this song is entirely non profit and purely for venting purposes.
nilöwh: @nilowhbeats

cut my arm like every night because of you
and that sounds really bad
but thats how sad it gets
and thats how tough
life can get sometimes 
when youre around the wrong people
dont do what i did
learn from me
change your cerebral
id love to say its true but its not 
you can call me baby bloodshot
you can push my hands around
you can make me dance for you
dont be shy stimulate it
it wont bite unless you cave in
see my head its real scary aint it?
youre a pussy, you wouldnt last one day in 
my vessel
my vessel
now you know why i nestle in my bed all day
im pissed off, scared as a bitch and i cant get out of it
and i cant get out of it 
hes real quick to lie to your face ive seen it once or twice at this pace
he belongs in the mud and you know that shit
you know you cant get over him
if you sit and around and wait 
for him to change on his own time 
cause his own time is 2 years down the line 
when hes gay.
im not mad at that but at the fucking least be honest with me
im at sea and im sinking so just throw me down some whiskey
to make it easier for the time being cause I REALLY REALLY REALLY HATE being me
and i hate how the sun drives me insane
how..?
how the fuck can love kill you?
how do i see my mind?
hopefully you understand now
imma stay in my vessel till i die.

my vessel (nilöwh x frrb)

on all plats

prod. sorrowbringer

im inside my head learning self care . . ;(

vitality

@strivemusicau
@soulfadexo
@northshoremusic
@emptychest

(TNS)
When I’m gone you’d said you’ll the other way
Things don’t ever change just look the other way

(strivesad)
catch me out the back i think i'm feeling numb
never smoke away the pain but i'm still pretty drunk
caught me lacking once again cause i don't feel enough
played the game than got erased so i will soldier on
i ain't switching side this time but now i have to ask why
why am i not progressing in this life
caught me lacking once again cause i don't feel enough
played the game than got erased so i will soldier on

(TNS)
When I’m gone you’d said you’ll the other way
Things don’t ever change just look the other way

(soulfade)
Omnipresent
Catch me lying in the dirt
Everybody wanna talk
But they leave me in the hurt
Rather be alive
To tell you i was never sorry
Buried to the bone
I’m okay with the mindset
Don’t feel sad
It was written in the books
Don’t feel bad
You had it all coming
But that’s okay
Never loved you anyways
Fuck you bitch
Imma go my own way now

(TNS)
Can’t catch a fucking break I’m in my head again
Tripping over people that tried to hold me back again

Push the bad thoughts out my head I can’t control the past

Bitch I’ll break through
Fuck around the rules cuz I ain’t in school

Recharge living in the past I needa restart
“getting tired of living life just like a retard?” - grandma 💀

Hide away the pain inside my brain I needa recharge

When I’m gone you’d said you’ll the other way
Things don’t ever change just look the other way

(emptychest)
everything inside my head was built upon
some death
some death
some death!!!
been like 4 years but im still here
took a trip and i felt no fear
yeah i felt no fear
i felt no fear,
cause it was all i wanted

Numb w/ strivesad, soulfade, The North Shore & emptychest [+ loverboybeatz]

liar

trapped in a world where we
dont know what we're doing
we're REALLY fucking clueless
vices on my desk, contraband in my head :/
its fine to us,,
i got party in my dna ^-^
i cant even brace , or hurt
cause i cant feel my face, uh.
rum and everythings fine 
i do what i want

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh...'

i still hurt sometimes

nothing makes sense :(
another bro got jaded >:(
i think they laced him >;(
TELL ME WHAT THE PAY IS
i got real bones ache and they sure ache
i cant even stand to see my own face.

-

ghastly imagez..

lil nightshift

ghastly imagez.. p. lil nightshift

a mutual sickness report

Written by: Reapers Shadow
Produced by: Mamoru &1kurane 
Mixed by: Reapers Shadow, angelsofsorrows, & JoshIGuess 
Mastered by: @joshiguess 
Artwork by: Azusa Banjo
Artwork from: I Think I Turned My Childhood Friend into a Girl (Manga)
Artwork edited by: Reapers Shadow 

[Chorus]
Ceiling filled with my thoughts 
Skipping across like a rock
(Rock)
They say they wanna hang 
But I don't hear a knock
You're such a loser 
But still have the nerve to mock
You're just another number 
In the Infrastructure

