blue dress (prod.timeless)

Wish I could  (prod hieloways)

my second full length album, dearly departing

fully produced and mastered by @jolst
artwork by @/ashleydhe on instagram

featuring:
@cherryrizla
@betweentheveinsandi
@ejcarrmusic

additional production by:
@irby314
@user-757072975
@taylor
@sainttomorrow
@pekarot_161

thank you all for everything. i hope you enjoy <3

lyrics:
i press pause & rewind
it all feels like a movie
maybe thats how i kill time
i swear its amusing
i make a victim of myself
& im crying to no one
its a cycle of nature,
and i live in darkness,
no moon & no sun 

i hope this reads like a letter
whenever you hear it
nothing would make me feel better
than knowing u feel it too
this island it paints me blue
sincerely, it’s cause of u
the way the leaves they hold me
it almost feels like u got to know me 

[evan]
wave after wave 
and i’ve been drowning in a sea of my own thoughts
a clear image of everything i’m not 
hold on and hope it’s not a lot

i know this too well 
here reading the same old story 
i’m stuck in this cycle 
all i can do is wonder if 

are you coming to save me 
i’m empty 
pull me out of the shit that’s preventing me
is it too late to get out of this 
draw my name in the sand are you coming to save me 

are you coming to save me 
am i coming to save me
i put it all line 
draw my name in the sand 
are you coming to save me

stream everywhere!

VIII. sincerely (ft. evan carr) [jolst x pekarot]

mixed & mastered by Ally Holloway + nate2timez
produced by nate2timez & 2001
written by Ally Holloway
٩(× ×)۶
and I really have to do this for myself;
growing up, and facing fears, and learning i cant dissapear	
its one thing after another
study hard, and dont blow your cover
learn all the lessons you lost
cause school was tough, and inside youre soft
you loved your dad, cause he was all that you had
to pat your back on the way, and say its okay
you loved your mom, (I love you) cause she was your home
(my home) and your only friend or anything that made you feel a little bit less messed up  
cause a little means alot ;/
and now i got almost everything that i want
but im stil trying for what i- dont have,,
"dont look back" is what they told me,
so ill keep on living till the, old me dies
dies (What a-)
dies
dies
until-
until he dies.

I'm on my way

mixed & mastered by Ally Holloway + nate2timez
produced by nate2timez & Ally Holloway
written by Ally Holloway
٩(× ×)۶

don't worry, you'll be fine.
don't worry, you'll be fine..

and I dont know how serious it really is
I dont know what i want

and it echoes thru these halls again
and the ghost you left still wanders around
(it still wanders)
woah

silence speaks more than sound
I've been lost and found

Lost and found

mixed, mastered, and written by Ally Holloway
produced by wissery & yago
٩(× ×)۶

it's really not meant to be,
i know..
i know..
but i get to caught up,
and i love it..
i love it,
i love it..

and yeah, he gets high,
and i know you do too.
he gets by,
and i know you dont,
and i know you dont.
(no)
seeping in, bleeding out,
do you know what i mean?
a world of pain, doesnt amount,
to what i need to learn.
yeah,
I'll do what he wants, and ill pull it back for you.
yeah,
him and her and all that fuckin bullshit,
and if i dont care, am i just a fuckin fool, man?

and yeah, he gets high,
and i know you do too.
he gets by,
and i know you dont,
and i know you dont.
(no)
seeping in, bleeding out,
do you know what i mean?
a world of pain, doesnt amount,
to what i need to learn..

Just getting by

im still learning

mixed, mastered, and written by Ally Holloway
produced by Jang0 & Autrioly

(pre-chorus)
You're right, I'm tryna' find love again.
Am I wrong, to say that you don't care?
Or maybe I don't care enough,
To save myself or walk away.

(chorus)
You should know by now,
I don't plan to tone it down.
I'll scream even if it's not loud enough.
I'll break my shell, cause my angels' askin' me;
"Why?"
"Have I haven't yet?"
(I haven't yet)
Got my license yet,
I'll tell you why; I just wait.
I'm bound to say yes if it's still real but,
I'm not down to wait around for you.

(breakdown)
I.. don't,
Wanna get back at you.
I'm talkin' about
Nobody but Me.

(verse)
You're wrong,
Cause I don't wanna love again,
And every night, I'm guilty for the wrong things.
I wanna be unique,
To save myself or walk away.

(chorus)
You should know by now,
I don't plan to tone it down.
I'll scream even if it's not loud enough.
I'll break my shell..
And they ask me why I procastinate
(Haven't yet)
For what I mean, I'm growing up.
I'll tell you why; I just wait.
I'm bound to say yes if it's still real but,
I'm not down to wait around for you.

