this song is entirely non profit and purely for venting purposes.
nilöwh: @nilowhbeats

cut my arm like every night because of you
and that sounds really bad
but thats how sad it gets
and thats how tough
life can get sometimes 
when youre around the wrong people
dont do what i did
learn from me
change your cerebral
id love to say its true but its not 
you can call me baby bloodshot
you can push my hands around
you can make me dance for you
dont be shy stimulate it
it wont bite unless you cave in
see my head its real scary aint it?
youre a pussy, you wouldnt last one day in 
my vessel
my vessel
now you know why i nestle in my bed all day
im pissed off, scared as a bitch and i cant get out of it
and i cant get out of it 
hes real quick to lie to your face ive seen it once or twice at this pace
he belongs in the mud and you know that shit
you know you cant get over him
if you sit and around and wait 
for him to change on his own time 
cause his own time is 2 years down the line 
when hes gay.
im not mad at that but at the fucking least be honest with me
im at sea and im sinking so just throw me down some whiskey
to make it easier for the time being cause I REALLY REALLY REALLY HATE being me
and i hate how the sun drives me insane
how..?
how the fuck can love kill you?
how do i see my mind?
hopefully you understand now
imma stay in my vessel till i die.

my vessel (nilöwh x frrb)

lyrics
rn im so fucked up hope i make it to my bed
its one of those rare moments where i come to accept rest
n i pray u can accept me for who i really am
n ill show u all the thoughts n all the scars inside my head

but sipping this ciroc make me feel better
n im fucked up rn so i cant call u im sorry
im bottle deep im just throwing up in this party
i wish u were here so u could calm me
she wanna kno how to kill me i been tryna find out too
n when u stabbed my back was my last memory of u
n  i wanna die rn dont worry bout me
dont worry bout me girl im so sorry

new mistrust from the misuse
after everything im just still confused
i do drugs when i miss u
but i wont let it become an issue
but when im not high my thoughts try to kill me
when i sing u a song hope u forgive me
black tar on my lungs no healing
i dont need love no but it wont kill me
oh but it wont kill me
im writing this song rn n im sad as fuck im hoping u feel me
i still got pain from all my battles scars need u to heal me
im self destructive in my inner thoughts so i conceal me
n i see faces on the drive home
hit me on the iphone
girl just know i love u
im tryna right my wrongs
everything i do is for u dont leave me all alone
i can feel the pressure cracking down on my bones

but sipping this ciroc make me feel better
n im fucked up rn so i cant call u im sorry
im bottle deep im just throwing up in this party
i wish u were here so u could calm me
she wanna kno how to kill me i been tryna find out too
n when u stabbed my back was my last memory of u
n  i wanna die rn dont worry bout me
dont worry bout me girl im so sorry

ciroc [prod. branwen]

[+ msg] I feel like im a target
produced by @xales

[+ follow me]
www.instagram.com/seejayxo
www.twitter.com/seejayxo

[+ lyrics]

if only u knew
wtf im going through
pop these pills like I do
now I got nothin to lose
2x

this how it get started
I feel like im a target, damn
this aint a movie u can star in
and I just feel like im dissolving 
fill it up fill it up, I just poured another cup
im out here booted up
breaking down that yellow stuff
she like it hella rough 
they still out here catching up
you aint ahead of us

if only u knew
what the fuck im going thru
pop these pills like I do
now I got nothing to lose
4x

love yall burnout gang #sorrowworld4ever

if only u knew

[+] stream on spotify

if only u knew (prod. xales)

lyrics ⬇️ 

it never happened like I thought 
oh no
all alone until I rot
they gon pick apart my bones
I don’t need another slot
jus to fill a stupid spot and then screw up on the plot
ima roll up with with dawgs don’t you tell me I should stop
you don’t know what’s goin on. 
yea it’s not ur job

there’s opportunities everywhere 
i could keep going on
but I cut like silverware 
so now days I don’t want you to stare
i wish that we got along
but we’re not a perfect pair

yea why can’t you see way beyond the pier
i don’t appreciate all of the pressure here

it’s catching up to me
i think they want me dead
do they want me here
or do they want me there instead

I tried to show I want you less
cuz that’s the truth
Then you treat me like a pest
but don’t tell me what I do

what’s new
it’s an issue 
how I’m lost
with out you

i never the kind of cost
shoulda thought this through
cuz you ripped all of my wants and needs in two

what’s the obvious answer?
i don’t need you 
fake it with laughter 
but how can they prove
I can’t wait til after ik what to do
and I hope that she’s flattered when she hears the news

beyond the pier w/ decks (flesh x jolst)

Spotify

anytime soon...

lyrics//

{halfhearted}
see the rain coming down and i wonder why,
why you took me out the game and you’re switching sides?
we both know we’ve been here before
put a knife in my back, pull me off the floor

they don’t know where i’m going
got a winter coat wrist froze from the snowing
you were how i cope 
i don’t need an oxycontin 
but when you let me go lonely roads i found hope in

used to get so lost in your eyes, now they haunt me
heard you found some other guy, but he’s not me
hope you have a wonderful life
i hope you have a wonderful life 

you can try the best that you can 
i’m still standing
heard he put a rock on your hand
that’s outstanding 
i don’t have no words left to say but i’m sorry
he can put a smile on your face, i’m still calling

it’s a long and winding road
and the ropes they got me choking
wrapped around my throat
with the words we left unspoken
you can try the best that you can i’m still standing
i heard he put a rock on your hand


