stars in my eyes yeah
i can finally relax cause i feel it working in through my bloodstream
something clean
ive been sitting in a boat in a lake in a dream

ask for water
then i promptly throw it up just like everything i was tell the nurse im
sorry
didnt mean
to spiral out just knew i couldnt take these things

maybe it was clear
planned for fourteen at the worst, barely made it through the first, then my blood was
coarse with
little crystals with their edges they would tear up little vessels in my eyes and kidneys
pretty sure to be the death of me

harm thats hard to state
it was complicated then, premeditated without end, not sure how
much i knew
deathbed
sleeping bag on the shield mo(u)rning ill be dead


shut my eyes to the tide
didnt get much sleep that night
i never make up my mind
drowning now run out of time


you take me underwater

underwater

Full album out at: cerah.bandcamp.com/album/rising

now i need to keep it on
all the time
cause if i dont my blood turns black ill surely die

so i been living on and off
between the lines
switch to syringes when im hinging on the high

till i depend on something i was running from
no longer working so my body comes undone
i feel addicted to afflictions i dont own
losing control and it gets worse since ive begun


ive had it on for 13 years it becomes the norm
feel disconnected when i drop it from my body
im tossing turning till its wrapped around my form
strangulation oxygen till i go foggy


i cant go on if its not on me
i drop myself and it turns ugly
i build resistance to my body
rejection and it just turns bloody


so i keep it on doctors orders
i stock supplies like a hoarder my disorder
my cells will burst and vessels grind life gets shorter
was better before i knew about it
keep me blind

i was happier when all my parts were mine
i cant cope with all the changes over time
how i get to be so rundown call that fine
call prescriptions cause im falling way behind


like another zombie

dependant

full album out at: https://cerah.bandcamp.com/album/rising

you tell me its sunday
and that makes it okay
this was a cheat day

we can do anything
till its a little bit monday
you dont care anyway


wake up stashing the keys
cause im a little hungover
you swear youll get sober

were trading blood for blood
i swear that its over
been that way since october

i have a habit of kicking that can
till its open
things start to get broken

get sick from waiting up we're
just barely coping


you wrote on the walls
of the home you were renting
made it seem like it meant things

now it looks so empty
they washed it with chlorine
didnt know what it meant to me

the more time that im spending
with you in the morning
everything just gets boring

you put up some shelves
to cover stains on the flooring
the first of your warnings


you start to succumb
realize you were just young and dumb
only stayed cause we needed someone
everybody else just seemed to run
so you stick with what you run from

since october

https://cerah.bandcamp.com/album/rising

passing by your house again im reminded of sitting on your floor
you moved away a couple years ago but im thinking about you more
stuck between daydreams right now remembering to slowly shut you out
been trying to remember to forget some things to be more like myself

so i get fucked up again


constantly in a daze, feel the weeks, stay the same, grab at things, i cant keep
anymore
drop right to the floor
gradually the ringing in my ear it starts to grow into a roar
damaged from the replaying of voicemails ive been keeping on my phone
im trying to be okay with deleting things i wasnt meant to own

still fucks me up again


i cant follow
so i wallow again
i cant follow
cant go back to then

moved away

https://cerah.bandcamp.com/album/rising

so what now
think i should think some more
youve been around forever like my favorite corner store

i grab a drink
you grab a light
i pop the can and think that i should be alone tonight

a mess
i cant get to things now its always next
focus
i gotta get some things off of my chest

taxes
literally ignoring to write this
distracted
i cant get shit off of my mind


ever
ive got a hole in my head and i fill it up with shit
to do each day
a break

like im splitting at the seams in many ways
i break
i wanted to be more than my mistakes


so what now
i call to tell you all about
all the bills that ive stacked up theyre getting more than i can count

and now
youre getting frustrated from how
i can put off all the things that i should really care about

its not the doc
not my credit
its the ticking of the clock

time will run out
time will run out
and ive already forgot

that youve been waiting round a lot

i put you off

i get so lost

put you off

https://cerah.bandcamp.com/album/rising

im waiting out in the cold and its barely morn
better than in your car even if its warm

i like it dark
never watched the sun come up then
kinda hurts my heart
but i could never really see us as friends

im blinded by the city blocks
taking cutters to electric box

ill make this look like i want
change it up till it stops



i make other plans
gonna get out of the city make myself whole again
if i dont i dont know what i can do again

cause i cant come back to the same old shit i been
i cant come back to the way things were back then

make me think twice before i think of you again


make me think twice before i remember that shit
make me think twice i dont want to remember it

think twice

full album: https://cerah.bandcamp.com/album/rising

i need a break cause ive
been working like i have
stay up late with you
ive been trying to relax

you check my eyes
they have already collapsed
i never have much time and i spend it
tryna get it back

but then i fall asleep while im standing up
there in front of me my arms still reaching out
i think i now believe that i can be enough
is that love


you got me trying trying to try
i love you wasting all of my time
you got me falling falling behind
behind behind


i fear i never quite felt that
all of the roses looking back
but in the midst of it i couldnt just relax
i think thats my fault too

never quite convinced myself to feel something
try not to think cause i think im lying
i do the motions just to come clean
ill ask my next dream



for something
i cant ever sleep cause its not nothing
just take me back to when its comforting
to when it felt like it was nothing

i dream of you when i dream of something

dream of you

we broke it off in spring
i barely felt a thing
a symptom of a growing
feeling that started to

keep me up when i sleep
tossing and turning in dreams
i feel safer if i see
you in place of me


you were at mu
i almost went there too
would i survive if id a been you
its just the truth when i dont try to call it

with you with you
do i know the difference
what i want is to be this

confident
in my own skin
confident
from within

gets worse every day

gets worse

i don't believe in fate, but i want to

full album "meant to be" out september 24, 2025

It Always Means More to Me

with love

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