride
Give you a fright, leaving him light
Cuz I took his loot, all his lackeys, and life
We give you a scare but I know you got something scarier
Buss out a mirror and look at that eye
Great blue depth only has one best when i pull my sword, shit won’t play nice
No way no weight to ya name, only weight in ya frame, bro, lay off them Lays, alright?
(Ha) He shoulda known never mess with the dutchman 
Rollin this king in a blunt now he dutch-man
(Damn) Never contest with the one man 
You ain't a villain, you more like a stunt man
King and his army all falling to one man
There's only one man scarin’ the spongeman
I got advice
You wanna live and go cherish your life? Then you better move

King K. Rool:
My name King K. Rool
Gon’ be cruel how I spray this ghoul where he stays
Make DK drool, banana clips in the tool when I aim 
These bullets gon’ pool in your face
How you let that square on your pirate crew? 
He can’t even pass boating school, the disgrace
Ew, how that boy smelling like stool?
He got a whole department of perfume at his place
Imma keep it a K, Pockets full with a K
Flip name how I rule with a K
NBA how my 2Ks dribble
If we duel it's a KO, we gon leave him bruised OK
Caught the fool 4K at the KK with 62 cents while the jewel on my cape 20K
How you stay underwater and still stay without drip?
I’ve seen better looking ghosts in the KKK
(shuh) I’m the motherfucking Crème de la Crème of the Kremlings
Men meet they end when my army's assembling
Got him trembling, they know who the king is
Doom is impending, thing is I’m a villain's villain
This boy is a bedtime story, I’m a king with millions 
I don’t take opinions, bitch, I rule these seas
You’re just one my civilians

The Flying Dutchman:
Oh yeah? Then show me
You live by the shore, that shit weak
Bro, it’s big man Dutchman - I'm in the deep
And if you wanna see, we take him beneath
Cuz if you want the sea, Lil’ bitch, thats a double 
You drowning in trouble, you fuckin with me
Like bro, stop pressing
We can sink ships right now and Dutchman fly out the wreckage 
Bitch, I’m flexin’
You shouldn't mess with a gas-green-ghoul
This tool leave em gangrene, cut out the boot
You say you a king but you second in line to your own IP, lil’ bitch, you a tool
He think he a king?
I put the K to his head like we gon’ see who rule
I pull up with 50 goons
Say you got all that drip? You a kiddie pool, dumb bitch

King K. Rool:
This Blunderbuss gon’ shut him up when I take a chunk out that man ship 
Know the handheld cannon be damaging
Nah, fuck that - King Krusher, I’m handing him hands again
He be all green, so when I flame him I get baked like a ramekin
Why would I panic? This phantom be a damn embarrassment
He must forget that his opps turned that man to a mannequin
(And that’s canon)
So he’d only pass me if I was a window shopper
We don’t send him to school, just to Davy’s locker
Imma kill him like he wasn’t dead already
Got the Blast-o-matic, we gon’ singe his block and not a thing will stop me
Bullets gon’ fly, bitch, there been a chopper in my backpack
Imma clap back like they hit my belly

Written by PE$O PETE, LIME KING and Eddiefrb
Directed by Eddiefrb
Mixed & Mastered by Freshy Kanal
Beat prod. by Natsu Fuji
Beat Arranged by Eddiefrb
Art by BMB
Coverart Design by Eddiefrb

The Flying Dutchman vs King K. Rool - Rap Battle! (ANIMATION VS ANYTHING: CH. III)

WATCH THE MUSIC VIDEO:
https://youtu.be/eUtOsxSAYSU?si=85AjEtWSp_e1P3E7

Keyblade as Puss in Boots
The Stupendium as The Cat in the Hat

Freeced as the Narrator
Snakebite126 & Eddiefrb as Thing 1 & Thing 2

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Puss in Boots:
Folks claim he’s best of clothed fame
Dressed to impress, and head to toe draped
From the feather in his cap, the eyes, face and the purr
The danger in his genes, and the boots with the fur

I am Puss in Boots! Hola and ole
You’re next to know I am next to no name (ha)
Legend to MAP, let me give you advice
Go hitchhike to the Wishing Star and get a life (ha)

El Macho Gato, patea tu culo
Keeping you Far, Far Away from a school zone
Frisky Two Times with the kids at the door
They don’t wanna hear you say Thinga-ma-jigger no more

Now I’m catching this stray, tossing him out on the street
What kind of cat needs help getting back on his feet
Yes, I draw first blood, like the doctor’s answer
And I go for the throat like your author’s cancer (ha)

The Cat in the Hat:
My, that was lots of good fun (said the Cat.) That was fun that was funny, in fact (hm)
But one thing to know about me (said the Cat.) is that I tend to always come back 
(OH YEAHH!)
(Cat in the what?)