I'm still learning

same year new me
prod. @cherryrizla the goat
everything else done by me
new songs biweekly starting now <3

lyrics:
wake up
you’ve been asleep for days
i can’t believe my eyes
i’ve never been a saint
but you’re a sorer sight than i

when the time changed
what did i say
to make amends
i’d face the consequences
gladly
you know you had me
until the end
know its simple to say
but better left unspoken

wave past in the foreground
lights on, show’s dead in the background
head’s up on a swivel
turning away to carve out like a chisel

life aint what it seem and i don’t wanna talk now
sick of the way i don’t know how to talk,
complacency, kicks in like vacancy
just a matter of

when the time changed
what did i say
to make amends
i’d face the consequences
gladly
you know you had me
until the end
know its simple to say
but better left unspoken

wake up
you’ve been asleep for days
i can’t believe my eyes
i’ve never been a saint
but you’re a sorer sight than i

wake up, it's time to go

wake up, it's time to go [cherryrizla]

spotify, apple, etc.

cover art by my mother 

all the songs in the flesh alb r jus gone be released as singles

sewerperson "lights r on but no ones home" covered in the song

mix & mastr @fleshgolem
lyrics

fillin up th cup 
i feel my body start to ache
evrything telling me to stop
even see th walls starting to cave
and they love it, a body piled function
don’t wanna cause fussing but it’s building up coz every day i see my grave

this aint who i am
but ima act like this is why i am 
my perspective starts to change in where i stand, looking out th window pane
look i dont blame u for thinking im not keen staying 
but i dont hav a plan, anywhere on this dirt feels same

sink to the floor, coz it’s the norm, 
don’t u touch my skin
it’s all been stored, i’m now reborn
coz i can dump my things
yelling fuck it, pressing on my stomach
i can feel it coming but i’m not fucking stopping
 till i’m turned out in 

look at my face, see my state i jus kno ur confused 
i need space, cannot wait let’s take a break on the moon
i’m in pain, still in shock, lost in thought and i’m bruised
u saw me thru th glass and then just left me bleeding out in this hotel room

i saw the lights on but i knew that no one else was home
look at the nikon and check the camera roll, i'm all alone
feel the bottle pop, spew it out, opening in the mouth
i'm a cyclops when it comes to seeing no one else
okay, okay

i feel my ears pop when i take the lift up to the spot
in the function, sipping on this ace and rolling pot
i'ma punch in, even when i'm geeked, i'm on the clock
like a pumpkin, i'm lit up and my body start to rot

i'm an asshole, okay, well, i know, so you can leave
what's the point, though, in coming to the function if you cheesed?
i'm in street clothes but my guys in masks and they don't ski
i don't need throat, i just need a girl who proud of me, okay

know i act tough i just need someone to see i’m not ok
the whole domineer off i’ma just leave it to fate
cut my feelings off coz that mean i’m not suffering the same
sure it isn’t real but when i smile i still feel sane

i still feel sane, but mostly when im on a subs
get apifannys that turns my wants in to musts
i get a lot dreams but w my habits theyre all stuck 
i got these goals but w these habits theyre all fucked

i'm an asshole, okay, well, i know, so you can leave
what's the point, though, in coming to the function if you cheesed?
i'm in street clothes but my guys in masks and they don't ski
i don't need throat, i just need a girl who proud of me, okay

lights r on

lights r on (flesh)

beat by: @blade_901
featuring: @daystowaste

twentythirteen w/ daystowaste (blade901)

produced by: @yunnygoldz
artwork, vocals, mixing, crying by: @sendflowrs

lyrics:

and would you stay?
would you tell me if you really wanted me?
yeah, baby would you stay?
yeah, baby would you stay?
would you lie for me?
would you die for me?
ive been running
for her love,
I try to intercept her, 
but no luck,
yeah ive been calling,
her bluff
but her heart ice cold,
she don't show no love

I watch it vanish, from my hands,
if I close my eyes, maybe you'll come back yeah
then I start to panic and I grab my notepad,
and I write another song about the bad days,
always bout the BAD DAYS,
BAD DAYS,
think about the BAD DAYS, 
I just cant get over you, ill sleep forever gladly,
everytime you're sober you cant even fucking stand me,
I said baby thats not love she smiled at me, said "exactly"

so get the fuck out my head, im falling again, where are you?
don't hit my friends, 
I wanted you dead, but are you?
pressure again, I cannot pretend ill call you, 
the money you spend has changed you my love, you're not you 

(the money you’ve spent has changed you my love, you're not you)
x2

and would you stay?
would you tell me if you really wanted me?
yeah, baby would you stay?
yeah, baby would you stay?
would you lie for me?
would you die for me?
ive been running
for her love,
I try to intercept her, 
but no luck,
yeah ive been calling,
her bluff
but her heart ice cold,
she don't show no love

no love
my hands 
come back
note pad 
bad days

m my hands 
c come back
n note pad
bad days

Just getting by

emptychest (kill breanna)

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