I've been with you for so long, and it's so amazing to see you grow and I will always be here!!! much love! this album is SOLID

I...L0$t..My...S0ul..In..2023😮‍💨

dont wait for me w/suszach & sendflowrs (afterlife)

hey, check it out

Mixed/Mastered By Me & https://soundcloud.com/auby4rc
-
Prod By https://soundcloud.com/stezzyxl
-
(Lyrics)
-
[Chorus]
i always think about oh I'm just an obstacle 
no need to worry girl i know that you are comfortable 
that's how i feel and you were so dramatic girl 
don't know what's real i need to find the cause of it 

[Auby]
i came to plead again
please end my suffering 
looks like my hands are tied
in the palm of your hand
let me take solace that youll be here with me
im done with all this constant wondering
cant look you into your eyeshouldnt be very surprised
sorry that im a mess
i promise i tried my best
living in a web of lies
without you i wouldnt survive
no type of medicine could fix what is happening

[Chorus]
i always think about oh I'm just an obstacle 
no need to worry girl i know that you are comfortable 
that's how i feel and you were so dramatic girl 
don't know what's real i need to find the cause of it x2

[Verse]
seeing all the messages saying that you hated me
i can barely sleep at night i find it hard to fucking breathe 
and i just wanted you closer 
these lonely thoughts are getting colder 

[Outro]
and i just wanted some closure holding each other till we're warmer 
seeing all the messages saying that you hated me
 i can barely sleep at night i find it hard to fucking breathe

breathe w/ auby (stezzyxl)

the second single off my upcoming album 'dearly departing' coming out on 9/9
featuring @betweentheveinsandi
produced by @jolst
art by @/ashleydhe on instagram
hope u enjoy <3

lyrics:
its finite, reactive bullshit
that got us here
and i dont mean to laugh or joke
but i see it clearly how
time takes lives in the cruelest way
and im fucking exhausted
so i wont pray for calmer waves
im better off in a coffin 

or when its half mast
think about what i’ve passed
will i be forgiven?

or when im undone
will i run
or is this a new beginning?

i think i saw your star sign
projected in the night sky
i look out to the ocean
and then im back to your eyes

veins:
I don't give a fuck anymore
I would let her drown me in a low tide
these decisions assault my eyes
I brace for the waves that drag me back into the deep tide

yuh,
it gives a deep high
I guess it feel right
underwater with no sunshine
I heave a deep sigh
I'm filled with sea brine
all of my bones will rest in deep lime

but it's been nice
I hope u feel right
I hope he never leaves ur fucking side
I pray u both live long and happy lives
most of all, importantly, I hope u feel alive

its finite, reactive bullshit
that got us here
and i dont mean to laugh or joke
but i see it clearly how
time takes lives in the cruelest way
and im fucking exhausted
so i wont pray for calmer waves
im better off in a coffin

dearly departing

low tide (ft. betweentheveinsandi) [jolst]

spotify & apple music!

IV. low tide (ft. betweentheveinsandi) [jolst]

mixed & mastered by Ally Holloway + nate2timez
produced by nate2timez & 2001
written by Ally Holloway
٩(× ×)۶
and I really have to do this for myself;
growing up, and facing fears, and learning i cant dissapear	
its one thing after another
study hard, and dont blow your cover
learn all the lessons you lost
cause school was tough, and inside youre soft
you loved your dad, cause he was all that you had
to pat your back on the way, and say its okay
you loved your mom, (I love you) cause she was your home
(my home) and your only friend or anything that made you feel a little bit less messed up  
cause a little means alot ;/
and now i got almost everything that i want
but im stil trying for what i- dont have,,
"dont look back" is what they told me,
so ill keep on living till the, old me dies
dies (What a-)
dies
dies
until-
until he dies.