{Greenwood}
off the side of the shipwreck
tracing in the sand what we did best
it's just hard when you live less
than i did this time last year and i miss it

moments encased but i feel this place like a prison
yeah you said that you're the same but we did shit that he didn't
couldn't talk to your parents i know they think that i'm different 
i'm just going through the motions, i thought this one was bigger

there's a wrong way to tell you
on a park bench in Bayview, i let the waves through
wrong way to tell you
i just hope that it happens again

maybe i triple up my output
started selling theses beats
put like most of it aside to buy you shit that you need
yeah i heard he's on some primo shit with cash he could waste
just to buy you shit you want i wish that i could relate

i heard he put a rock on your hand w/ Greenwood [wisssery & cxrter]

look in the mirror who am i?
tryna be me, but i feel disguised
darken my face
hard to replace
fighting hard but my body just breaks

i remember the times
you were with him when you claimed to be mine
got me in a bad mood
fighting myself just to have you 

like that’s what i want
i wish i could have you
girls wanna have fun
guess you wanna have him too

fighting myself
meant what i said when i said go to hell
losing my mind get me outta my cell
some people told me but i never tell
what’s real or what’s fake
sealing my fate
breaking my body let it decay x2

cuz up in my head i’m enough
but when i’m with you, you’re not feeling my love
you put the knife in my back
so i put my drink in my cup

stuck in a haze
lie to my face when you said we won’t break up
so iv just been out on the run
hand on the trigger 
you’re pointing the gun

look in the mirror who am i?
tryna be me, but i feel disguised
darken my face
hard to replace
fighting hard but my body just breaks 

i remember the times
you were with him when you claimed to be mine
got me in a bad mood
fighting myself just to have you 

like that’s what i want
i wish i could have you
girls wanna have fun
guess you wanna have him too


fighting myself
meant what i said when i said go to hell
losing my mind get me outta my cell
some people told me but i never tell
what’s real or what’s fake

fighting myself

shoutout https://soundcloud.com/cay2o for helping with the ending
all the rest prod by me

lyrics:
dont talk like that, you know this
ive had it, babe im focused.
discarded. u said, "dont leave, don't go"
been up for days, I've blown it
"don't fold in" but its too hopeless
im coming to the coven, i've been numb.

slave away the day until i make it
this chest in pain feels so amazing
if you got some more, then i can take it
she said im mental, guess im crazy
IM SO CRAZY IM SO CRAZY
feeling lost, when you walked in with bleach blonde hair
i never thought we would talk now its been 3 years
on the rocks and im coughing i gasp for air
and she said, "kade, do u hate me? do u hate me?
please dont hate me!"

dont talk like that, you know this
ive had it, babe im focused.
discarded. u said, "dont leave, don't go"
been up for days, I've blown it
"don't fold in" but its too hopeless
im coming to the coven, i've been numb.

coven

spotify

featuring safeatlast -https://soundcloud.com/safeatlast
produced by Ciche&Jarn - https://www.youtube.com/@cichejarn


there's blood on my hands oh christ
can't deal with myself all the time
won't open my eyes

fucked it up now i don't even wanna go home
i got problems with myself 
don't leave me alone
wanna melt my brain 
thoughts lead to overload
i cant see a future without overdose

without overdose
baby I might go comatose
xannies in my coat
put another paycheck in my nose

not addicted but I don't know how I could recover
if I was would you still be there for me not another

teenage suicide another stat another number
for the masses

back in school I almost o-d'd on a fuckin Xanax

I would show up off the wall like vans to all my classes

I can't see the future maybe I just need my glasses

fucked it up now i don't even wanna go home
i got problems with myself 
don't leave me alone
wanna melt my brain 
thoughts lead to overload
i cant see a future without overdose
x2

overdose (ft. safeatlast) (Ciche&Jarn)

i'll be found w/ Tameron (ushanka boy)

"voluntary fits of the truth, hope you read these lines in a clear view"

a part two to an old classic

lyrics:
i wish i could say to get me off this ride 
it’s the same old story
so the same old conflict is eating me alive 
i’m lying saying that i will get to choose 
a roller coaster in the winter just waiting to be used 
but who am i without you 
a wide eyed idiot chasing after something new 
like it’s something to prove 
like it’s something to prove

it’s coming up again 
and it’s forcing me to leave
all these recycled notions 
that stay in my head 
stereotypically kick me
til i’m showing red 
i don’t want it 
but i caused this 
stupid conflict 
we just don’t seem clear anymore 
we just don’t seem clear anymore 

the first one hit right with the moon 
then the guard fell down and it crept through
it’s a new message i’m feeling blue 
but i’m wondering if it paints you too
and i swore it’s what i wanted 
as soon as it was started 
but now it’s being flaunted 
and i keep feeling haunted 
by every mistake etched 
still don’t know what is best 

but who am i without this 
a blind eyed idiot, searching for the magic 
til i’m feelin sick 
so tell me if i should quit 

it’s coming up again 
and it’s forcing me to leave
all these recycled notions 
that stay in my head 
stereotypically kick me
til i’m showing red 
i don’t want it 
but i caused this 
stupid conflict 
we just don’t seem clear anymore 
we just don’t seem clear anymore 

so many times i felt it’s see through 
pull the mask off, show the real you 
voluntarily fits of the truth 
hope you read these lines in a clear view 
i don’t want this 
i don’t want this 

is there something in the silence
is there more to this decay 
can i really make the right choice 
when you’re asking me to stay

my vessel (nilöwh x frrb)

emptychest (kill breanna)

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