I keep two things in the back brick
Quick to make you disappear like a hat track
(Cat in the what?)

Begged Shrek, asked him “bring back the magic”
You’re not a classic, Cat in the Hat is
(Cat in the what?)

My my, you haven’t faced time kindly
Got nine lives - it looks like you’ve lived ninety
How did you get packed up by a lone wolf, bro
Better pack it up and move back to the old folks’ home

I’m just checking in since your parents are missing
I’m family friendly, you’ve been after kitties
‘Cuz the altar escape put your marriage on a soft pause
It altered your mate, now it’s as if Kitty’s got claws

Reunited again with Perrito
But she’s not impressed by your little gatito
And she knows that she won’t compete with your ego
So next time you die - (adios, amigo!)


Puss in Boots:
Life is a journey and death is a given
The pages are turned as our stories are written
Your legacy’s tethered to Seuss’s estate
And defaced by the hatred he paved in his place

It has been a lifetime since the Doctor was in
And his racism tainted the pages he penned
As he propped propaganda art for armed citizens
Death of the author caught the dog whistling

Mejor empaca tus cosas si me cuelo en tu balcón 
Todo el daño a la propiedad que hay en mi casa lo hago yo 
Tu live action hizo que hasta la señora Seuss se ralle 
Ni Shrek hizo ver tan desagradable a Mike Myers

Fight me if must, flee me if you’re scared
Face me if you can, fear me if you dare
You’re done running away, the kids have had enough
I’m dropping the mic - now, pick it up

The Cat in the Hat:
Pick it up? Gladly! I’ll pick up the flow
To diss this misfit? Oh, The Places I’ll Go
You call me a stray? You’re an orphan
Who stole from his own hometown for his fortune, then scorned it

Alexander banked on you to free him but you didn’t
You ran from the militia and abandoned him in prison
Took the greatest of falls into the plan that he was hatching
Soon as you tried to get laid, he got you back

And now all the horses and (men) could never begin to (mend)
Or put you and Humpty’s (friend)ship back together (again)
Buddy has been stalking before the beanstalk
And better believe bested you ‘till his scheme stopped and he dropped

Now, what would you do when brother’s plans were foiled
Couldn’t take the fall, you made him take it for you
Unless you mend fences a whole awful lot
Then your legacy’s end is once Death has you caught 


Written by Eddiefrb (English) and Keyblade (Spanish)
Directed by Eddiefrb
Mixed & Mastered by Freshy Kanal
Beat prod. by GlitchDude and Freshy Kanal
Art by theladylyra and Mothmancha
Coverart Design by Eddiefrb

Puss in Boots vs The Cat in the Hat - Rap Battle! (ANIMATION VS ANYTHING: CH. III)

WATCH THE MUSIC VIDEO:
https://youtu.be/OJIl2Eing_c?si=EbRd3YUGQMwDRwmH

LongestSoloEver as Mr. Wolf
Eddiefrb as Dog Man

KingSpirals as Sarah Hatoff

Mr. Wolf:
yes… yes…
Yes! Guess who’s in the verse
Lupus steal like Lupin the third
Peach fuzz buzz cut, dude, hit the curb (woah)
You don’t wanna chase me, pooch, stick to squirrels

Hit the Triple Flip-O-Rama with the fleece
And judging by your art, they defunded the police
Half-human head over heels for poodles - guess frou-frou appeals to ya
True blue feeling of Zuzuphilia

You and I are alike, we’ve been to prison
But you didn’t do time for the crimes that you committed
And when I said I gathered a team and got a jump on police and hit a lick on the chief
It’s pretty different