I'm on my way

mixed & mastered by Ally Holloway + nate2timez
produced by nate2timez & Ally Holloway
written by Ally Holloway
٩(× ×)۶

don't worry, you'll be fine.
don't worry, you'll be fine..

and I dont know how serious it really is
I dont know what i want

and it echoes thru these halls again
and the ghost you left still wanders around
(it still wanders)
woah

silence speaks more than sound
I've been lost and found

Lost and found

mixed, mastered, and written by Ally Holloway
produced by wissery & yago
٩(× ×)۶

it's really not meant to be,
i know..
i know..
but i get to caught up,
and i love it..
i love it,
i love it..

and yeah, he gets high,
and i know you do too.
he gets by,
and i know you dont,
and i know you dont.
(no)
seeping in, bleeding out,
do you know what i mean?
a world of pain, doesnt amount,
to what i need to learn.
yeah,
I'll do what he wants, and ill pull it back for you.
yeah,
him and her and all that fuckin bullshit,
and if i dont care, am i just a fuckin fool, man?

and yeah, he gets high,
and i know you do too.
he gets by,
and i know you dont,
and i know you dont.
(no)
seeping in, bleeding out,
do you know what i mean?
a world of pain, doesnt amount,
to what i need to learn..

Just getting by

momentary 

mixed & mastered by Ally Holloway + nate2timez
produced by nate2timez
written by Ally Holloway
٩(× ×)۶
I'm still waiting on like everything, thing's like,
boy, come here
I'll make this our year
light up the street lights with the power from our love, dear
you can stay here, angel don't fear
I'll dive deep inside your mind cause it's my frontier, yeah.
we got time to be contemporary, yeah
and it'll happen, but it's momentary, and we'll feel pain
until one day life's ours

and I just want you
can we cross the borders, and claim our mind's back?
can we stay up all night till the sunrise, and think back..
to better days? :')
(no..)

crossed your path once again
didn't mean to, but i love you, and i mean that shit
i got lost again, am i learning?- i don't know.
you hate talking to me, but it's mutual,
and i can't be happy so just shut up.

we got time to be contemporary, yeah
and it'll happen, but it's momentary, and we'll feel pain
until one day lifes ours

and yeah, your presence's enough! :(
probably numb,
sleeping in love,
problems a dove,
and i can't get enough
of my ignorance
to better, days.

It's miserable..
I can't be happy,
so just shut up.

Momentary

fuck u,
~im stuck with u until i finally succeed.*

lyrics
--------
but today, has to be the worst day, that i lived
wanna stay in bed, and cry, start again
most of all these people, i know, i want dead
some of the time, i need, to get checked

like, work is a fucking living nightmare
cannot find another dream or passion, life aint just unfair
all of you are monsters inside of a hallow shell
my only relif is when i call her

slaving my life away!

"wait"
but slaves work hard by the way
ey, no, i need a break

my life fallin apart, ill just sit right back and laugh
When everything get difficult, ill sit right back and laugh
When all my friends are passing, ill sit right back and laugh
When im on my death bed, ill sit right back and laugh

Why, do you keep cracking jokes about the things i do, and 
Why, are just such an asshole, to innocents, and
Why, cant you just comply, make my life betterr. then ill work better..

pass that fuckin knife
try me again, its the end of you and i
dont wanna start an argument,  i really couldnt lie
its up to you bitch, yeah, i couldnt care twice
why the fuck did you hire me if you couldnt treat me right

my life fallin apart, ill just sit right back and laugh
When everything get difficult, ill sit right back and laugh
When all my friends are passing, ill sit right back and laugh
When im on my death bed, ill sit right back and laugh
------_
-
--
_bye for now/

laugh (prod. hero)

this song is entirely non profit and purely for venting purposes.
white shinobi: @white-shinobi
gin$eng: @ginsengxx

they're not playing the same game that we are
they're getting really far by having friends and dickriding
i dont think thats fair, at all
i dont think thats fair, at all
i think our scene would be alot better without them
do you think we need them?
i dont think we need them?
cause we have nick and we have miles
you know exactly who the fuck im talking about.
they're clones 
and they barely try cause 
they get cosigned and 
they already have fans before they start
maybe i shouldnt talk about it at all
but im just being honest
im just being honest
you cant look me in the face and tell me that it looks fine to you
cause we work our ass off and we get nowhere
i think we all secretly know this is not very fun
cause itd be alot funner if people gave a fuck.
or if we could live off of this, but right now we could die from this
im not tryna be a pessimist, but you know music's more than this
i dont think i wanna stick around to see how it goes,
cause how fucking far can you make it in here?
they're not playing the same game that we are
they're getting really far by having friends and dickriding
i dont think thats fair, at all
i dont think thats fair, at all
i tried to tell you once but you didnt listen
"we're nothing special, we're just a follower."
im not tryna make you sad at all
please dont give up
i just want you to know
they're not what you thought they were.