[Post-Chorus]
Spending all my time 
Tryna make him mine
But my smile never shines
Because I'm too shy 
To tell him the truth

[Verse]
I'm making songs 
So I don't end it 
Starting a new wave 
But I know I'm gonna bend it
(Bend it)
If it's a new style 
I gotta blend it
Masking my feelings 
To hide the truth but

[Bridge]
I feel butterflies
When I see him
I wanna look 
Cute for him

[Chorus]
Ceiling filled with my thoughts 
Skipping across like a rock
Oh Oh Oh
(Rock)
They say they wanna hang 
But I don't hear a knock
You're such a loser 
But still have the nerve to mock
You're just another number 
In the Infrastructure

I Wanna Look, Cute For Him (Prod. Mamoru & 1kurane)

Written by: Reapers Shadow
Produced by: Jang0
Mixed & Mastered by: @angelsofsorrows 
Artwork by: Reapers Shadow & angelsofsorrows 

Lyrics:
[Intro]
I just want somebody here for me 
But nobody is ever around 
This past summer was hell
& I don't know why I feel like this 

[Chorus]
Just let me exist please
Without wanting to die 
Winters coming 
& I feel a breeze

[Verse 1]
My persona has changed 
& so has the rate of my descent 
From this mountain top
This rage inside won't ever stop
At this rate I'm boutta drop
Like six stories
I don't know 
If I'll get up in time

[Bridge]
If only you would've found me 
I could've lived
Now I've hid all my feelings away
Cause I'm worthless anyway 
At least that's what I think 

[Verse 2]
The memories are still haunting 
But I can't be losing anymore time
Hope one day 
I'll find someone to love me
The song I wrote you in June 
Means a lot to me 
It's time to become the real me
& accept my femininity

[Chorus]
Just let me exist please
Without wanting to die 
Winters coming & I 
Breathe slowly

The Summer From Hell (Prod. Jang0)

wrote this about half a year ago,
things were really fucked up,
almost ended up in the mental hospital,
anyways things have been slowly getting better,
hopefully ill come back to uploading more,
if anyone is in a similiar position i truly hope this song might bring you some closure,
stay strong,
it will get better,

whats's it like (dybbuk box prod. hero)
whats it like to die
to not be alive
to be free from this bullshit
that is life
i thought i lost the 
need for suicide
but it never leaves
it just creeps

in the back of my mind
waiting for me to fall down
down on my knees
then it overtakes me with ease
i dont want to give in
but its not that simple
theres just too much struggle
right there within

one
two
three 
then fifty
pills in my hands going to my tummy
add another 60 just to make sure
i dont wake up
i dont survive
so i dont have to do this
all over again

leave me right now trust me i dont wanna hurt you
dont make me lie to you
but you dont want the truth
youd just be worried just hitiing my phone
i dont want that let me die on my own
leave me alone
cause i want the answer


i think im broken
and i cant be fixed
i think im lost
and i can never be found

What's it like (prod. hero x emptychest)

Written by: Kurumi Violet
Produced by: everestdidthis
Mixed & Mastered by: JoshIGuess
Artwork from: https://wall.alphacoders.com/big.php?i=943237
Art by: 降島ツカサ
Art discovered by: ShuOuma
Art Edited by: Kurumi Violet

Lyrics:
[Verse 1]
Everybody wants to change 
But they can't even break the chains
That bind them that bind them to their past 
& I'm no different 
No matter what I try
I still feel the inner despair 

[Bridge]
I just want some peace
I just want somebody to be
Here with me 
(Despair)
It never goes away
(Away) 

[Verse 2]
I'm not perfect I know that much
Even if you're not the best
Just know I'll do my best for you 
Because I love you
Breathing in & out slowly
Trying to calm down from anxiety 
That's what reminded me of our past
Raining in my town
EVEN IN MY TOWN
Even in the winter 
Maybe it was all meant to be

[Outro]
Swift exit is all they say 
But I'm happy it ended this way
Disc's playing movies as Iay in bed 
Reflection of myself made of lead
Metal blaring through the headphones 
& death still haunting the victims
Left in his wake
(Left in his wake)

Despair (Prod. everestdidthis)

Written by: Kurumi Violet & lostangel 
Produced by: neverforever & lostangel
Mixed & Mastered by: lostangel 
Artwork by: scaramouche40 from Pinterest 
Artwork Edited by: Kurumi Violet 