The only thing you snatched is Petey the Cat’s cradle
Did him just like his whiskers - took one off his side later
Hats off! Had to put you on the news, half-wit
Half-dog, half-man, 100% pig

Sarah Hatoff:
We interrupt this blooper to bring you an exclusive
Breaking News! Sarah Hatoff, reporting for duty
The Bad Guys tried to take the track and failed
Now they’re being hauled straight to Cat Burglar Jail

(wow!) That sounds great, our hero is a trooper
No matter what we need him to do, he’d be like (Supa!)
Now I think it’s high time for me to introduce the
Half-dog, half-man, 100% SUPA COP
DOG MAN!

Dog Man:
(ruff!) 
Your gang’s stuck in handcuffs
Make like the whole crowd and put your hands up
Whether it’s a guinea or the fuzz you screw with
When up against the piggies, you huff, puffed, and blew it

Tell me who’s the half-wit with the crew straight-laced
When you got double-crossed by a dude named Snake
and when it comes to custody, you better pay your bail
I’ll be hanging with Lil Petey, you’ll be left hanging in jail

Mr. Wolf:
Easy there, Paw Patrol, don’t do something drastic
Stick to acting as Living Spray for Scholastic
No-showed by Al, can’t go home to Alice
You hired Yung Gravy cuz you flow like molasses

Dog Man:
I gave the whole industry some Cannery Grow
You gave up your soul for your film to stand on its own
‘Cuz Dreamworks needed Awkwafina just to get the Webs talking
I’d throw the book at you if anybody had a copy

Mr. Wolf:
Well, If you wanna book me, I’m thinking this crook should
I should call you Marmalade, cuz you’re making me look good
You got your wires crossed, and blew the fuse together
Then doubled your stupidity when you fused together

Somehow stitched your body back up but never your broken life
Now you’re stuck wallowing in dog days and lonely Knights
You’re chasing your own tail, let me throw your girl a bone
Your separation was warranted cuz nobody was home

Dog Man:
I’m top dog, and I’m fellin’ the felon that’s stepping up
Pretending he fell in line the second he fell in love
I’m Diane to fetch bandits lying with fed branches
Bring in the Crimson Paw, I’d catch her red-handed

You’re all bark, perp - lazy
Forget Dog Man, you’re caught up on Purse Lady
Before this twerp breaks free, I’ll muzzle him, making him stay quiet
And we’ll forever both have the right to remain (silent)

Written & Directed by Eddiefrb
Beat prod. by meantime
Mixed & Mastered by Freshy Kanal
Cover Art by TerminalRepo & BMB
Cover Design by Eddiefrb

Mr. Wolf vs Dog Man - Rap Battle! (ANIMATION VS ANYTHING: CH. III)

Cinematics (Expanded Edition)

Partners in Crime (feat. Ash Costello)

After months of work and hours of dedication, my new series Animation vs Anything is finally starting. Thanks to everyone who helped out!

Eric the Audible as Gumball
Eddie's Rap Channel as Darwin

SkeepTieel as Calvin
Seth W. as Hobbes

Calvin and Hobbes (0:20):
 
I’m not whistling Dixie when I say my intro’s decent
Cure your permanent Joy virus with the real world’s treatment
If you’re terrified of Tina, you can’t fight Calvinosaurus
It’s a pro Cub Scout against two dolts lost in the forest
I’ve got the eye of a tiger - and the maw of a disser
Used to fire deadly shots like a Spaceman Spiffer
G.R.O.S.S won’t accept a crossdressing androgynous imbecile
Tackle and knock you old Ni-cold for your Spittle’s principle
Tickled Pinky Malinky and now your fame just eludes me
You’re against Copycats, but you’re two replicas of Susie?
With your stale style, Gumball, don’t bite off more than you can chew
I’m sure with your verses this battle will be called HIP FLOP 2!
 