bonessss/clonessss (white shinobi x gin$eng)

0000

headphones on my head like every night
i dont have friends ive got me to fight
welcome to my life, ill help you see them, see them
i have a strange feeling that its the end, the end.

im addicted to my death and im addicted to this pattern
i realized every choice boils down to the same kind of people
and same kind of morals
and same kind of morals, so what do you believe in?
do you really think that this life has a meaning?
did you really think that id let you off easily?
oh hell fucking no ill come down on you like you did in my dreams
i know hes confused but i dont think i care
night time comes and once again you are a disgrace baby
you look entirely defaced lets rewind baby
to first base
when your place wasnt my place
ive always had shit to say but now im fucking say it 
cause ive spent too long putting up with it 
woah
 woah
  yeah i bet you got a death wish
see me in my room tied up by my necklace
you scandalously walk thru all my halls for an answer
but theres no answer
i float thru these walls as a ghost 
i see you in my grasp, getting close
imma pull you in
imma make you regret every single thing you did
no one will ever know..
what i did to you, cause i always kept my mouth closed
like you should have done about me 
keep it quiet and i wont ever fuck you up
dont worry bout it man the season calls for it
dont worry bout my plan youll know when it hits
this shit is really how i feel and theres only one
person that i wouldnt lie to
its my microphone
dont call your home
your soul will always be bound to my tomb
our stories in stone 
you took over my throne 
and now were just bones 
drink poison and enjoy it
basically my point is 
our puny love was disjointed
by you
by you
i float thru these walls as a ghost
i see you in my grasp getting close
imma pull you in
imma make you regret every single thing you did
no one will ever know 
what i did to you cause i always kept my mouth close
this is a story about all my demons 
welcome to my head, ill help you see them
when i hit 19 might as well be the end
i dont wanna die but im really not living
so stay a little longer just to make it funner
when i go under, please dont suffer

white lies lead to murder (domesticsoul)

All of the time that i just wasted
Spending all of my days intoxicated
So isolated i need sedation 
Tryna get her out of my head is so brainless

Tear drops on her face 
And She Tellin me she made a mistake
I don’t really know what I’m gonna say 
I guess It was going so good till it just fuckin didn’t 

I’m lyin when I say im ok 
Cuz You keep Poppin up inside of my brain
And All the shit you said don’t hold any weight
Yeah She tell me that she me love me till she just fuckin didn’t 

With the eyes like diamonds 
Mesemerizin
Youre the one I think of when I close my eyelids
Can I kill the silence I’ve been feelin lifeless
Messin with my head and my heart she a white bitch
All you do is type but the words not vibrant 
She keep pullin me in she hot like a siren
Belive me when I tell you that you help me ease my mind its 
Kinda fuckin crazy that i had you by my side bitch

But now it’s all over 
And I can’t stay sober 
I’m poppin the pain away
And thinkin of better days 

This that drive me to the grave
And our love was just a phase
You treat me like shit most days 
It’s just gonna break me

But now you’re gone 
Every thought feels wrong 
Idk what’s going on 
lately I been so jaded 

She look me in the eyes she could tell that I’m faded
Spreadin nothin but lies you petty and faceless 
I guess Her laugh was a disguise she was plotting my demise 
I can’t tell what’s wrong could you please get me right 
Good sex forgot all the shit that went wrong
I could never speak my thoughts so I put em in a song 

Next thing that I know everyone singin along
And I swear I try my best but I can’t keep holding on 
She knows she was the first that i brought up to my mom 
Try to tell you how I’m feeling but the words are all wrong 

