the sky that day

** ambient sc finds 2023 ^^

Don’t read it because she’s lying (she knows it so she shows it). Don’t think this much at home. If u got platitudes in yo head…..JUST DONT SAY EM.

Feels like a lie like my heart is going to pump out of my chest. A lie about my conventionality to people that don't matter, also a lie about my growth to people that do. A lie about my person to everyone. There is a schism of where I am and where I want to be that can only be achieved by long term investment but I just crave crave crave crave to be instantly gratified. LOL. I should not delete this stupid caption to acknowledge the shame of self-betrayal and the wound it leaves. I write this to depart from the dead skin but not dispose of it. Read and weep at All these dumb platitudes that aren't even funny. Because all these funny insincere words are just me lying to everyone like I used to. To everyone's long-term detriment but to postpone a short-term realization of shame. Because I am literally too guilty all the time to even bear a moderate average amount of shame. I want to be stronger than this but I'm trapped in the cyclical need for strength to handle the shame I feel constantly but lie about to not confront because Ultimately I lack that strength but I need the strength, I need to break the cycle. Sorry for the dumb caption originally. I want to be as funny as I can even when I'm incapable because I don't want to be alone. I need constant validation even though I am self aware of the fact I should try to be strong enough to stand alone with an internal understanding that I am valid. I want this to be temporary, so I am sorry for the time being where I am not where I want to be. I will achieve this growth by the correct and most sustainable means, however long it takes.

FebMar 23

collab with this super cool guy @suji_scared

unstable but we will be okay=========

lyrics :
(inu)
i just want to run away
but you're still here
so alive and stay
i'm still struggling with my fate
sometimes try it another way

i'll find a way and walking down the street like a player
wasting time, playing all night, we stay young
unstable, killing バグ
unfinished and falling out the window

unforgettable memories
i can't sleep at night, i can't
their voices in my head
it's up to me
endure not to lose myself

(suji)
so can u feel the weight
and all the pain 
memories starting to fade away 
won't be the same 
and I'll try to find my way
and be okay, yeah 

all my thoughts are filled with clouds 
voices screaming way to loud 
in my head
it's all in my head

inu + suji : still here

2on the way2 heaven

mistake my heartbeat
invisible to you
stare at the painting
your world in my room

same as my own

angel in the courtyard
looks the same as my own
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
second part prod. https://soundcloud.com/assonanceyeet
extra backing vox by https://soundcloud.com/karnaboy

116-B

Heartbeat (w/Blissful Fields)

Heartbeat (w/ Blissful Fields)

https://soundcloud.com/acounta/peach-ring-tokyoghost
shoutouts to @acounta @lilac @emotegi

Spotify

cat girl

𝓗𝕆𝕨 ｔ𝔥ｅ ᔕкч ωคｓ

@yungsherman

𝓗𝕆𝕨 ｔ𝔥ｅ ᔕкч ωคｓ

;-4'↕ʚїɞ

@y4ndere @h1yori

i rest my head and sleep pretending
that i am fine and that i never let you down
fall in this cycle of unwanted actions
suicidal an unconscious state of mind x2

thinking back
i realize
i was too blind
now my heart is numb
you were never honest
this time i can tell
you always break your promise
wish i could be indifferent
my brain is in dissonance
  
this burden that i carry
wish you could see thru my eyes
you said that i should grow up but
you could never live my life
and i would never trade it 
i know that ill make it thru
the night, ill be fine

ive been self reflective lately
i know i cant fix everything 
but it feels like im running out of air
every time i wake up and youre not there

fine「prod. yandere + hiyori」

betrayed 「prod. yandere」

clear

2 times too

prod: yandere
vocals: kerosene + crescent
lyrics written by: yandere + crescent

Stream us on Spotify! https://open.spotify.com/artist/5EyYculuuhEIKCu9IClSV7

;-4'↕ʚїɞ

Ein (@ein.garden)