Gumball and Darwin (0:48):
 
Uh… Who are you again? Seriously, I can’t tell a bit
Let’s use their Time Machine to go back to when they were still relevant
On the track, i’ve got bite - an Alligator on the Train
You better stuff it! Thought you’d win? Were you imagining again?
I Dodge and Dare you to bite the Bullet that i’ve been Tracing
Can’t handle flow - you hate bathing! My World and rhymes are Amazing!
People find your jokes hi-Larry-ous, but I find it nefarious
A schizophrenic terror kid who’s tiger is his therapist
You better call up Tobias to be your friend
Because your only other one appears to be out for your head
Use your Cerebral Enhance-O-Tron or give us the Writers Block
But your wounds from the Cretinizer? Quite visible when you talk
 
Calvin and Hobbes (1:16):
 
Heh, he got you there. Shut up, Hobbes, don’t you hiss at me
I can invent rhymes so sweet they call me Calvin, Boy of Diss-tiny
But i’m thinking outside the cardboard box in order to wage War on
They should change Zach’s legal name to “Elmoron”
I won’t make a Hobbes Creek, you’ve got no sign that my flow’s tough
This is the second rap you spat proving that you need to grow up
You got de-Moe-lished on the mic! Your verses left this tiger snoring
I’m tired of spitting lyrics now. Let’s go exploring!
 
Gumball and Darwin (1:34):
 
What the what? That’s Richard. You need to Ketchup with your Raps
This slow Tiger’s queries would flow better in Trap!
When we Complete Calvin and Hobbes, these two Simians won’t be Missed
An Un-Responsible kid and his jaw dropping comic stripped
The only Bombs you can drop are Chocolate Frosted Sugar
Your series couldn’t Carrie it’s weight and now Bill’s a pencil pusher
And you’re pushing Daisies like Anais - no longer in the paper
Washed up by our Watterson flow! Now you’ve met your maker!

Written by Eddie
Mixed by SkeepTieel
Prod. by Sean Divine

Gumball and Darwin vs Calvin and Hobbes - Rap Battle (ANIMATION VS ANYTHING)

This was originally planned to be the fifth battle, but due to casting issues the second and fifth battle have switched places on the schedule. Nonetheless, I hope you enjoy!

CookieSaurus as XJ-9
Eddie as Mighty No. 9

XJ-9:

It’s Jenny.
And I reckon that Beck will be coming second
‘Gainst a force to be reckoned with, best you in a nanosecond
Even Sheldon’s more threatening to me than your wreck of a weapon
Tried to Vexus but your over-Xel-ously ended up deceptive
Wanting to gain my rap skills? That’s no reason to Kickstart a fight!
It’s clear you were screwed loose from the start - under black or greenlight
Go Cryosphere me a river and short circuit! No money back
At any AcXelerate you know i’m a-head on this track
I can’t ig-Nora Raggedy Android - who’s mascot of a Brand… ish
I’m Calling out your stolen Comcept repackaged as Mega Man’s kin
Bringing the cam-pain to a foe Mezmer-izing and fueling fake fans
It’s a Sibling Tsunami when I leave SANDA in my Wake, man!
                                              
Mighty No. 9:
 
I’ll leave you crying like it’s prom night - lest you use Sheldon to show off
He’s stooped so low that my foe is now a MILF As A Teenage Robot
You can proceed with Call Hating but we’re with CherryDyn, on top!
At least I actually made money! You were a commercial flop
You’re in need of a Hostile Makeover (Ha!) Better Tuck and cover
When you’re dismantled, your ReXelection would be quite the Cluster
I’d say this Monkey ain't so Wise despite her use of the Trinity
Prepare for a Future Shock because it would take years to finish me            
The strength of a million men seems hidden in this XJW
Your followers seem to love screening your chest - like your mother’s news
You walk among your League Of Legends as Robot Boy’s Krust-y Cousin
Nick nicked you of you show and Nick Yu nicked you of your win

XJ-9:

You got thousands of people to fund a game that is lifeless
But thinking you could beat me as a stretch goal is priceless
I squash bugs your game is riddled with! Surpassed by your labrats!
You’ll have nothing to show and tell when I take you for Masterclass!