And i miss you even more with the time spent apart 
Said that you need healing coz your thoughts been dark
But she really scared of feeling so she told me let’s part
I hope that you get better cuz youll always have my heart 

Gotta stop scrollin on the feed
Just so I can write on a beat 
But you know he gonna spit some heat
I made 4 racks just last week what you call for
Always on my phone in case it beeps
And your face so pretty in my head repeatin 
I wish i didn’t love her for all the wrong reasons 
She say she gotta go our love was just a season 

Tear drops on her face 
And She Tellin me she made a mistake
I don’t really know what I’m gonna say 
I guess It was going so good till it just fuckin didn’t 

verse again)

this was a love story (prod. gage oakes)

its less than a month till i leave my home
its one year over due so its time to get gone

bad memories run thru my head
i dont wanna talk about what i said
i dont wanna talk around all the important shit
i dont wanna fight cus baby we are more than this
i see ghosts in my room
and they look almost like you

how am i gonna do what i really need to? i dont know
and how do you expect me to be fine with my circumstances?
i see ghosts in my room
and they almost look like you
black and white is all i see if its not love its anarchy
you could say like anything i promise i wont leave you
i use to go MIA for like two weeks and i still do
but atleast the reason why i do now's cause i love you
ill make it better for you
ill find a way to change hue
i feel like alien
and i just want to relate
got me going

bad memories run thru my head
i dont wanna talk about what i said
i dont wanna talk around all the important shit
i dont wanna fight cus baby we are more than this
i see ghosts in my room
and they look almost like you

how am i gonna do what i really need to? i dont know
and how do you expect me to be fine with my circumstances?
i see ghosts in my room
and they almost look like you
black and white is all i see if its not love its anarchy
you could say like anything i promise i wont leave you
i use to go MIA for like two weeks and i still do
but atleast the reason why i do now's cause i love you

if we're talking about time i wanna cut it down
if its gonna make the wait longer then fuck it all
you're in my mind right now
and i just wanna get to you so i can shut the fuck up
got me going
dont fall down
SINGING EVERYTHING FROM MY HEAD!
its generic
but im simple
when you speak to me you make my legs tremble
i see ghosts in my room
i see ghosts in my room

how am i gonna do what i really need to? i dont know
and how do you expect me to be fine with my circumstances?
i see ghosts in my room
and they almost look like you
black and white is all i see if its not love its anarchy
you could say like anything i promise i wont leave you
i use to go MIA for like two weeks and i still do
but atleast the reason why i do now's cause i love you

its less than a month till i leave my home
its one year over due so its time to get gone
im so fucking sick of waiting for my life
im accepting the fact nothing happens over night

GHOSTS (Scottysplash)

find solace <3

mix & mastr by me 😱

lyrics

wear your heart out on ur sleeve now that ur bleeding out
there’s a lot more u will see now that ur leaving town
pressing screens, live like feins i can’t tell u everything but what u hear u gotta scream it loud

nearly accepted what i preach but do u mean it now
there’s not a lot more i can teach with that defeated frown
i can sense a force that’s tense and did i mention still affection coz the trees that we grew from weren’t from different ground

baby i’m tryna ‘scape reality 
coz maybe this life we live ain’t what it seem
ur point of view is something i’d love to believe
but when you’ve lived inside this hole so long it’d hurt even looking up to see

now
feel the breeze now 
and trees now
hear the voices speak now

i’m sorry for my point of view and i can take it back
and i’ll try help with all the damage that i caused but that
isn’t a promise i’m just not one to hold my word when the futures as uncertain as my mental (verge on the collapse)

and if i’m honest
we’re living in a lodge amidst a fire in th forest
it’s in ur gut so save urself before it’s too late i’m sure ur prolly sick of hearing all this logic
im sick cant stop it
lets change the fucking topic

fire in th_forest (yasuma)

I Played It Once — And Then I Couldn’t Play Anything Else - American Folk Rock

I love all kinds of music except for country

I'm on my way

emptychest

Recent comments

Kurama SD (New account in bio)

bizzies

bizzies

FARFROMSATURN

Related tracks