allostatic load - fail better, heal faster

i've run out of things to write
find me in the side of light
sweating little bullets i can't handle it it's blinding bright
u got mad at me for singing songs that never told u lies
im angry and confused 
but neither thanks to u
see i want some fucking answers
but none that u can give me
my mother always said that god would send me to her city
i don't even wanna go
i want to stay right here
i've fallen for this simple life and everybody here
the last few years were scary but it's finally looking up
now we're safe and sound and we can look around and finally see the trees
the willows weep for me

willows, weep for me

cross on my mind

adolescent dreams

the life we knew

take mine now
wait till my eyes black out 
where there’s still a small sound
in the way now 
it’s too much now 
how can i control how 
my blood comes out 
or how im sounding
talk with eyes
never without mine 
two gifts i open each night 
i guess that’s what they say right 
how can i sound out
every word for you and i
i feel so unable 
how’s my life 
why’d you ask about mine now
every single time 
i see this some how 
with my mind 
with what i lost now 
my teeth still want to find 
underneath

blackout

Listen Everywhere at Linktr.ee/EmptyCanvs

(LYRICS)
What are the odds that my bones are just hollow, 
Filled up with mice and these pills that I swallow, 
Zoloft done worn off but I still taste it,  
I hope to God that I learn from my hatred, 
There are still toys left all over the pavement, 
Lost little child I know someone will save him, 
Something will, something will, 
Something will save him, 
Something will, something will, 
Something will save him, 

Lost little child I hope something will save him, 
Lost little child I hope something will save him,
Lost little child I hope something will save him,
Something will, something will, 
Lost little child I hope someone will save him, 
Lost little child I hope someone will save him, 
Lost little child I hope someone will save him, 
Someone will, someone will, 

What are the odds that my bones are just hollow, 
Filled up with mice and these pills that I swallow, 
Zoloft done worn off but I still taste it,  
I hope to God that I learn from my hatred, 
There are still toys left all over the pavement, 
Lost little child I know someone will save him, 

Lost little child I hope something will save him, 
Lost little child I hope something will save him,
(What are the odds that my bones are just hollow,) 
Lost little child I hope something will save him,
(Filled up with mice and these pills that I swallow,) 
Something will, something will, 
(Zoloft done worn off but I still taste it,) 
Lost little child I hope someone will save him, 
(I hope to God that I learn from my hatred,) 
Lost little child I hope someone will save him, 
(There are still toys left all over the pavement,)
Lost little child I hope someone will save him, 
(Lost little child I know someone will save him,) 
Someone will, someone will,

save him

beckoning

not like that

you came back to a place
where nothing feels the same
now that we both made a mistake
but honey you came back
you came back from everything
we wanted to end

but everything you wanted
you could find in someone else
that isn't quite as lost or broken
as this left me

so actually lets close the door
and i actually will turn the key
and we'll actually start moving on
because actually
you want to be with someone else
someone with stronger hands
to find the balance of being held
without the burden of holding back
and i just want to be myself
around anyone

so no i don't hate you at all
we're all just looking for something to look forward to
the little single moment that stops the earth from turning
a little piece of something that makes this all feel worth it
it goes on and on and on

i look for it in everyone
i look for you in everyone

the balance of being held

silly love - daniel johnston cover

Two songs written and recorded in fall 2016, returned to and released in fall 2019.

Stream: levelmusic.lnk.to/WhatWelcoming
Download: germanerrormessage.bandcamp.com/album/what-welcoming-hand-comes-down

What welcoming was in me then?
What calming wind?
When my heart had opened up
accepting some wisdom

Homes full of holes
honey dripped in a
blue afternoon

What is comfort?
I am interested!
I am interested
I'm interested

I don't remember getting home
Tried to stop thinking

Yeah
I am fine
but not amused
Kind
but not excused
From feeling that weight

What is the loss that you've welcomed?
Who is the "you" in all your songs?
Go wear new clothes
my hair grows long

Do you know what the dream means now?
I was lost but it's okay how
I won't remember anything
Sing songs to the ground
About the way the language changed
No great unveiling

What Welcoming

Sเt baςк... гєɭax... taкє a dєєp bгєatђ... ɭєt ץ๏uг tг๏ubɭєร fคdє... aภd ɭєt mє paเภt ץ๏ย a pเctยгє ยp๏ภ tђє c∆nvs... 

Headphones are just hearing aids to the spiritual world... 

Peep some other music: 
@bsc303
@waste_official 
@b9nt 
@opposite_brady
@whoismidway 
@brookylnsince2005
@wynnthefloof
@glum-band
@ssimpl3
@eleven-113459001 
@armoni-959583150 
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@thehiddencanvs