Mighty No. 9:

You Are The Robot - thus you lack humane behaviour
But you should be avid in my philosophy: it’s a no-brainer!
Their Neighbour Was A cool Teenage Robot - before the redesign
Now a Silver Shell of her former self - Megaman X-J-9

Amazing Cover Art drawn by Geon
Written by Eddie
Mixed by Skeep
Prod. by Kustom

NEXT BATTLE: Doritos (ft. Leannaire)

XJ-9 vs Mighty No. 9 - Rap Battle (AvA CLASSIC)

screw this i'm wierdmageddon sick of the ava schedule

Released in conjunction with AvA's sister series Danganronpa vs Anything's premiere! Check it out and give him a look: https://soundcloud.com/danganronpavanything/chiaki-nanami-vs-dva-danganronpa-vs-anything-1

Leannaire as Peridot
Fel as The Flatwoods Monster

Peridot:

*ahem* Here’s the drill, you corrupted cryptid
I’m sure to leave a burnt metallic odor inflicted
On this twisted thing so it can’t cause humans harm
By removing this clodpated owl from my barn!
*Peridot grumbling noises* Not a stretch to erect you defective
When even your very permanence comes into question
When Pumpkin warned me of a danger - I assumed it would be that
Not a Braxton brat left like his name and fame - Flat!


The Flatwoods Monster:

Is your win’s existence evident? Let’s gather the evidence
You drone on more than those that defend your residence
Homeworld’s logic is astounding - they’ve made an Era 2
I’ll be taking Lapis out of your life - you’re feeling blue
Shud a Lil’ Butler step up in this bout
I’ll prove you’re not unique - I cast the shadow of a doubt
Staring sadly at the figure your irate dog ate
While your Campy Pining Heart couldn’t even keep a Log Date

Peridot:

I don’t think my Message was Received, judging by your torment
You just keep spitting things that get flushed down the toilet
The point is - I’m prevailing in this verbal Gem War
So I order you to get out my dimension, 10 4?
You’d like a Log Date, wouldn’t ya? Got a thing for tree trunks
But now the Flatwoods Monster’s unable to touch stumps
*NYEHEHEH!* That Will Be All, you Flatwoods clod
There will be no escape pod when displayed as a fraud

The Flatwoods Monster:

Towering over this Mistake, like my name was Yellow Diamond
When I’m spitting fire balls to leave this Breakfast Friend Crying
Don’t get con-fused, prude, when you’re blacked out and and caked in goo
I sighted Doritos and Mountain Dew fused, it was you!
Step out of your Uni-verse and face me in tangibility
For I shall spare this Clusterf*** due to her lack of ability
So you can save your “wow, thanks” and your feeble skills from Steven
Before I leave you and this battle cut clean like cleavage..


Amazing Cover Art drawn by Geon
Written by Eddie
Mixed by Skeep
Prod. by Hollywood Legend Productions

NEXT BATTLE: It's not my fault you game is terrible, i'll abuse this! (ft. Mancha)

Extra bonus tidbits for those who read the description (ily)

- Next battle will be the first shorter battle. Every fourth battle is going to be a less important 8-8-4-4 in order to use some secondary characters I wouldn't normally use.

- This was the first battle ever written for AvA, back before AvA was even conceived. I considered making the series "Cryptids vs Anything" for a brief period of time after writing this,

- The Gumball and Darwin vs Calvin and Hobbes vid is being worked on by plenty of talented peeps, and it will hopefully be out soon.

Peridot vs The Flatwoods Monster (2017) - Rap Battle (AvA CLASSIC)

im the coolest meme-meister in the USA

Mancha as Poochie
Boris as Parappa the Rapper

Poochie:

The name’s Poochie D, and i’ve got something to say
The Cool-est dudemeister leaves you neutered and spayed
I’ll make ya cry when I cut up Master Onion
Colonel Noodle here can’t do nothing by kickin’ and punchin’
U RAPPIN’ AWFUL when compared to the Simpsons
Your father messed up when he invented this shrimp son
I put a spin on my cartoon much like a vinyl
Lammy shows that your maker learned to always recycle!

Parappa:

Kick! Punch! It’s all in the mind!
If you wanna test me, i’m sure you’ll find
I’m alright, go back to sittin’ in the car
While I make like the Simpsons and drop the bar
You’ve made it! I’m spittin’ a Fireworks Factory
Your measly one Stage was unsatisfactory
So head to your planet that needs you, they’re brainless
No need to smell me later when inhabiting Uranus!