Lyrics:
[Verse 1: Kurumi Violet]
Ice cold chills 
Running down my back
The attacks creates tramua 
That runs deep
My life is meaningless now that the end has came
I never even changed just remained the same
(SAME)

[Verse 2: lostangel]
Everyday I'm in a battle with myself 
You don't really wanna know how it feels
Everybody talking down on me yeah 
& it felt so fucking lonely 
I was ready to put the gun to my fucking brain 
I was ready to leave the world behind 
I relapsed to that knife baby 
i'm so sorry you had to see that 
Just hold me tight

[Outro: Kurumi Violet & lostangel]
They'll say I was to blame 
When the monster 
I became was a product of the world's current state
(It was a product of the world's current state)
Is that it?
Is this where I rest?
Is this where?
I die 
(I die)
and i'm so ready to die

Current State W/ lostangel (Prod. neverforever + lostangel)

Written by: Kurumi Violet & JoshIGuess 
Produced by: ende! & fool
Mixed & Mastered by: JoshIGuess 
Artwork from: https://pin.it/3QaXlvAji
Artwork edited by: Kurumi Violet 

[Chorus 1: Kurumi Violet]
Halloween October party 
Last year don't get my started
All the skeletons they marketed 
& All the artists that never get hearted

[Verse 1: Kurumi Violet]
Carve some pumpkins for the season 
Got Costume parties & warm fires  
Because escaping is my desire 
Got old microphone wires 
Ready for the band we gonna hire 
With some good old apple cider

[Interlude: Kurumi Violet]
Yo it's Kurumi 
Hit me back when you uh
Get this yeah
See ya at the party homie haha

[Chorus 2: JoshIGuess]
October party it never ends
Months bought to end tho
Its Halloween 
The 31st, yea I get that urge
Let's match costumes
Wanna be with you
Let's go make some pumpkin pie and some cookies
Let's go inside of the patch they not looking
Scare em like a scare crow
Following these arrows
Fill candy with barrels
Wearing this apparel 

[Verse 2: JoshIGuess]
And I wish I could be as happy as a jack o lantern 
Permanent smiles til I rot until forever after
Candle already lit in preparation 
Shining thru the light thru my expiration, okay
Get me thru the day, get me thru the night
Yea we gonna party, past midnight
When things start to get just a lil more spooky
Im heading back home cus screw all these groupies

[Outro: Kurumi Violet]
Happy Halloween from Kurumi 
I hope you're having a good time 
I'll see you next year
For the next one 
Goodbye


October Party W/ JoshIGuess (Prod. ende! & fool)

physically on Earth
mind in space
my Instagram: @alifromearthmusic
i also make free beats on youtube

The meaning behind my name is "The idea of the Reaper is cool yet scary to me & I live within the shadows of everyone and everything"


I make music about my struggles, frustrations, & Passions
I play video games, watch anime, & Chill with my friends when I'm not making music

@angelsofsorrows l is my close friend and mixes my songs along with my other close friend @joshiguess huge shoutout to them wouldn't be able to pursue music without their help

I am a genderfluid artists who is 23 I  make music about my life whether it be literally about it or I use a fictional story to express my reality with metaphors and messages 

New Music Video out 
https://youtu.be/UhkCGzSZ1TA?si=bx29Ta8rYyVz9DPA

My former names include @kurama_sd , @kurama-sad , @reapers-shadow, & @reapers-remnants

My alt account is @kurumi-violet aka Violet Kurumi Alt It will be used for music I don't think is good enough for my main account but I think some people will still enjoy 

This account Will have endless amounts of styles Alt rock, Shoegaze, Dark hyper pop, Emo rap, Lo-Fi, Acoustic, Ambient, DNB & Much more 

♤ 𝚃𝚒𝚖𝚎𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 ♤ 
@northshoremusic 🂡
@killbreanna 🂡
@caspywaspy 🂡
@user-411557229 🂡
@navyxower 🂡
@shizukesaaa 🂡
@not-a-fucking-hero 🂡
@strivemusicau ♤ 
@autumndropsdead ♤
@noxious-nights ♤
@soulfadexo ♤
@imperial223 ♤
@dylaanlotus ♤

New tracks tagged #emptychest