Poochie:

Chill out, hot dog, and take it on the Joe Chin
Cut it out! Like your in-game appearance, your flow’s thin
It’s hard to Fleaswallow you think you’re better, mutt
You gotta believe that I just kicked your butt

Parappa:

Throwing some cel shade sends you straight to the vet
I’m set with Sunny, but for you, the sun’s set
You’ve got a bad rap, and here you haven’t been redeemed
Killed the mic like your character: 2D EXTREME!

Cover Art by Eddie
Written by Eddie
Mixed by Boris
Prod. by Marsad Men

NEXT BATTLE: Wait like an hour (ft. garbageGothic)

Extra bonus tidbits for those who read the description (Gonna make this a thing now)

-This was the second AvA I ever wrote. It was written for this series unlike Peridot vs Flats, but it was made while the name of the series was still "Cartoons vs Anything".

-I did credit him properly above, but I want to give a special shoutout to Boris who was incredibly helpful with the making of this battle. He suggested additions for Parappa that I hadn't thought of, he mixed the battle (this is the first AvA that Skeep didn't mix) and he is editing Parappa's parts. Thanks man, couldn't have done it without you.

-For a brief point of time, this beat (Mary Pt. 2 by Marsad Men, if anyone is wondering) was my all time favourite beat and I am really excited that I got to use it.

-Mancha re-recorded Poochie last minute which is why this battle came out today instead of yesterday.

PREVIOUS HINT EXPLANATION:
"It's not my fault your game is terrible, i'll abuse this!"

Pretty obvious, it's a direct rip of one of Poochie's lines from CMRB's Itchy and Scratchy vs Tom and Jerry but replacing "show" with "game" because Parappa is a game

Poochie vs PaRappa the Rapper - Rap Battle (ANIMATION VS ANYTHING)

woa that was fast

Eddie as Mickey Mouse
garbageGothic as PIkachu

Mickey Mouse:

Oh boy! A Mimikyu is finna lose who can’t be dubbed Mouse
Mickey’s primed to spit a Diss-ney and escalate to a Club-house!
You might spit fire like Ho-Oh, like Johto with Gold flow
But i’m already turned to Ash, my films never get old, no!
We aren’t cos-playing around with your fashion, guy
Couldn’t cure your dead series with a Max Revive
It shouldn’t come down to a measly app deciding
If your cash can keep your rehash alive
You only land subtle jabs when you try to Pokeball
When I drop the gloves with these hands - Gotta Catch Em All!


Pikachu:


What a shocker! You’re Plane Crazy and this phony’s gonna crash
Try to step up with Walt’s? At least my owner likes me more than cash
When we don’t see eye to eye - Pikachurin for more than Leers
I will direct my current flow front and center into your ears!
I’m used to taking names in a Pokerap
Fighting me is amiss - call it Focus Blast
After 20 years, you gon need a Potion fast
Pokemon’s taken over - your whole trope has passed
You blow off some Steamboat Willie as soon as Pikachu wants to fight
But a wild Oswald thief appears to still be black and white

Mickey Mouse:

Children start with a blank Pallet - my charm is what they inherit
Your animal cruelty is in bad taste to children and parents
Think of yourself as ambi-Dex-trous with your anime and games?
You stole from me so much that they should nickname you Jesse and James
You want to ketchup with this hot dog? Let me give you The Pointer
Disney’s Landed a legacy lacking your trailer spoilers
Your franchise relies on multiple di-versions  with a “brand new” guise
But it will make a difference when people stop buying your pair o’ lies (paralyze)

Pikachu:

Sticks and stones may make my bones stronger as a solution
But this stoner should’ve learned the theory of evolution
For Pete’s sake! In this Melee you’re comparable to Pichu
Mice are attracted to cheesiness so I chews you!
With my enticing device I prove lightning strikes more than twice
When this Baller shines Light into your eyes, There will be four blind mice!
Go toe to Indigo Plateau with me? You’re out of my League in rap
So you best knock on Oak’s door and apply as a lab rat!

Coverart by Eddie
Written by Eddie
Mixed by Skeep
Prod. by Beatg33kz

NEXT BATTLE: Elementary (ft. Legion & Allymations)